I'll have to admit that maybe nostalgia plays a role here, but I'm really not kidding when I say that the racetracks in this game have some of the best track designs that I've ever seen in any racing game. Some of these tracks are so long that require around 1:30 minute laps, maybe even longer for more casual players or children. The AI was also not very forgiving! Especially around the second time the levels have to be beaten; I remember having a rather tough time trying to beat them when I was young. However, with great level design come great shortcuts. If there's anything I love about racing games of that time is how abundant in shortcuts they are. These levels can have up to 5 shortcuts, ranging from small cuts to alternate routes to hidden passages to doorways that have to be opened by going through three rings that are scattered around the track. Some of these shortcuts are so well hidden that I didn't even discover them until I replayed the game not long ago! It's really a lot of fun to go through these tracks, which also have amazing theming, being based upon real rides and attractions at Disneyland. The trophy game was also a cool addition that tested your knowledge and familiarity with the track, especially to see if you've discovered those sneaky shortcuts I was talking about earlier! Overall I really enjoyed this game, and I still think modern racing games should look back to this period and check if they can learn a thing or two from it :)

Has to be one of the more convoluted video game titles I know. It's no Barkley: Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, but for a Disney game (particularly a non-Kingdom Hearts one), it's quite the kludgy mouthful. Quick child, let us away to play us some Walt Disney World Registered Trademark Symbol Quest Colon Magical Racing Tour Unregistered Trademark Symbol.

The PC port of this was one of my first kart racers, preceded only by the first Nicktoons Racing. It's always been an odd thing to hold as a cornerstone of nostalgia, because it's almost completely unmoored from anything I would have had context for as a kid. I'd never been to Disney World, I'd never seen Chip 'n' Dale: Rescue Rangers, I'd never played any of the kart racers that served as obvious points of reference, I'd never played Gex 3 (from which some songs are sourced)... about the only through-lines I had were Pinocchio, classic Chip 'n' Dale shorts (which, to be honest, are far more relevant; I have no idea why the guys are in their Rescue Rangers outfits here), and the idea of what Disney World was, from VHS ad tapes and my sister boasting about getting to go. Even now, I've never been to Disney World, so I can't vouch for how they did adapting the different attractions.

But I have since played a buncha kart racers, so I finally had context for what they were going for this revisit. It's, curiously, a fairly direct clone of Crash Team Racing, with some cues taken from Diddy Kong Racing. The game was turned around pretty quickly, so while there IS an adventure mode with some bonus arena tracks, there isn't any hub area to explore (too bad, Disney would've make for a fun overworld), and tracks are divided into three sets of three (plus a couple bonuses) rather than the standard four sets of four. Items are also a very basic mix, limited to analogues for Mario Karts' Shells, Mushroom, Star, and Lightning Bolt, plus a creative alternative to the Banana Peel in the Tea Cup.

I'm actually not gonna come swinging right out the gate, as I do think this is a fairly competent racer. Crystal Dynamics did a generally serviceable job aping CTR's thing, not entirely getting the nuances that make CTR so brilliant but understanding it well enough to get by. The tracks are creative reinterpretations of the rides that expand upon their overall ideas by featuring a ton of split paths; Haunted Mansion, Jungle Cruise, and Pirates of the Caribbean are all littered with alternate routes, and while I'm sure there is an optimal path that speedrunners lean into, it's neat seeing the variety of routes on casual runs. In the case of Pirates (one of the few rides whose tricks I know), this is how they were able to showcase all the different scenes in the context of a kart racer; I'm sure this is the case for a lot of the other rides-turned-tracks, too. There are lots of cute thematic moments here and there, too, like Space Mountain starting with a liftoff sequence with a bunch of speed pads, or the secret ski launch in Blizzard Beach.

On the flipside, DINOSAUR! kinda sucks (like its namesake movie!) Tomorrowland Speedway also feels like a Luigi Circuit, which, I don't think should have been a priority for this game. There's something really hollow about Splash Mountain, too, but maybe that's why it's a bonus track rather than one of the main picks. Definitely feels like Crystal Dynamics ran out of time making that one. Also, while it's cute that they licensed music like "A Pirate's Life for Me" and "Grim Grinning Ghosts", getting the songs out of context makes them sound so repetitive.

The drift system is mostly there. I'm not great at kart racers, so I can't say with authority how this stacks up, but it generally feels okay. The issue I run into is that it's a bit too easy to activate. Years of practice in Mario Kart and its peers has taught me that there's a second's delay between your drift hop before you start building up sparks, which can be useful for extremely precise maneuvers. That delay isn't present here, so you end up being able to build mini-turbos instantly. I actually quite appreciate this for certain sections, like the 90° turns in Haunted Mansion, but it does make the arena tracks (Epcot Test Track, Typhoon Lagoon, Hollywood Studios) more trouble to negotiate. I imagine "snaking" is ridiculously easy to pull off in this title, so if you're good, you can probably smoke the competition.

I mentioned items before, but to drill into them a bit more - they're surprisingly unbalanced for how simple they are. There is no Blue Shell analogue, and Frog Spell (the Lightning Bolt analogue) is a bit bugged, so there isn't a great way to slow down first place if they have an insane lead. There is also little defensive play, which is generally something I'm not worried about (Shells/Banana Peels do the job well enough in most Marios Kart) but you really really feel here. See, when a CPU opponent hits an item balloon, they don't have to roll the item - they instantly get their item, and they will instantly use it if it's advantageous. This is quite obnoxious if you're right in front of the pack going through balloons, as it isn't uncommon to suddenly have Red Acorns (Triple Red Shells) coming at you. Usually six of them in sequence, so even if you rolled Acorns (or are about to roll them; an odd quirk is that the item roll is just for show, and the game already acts as though you have gotten the item you're gonna get), your defensive shield is quickly chewed away, and then you get bodied by a conga line of homing missiles. And sometimes squished, if you are a frog. Really makes you appreciate the delay baked into other kart racers, so you don't immediately get ambushed by every opponent the moment you hit the item balloons.

I also have to say, there are few kart racer projectiles more pathetic than Green, non-homing Acorns. If you use them as anything besides a shield, you're a chump.

I think the idea of the cast - weird Disney World Gijinkas - is cute. Like, Jiminy/Chip/Dale are all there for marketing, but everyone else is just a pure aesthetics character. I also like that it's not just the rides, but the idea of princess/cast member fandom. Polly Roger is the best, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you liked Baron Karlott, or Bruno Biggs, or Tiara Damáge better. We may have words if you're an Oliver Chickly III die-hard.

So, like, this isn't really a lost gem or anything, but it's worth the quick playthrough if you're a big kart racer fan. Maybe don't go for all trophies, but getting all the machine parts and first-place flags needed to unlock Splash Mountain is a breezy enough time. You could do a lot worse for budget Disney-themed kart racers developed by major studios during the 5th console generation trying to imitate existing big-name counterparts.