Krazy Ivan

released on Feb 15, 1996

It is the year 2018. Devastating energy shields have appeared in five different places on the earth and are spreading at an incredible rate. There is only one solution: combat the enemy from within and destroy them. Only one machine is powerful enough: a 40ft high Robot. Only one man is crazy enough to operate it. His name: Krazy Ivan.


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I went in expecting Ivan to be Krazy but instead it was the gameplay itself. Navigating a cool mech has never felt so flaccid there is zero weight to movement and gunfire. Instead of logically having simple strafing, you tap either L1 or R1 to perform a small sideway boost, if you want to circle around an enemy get ready to mash the L1/R1 repeatedly. That alone is difficult enough but in order to shoot you have to hold X while also feathering R2/L2 to control your vertical aiming—it's a fucking nightmare. Controls aside, there isn't anything here gameplay wise that will keep you hooked, you drop into one of five levels and are given a handful of targets to find and kill, every level follows the same format. The only saving grace is the live action FMV sections which have kino b-tier acting. You're better off just searching for the FMVs on Youtube and skipping the rest.

The best russian joke of 2018:
Иван: "Вы слышали об Иване, который сбежал от пришельцев?"
Чужой: "Нет, я не слышал"
Иван: "Это потому что я тихий Иван"
[Безумные звуки русского насилия]