GutterTrash
2024
a steve cutts cartoon for people who call themselves irony poisoned. some of the music was cool.
2024
very cool that this exists but are rhythm game fans just allergic to having good taste in music. i can find a dozen charts of any shitty anime opening but like nothing as far as anything actually good by a normal band or smthn, i dont get it. clone hero wins yet again
TBD
Demo impressions:
Obviously way better than the original. Cool cutscene direction and some occasionally cool shit in here but it's still ultimately YIIK. New battle system is interesting but I could imagine it being more shallow than it looks. Feels like it's trying too hard to be something like Killer7 at points. Overall giving a quizzical eyebrow raise out of ten. I could imagine the full game being good.
Obviously way better than the original. Cool cutscene direction and some occasionally cool shit in here but it's still ultimately YIIK. New battle system is interesting but I could imagine it being more shallow than it looks. Feels like it's trying too hard to be something like Killer7 at points. Overall giving a quizzical eyebrow raise out of ten. I could imagine the full game being good.
2017
ngl 2d sonic was always bad
2017
years ago i wrote a thing on here where i was like morally offended at the idea of jokes about yaoi. in current year when the fujos have all but won that war i would like to apologize for my brazenness.
this is still the lamest shit ever tho. the antithesis of everything i want out of "queer art" or whatever this is
this is still the lamest shit ever tho. the antithesis of everything i want out of "queer art" or whatever this is
Turboroko Path to Passion Fever: No review, I refuse.
2024
Incredible: Scientists invent second good roguelike.
Definitive proof that normal ass card games clear 99% of video games
Definitive proof that normal ass card games clear 99% of video games
2013
-get sucked into an idle game for a few days and check it constantly
-eventually get to the point where you prestige and start over with new benefits
-immediately lose all interest because youre back at the beginning
Many such cases!
-eventually get to the point where you prestige and start over with new benefits
-immediately lose all interest because youre back at the beginning
Many such cases!
2004
why tf is this game called "Queer Power" if it doesnt let you have gay sex. genuinely confused here
2021
gave it a shot but yeah this aint for me. basically all of those games designed with "speedrun brain" shit in mind (ultrakill, pizza tower, neon white, etc.) are not fun or interesting to me in any way so this is just another for the pile. nothing really wrong with it (besides looking really ugly) but its not something i could see myself coming back to ever
Shantae but good (actually this time)
Very cool how beyond just the cutscene style and spritework this retains a lot of the weird quirks of the zelda cdi games. Yknow, the objects you can never tell if are in the background or foreground, enemies needing different projectiles to kill, picking stuff up/talking to people with your sword, the shitty darkrooms, the weird jump feel, all while managing to play like an actual platformer instead of like a DVD menu. Multiple instances where I mistook a door I needed to go in to progress for a background detail, but god are those backgrounds a treat to look at, perfectly in line with how the originals look so cool. Plays alright, nothing really to write home about as far as metroidvania stuff goes, I do like how its segmented into a bunch of smaller levels rather than one sprawling map so you're never really lost for long. Probably couldve used more enemy variety but they're fine as an ends to a mean.
My biggest gripe's with the animation. Yeah, its funny and charming and does a good job replicating the original, but it just feels kinda off, like they got real close to that weird ass animation the ogs have but didn't get all the way. You watch those original faces of evil cutscenes and those weird fuckers never sit still, always bending and turning in random directions while they spout their nonsense. Arzette's animation often feels kinda stiff by comparison, doesn't have the same distinctly Soviet feel that the old ones have. Hardly a bad effort but I just think it couldve been a little better. Do like how little it feels like its winking to the audience about how goofy it is, good on them for playing it straight. I did clap and do they soyface when they said "Dinner" and "It burns", obviously.
also the hotel mario homage was cool but as far as im aware there's no reference to i.m. meen which they were fake for
Very cool how beyond just the cutscene style and spritework this retains a lot of the weird quirks of the zelda cdi games. Yknow, the objects you can never tell if are in the background or foreground, enemies needing different projectiles to kill, picking stuff up/talking to people with your sword, the shitty darkrooms, the weird jump feel, all while managing to play like an actual platformer instead of like a DVD menu. Multiple instances where I mistook a door I needed to go in to progress for a background detail, but god are those backgrounds a treat to look at, perfectly in line with how the originals look so cool. Plays alright, nothing really to write home about as far as metroidvania stuff goes, I do like how its segmented into a bunch of smaller levels rather than one sprawling map so you're never really lost for long. Probably couldve used more enemy variety but they're fine as an ends to a mean.
My biggest gripe's with the animation. Yeah, its funny and charming and does a good job replicating the original, but it just feels kinda off, like they got real close to that weird ass animation the ogs have but didn't get all the way. You watch those original faces of evil cutscenes and those weird fuckers never sit still, always bending and turning in random directions while they spout their nonsense. Arzette's animation often feels kinda stiff by comparison, doesn't have the same distinctly Soviet feel that the old ones have. Hardly a bad effort but I just think it couldve been a little better. Do like how little it feels like its winking to the audience about how goofy it is, good on them for playing it straight. I did clap and do they soyface when they said "Dinner" and "It burns", obviously.
also the hotel mario homage was cool but as far as im aware there's no reference to i.m. meen which they were fake for
1977
ngl i was kinda eatin up some of these. like when i got to the +5s? i finished that shit easy
i kinda fuck with the empty vibe of it too lol this games unironically spookier than any game that marketed itself as a "liminal horror" type thing.
i kinda fuck with the empty vibe of it too lol this games unironically spookier than any game that marketed itself as a "liminal horror" type thing.
The Master System will never have kino.
this gotta be the worst title for any game ever. why is the emphasis added on how high tech this world is when if anything the world's pretty low tech by this series standards. why isnt it just alex kidd in high tech world, why the colon. perhaps the lack of the word in was a covert way of telling us that this aint a real alex kidd game and i played it for nothing
1983
i couldnt identify any song in this besides dont stop believing. im a fake journey-head. anyway, to quote wikipedia:
"Although they have cartoon bodies, the faces of the members are shown as black-and-white photographs taken of the band while on tour. The photo technology was originally to be used in another game, which would take photos for the high scores. However, the game in question failed location testing when one player engaged in exhibitionism."
an incredibly uninteresting game with a bunch of weird shit surrounding it. just look up a playthough of it, you're not missing anything. need to meet the dude who presumably whipped his cock out at this midway location test
"Although they have cartoon bodies, the faces of the members are shown as black-and-white photographs taken of the band while on tour. The photo technology was originally to be used in another game, which would take photos for the high scores. However, the game in question failed location testing when one player engaged in exhibitionism."
an incredibly uninteresting game with a bunch of weird shit surrounding it. just look up a playthough of it, you're not missing anything. need to meet the dude who presumably whipped his cock out at this midway location test