Off I go to dig out my Xbox 360 so I can play a version of this that doesn’t crash every ten minutes. The parts of this game that work do seem as wonderful and quirky as everyone says.

The game Daikatana wishes it was

At its best, art gives you the tools to discover vital, hitherto unknown things about yourself. For example playing this made me realise that visual novels do nothing for me. The writing is good but I can’t even conceptualise how amazing it would have to be for me to not notice I’m “playing” a video game where I spam Enter to speed read dialogue and periodically chose a dialogue option. To quote Austin Powers, it’s not my bag baby.