Harold Halibut is a very technically impressive (when its not bugging out or dropping frames) feat, which unfortunately puts its gorgeous claymation style and cinematography in service of an overwritten, overindulgent miserable slog which might have been refreshing were it a fifth of its length instead of the overbearing wank we got instead.

Wank is the operative word here, the game is spiritually similar to jerking off. It takes inspiration from various sources, wes anderson films chief among them, but from what few films I have seen of those, they were much more entertaining and well written. The sheer nothingness of the gameplay even for narrative focused adventure games and amount of dialogue that was 3 lines too long for what it needed to be really fits together when you learn about the game's 10 year development time. This is someone's baby, presumably a labour of love, but thats the thing, sometimes you need to detach yourself emotionally from your work and cut things when they don't actually add anything. The most damning thing of all, after all that, 8 goddamned hours (it felt twice that) I feel nothing. The game is nothing. I am nothing. We're all nothing. And I have 8 fewer hours now before I return to the nothingness of oblivion with little to show for it.

The boys are back in town, one last time.

Mega Man X 8 could not exist without the front flip into the dirt that was Mega Man X 7. X8 feels in every way like what X7 should have been. I don’t want to say that it was an apology for X7, but the amount of things they got right here is like they’re overcompensating.

The most important lesson learned from X7 is keeping it 2D. I don’t necessarily think that Mega Man X NEEDS to be a strictly 2D game series, but the way X7 botched it means they weren’t ready for it yet. With X8, they played it safe and stuck with what they knew and for whatever that’s worth, it’s a better game for it.

The biggest reason for this is there is no targeting system to accommodate three dimensional play. You shoot right in front of you, simple as that. This gives Axl, a character I loathed to play as in X7, a more interesting playstyle. To set him apart from X, his weapons have analogue aiming. Due to his stop-and-pop combat and lack of heavy damage, I still don’t find him to be nearly as viable or fun as X or Zero. I find that stop-and-pop style to be pretty antithetical to Mega Man as a whole but hey, he’s got something besides “X but way worse” so I’m happy for him I guess. He’s still a Scrappy Doo ass character though.

X is as reliable and fun to play as ever, and his new Neutral Armor brings back the toyetic nature of the X series in full force. The Neutral Armor is a blank slate (looks pretty cool too, I like the “collar” that comes up high enough to cover his mouth) that you can mix and match parts from the attack-focused Icarus set (the red one) and the mobility-focused Hermes set (the blue one). The customizability of the Neutral Armor is one of my favorite things about this game. The gunpla-ness of the X Armors has reached its endgame, you can literally kitbash the Neutral Armor into something that fits your playstyle. This is of course made pointless by the secret Ultimate Armor having the best of both armors, but if you’re not using a code, you can’t get that armor without beating the game first.

To round up the cast of playable characters, X8’s treatment of Zero is proof of the Mega Man X’s series’ head over heels love for that guy. It’s not misplaced love, he’s a cool guy. This is also the best Zero has been handled in any of the Mega Man X games. Every skill you learn from a boss is naturally incorporated into his moveset, and it isn’t something like adding an air dash or a double jump (Zero starts the game with those things). They sat down and looked at Zero’s kit and asked what could be added to it, rather than taken away and given back. Furthermore, nothing feels clumsily added either, like taking one of X’s weapons and just giving it to Zero. He’s always been a solid character to play as, but X8 gives us the most polished Zero in any game he shows up in. Except maybe Marvel vs. Capcom 3…

Anyways

The toy box nature of Mega Man X does not stop with X’s kitbash armor, no. Not by a long shot. Zero gets himself a whole arsenal of weapons to play with. From a hammer to battle fans, each weapon has a signature move tied to one of the boss skills. The brass knuckles turning most of the skills into a Street Fighter move is very fun and I like it. But the D Glaive. Oh, the D Glaive. What a weapon. Named from the Hindu goddess of motherhood and war, the Durga Glaive is Zero’s best non-New Game+ weapon for its sheer range alone. This weapon turns Zero into a long range fighter. Spamming the jump slash is enough to take out entire rooms of enemies. There are certain parts of the game where optimal play is needed to get a reward and the D Glaive is the tool for the job. Its so satisfying to swing this thing around. It’s too good. I’m glad the D Glaive is there because the hammer is kinda dumb.

