The game starts, a voice pipes up, subtitle reads "Nara: I'm Nara", and I do a little laugh and point at the screen like "that's Nara".

In this game, you play as Nara. Except Nara is actually on the sofa next to you, nudging you in the ribs with whispered hints, following up every piece of dialogue with whispered speculation about what's really going on, whisperingly pointing out things you might have missed. It's like if someone made a game about themselves, then sat with you and whispered at you as you played it to make sure you enjoyed it. It's a special edition blu-ray of a pseudo-intellectual space blockbuster, with a mandatory in-character whispered commentary track. I just paused a cutscene to mutter "please shut the fuck up" at the TV and figured I might as well stop there and write here instead.

Space combat is fine, though dogfighting usually devolves into playing chicken with the enemy as they fly towards you, guns blazing. I hear it gets a bit more interesting, but let's face it: Star Fox Zero is still king.

Think the main issue is it's all just a bit boring. Blank, empty, space.

Also the text is way too small! Should the guy with the $600 TV not be able to read the menus? COME ON!