peter is sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop
Brian: "Hey Peter what are you doing"
Peter: "Oh hey Bri, I'm reviewing our video game on this neat website, it's so freakin' awesome"
Brian: "Sure, but don't you think writing about your own work would come off as a bit narcissistic"
Peter: "No way, internet celebrities do this all the time. Just like my distant cousin and soulslike v-tuber, Ashley Griffin"
cutaway to Ashley Griffin
Ashley Griffin: "Rap isn't real music"

peter is again typing on his laptop, but is now laying stomach-down on the couch and swinging his legs back and forth while twirling his hair through his finger
stewie walks in
Stewie, chuckling: "Well well well, somebody must be making breakfast 'cause I see an egg cracking!"
long pause
the camera gets a close-up of Stewie
Stewie, looking at the camera with a straight face: "That was a gay joke."
another long pause
the doorbell rings
Peter, yelling towards kitchen: "Hey Meg, make yourself useful and get the door"
Meg: audibly makes this noise
Peter: "Shut up, Meg"
meg falls over and remains there for the duration of the scene
lois answers the front door
Lois: "Well, you must be Cyndi Lauper!"
Cyndi Lauper: "Hello, Lois. It is I, Cyndi Lauper, from 'that one music video your parents won't stop streaming to the tv while guests are over' "
peter walks on-screen
Peter: "What's goin' on""
Cyndi Lauper, hands on hips: "Peter, I'm here as a representative of the Lotta Paragraph Games Committee, and we've been receiving some very unhappy messages about your so-called 'review'. Many of our group chat members say it's in poor taste"
Peter: .
Lois, laughing nervously: "Ohhh, I'm sure it can't be that bad,"
Lois, now with a straight face: "Trust me, I know Peter and poor taste"
cutaway to peter sitting in a high chair wearing a bib. Lois is angrily feeding him peas on a spoon
Peter, crying: "I don't wanna! it doesn't even have any Styrofoam marshmallows shaped like my morning cartoons!"
Lois, fuming: "You'll eat it and like it!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Now, it's perfectly reasonable to be defensive about it, but that's the group consensus going around"
Cyndi Lauper, whispering to Peter: "I even hear them calling it pick-me behavior"
Peter, gasping: "What??? Pick-me behavior??? That's ridiculous! I haven't done anything of the sort! Well, not since high school, anyway"
cut to joe, cleveland, peter and quagmire, in high school, sitting at, each holding a glass of milk
Joe: "My glass is half-full"
Cleveland: "My glass is half-empty"
Peter, doing pensive emoji face: "My glass feels like everyone treats them like a ghost and wishes they would invite them to parties and give them free affection but it's ok it's not really bothered by it it's just venting :("
Quagmire: "My glass is still warm! Giggity giggity giggity giggity!!!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Well I'm sorry, but if you want to give a better impression to those people, you'll have to put up a new review expressing how you really feel"

peter, joe, and quagmire are sitting at their booth
Peter, looking at the camera, unimpressed: "Cleveland isn't here with us today so I'm going to say something racially insensitive. Seth will not comment about this for the next 20 years, then reply to a callout tweet about it with the 'clenched teeth oooooh' reaction gif"
Quagmire, looking at Peter: "So Peter, you're saying these guys are upset at your review"
Peter: "Yeah, they say it's not a real review and it's just me bragging about me having my own game"
Joe: "Well Beter, if I were you, I'd update it to include a lengthy manifesto about the idiosyncrasies between our show's cutaway format and the sequential structure of game
Quagmire: "Or you could be like me and name all the characters you wanna bang!"
Peter, excited: "Hey, that's a great idea!"
Joe: "Which idea, the uhh, my idea or the other one"
Peter, now straight-faced: "The other one"
Joe, looking downwards: .

cut to stewie and brian eating granola and sitting on a rock
Stewie, chewing: "This is the B-plot where we try to make you forget we don't have any other gags about gamer culture"
Brian, also chewing: "I read yaoi during the cutaways"

Two more plot-threads occur over the next 15 minutes, entirely unrelated to the first.

Family Guy the Video Game is a repetitive mess that plays like an episode of family guy.

The game is riddled with a bunch of references from the early seasons, and overall has a dumb story within it's gameplay.
While it is cool seeing iconic locations from family guy within this game, you basically go along with 3 different gameplay styles:

Stewie: Platforming Shooter Section

Peter: Side Scrolling Beat em Up

Brian: Stealth Sections

The game has you progressing from point A to B, while occasionally progressing throughout the levels, with different references and straight up jokes from Family Guy, repeated here instead of new jokes. And while it does have a bit of new jokes, they're not funny.

The Stewie sections are usually running and gunning while fighting enemies, along with occasionally platforming they're fine for what they are. Peter sections can get repetitive at times but they're beat em up sections and it's fine enough to where you can tolerate the repetitiveness since it's just copying general beat em ups.
The Brian sections... these sections are legit so boring to get through, there's never a worry that you're going to be caught by a guard or anything and the placement of the items you need to get context wise to the locations don't make sense at all.

The story is: Bertram returns to screw with Stewie and attempt to kill Stewie and take over the world. Brian gets accused by Carter Pewterschmidt (Lois' Dad) over Seabreeze
getting pregnant (assuming that this takes place after the Seabreeze episodes, but who cares there's no cohesive timeline for Family Guy) and he gets beaten up and arrested.
Brian then has to escape the Quahog and go to different areas to find evidence to prove his innocence and who the real culprit is. Peter's story is literally just he follows a light signal of Mr Belvedere... for some reason.

The game occasionally throws in cut away gags as minigame to break up gameplay, they're fine for what they do, and they give you bonuses for the character you're playing as.

The background jokes can give a nice member-berries for those who remember the early seasons.
Peter is only character who has costume changes because throughout each area of this game, for story reasons, Peter gets hurt and becomes a previous persona from an early episode:

- Regular Peter
- Rufus Griffin (Black Peter who's based on Disco and Black Dynamite)
- Prostitute Peter
- A.N.N.A. Peter (Robot Peter from the episode of: THE KING IS DEAD)

You go to different areas of Quahog like the Griffin Household, Spooner Street, Downtown, Cheesie Charlies, Quahog Police Station, Quahog Hospital, Quahog Dog Racing Track, inside Peter's Brain, and the park.

The game has 3 conclusions for the 3 characters:

-Brian proves his innocence and proves that Quagmire is the father of Seabreeze's puppies (Gross)
- Stewie Defeats Bertram and Bertram escapes by calling his mom
- Peter learns that Mr Belvedere is actually dead and has a fight with the Chicken as the final boss, only for the game to end with same Mr. Belvedere Signal to appear again, causing Peter to get angry as to what or who is making the signal.

We learn at the end it's Mayor Adam West making Shadow Puppets.

The game has a nostalgic factor for me obviously, but looking at it critically it's just below average at best, and really boring at worse, with a typical Family Guy story.

I will say though, I don't like the false advertising of the cover in terms of who it shows. I don't get why the cover shows Chris and Lois as if they're playable when they're just used for background gags, having no story of their own. The cover should have just been Peter, Brian, and Stewie, with Lois and Chris in the background like Meg.

Can't really recommend unless you love Family Guy, or love to be bored.

I streamed this game the other night, haven't played it since I was a child; it's just as shite as I remembered it being

Stewie levels are boring, the Brian levels are fucking annoying, the Peter levels are actually somewhat fun y'know, until the game decided to fucking softlock and wouldn't spawn the enemies, leaving me unable to progress without the possibility of a full restart... fuck that

Game is also ugly as sin and has that classic seth mcfarlane cringe, stay away