The weapons and armor are just a fraction of things to find in the levels of this game, there is a buffet of upgrades and goodies to get your hands on and then buy in the in-game shop. You’ll be backtracking, you’ll be resetting because you missed something, you’ll be farming for cash at Earthrock Trilobite's level. It’s maybe an artificial extension on the game, but it’s a good enough game that I’ll take any excuse to spend more time with it. Doing Avalanche Yeti’s stage more than once is pretty stupid though! It’s not a great level!

To save yourself a bit of time, I recommend getting the D Glaive from Dark Mantis’ stage as soon as you can (you’ll need to beat Gigavolt Man-O-War first, another not great level) and then clear Optic Sunflower’s stage as best as you can to get the Metal Generator for a steady flow of cash as you go through the game.

Alright I’ve waited long enough, I’ve said enough good things about this game. It’s time for my biggest gripe about Mega Man X 8.

I don’t like the visual style. Everyone looks weird. Axl comes out relatively unscathed but good lord X and Zero look extruded and maligned. The classic bell-bottom boots that Mega Man founded are gone. X’s buster is too busy, he has gray on his boots where it wasn’t needed. The “ear” parts of his helmet have the letter “X” incorporated into it, a design move I really don’t agree with. He looks more cylindrical, I hate it. And Zero? Oh, the massacred my boy. You look at him for a second and everything looks fine, but then he turns around and his beautiful flowing hair has been reduced to a thin dangling rat tail. What where they thinking???

It should be said though that this game is solid enough to make me forget about my misgivings with the visual style. The game is rendered well, I just wish there was a mod that made the boys look more Classic.

Speaking of the boys, I think it’s nice that you can eventually play as the girls, your navigators that have been yapping in your ear the whole game. Layer is very good and I like her and it’s insane that they got away with her body-stocking-underboob design.

I have beaten Mega Man X 8 three times and 100%ed it at least one of those times. I thoroughly enjoyed latest playthrough, though I’m willing to admit that was because I had just come off of Mega Man X 7. I’m also willing to admit that X8 has enough merit to be enjoyable without having to put yourself through torture beforehand.

I recommend Mega Man X 8. Take your time with it, because lord knows we won’t get another one any time soon.

Actually a pretty amazing game, and can only assume it's hard-to-describe distance from the first four is why it's rated so much lower. There are aspects here I believe to be straight-up more effective than any other Silent Hill, then there are things that are entirely absent, like the horror and combat. I think this is the first time I wished that this wasn't a video game or didn't have to be a Silent Hill, for the enhanced freedom to drink up the environment made the exploration segments feel like watching a Lynch film. Having an American team, to me, made the environment genuinely feel American. I've been to places that look exactly like these locales! I can fill in their smells and see the phantoms of where people would be. The decay and desolation felt more real to me, more effectively liminal. Other than the shitty reveal, this may also be the best-written Silent Hill (dialogue and character-wise, the semiotics were weak). I spent the whole game speculating Harry's role, thinking he abandoned his daughter and ultimately destroyed both of them. I thought for a bit that Dahlia was Cheryl at her absolute lowest, hooking up with her father without either realizing it. Shit left a lot of room for speculation, and I really wish they didn't lay all their cards out. All these broken women coming in and out of Harry's life, all of which you get to choose if you be creepy towards or respect certain boundaries, I felt was building towards a greater reveal. The ice-otherworld sequences I could've done without. By the second time, it had already become confusing and unmemorable. Luckily they don't take up that much of the game. The atmosphere really is such a boon to making the experience feel terrific. There were a few points where I just stared at the side of a building, letting Best Game Composer work his magic on me. I read every sign the PS2 gave a decent resolution to and got disappointed every time I accidentally progressed before getting to check every single corner for details. What else... Michelle and Dahlia had killer fits, and apparently they change off your behaviour? Really cool. Also a little disappointing that all the therapy mini-games just led to a pretty general ending and a meaningless astrology reading, but I don't know how much was reasonable to expect. They were engaging, which is the best I can ask for. I'd heard it did a lot more with it's psychology mechanics, and was expecting it to, than it actually felt like it did. The ways it does utilize them, however, I found very fun. By no means a masterpiece, definitely worth playing, at least to hang out in.

