Cosmochimp
13 reviews liked by Cosmochimp
EUROJANK.
SoC is a fantastic thematic FPS that feels constantly tense, and gunplay that rewards careful planing and execution. It's very buggy, and the color palette may be bland, but it's a massive achievement nonetheless. Stalker 2 has a ton of potential if they use this as a guide
SoC is a fantastic thematic FPS that feels constantly tense, and gunplay that rewards careful planing and execution. It's very buggy, and the color palette may be bland, but it's a massive achievement nonetheless. Stalker 2 has a ton of potential if they use this as a guide
bethesda games used to be broken and badly written in fun ways. my favourite fact about this game is that they organised the script in alphabetical order when they gave it to the voice actors, so the reason everything sounds so disjointed is that two lines in the same conversation might have been recorded hours apart from each other. thats the type of absolutely insane decision-making which went into making this game, and for that alone i have to support it.
DC Universe Online
2011
The game is just shit but the greatest crime is the character creator, which offers you nothing more than the chance to be a faded emulation of an existing DCtm SuperheroTM. There is exactly one female body type (Wonder Woman's) and everyone has to share.
The first time someone makes a game where you can make your own Superhero and fully understands all the dimensions of the superhero fantasy, including bodily hyper-autonomy, and the outward expression of interiority (including a multifaceted representation of the psycho-sexual aspect) they will make approximately One Bajillion Dollars. Until then we simply have to point and laugh at this fucking shambles.
The first time someone makes a game where you can make your own Superhero and fully understands all the dimensions of the superhero fantasy, including bodily hyper-autonomy, and the outward expression of interiority (including a multifaceted representation of the psycho-sexual aspect) they will make approximately One Bajillion Dollars. Until then we simply have to point and laugh at this fucking shambles.
Wii Sports Resort
2009
One of my first Wii games, with Wii Sports. I might be biased, since this game is very important/nostalgic to me, but I really feel that there's so much this game has to offer. You can tell it was made with love from the music, UI, and polish the game has. All the minigames are fun, especially with the Wii's motion controls. It's amazing as a sequel to Wii Sports, and amazing as its own standalone game. Not sure about playing it as a party game since I've never played it multiplayer, but I can say for sure that it's a great timewaster when you're bored and want something to play.
Metal Gear Solid
1998
SOLID game but mgs fans should try GEARing up to approach some METAL ass bitches instead
Fallout: New Vegas
2010
the only good fallout game (isometric fallout fans start screaming at me) the oNLY GOOD FALLOUT GAME
This review contains spoilers
I enjoyed westerado: double barreled - a fun little RPG with more choice than many games give you.
The game opens with your brother's death and the burning of your homestead by an unnamed bandit and sets you out on a path to revenge, giving you a clue about the appearance of the perpetrator. However, it soon becomes clear that this functions as little more than a motivation to complete the large amount of varied side quests dotted around the map, as as you complete each quest your reward is another clue as to your targets appearance.
There's a variety of paths you can go down, and I was impressed by the complete flexibility given to the player - you can kill any NPC you want (or a quest wants you to) , sure, but that might mean that another NPCs quest will fall through, or people will be hostile to you.
The dialogue is fun and compelling, and the option to pull a gun on anyone at any point leads to some interesting intimidation options which may go astray.
The map is reasonably sized, with an overground and an underground, however parts of it feel barren and empty, filled with not plot relevant bandits whose fights seem to purely exist to pad out the game.
The movement in the game is fine, with useful fast travel options and a decent running speed. The combat is uninspired but largely not unfun - you may only fire left or right while being able to move in any direction, and mostly becomes a rhythm exercise of waiting for the right time to take your shot so that you are not shot by another enemy while you have end lag.
The "main plot" of the game is fairly weak, with you discovering the identity of your brother's killer, who could be any NPC in the town and accusing them, which leads to a final dungeon and boss fight. Not bad, just not interesting, though you get the impression that the game wants you to focus on all the side quests.
Pros:
- appears to be replayable with multiple characters
- really flexible story
- engaging side quests
- fun dialogue
- good soundtrack
Cons:
- short
- combat is medium
- map can feel sparse
The game opens with your brother's death and the burning of your homestead by an unnamed bandit and sets you out on a path to revenge, giving you a clue about the appearance of the perpetrator. However, it soon becomes clear that this functions as little more than a motivation to complete the large amount of varied side quests dotted around the map, as as you complete each quest your reward is another clue as to your targets appearance.
There's a variety of paths you can go down, and I was impressed by the complete flexibility given to the player - you can kill any NPC you want (or a quest wants you to) , sure, but that might mean that another NPCs quest will fall through, or people will be hostile to you.
The dialogue is fun and compelling, and the option to pull a gun on anyone at any point leads to some interesting intimidation options which may go astray.
The map is reasonably sized, with an overground and an underground, however parts of it feel barren and empty, filled with not plot relevant bandits whose fights seem to purely exist to pad out the game.
The movement in the game is fine, with useful fast travel options and a decent running speed. The combat is uninspired but largely not unfun - you may only fire left or right while being able to move in any direction, and mostly becomes a rhythm exercise of waiting for the right time to take your shot so that you are not shot by another enemy while you have end lag.
The "main plot" of the game is fairly weak, with you discovering the identity of your brother's killer, who could be any NPC in the town and accusing them, which leads to a final dungeon and boss fight. Not bad, just not interesting, though you get the impression that the game wants you to focus on all the side quests.
Pros:
- appears to be replayable with multiple characters
- really flexible story
- engaging side quests
- fun dialogue
- good soundtrack
Cons:
- short
- combat is medium
- map can feel sparse
This game is a promise I wish others built upon. A short story in an open-world that can diverge in wildly weird and amusing ways. It actively encourages players to poke and prod at its quests and characters in a silly cowboy-cliché world, and because a playthrough can be so short, you're encouraged to dive in over and over again.
It's a format I could see applied to so many different types of stories, worlds, and genres that to this day I'm surprised there isn't much more like it. But as it is it's a silly cowboy game that really amused me.
It's a format I could see applied to so many different types of stories, worlds, and genres that to this day I'm surprised there isn't much more like it. But as it is it's a silly cowboy game that really amused me.
BioShock Infinite
2013
if you ignore the hype leading up to its release and just go into it expecting a dumb linear FPS with a dumb story that thinks it's much smarter than it actually is and has terrible horseshoe-theory politics... it's actually not half bad
that final battle sucks though
that final battle sucks though
"wot if u were a boy with no personality but two hot babes fell in love with you because you were nice to them on the most basic level possible and also the hot babes were part of a marginalised group considered your property but it's ok it's not weird we promise they actually like that you are Their Master it's ok :)"
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.