1233 Reviews liked by Jenny


"will you play slide puzzle for fun?" NO. No sirree, never ever ever, dumb stupid idiot ! Sssshut up!!! Kill yourself!!!! Get hit by a train!!! Eat a dirty towel!!!!!!
"will you play slide puzzle for anime girl?" ZZZZNNKKKGRRHHHHHUHHH????? HOMINA-HOMINA-HOMINA-HOMINA-HOMINA - ZOO WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MAMA !!!! MAMAMIA MĂMĂLIGĂ MEE OH MY!!!!! ZOUNDS AND GADZOOKS!!! GEEEEE WILLICKERS!!!!!!!!

Pong

1972

Doesn't matter Uncle Ben, Fortnite better than both of them!

This is pretty much a nice and less challenging variation of the Contra formula, and it plays pretty well. This is a good game here, but I'd take any of the early Contra games over it anyday. Even on the Genesis, Contra Hard Corps easily tops it. Still, it's a fun one to play if you're a little burned out on the Contra series after playing them so much. This is easy to reccomend.

It's neat. Just the right length, some neat music, kinda nice to vibe out to. It avoids a lot of problems with its sequel, MW4, though it also doesn't reach the same heights that game does. Of all the MW games, this one probably hits the series niche of 'go from point A to point B while slashing things' the best. It does tend to be a bit barebones and slow by comparison to the others, though.
Also one of the enemy types is a pretty bad racial caricature. It's the only Wonder Boy that really does this and it's really jarring and gross.

Did you know that alongside popular games such as Yoshi’s Island DS, Final Fantasy VII and Counter Strike, it was revealed in the 2011 CIA files after the raid that Osama Bin Laden had a copy of Dyna Gears?

Disappointment after disappointment, when will I ever grow up? Every damn game I am underwhelmed, yet I seem to never learn. I will never love an entry in this series again, the magic that I experienced from days long past will never be seen or heard from again. Forever I am chained to this merchandise-pushing bulldozer of a franchise. Why does my childhood keep pestering me? Is it a curse? Why do I bother? Just let it die already.
Being someone whose username looks like it's based on Pokemon and formerly having an Eevee PFP for quite a while on here, it would feel like my take on seemingly the most divisive entry in the series yet will come off as something easily discarded. An open world game that is apparently super buggy and super empty? No way I could love it. It's a despicable game that would probably steal my dog's lunch money if it got the opportunity. I can't believe they would release such a broken game in 2022, etc, etc, yadda yadda. Whatever, you heard it all already.
Lend me your ears though... I loved this game.
As I lie here on my bed and rest myself on my Slowpoke pillow, I think to myself "is this a dream?". Not since the early days of playing on my purple Game Boy Color with my copy of Blue version have I felt this same feeling of grand adventure. The ability to go wherever I please without a completely nothing rival constantly challenging me at every other route, or having someone stop me from going down a certain route because they dropped their contact lens. Even the overworld trainers have grown to finally get some manners, and allow me to walk around freely without being demanded to waste my time fighting their crappy low level Scatterbug that wouldn't even give me a single XP point. Finally, a game that eschews all of that so that I may feel free. Free to experience the world of which I seem to never grow out of.
This is MY adventure.
The best part? This game will only get better for me. I played Violet in pretty much the worst way possible, via portable mode on my Switch. I experienced the worst frame rate drops possible, I experienced the worst pop-in, and despite all the doomer talk on Twitter....I never once experienced a crash or even one of the funny glitches or bugs. (may have helped that I bought it digitally) It turns out you can't trust judging your incoming experience based on what you see on the internet, especially when everyone everywhere can easily record stuff that happens to them in what might be the new best-seller in the entire universe. Personally, that stuff actually endears me more to this game. There's a clip of a Jigglypuff that flew off into space out there somewhere that's actually perfectly in-character, and would've made me laugh my ass off if I had experienced it in my own game. To say that I can't wait to replay this later on either a patched version, on better switch hardware or emulator would be an understatement. I cannot imagine how much I would love this once I experience it at a consistent frame rate.
Despite the tacky school uniform you're saddled with at the beginning, I found the setting very charming. Clothing options suffer thanks to it, but these are probably my favorite set of characters since Black/White. Mela having to move her legs like a robot because of her ridiculous boots is more fun and entertaining than anything Leon and his merchandise-moving Charizard did in the last game, and Arven is someone who I want to fight for to the very end. Don't talk to me or my cybernetic lizard motorcycle son again. The last 5% of this game goes beyond words in how much of a step up it is from Sw/Sh's wet fart of a climax.
They say an image speaks louder than words, but here it is.
Call me a fanboy, call me chopped liver. You could even call me late for dinner, but...I enjoyed myself immensely...and that's all that matters in the end.
It's then that I ask myself again, "is this a dream?"
No, the sky has not fallen.....no cats and dogs are not currently living together.... Pokemon Scarvy is my game of the year. This is reality, and I still can't fucking believe it.
Ten.
Years.
Ten whole years since B/W, and they finally do it again... holy shit.
I refuse to grow up.