-''I'm a bit nervous''

-''Me too!''

They say as their killer smiles aren't even fazed. That's the kind of attitude I aspire to have when setting off dangerous explosives.

Frog Detective 1 is the perfect example of that breed of videogames I like to refer as ''candy games''; shorter and more laid-back experiences more focused on the adventure of meeting people, doing silly stuff and the interactions that come from it. Or in other, simpler words, lil' goofy treats.

This right here is that entire base idea made into a game. It’s basically just a stroll across this not-so-spooky islands and the interacting with the scientists to solve the most daunting case to ever be, and it’s cute! There are some pretty charming interactions here and there, some funnier than others for sure — Larry and Martin had the best moments by far—, tho overall they felt a bit repetitive at times and at worst some bits felt a bit awkward in a non-intentional way. The style of comedy it goes for isn’t anything new but at its best it really knows how to pull some novel or really funny bits, I just wish some others landed better.

And that’s about it, honestly!!! Aside from dialogue, the other thing you can do is to explore the island and use your magnifying glass for the fun of it, and as much as I love using a fish-eye lens in some of these Muppet looking motherfuckers, it also gets old fast. It’s an idea for more possible visual gags that aren’t explored further, which is how I feel about many other moments in this short mystery. The mouse doesn’t even get to break-dance at the end! What a ripoff!

It's hard for me to get even a bit grumpy about it, and if I started saying that I wished it was more ‘in-depth’ would be straight up silly. It’s a tale about a frog detective, plain and simple, and the enjoyment you’ll get out of it will entirely depend on how much you get charmed by it.

It doesn’t last long, it isn’t much, but it is sweet… just like a piece of candy!

It's hard for me to really describe Wolfenstein: The New Order as one thing. It's one of the finest cinematic action/adventures I've ever played, one of the most remarkable series reboots in gaming history, one of the least objectionable power fantasies ever created, and excels as a set-piece shooter all at once.

I don't think it's a stretch to say that many shooters in the early-to-mid 2010s were set-piece shooters directly inspired by Call of Duty. But Wolfenstein gets something those games don't: it allows it itself to be goofy while taking itself seriously. It's a gritty story told in an inarguably silly world, and the dichotomy of the two makes for moments that stuck with me for so long that they were the main reason I wanted to play through it again recently. The main cast of Wolfenstein is more fleshed out than it has any right to be. Some of that character development happens more through optional biographies that the game gives, but the way that each character is written and acted leaves a lot to the imagination in a good way. A lot of what makes all of this so interesting is that this is a cutscene-heavy game where the cutscenes are fun to watch. Wolfenstein isn't a soapy piece of televised drama; instead, choosing to play more like a campy exploitation film with plenty of style to spare. When the game wants you to feel like the main character you're playing as kicks-ass, it makes you feel like a badass for choosing to play as him. But aside from being the strongest man alive and having a pretty questionable name, B.J. Blazowicz is given a surprising amount of depth here. You hear his inner thoughts frequently, which humanizes him in moments that would have otherwise felt corny. You are playing as an unstoppable killing machine, the likes of which Doom guy would share a beer with at Dominic Torreto's dinner table. But you are also playing as a flawed, wounded soul, and it's done with such genuine intent that it's hard to laugh at. When you're not watching the cutscenes, though, The New Order offers up enough variety in its stages and combat to rarely feel dull. The stand-out feature here is the ability to dual-wield everything: pistols, machine guns, shotguns, sniper rifles, and even knives. You can dual-wield knives. There's no practical reason to do so, and the game doesn't do anything with it. But who cares? It's awesome and totally in line with the absurd world Machinegames has created. There are also alternate fire modes for some of the weapons in your arsenal, namely, shrapnel rounds for your shotguns, rocket launchers for your machine guns, and the ability to turn your sniper rifles into laser guns. And yes, that means you can dual-wield rocket launchers that then turn into machine guns on a whim. I do feel like the system could be streamlined a bit: it took me a good six hours before I realized that changing the mode on one gun didn't change it on another. But otherwise, it's a fantastic system and adds a lot to the gameplay. I wish that Wolfenstein II pushed the envelope further and allowed you to dual-wield two different weapons at once, but that's a conversation for another day.

