There's a real listlessness to life, especially the point I'm at. I'm 19, and I still don't really have a sense of where I'm going or what I'm doing. I'm trying to find something to hold onto, but more often than not it slips away from me. It's all very disheartening. Being an artist, itself, is disheartening, especially when I haven't been able to make anything original in months. Nothing feels worth doing.

The air in Martinaise is a fog. Not a visible one - but a tangible one. Its presence is not seen, but felt. Everywhere you go is this apathetic daze of a town that has been traumatized constantly for the past century, with every passing decade bringing more ruin onto it. All thoughts of positive change are waved away as idealistic or hopeless. Even the people you meet who are making the most changes are doing horrible things.

It's heavy. It's palpable. It's real.

I couldn't finish Disco Elysium. The air while playing the game is too dense. My eyes grow too heavy. It starts to take a toll on you. Even though the world is full of funny moments and witty writing, at the end of the day, it's a horrible place to be in.

It consumes you.

Reviewed on Jun 21, 2022


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