releases on TBD
by Habby

releases on TBD
by Habby

Dangerous zombies are attacking the entire city! The city is in peril!
Awakened by the trial of dreams, you've no choice but to take on the heroic mantle of saving the city!
As a human warrior with unlimited potential, you and other survivors will have to pick up your weapons and battle these evil and dangerous zombies!

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What if Vampire Survivors had minging mobile F2P gimmicks in it? What if I punched myself in the head repeatedly? What if, what if?

So I regularly download the Number 1 game on the app store regularly and this was it idk at the point of writing this like 9 months ago but at the time I knew of Vampire Survivors but never played it. So this was my first taste of "Bullet Heaven?" (I fucking hate the name) games. And it was really cool, I loved the grind of this game, they made you feel ultra powerful but it felt like a chore. After the first like week or so I would check in do a daily and be like "I'm not having fun with this" and like would level up my weapon and eventually after a month just gave up, maybe it's because of the mobile aspects but it just didn't feel good.

I wasted way too much time on this game while on breaks at lunch. It’s riding the success of vampire survivor and made a minimalist, ad filled, micro transaction begging, not great version of it. It’s not the worst game I’ve played, especially on my phone, but I wish I wouldn’t have put in the 8 or so hours that I did. Every level is basically the same with different skins. The system basically boils down to you just lose until you upgrade enough and then you all of a sudden destroy the level OR you pay money to make it a much quicker process. Not worth the time, play something else.

Play Vampire Survivors instead. This is no more than a hastily put together rip-off that, like nearly all mobile games, is heinously monetized.

i've reached the necessary conclusion of my vampire survivor knockoff arc, i think. i'm pretty burned out on games right now, a little too depressed and chronically stoned to put the energy into anything but just bein alive, so i got this mobile game to mess around with while i'm laying in bed. it plays like all of these games do - you move your little dude around, he shoots his little bullets at the enemy dudes, you pick up points to get upgrades, and so on ad infinitum (not 'ad infinitum' as in a single run lasts endlessly, but that every run feels basically the same). this one has the artifice of a mobile game, though, so there's an energy system that limits your playtime and a microtransaction shop and shit, you open loot boxes for new items, bleh. plays fine, it's a serviceable clone, but it provides the absolute bare minimum for one of these games, while cramming in as much annoying advertisement shit and unnecessary mechanics as possible to idk, warp your brain i guess. so its just ok

I daily this during my daily morning standup meeting at work. It's got fun arcade-style gameplay and no ads outside of the random offer to buy gems. I'll take that any day over "Freshen your shmeat in 10 days" and those "Gameplay" mobile ads that have a god-awful clip of the actual game in 20x20p with some grown man who prolly still kisses his mom on the lips narrating with the mic shoved in his throat and blaring sound effects of items and swords drowning his voice out anyway. Why bother at that point? The obnoxious ads on nearly every mobile game out there are why I barely delve into that realm.
For that reason, this receives an 8/10. Super Mario Galaxy better watch out.