Of course, as much as I love The New Order, there are a couple of things that stop it from being perfect. For one, the perks system is something that sounds good on paper, but is a bit hokey in practice. Incentivizing different playstyles by rewarding the player for partaking in each one sounds good until you realize that the player either isn't informed that they're making progress or isn't making progress because they didn't use the exact systems that the game wanted them to. What's the difference between using the lean button while you're taking cover to peak a shot at someone and hitting the aim button to make the game do it for you? If you ask the game designers, it's the difference between a participation award and a blue ribbon. What's so frustrating about that is that the cover system in The New Order is just... okay? It's great at telling when you want to aim up, but it struggles with anything that isn't in that direction. If you want to aim to the right from cover or aim beneath it, the lean button is a consistent solution. If you're hoping to use the automatic cover system, it means aiming in a very specific location and hoping that moving an inch doesn't throw the game off. But okay, maybe you can adjust to that. The perk system is incredibly easy to cheese. Let me put it this way: your progress doesn't reset when you die. Like the rest of the system, that sounds fantastic! Running into sections that are too hard for you doesn't set you back and may even reward you. But two obvious downsides cripple this interpretation: one, several of the perks reward doing things in numbers rather than doing them at all. Kill fifty enemies with X gun, or throw X knives and Y amount of enemies. There are a couple that are pretty smart and offer a good amount of challenge, like "kill three enemies with two machine guns without ever releasing the fire button." But they pale in comparison to the number of perks that simply require you to do a lot of the same thing. This inevitably leads to the second issue that bogs this system down. See, you could earn perks by playing through the game, or you can find specific checkpoints that meet the right criteria, do it once, reload the checkpoint, and then do it until you have the perk. The latter is more beneficial and allows you to go after more bonuses than the former does because it means you're more actively seeking the reward out. In so many words, it's a system that feels like a complete afterthought.

Aside from those things, stealth in this game is absurdly busted--albeit in a way that's more amusing than anything else. I love the way that throwing knives turn enemies into liquid and how the silenced pistol makes a lot of this game feel trivial. I could sneak around and preform a stealth takedown on the guy that can call in reinforcements, or I could take out my silenced pistol and headshot him from across the map without anyone seeing me. Like a lot of the things in The New Order that aren't shooting guys and partaking in epic set-pieces or watching cutscenes, it feels underdeveloped. A lot of the risk factor that I love in stealth games simply isn't present here. But also in line with everything else, it's so gleefully out-there that it's hard to look away from. It's not just unbalanced or undercooked, it celebrates both and I am here for it.

The thing that seals all of the things I like a lot (and don't so much) about this game is just how it looks. I'm not much of a graphics person, but occasionally, this game looks artistic, and no, I'm not saying that because it sounds smart. If you want a good example of what I'm talking about, this moment, in particular, had my jaw on the floor: https://i.imgur.com/Myil3EE.jpeg

The game loves to share its concept art with you, and honestly, I can say that it's warranted here. Slightly muddy textures aside, the art direction is superb from all angles and brings the world to life in stunning ways. The New Order is a decent case for the point that while graphics may not be everything, they can enhance an experience. But moreso, it drives home the point that art direction matters a lot more, much further. It's a fascinating intersection between the two.

Overall, I have to say that The New Order is pretty damn good. I liked it but didn't love it when I first beat it on my PS4 but playing it again recently opened my eyes, and I have to say that it's easily become one of my all-time favorites in this genre.

