if i was at the arcade i think i wouldve just spent $400 in quarters on one arcade playthrough. thankfully i stole this and didnt support anybody involved, and in fact i hope the AI designer went bankrupt after this project and may it never see a sequel
David Cage might be a genius.
That's not to say he's a good writer, God forbid, but rather that he is an incredible entertainer. The sheer clownery that is this game's core premise is almost too much to bear at times, and yet it manages to completely grab my attention. I started this game on a whim hoping to laugh at it, and ended up playing from start to finish.
This is because this game is broken up into three segments, each with VASTLY different quality, keeping the pace up quite nicely. Connor's story, as I'm absolutely positive you know, is far and away the best. It's the only story in this game that I would actually go as far as to say is extremely well written. The relationship between Connor and Hank is extremely compelling and - for me - nervewracking. The dichotomy between them is so perfect that every second spent on these portions is bliss, and every decision not only made me think about what to do for the sake of what happened around me, but dread how it would affect my relationship with Hank. Every choice being a new challenge to face and every interaction with Hank being insightful to his character, simply entertaining to watch thanks to Clancy Brown and Bryan Dechart's performances and the truly, truly quality writing on display for the both of them. The whole game could have been this, and it would be David Cage's masterpiece. Unfortunately, it wasn't. He put Markus in the game.
Markus's portions are bad. They're awful. Every character met has little to no character in their body (almost as if they were robots,) and Markus himself can change personalities on a whim since his "backstory" is flimsy at best. Naturally, this segment has the most impact on the story at large. All is well, though, because it is hilarious. This is the David Cage I was looking for. Markus felt like such a non-entity that being given the freedom to do anything I want with the world and just about 0 consequences was truly liberating and lead to some of my hardest guffaws in the entire playthrough. Seeing such a melodramatic and stupid story that shouldn't even exist unfold into chaos when my benevolent and godlike hands get to hold the reigns of it is truly a wonderful time, and it, too, I wholly recommend to behold.
Kara could not be in this game and nothing would change.
Overall, this game continues to cement David Cage as a staple of the shitty interactive game industry, and I truly don't know where we'd be without him. I sincerely hope he does not make movies because while he is sometimes capable of really reaching the stars, even his blunders are extremely worthwhile entertainment. God speed you clown prince of crap
Also David, did you see what I did there? I spent more time on characters the more interesting they were, and less time when they sucked and nobody cares. Just a little tip from one novice to another
this is one of the most befuddling games I've honestly played in a while.
heisenberg sounded like snagglepuss.
the tall lady was barely in it (thank GOD)
that one fight with the propeller guy looked like a boss from Saw: The Video Game seriously what the hell was that
this ending absolutely implies the continuation of the Resident Evil Cycle and RE9 is 100% going to have double jumps and wall running