4 reviews liked by Altermentality


This review contains spoilers

So are we ever going to talk about the ending to this game? The one that spends probably a good ten minutes with all the characters, after an impressive victory against an enormous demonic evil, sitting around and bickering over who gets to kiss the unconscious love interest which will then decide for her who she gets to marry? Imagine going to bed thinking you have some sort of agency in who you get to consent to physical intimacy with, and then waking up to some asshole who plunked his wet juicy lips down on your face while you were asleep and tells you great news, honey! We’re engaged! Did this asshole just save the world? Did he just break a spell put upon you that would have otherwise made you sleep forever? Are any of those questions not even remotely the goddamn point? Yes, yes, and yes, respectively.

Of course the anonymous hero gets the girl in the end, because he’s white blond and human, but then there’s so much time spent with the other members of your party moping aw shucks, I wanted the princess to be unconsciously arranged in marriage to me against her will, I really thought I had a shot. Which reminds me, by the way, uh... how does, er, how does that work, in the Shining Force world? You know, ahm... I mean, can centaurs and dwarves and elves and, uh... birdmen, and... anthropomorphic ninja mice... can they all, mate together? Are they actually different species, or is it all fair game as long as they have human faces and sentience and can stand upright with at least two bipedal legs? Fuck man, why did this game make me think about this? All I wanted was a nice little tactical rpg where a bunch of fantasy archetypes slay a big evil archetype. I NEVER asked for this

In theory, making a spiritual successor to Jet Force Gemini is a novel idea. It's a really interesting game for its time that while good, does have its fair share of messiness, especially when it comes to controls. The idea of making a semi followup while keeping the idea of modern game design philosophy in mind could end up making a game like this a modern day hidden gem. Unfortunately Tamarin is not this game. It's a very clunky and frustrating experience that's a step back in almost every way possible. A game that refuses to play by the rules of modern game design philosophy and suffers heavily for it. Run n Gun controls feel practically unchanged from JFG, giving the game a really big stiffness and awkwardness to shooting and moving, and that goes for all of the controls. There's also a very obvious delay upon pressing any button. Not enough to actually impact gameplay, but just enough to notice that there is one. Collectibles are scattered throughout the game, but have seemingly no consistency to how many of a certain collectible will be in that area, making some areas feel too bloated with items, while leaving others feeling awkwardly empty. The world's themselves look fine enough, but very much give off pre made Unity map vibes, and because of that causes a big clash with with the character and their style and designs, making for 2 different art styles that really clash poorly. There are a couple of good things however, and I do mean a couple as in 2. First, the character designs. The Tamarin family are cute and they do have some pretty nice emotions and animations at times, despite the fact that they clash with the environment around them. The second is the absolute banger Soundtrack. Somehow they got David Wise to compose this game along with Graeme Noegate for an additional ambient track and its the biggest highlight of the game hands down. The saddest thing about Tamarin is just how much potential it had to be a really cool game, but somehow misses every single opportunity it got to be that game. It's a shame that this is still Chameleon Games only outing so far, as I'd have liked to see them potentially take the these criticisms into account for a potential sequel or just next game, but I've got a feeling that they quietly disappeared into the aether as nobody mentions this game despite its almost 3 year existence. It even hurts more that despite wanting to see this developer improve, I can't in good conscience recommend this game at all. It's just so boring, bland, and forgettable. Not worth your money or time in the slightest.

This game has some of the worst numbers you'll ever see.

Circle of the Moon isn't a bad game, and there's a lot that this very early GBA game gets right. The music, even among people who loathe the game, is commonly praised. The graphical direction in this game wasn't tailored for the GBA in the way that future entries would lead towards, but it also means that it's aged better visually than other game that rely on a saturated color pallet to make up for the GBA's lack of backlight. The plot isn't connected to the Belmont clan's exploits, but I see that as more of a strength than something worth condemning the game for. Castlevania lore shouldn't be sacrosanct, and the new characters fit well into the setting. The card system was a cool idea on paper, and one that's critical enough to your progress to where you won't want to ignore it. The map design isn't as complex as SOTM, but there were still interesting setpieces and plenty of Metroidvania games would come after with worse map design. As other reviews have pointed out, this was a B-team production, and there's enough high quality elements to COTM that I didn't even realize that was the case until 15+ years after I first played this game.

This game's numbers take all of that praise and toss it right into the trash for most people. The card system, something that should have allowed for player expression in how they wanted to overcome puzzles/combat challenges fails because of how low the drop rates for these cards are. It's not just that you have to grind for them aimlessly without a guide, the drop rates are way too low. The game's balanced around the card system, ignoring it makes most fights more of a slog than they already could be. They could have adjusted drop rates to what they'd be in future Castlevania games, or made it so they're nice additions to the game but aren't required to progress, both of which could be accomplished by messing around with a few numbers in a hex editor. The most I've ever enjoyed the card system was when I used an action replay as a kid to give myself all the cards, and exploring each of the effects was a lot of fun.

Movement in this game isn't bad, but it is too sluggish even with the dash/backdash feature. Again, tweak a few numbers and have the player move twice as fast by default, and you don't have to adjust anything about the core design of the game to rectify the issue of having to lug this white haired sloth around the castle.

Enemies in this game deal entirely too much damage and sponge damage, even with card support. It's not that the enemy/boss patterns feel that out of place with the rest of the series, even if further GBA games would improve upon them. The final boss fight with Dracula would be really fun, if bursts of high damage weren't constant. You can mostly keep that fight in tact, just tweak some health and damage values and the final fight goes from a low point in the series to a decent little challenge.

Beartank is playable in this game. Even as a novelty, he's worse than easier to get novelties. Nobody's done Beartank runs of this game because you deal so little damage that it isn't fun. You could have a new (and superior) way to play COTM if killing everything with Beartank didn't take twice as long as a default Nathan. Up his damage and make it so he doesn't die in one hit. When I think of "tanks" and "bears", getting one shot does not cross my mind at all.

Even with all of these issues, I still thought the overall experience was decent, there's still enough going on with this game (especially compared to other GBA platforms) to where I didn't feel like I wasted my time. That being said, if you want to give the game a go, on romhacking.net there are two patches, one that adds an auto-dash feature, and one that places cards around the castle in predetermined locations. I'm not sure if the two of them can be combined, but either would go far to relieve some of this game's headaches.

"Paint Roller, you are the meanest art student I've ever met."