VERY unique idea for a 3D platformer collectathon. Not having a traditional jump opens up so many possibilities, and I think this game takes full advantage of that. The controls take a little bit to get used to, but once you get it, you GET it. Only complaints are that getting 100% seems like a chore, and some gears (stars, basically) are a little too out of reach and expect a really deep understanding of the game's mechanics, which isn't inherently a bad thing, but it isn't very casual friendly.

It's good, actually.

I'm someone that got really disappointed, frustrated and baffled with Wolfenstein II, and even though this game is still not what I wanted, I was able to really enjoy it for what it is.

Playing with my bestie, and even doing some offline play, there was a good amount of fun to be had. The level design was handled by Arkane and as such we have very open ended, but not outright open world, levels, with lots of shortcuts, items to find and different encounters to get into.

Most of the game will be spent doing side content instead of the 5 story missions at hand, but I really didn't mind cause that's where the strenght is this time instead of the story. The gunplay is nearly identical to Wolfenstein II except now placed in levels that aren't frustratingly small or unfair, and while you can't dual wield as many guns, the upgrade system (which isn't actually grindy) can make any gun very reliable, especially the machinepistol and shotgun, so that it isn't missed at all.

The RPG mechanics in this game aren't actually that deep. Some enemies will not scale to your level from below so you need to get some level ups before getting to certain encounters, but you always have the option of finding an alternative route or taking them down with some more challenge. Leveling up actually doesn't take much effort, and even just running around shooting anything will net you some good XP. The guns are upgraded with currency you find or get from completing missions and you get more than enough to have a decent arsenal in the first couple of hours. What's most important is getting your skill points and weapon upgrade coins spent, you don't even have to think too much about it, just look at what you like and get it. As long as you actually upgrade whatever, enemies will not become bullet sponges and the game actually remains fairly balanced.

Something very worth noting is that everything scales for each player independently, both on their level and difficulty setting, so asides from those few encounters with enemies that have set levels, playing with someone that's not on your same level will not drag you down, this feature is actually extremely well implemented and I'm surprised it's never mentioned.

The big thing where this game fails in comparison to other Wolfenstein games as of late is story, but really not due to "cringy" protagonists (I really thought they were fine, and way less annoying than any real teenager I'm likely to find), but simply due to it being a very straightforward and short plot. That's really my only big complaint, the story could have been better, but it's not nearly as terrible as Wolfenstein II's (seriously, THAT should be your example of tone inconsistency making things hard to take seriously).

I guess I should mention the microtransactions too, and I'll just say, they're so easy to forget while you're just playing and are never in your face. Very few select items are tied to it, none of them relevant to progression. CAPCOM has been doing way worse on their singeplayer games for years, so if they can do that I just find this case very inoffensive.

I quite enjoyed playing this, both with a friend and alone, and certainly think it's worth at least a run on especially with how cheap it usually goes for on sales now. I think people are too harsh on it because it's not Wolfenstein III, but it's at least way more consistent than II with decent level design, an actual final boss, and characters that aren't pissing on New Order with their writing. I actually hope Wolfenstein III adopts the more open ended design and considers a lighter tone like found here if they're still gonna go with what II was doing. Either way, please chill, this game wasn't made to replace Wolfenstein III and it's not the future of the series like many wanted to assume it was just to be angrier at it.

“But, since we're all gonna die, there's one more secret I feel I have to share with you: I did not care for The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.”

“What?”

“Did not care for Wind Waker.”

“How can you even say that, Dad?”

“Didn't like... didn't like it.”

“Peter, it's so good. It's like the perfect adventure game.”

“This is what everyone always says whenever...”

“Eiji Aonuma, Takashi Tezuka... I mean, you never see... Koji Kondo!”

“I know. Great, great composer. Did not like the game.”

“Why not?”

“Couldn't get into it.”

“Explain yourself. What didn't you like about it?”

“It insists upon itself, Lois.”

“What?”

“It insists upon itself.”

“What does that even mean?”

“'Cause it has a valid point to make, it's insistent!”

“It takes forever getting in, and then you go through this really terrible stealth section, and then, I can't even get through it. I can't even finish the game. I've never even seen the ending.”

