636 reviews liked by Cakewalking


Another vicim of the early 10's weird aesthetic that I can only describe as "indie gymbro" that gave us some of the ugliest games I have ever seen like Broforce, Rocketbirds, Shank, Expendabros, etc...

Why would I want to play a game called “World of Warcraft” when I already live in a world with the United States in it

" To be or not to be, that is the serious question " - Sam, the Serious

[Game Director]
- Mounir Radi

[Senior Game Designer]
- Rèmi Boutin

[Combat Designer]
- Lucas Sachez
- Paul Bordeau
- Red Cochennec

[Level Designer]
- Bertrand Israel
- Yannick Patet
- Gregory Palvadeu
- Erwan Cochon
- Alvin Chambost
- Tom Guiraud
- Alberto Portero Ariza

Praise their names instead of Ubisoft.

Serious Sam was probably designed as a perfectly well thought out shooter somewhat, but every time someone from Croteam said "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if we-" they would all say yes in unison and then promptly add the most hilarious bullshit you've ever seen in a game.

Genuinely the best feeling 3D platformer I've played innnnnn gotta be at least 5 years. It's, just, pouring out the seams with charm and earnest love, to the point where the polish feels homemade with its partly-crusty lining. Sometimes for woe though, of course, like when the geometry can ~occasionally~ disagree with your particular momentum and existence. Otherwise it feels as clean as it should be!

It has the makings of doing the Super Mario Odyssey flowchart of hat-tricking, but with detours and digressions from that linear track, encouraged both for score and conserving momentum. Sonic but not-quite-Sonic sprinklings on top, and that all flows together phenomenally. What's altogether more stunning though is it's the only work of its ilk that bothers to really have "level design." There's real guidance through its stages in a way that lets you go absolutely hogwild with its toolkit without ever being 'too open' or 'too constrained.' You can reasonably skip as much as you'd like to by mastering the speed of yo-yo tricks well enough, but there's always some things you Need to do. It's so super encouraging of going for the One-Combo 100% run through its stages, to the point where I actually went and did a few. I can't say a game like this has done that to me! It helps that the music is so bouncy and blissful, and stages never outstay their welcome to where the prospect of "you need to do this entire stage again" is a "absolutely hun let's do even better this time".

My only ~real~ issue is that the swinging and twirling, sadly, lacks enough bite, at least for me. I don't think there's a single stage or moment where the game challenged me, and this is AFTER doing every bonus stage. Sure I can do the one-combos and those can be difficult but with all the skips it's only really as hard as I let it be? Even though it's not uncharacteristic for such a clearly soft platformer, I find myself so unsatisfied with the lengths the game really went to, especially when the final boss was more of a wet fart than a real demonstration of the game's skills, or like, your performance as an artist!!! Give it an encore! A real spicy star road!

The vomit emoji is too tame to represent how I felt with this one.

Fuck this baby.
Vote 3rd party.

This game is quite litearlly a love letter to the fans and celebration of yakuza series as a whole. They really outdid themselfs even if yokoyama really really really likes kiwami games and story felt pretty empty at times
Chapter 12 bossfight might be THE greatest boss fight in any game I've ever played