I don't normally buy compilations of retro games, as I find they rarely justify their price tag versus simply downloading them for free and playing them through emulators or on a Retropie. However, the siren's call of "let's kick shell" tempted me for many weeks, and I finally caved and bought the Cowabunga Collection for the Playstation 5. Well, actually I bought it for five dollars less on the Playstation 4 and then used the free upgrade to get the Playstation 5 version, because I just had to see these 8 and 16-bit games in glorious 4k and wasn't enough of a rube to pay the mark-up on a box with the PS5 logo on it. Did you know you could just print a PS5 cover for free and slip that into the case? Wake up, sheeple!
Anyway, I think as far as compilations go, this one is pretty good! It has the usual bells and whistles, including various filters, borders, and other options to tweak the presentation to your liking, as well as custom strategy guides you can pull up on the fly and a slew of different per game modifies to further enhance the experience. It's a shame that some games lack modifiers that others have, like god mode or level select, but I imagine there's something on there with what they were capable of programming for each game.
You're also able to play a number of the included games online, though this is one thing The Cowabunga Collection really struggles with. For some reason, Turtles in Time and TMNT 2: The Arcade Game (NES) are both unavailable for online play, and while I understand that the NES version of TMNT2 is probably not popular enough to warrant its inclusion, Turtles in Time on the SNES is. In fact, I think it's up for debate whether or not it's better than the arcade version (I'm personally a Turtles centrist and think they break even, but I'll review them soon enough), so it's weird to me that they appear to be valuing one over the other. Also, matchmaking just kinda sucks! Even when playing over a wired connection I found the experience to be incredibly unstable, with insane amounts of lag and stuttering, enough to make these games virtually unplayable. This is a real bummer as being able to play online without having to fuck around with Retroarch's net play feature was probably the biggest draw for me and one of the main motivators I had for coughing up money on this, and I ended up thinking it's the weakest part of the whole package.
The bonus features, on the other hand, are great. There's some very high quality scans of box art and manuals for you to peruse along with screenshots from each season of the TV show (the TV show. You know which one I'm talking about. The others never happened. Except the live action one. That did, Venus is real.) The menus and presentation for the entire package is fantastic, I really like the incorporation of the original Mirage comics in the main menus, and the Turtles' lair for the bonus content looks terrific.
Ultimately, I don't think any of the features in the Cowabunga Collection make this worth picking up over emulating these games outside of convenience. I know some people don't want to put the time into even getting an SNES emulator up and running let alone MAME. If you count yourself as part of that crowd or just want to give Konami of all companies your hard earned money, then I think this collection is pretty solid and worth dropping about 20$ on.

+platforming and handling is definitely ahead of most early genesis titles, thanks to tighter control, a light physics system, and the ability for chuck to flutter in the air to nail tight jumps. a particular touch I like is that when running off ledges, chuck does full cartooney coyote time where he continues to run on air before freaking out and attempting to get back
+some lovely fm synth tracks here, with no grating noises or what-not
+the amount of special items that can be used for buffs or special attacks at a moment's notice is smart, even if the implementation in a menu is a bit cumbersome. it would be interesting to see a version of this game with a 6-button controller to alleviate this
+boss design is much more forgiving overall than contemporaries, though a couple have truly frustrating projectiles.
+I was worried I would dislike the "find the important item in the third stage of each area to progress" gimmick, but it actually adds some much-needed spice. the item is usually out of the way but not too out of the way, and it encourages light exploration in a positive way
-throwing the head is a neat idea but you get it so rarely and lose it so quickly. would've made more sense to lose it on death instead of just getting hit once
-much to my surprise, there is persistance in the level objects, from breakable blocks to items to temporary platforms. this is good in some cases (keeping you from having to break through walls after dying or letting you know which item capsules you've already searched) but overall is a bit of a drawback. the big issue here is that later levels often require you to make your way on falling blocks across insta-death hazards, and after a certain number of retries you'll likely not have any of these platforms left. it also prevents you from getting heads, items, or most crucially health drops after you've found the boon once, making retries more taxing. while persistance would be great in a platformer this old, the implementation was not done well
-certain enemies just are not built for chuck to deal with, since you get no knockback on enemies when you hit them. there are multiple that both move fast and take multiple hits, and there's no good way to stop them in their tracks without expending items. on that note: the ghosts that hide in the item capsules are absolutely infuriating
it feels like basically every design choice in this game is novel or forward-thinking for the time but implemented in such a way that it detracts from the experience. it's a shame too, as the core design here is significantly better than most other genesis games of the time, and gives a non-sega flair to the action game scene on the system. it's definitely worth trying a couple levels, or messing around with the much cuter magical hat game that is similar to this in japan on the mega drive.

Would be a very good game if the funny mummy man didn't have fucking Kid Kool physics

Disgusting: I just saw Captain Falcon punch Princess Zelda so hard she flew in a pink streak of lighting right out of the Pokemon gym. Hey Cap, your misogyny is showing!