“You've never seen the ending?!”

“How can you say you don't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?”

“I agree with Stewie. It's not really fair.”

“I have tried, on three separate occasions, to get through it, and I... I get to the part where you have to power up the Master Sword…”

“Yeah. That's a great part. I love that scene.”

“It's noted in every annal.”

“And you’re just going from place to place through the dungeons. Like, it’s really repetitive and the stuff you’re doing isn’t that interesting. That's why I lose interest and I go away.”

“It’s giving you freedom of exploration!”

“It’s offering you a wonderous adventure through a magical world, something you don't understand.”

“I love Link’s Awakening. That is my answer to that statement.”

“Exactly.”

“Well, there you go.”

“Whatever.”

“I like that game, too.”

If you squeeze this lemon hard enough, you will find the razor blades within it.

In the scope of a single playthrough, 2000’s Mega Man X 5 is a Fine game. It’s Fine. It doesn’t live up to the game that came right before it (and it definitely doesn’t live up to the first Mega Man X), but it is Fine. It’s playable and feels decent in the hands and there’s some good music, and there’s things to collect and you can switch between X and Zero whenever you want, it’s Fine. These are all things that would entice me if I read them on the back of the game’s box. It’s Fine.

Something interesting (or irritating) about the game is the “time limit” it gives you. In the story, there’s a space colony that’s about to collide with the earth, and the world’s only hope is a massive cannon that hasn’t been used in years. You have 16 in-game “hours” to make the upgrade the Enigma Cannon and increase its chances of destroying the space colony. Four of the eight bosses in the game have those upgrades, and an “hour” will pass when you leave Maverick Hunter HQ and return from the level, so you have to be deliberate with where you go. The other four Mavericks have parts to upgrade a space shuttle to collide with the colony in the event the cannon fails. Actually, I should take back what I said, not all of the bosses are technically Mavericks. They just have the item and X or Zero asks nicely for it and a lot of the time the boss challenges them to a fight because it’ll be fun, or it’s the way the world works. It’s a funny way to wedge conflict into the situation, but it makes X especially look all to eager to get in a fight, when if you have played any other Mega Man X game, you’d know he wants the fighting to end. Regardless, the time limit is a novelty that I personally find interesting.

The mild character assassination of X could be due to a lot of things, but a lot of fingers point to the localization team. It happened with Mega Man 7, why not Mega Man X 5? I won’t spend too much time complaining about it though, because I feel like there’s too many unsavory people using bad localization as fuel for their grifts, and they might see this and think I’m a mark or something. All I’ll say is if my girlfriend changed the names of a bunch of video game characters to names of the members of my favorite band, and it shipped nationwide, I’d make sure her feet never touched the ground lmao. What a flex. Need me a freak like that.

But anyway.

So you beat the game, and it was Fine, but you only beat it as one of the two playable characters. So you start a new file and now things are different. Instead of a portion of the colony being destroyed, the Enigma Cannon only grazes it. And then the space shuttle does minimal damage, the space colony crashes into Earth and Zero becomes a Maverick. Now you can no longer play as him. Hopefully this wasn’t your playthrough where you invested hearts and upgrades into him.

Despite how it feels to me, Mega Man X 5 only has three endings. A good ending for X and Zero (assuming everything went well and Zero did not go Maverick) and a bad ending for X (assuming Zero went Maverick). The amount of variables in the middle of the game makes it feel like it’s twice as big and involved as it really is. The cannon could fail but the shuttle succeeds, and vice versa. It becomes intimidating and annoying.

Well, if you just play it once it isn’t so bad. It’s a regular Mega Man X game with a slight twist. It’s Fine.

But you might be like me and you like Mega Man X. As simple as they are, you care about the characters and want to know the few lines of text that happens to them. And in order to do that, you have to play the game at least three times. And playing this game three times is where the pain sets in.

