Poinie's Poin

released on Sep 26, 2002

A 3D playformer developed by Alvion for the PlayStation 2. Although the title was released exclusively in Japan, Poinie's Poin contains an English option that fully translates and dubs the entire game.


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so freaking cute and silly gameplay not bad at all rly i think this is awesome they just kinda gave up with an ending which sucks but to be expected i guess who cares everyones so fun n unique dancing to all the songs esp main title and the ending song w seq SO CUTE crying whats his name just known as the pooper and eater i love him hes my fav w poinie

this game is awesome, love the environments and puzzle mechanics. there's some confusing sections near the end but overall really solid
very awesome story too

esse jogo é meio q um mistério. n q ele tenha alguma história de desenvolvimento sinistra, alguma creepy pasta idiota ou qualquer parada nebulosa por trás.

ele é um mistério pois é meio q difícil dizer qual é a desse jogo. muita gente aqui no ocidente acha q qualquer coisa japonesa engraçada é o resultado de um acidente. q kazuma kiryu em yakuza 2 dando um uppercut em um tigre é algo feito com intuito de ser levado completamente a sério e a gente só acha engraçado por conta do choque cultural.

isso é completa bobagem, mas eu falo isso meio q pra me explicar pq eu realmente n sei se esse jogo é tão engraçado de próposito ou n. só sei q esse jogo é engraçado. MUITO engraçado. e as vezes em um tom estranhamente inconsistente, o q tbm é difícil de dizer se é de propósito ou n. vc vai ouvir algumas frases q vc NÃO esperava sair da boca de uma garotinha de desenho animado cuja frase de efeito é "nanny-nanny-boo-boo", e isso acontece tão raramente q sempre vai te pegar de surpresa.

mas n é por isso q eu amo esse jogo. n só por isso, pelo menos. esse jogo é divertido. esse jogo é fofo. esse jogo tem uma trilha sonora docinha e bonitinha. esse jogo tem uma dublagem maluca. esse jogo tem uma linda estética esquisitinha q n consigo n amar.

mas além de tudo, esse jogo é meio q genuíno. tão genuíno q essa talvez seja a coisa mais esquisita dele. enquanto os créditos rolavam eu percebi q eu tinha me apegado muito aos personagens, principalmente ao titular Poinie, e esse jogo tem nem três horas e meia de duração.

enfim, eu amei esse jogo. se tornou um dos meus favoritos. mas tem uma câmera lixo e alguns chefes bem atrapalhados, e n sei se consigo recomendar pra muita gente. é meio q um jogo pra bbs. mas acho q vale a pena pelo menos ver uns minutinhos de alguma longplay.

Such a crazy silly game. It's worth playing through just to see what happens next. Though, the game itself is pretty mediocre.

Short and cozy with extremely fun visuals and charm. Not even a remotely great game but the vibes are so perfect for me specifically I have to give it a 10/10.

Also the core gameplay is literally fucking OMORI but not made by a pedophile.

Whooh, Poinie, your mom is bitchin'...

Words cannot describe how absurd this game is. I'm utterly convinced that this game was conceived and developed throughout its life-cycle by a group completely high on acid, because that's what this game feels like. Heck, you could even make the argument that the poins are a metaphor for drugs, with their ability to manipulate emotions and all. With that in mind, the fact that the game design encourages you to use poins to change civilian's emotions to help you progress through the game is... quite frankly disturbing. Yay for drugs...?

Poinie's Poin, both visually and literally, is made as if it were a game for kids. Every location feels like a Skittle colour palette of Candyland themes, giving off this psychedelic, surreal vibe that even outclasses Klonoa. You know, a game about entire dream lands???? They're all painted in the most obnoxious, vibrant hues of the rainbow imaginable, as if to mimic the setting of a preschool cartoon. The gameplay lends itself well to double down on this 'children's game' vibe, with the controls being the most basic 'jump, grab and throw' possible. Most levels quite literally have the solution to a puzzle illustrated right next to it, or have simple, large platforms with small gaps in between that children can easily jump across and go 'Hey look mommy, I made progress!'. Boss fights are also fairly easy to understand, and most of the time the game is generous enough to include large numbers of poins for you to use.

Yet at the same time, despite its in-your-face kiddy aesthetics, this game is clearly not made for children. I think.

If the opening line of this review didn't set off an alarm, it probably should when you actually hear it in-game. This line is delivered by the same pint-sized kid who, earlier on in the game, would call one of your fellow companions a 'vixen' upon meeting her for the first time. The same companion who gets constantly called a 'babe' by the Eric Cartman-sounding duck on your ass. The same duck who, likewise, tells you to either 'go pee or get off the pot' when making a decision.

This shit gets hilariously dark, man! Poinie's a fucking terrorist, have you seen what he does? He floods an entire city by making a pirate fish cry! He causes a dog chef (who says the line 'Today's cooking was really cooking!' unironically) to fucking blow up his own restaurant! An explosion so strong it caused structural damage in the SEWERS! And of course, there's the finale of the game, where Poinie and Lilin crash a ROCKET into Jellytown! You can even see the pavement bursting from the ground due to the impact! And yet somehow, the only thing damaged throughout this whole ordeal was a singular coffee shop. I feel bad for whoever runs that store. Perhaps the darkest thing about the story, though, is that at one point in the game, the leader of the PetitGang tells one of his gang members to go back into HER CAGE??? And then says they need to get a new MUZZLE for her??? And then the girl literally says, and I quote:

"Men! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em!"

??????????????

As if it wasn't already obvious from everything I've said so far, this game is flat out bonkers. It feels more like a parody of a children's cartoon, and as many reviewers before me have put it, a piece of lost, obscure media that only a handful ever remember. What I also appreciate about this game, however, is its qualities as a surreal horror game disguised as a preschool game. I mean, you're constantly reminded of it throughout the experience, from the drug metaphors to the constant annihilation of JellyTown to the crude language. Unlike certain franchise like Poppy Playtime, however, the game does a splendid job about being subtle around it. These moments of absurd darkness are, in reality, sandwiched between mostly childish dialogue and bright colours, leaving them to be quickly brushed aside by both children and their parents alike. Besides, if there's one line that everyone remembers from this game, it's 'Yippie! Yo! You can't touch this!' anyway (can we also talk about the pop culture references in this game? MC Hammer was relevant a decade before this, and there are also nods to Bon Jovi, Mary Poppins and Yoda). This is probably why Poinie's Poin, despite being primarily dubbed and subbed in English, was an exclusive Japanese release, because I hardly believe most Japanese families would notice the swearing, anyway. It's a great thing the Internet wasn't as big as it is today.

One thing that puzzles most of the community today is the fact that Poinie's Poin, with all its obscurity and weirdness, was actually endorsed by Sony Computer Entertainment themselves. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised. SCE has always been weird with their promotion of PlayStation-related content, especially in the 2000s. I mean, why else would they film that fucking baby vs PS3 commercial? Yet it surprises me that 'till this day, the most people know about this game is through Vinny Vinesauce, because Poinie's Poin truly feels like a cult classic video game. With its lost media vibes, incredibly surreal aesthetics, childlike environments and shockingly blink-and-you-miss-it tones of abrupt maturity, Poinie's Poin deserves to be known as one of those 'games of all time', and a game that defined the weirdness of the early 2000s and SCE as a whole.

One thing remains consistent throughout this acid trip, however:
The camera control sucks ass. This truly was an early 2000s PS2 game.

Final rating: 7/10
Focus: whatever the fuck this game is
Theme: what the fuck