Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus

Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus

released on Sep 01, 1995

Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus

released on Sep 01, 1995

You must help Bronkie and Rexo find the lost machine pieces by blowing away dust with your lungs, and hitting enemies with your dusters, before the dust returns and everyone chokes on the dust! But don't run into cigarrette smoke or dust storms, otherwise your vision will get darker, and you'll have a hard time finding out where to go, running into enemies all around!


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Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus is a weird one! It's an educational game about asthma, so you run around like a dinosaur, blasting dust and fighting enemies with your inhaler. The controls are clunky, and the levels are a bit bland, but it's so bizarre and kinda charming in its own way. Plus, for those that grew up with asthma, there might be a nostalgic kick. Honestly, it's not good in a traditional way, but it's definitely a unique experience.

Honestly? I expected a lot worse, and believe me the expectations were rock bottom. Even ignoring the educational intentions it's just a very mid platformer starring asthmatic dinosaurs.

I actually found the premise pretty endearing. Instead of the dinosaurs getting annihilated by the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, they actually survived in this timeline and had to start using inhalers due to the massive amount of dust from the cataclysm. They created a wind machine to keep the dust under control, only for some dickweed named Rexo to dismantle it, I assume for bureaucratic reasons to make more money off big pharma bucks. It's up to Bronkie and Trakie to keep their lungs healthy, and save the day with their uh....flyswatters, I think they're flyswatters, they're either using that or riding crops I can't really tell from their attack sprites.

Not super memorable or anything, but I myself had to use an inhaler when I was younger so maybe that's what's keeping me from wanting to bully the game more. I'd say my favorite moment was when the game told me to "look out for THIS GUY, he's got a cold!" Like specifically that guy, fuck that dude and his bad manners and not covering his damn mouth.

Would probably give 2.5 stars if I bothered still using decimals that weren't 0.5, but I like being more giving towards stuff like this than like....I dunno that fuckin' terrible No Escape game trying to bank off a Ray Liotta movie. I'm not sensing any attempt at flimflimmery here, just an attempt at spreading information, especially when it originally wasn't commercially available (as opposed to now where it's insane on ebay). I also grabbed the soundtrack too while this was fresh in mind, hey don't judge I like the funny tin can music.

Go on Bronkie and Trakie, teach the kids about inhalers and how to live with asthma! I salute you both. 🫡

Another "Health Hero" game published by Raya Systems, this time about a dinosaur with asthma. Pretty poor all throughout, definitely goes on for too long. Unfortunately not as funny as Captain Novolin or Rex Ronan, but there's a lot of amusingly bad music at least. Otherwise it's just kind of dull and bad.

What kind of fucking dinosaur has asthma anyway? It almost seems antithetical to itself. That would be like making a game about a pilot whose mom only allows him to fly on weekends or something. And only for 30 minutes before he has to go back home and get some rest.