The Pain in question:

-Volt Kraken’s stage is excessively long and can kill you in the first few seconds if you blink at the wrong time.
-Tidal Whale’s autoscroller stage takes forever, and lining up the Goo Shaver shot to get the Falcon Armor body program is really tedious and one mistake could have you resetting, to prevent using up an hour of in-game time.
-You have to beat Tidal Whale and come back again to use Goo Shaver to get the Falcon Armor body program, which uses up an extra hour of in-game time.
-It’s called Goo Shaver.
-The Falcon Armor doesn’t charge Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor doesn’t even let you use Special Weapons.
-The Gaea Armor is terrible.
-There are life upgrades that can only be gotten with the useless Gaea Armor, which means Zero can’t get those upgrades.
-Shadow Devil is a stupefyingly hard challenge out of no where and then the game does not match that difficulty anywhere afterwards.
-The final boss alludes to Dr. Wily from the Classic series still being alive, but the game provides no concrete proof of this.

I know this pain all too well, because in order to get every medal in the Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2, I had to play this game countless times. I forgot how many times I’ve beaten it. I just remember how painful and annoying the game can be. I remember the razor blades in the lemon.

I don’t think you should play Mega Man X 5, but as one in a series that depressingly, gradually gets worse, it’s not the worst one in the bunch. A Mega Man X fan should play this the one time and then look up the other endings online. Save yourself the trouble.

The art is pretty nice, some silly little tricks pulled with the occasional fake pop-ups and the movement/renaming of the window that I think are pretty neat. Knuckles shows up for a couple minutes, calls you a bitch, Ray the Flying Squirrel is also there for some reason, who knows. Mediocre game, and I'm sure whatever's coming up in the (uncertain) future of this game will be interesting to see. I'd like to use this review for something a little more, though. I just want to talk about the "EXE" concept as a whole.

Obviously, we all know who to thank for this dumbass's resurgence, and while that's a whole tale of its own that I do not want to get into, it's been genuinely intriguing to see the rat come back after over half a decade, this suddenly, and this strongly. While I had completely forgotten about the creepypasta a couple years after it's time, there was still a niche, devoted community that was creating and writing all sorts of different stories and monsters under the executable moniker. A devout fanbase for what's generally agreed upon to be one of the worst horror stories of its kind, I just think it's fascinating.

Hell, to this day, I'm still hearing of new hogs or foxes just in passing. There has been so much more added not only to the original story, but to the ever expanding roster of characters. I'll provide a link just to let everyone see what I'm talking about, and while yes, they can't all be winners, and they certainly can't all be much to gawk over since, at the forefront of it all, it's still Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's... fun. It is legitimately fun just taking the time to read other people's ideas and looking over the designs to see what they can come up with off of these zany characters. That's what Sonic is! He's a simple, fun character that people have experimented with for years just for the hell of it! Ignore whatever preconceived notions you have of the community or the character and just have fun with your own imagination!

In the midst of my 1am ramblings, I decided to give it a go myself and say "fuck it, i'll make my own." She sits inside emulated copies of Sonic Advance 2 and mourns the fact that she hasn't been in an actual Sonic game in a decade. If there's any more I feel like adding to this, I might come back to it later. For now, though, this was half shitpost, half me testing myself to see if I knew how to draw Sonic characters at all. Turned out better than I was expecting, and I enjoyed drawing it.



... oh, yeah, the game i'm reviewing. uhh 3/10, i guess.

For starters, I was not expecting myself to have binge this game so soon after buying the game.

FF7 was not the first game I was originally intending to play in this series but I couldn't help still wanting to play it due to recommendations from friends and as rebirth has just came out.

What I hadn't expect though was a story, so entrenched in so many ideas that I think it reasons that it stands the test of time. From the beginning, insinuating a anti-corporation stance with Barret and Avalanche, it truly immerses you to midgar.

What this game does with it's protagonist has to be one of the most touching story I've seen in gaming. Cloud's character paved the way for a lot of my favourite characters in some shape or form, but that's not even the full brunt on what makes me appreciate him. His inspirations and insecurities are at the heart of the story. They somehow managed to trick me multiple times in terms of reveals that one its all said and done, it does so in such a profound and human way.

It feels like a triumph in storytelling and video games and I'm genuinely happy I got to experience this classic to it's fullest.