Um um uh uhh i ran out of time pretend theres something funny here plz sorry
Personal Ratings


Well Written

Gained 10+ likes on a single review


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GOTY '22

Participated in the 2022 Game of the Year Event


Gained 3+ followers


Played 250+ games


Played 100+ games

Favorite Games

Portal 2
Portal 2
LEGO Universe
LEGO Universe
Super Scribblenauts
Super Scribblenauts
Kirby Super Star Ultra
Kirby Super Star Ultra
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Yakuza: Like a Dragon


Total Games Played


Played in 2023


Games Backloggd

Recently Played See More

Shadows Over Loathing
Shadows Over Loathing

Dec 29


Dec 25

Kirby: Planet Robobot
Kirby: Planet Robobot

Dec 23

Recently Reviewed See More

This review contains spoilers

I had a lot of fun playing this game. Really, I did. Most of the content in this game is just better than it's predecessor, despite how much of it was just copied over. But I won't bother to describe this part though because there's just way too much to talk about, and I want to address something else first. That being the story. Or rather, how empty, meaningless, and downright awful it is.
There is no substance to the story. Practically any and all thought in this game was seemingly put into anything that WASNT the story, as it's clear that what we got was probably a first draft that they never bothered to do anything with. Now don't get me wrong, the side content is great and all, but there is next to nothing redeemable about the main story. It is the most mind-nummingly pointless and unappealing journey you could imagine.
The only good part of the story is arguably the stuff with Zelda in the past (and maybe also Sidon, Sonia, and Rauru, but notably less so). I legitimately think Zelda's portrayal in this game is probably in the top 2 or 3 when comparing it to every other iteration of Zelda we've had so far. Probably because the game actually takes the time to build her character to some degree though both the tears and other side content found in the world.
... But none of it means anything, because nothing is done with it. All of Zelda's efforts, experiences, and emotions are completely thrown out the window with the ending as it reduces her a deu ex machina as she swoops in to help link against gannondorf in the final fight. Which, let me remind you, shouldn't even be possible as at that point Zelda had gotten rid of all her memories (a side effect of the draconification process, stated multiple times throughout the story and even demonstrated when she tries to shake link off of her whenever he tries to retrieve the master sword), and as such has zero reason to come in and help Link, let alone fight Gannondorf. It's never explained why she does this either, which makes it even more stupid.
And to make matters worse, after everything is over the game pulls ANOTHER Deus ex machina by having both Rauru and Sonia come back and magically revert both Zelda to normal and give Link his arm back. Even though Sonia's been dead for years and never knew who Link was aside from passing comments from Zelda, and even though we see Rauru move on to the afterlife or wherever at the very start of the game. But now they're just... Back? The game explains it that they used both of their powers to fix Zelda and Link, but... How? What did they even DO with their powers? And why did they only choose that specific moment to revert Zelda, instead of reverting her when Link gets the master sword? Links arm makes sense, but why would they willingly leave Zelda as a shell of her former self when there no longer would be a need for her to remain that way after Link gets the master sword from her?
And once all that's done, all we get is Zelda saying "You did it Link. You saved me!" before the game just... ends. Like, there's no fanfare. No cheering, crying, or kind of emotion. Zelda just looks at you and says "good job" and the game ends. It's baffling. Like, you'd expect that she would burst into a hysterical cry fit of joy, relief, and who knows what other feelings (And we know Nintendo is at least willing to let her cry, because we literally see her do exactly that when Mineru moves on). You'd think that would be the case since she essentially committed suicide in the hopes that Link MIGHT be able to not only find her, that the master sword would have enough power to be used against Gannondorf, and that Link would actually beat him. And mind you, the game makes it clear that she didn't know if any of that would actually happen, nor was it supposed to be a possibility that she would ever go back to normal. Then suddenly she's back to normal, shown that everything she sacrificed payed off, and that Link is right there with her? Just about anyone in her situation would just... break down into an emotional mess.
But no. After all that - after all the death and sacrifices - for none of that to affect her in any way is just... insulting. It's like none of that ever even happened. Forget having there being actual concequences to your actions. No need to even acknowledge the fact that Zelda was practically dead for a millenia (which is, in fact, a thing because despite people reacting to the fact you have master sword, none of them to react to the fact that Zelda is currently a dragon flying in the sky. Even though it's implied that Link tells them about both how he got the master sword and what happened to Zelda. It's almost like none of them care).
I mean, you won. So who cares, right? All's well that ends well!
But again, this is Nintendo were talking about. They'd sooner shoot themselves then let any of their characters suffer any sort of lasting concequences.
But ranting about how they ruined an entire main character arc aside, the rest of the main story just borders on either ok or painful. Sidon got lucky, as he actually gets some kind of character development (even if it is extremely minimal and over with in about 6 seconds).
Riju had literally nothing. No character development. No personality. Nothing.
Tulin was just the common trope of "my parents don't think I'm old enough to do X thing so I'll show them because they are stupid!". It, too, also lasted 6 seconds and afterwards he was relegated to just some kid afterwards.
Yunobo was the worst of the bunch. His entire character sucked in the first game, and it somehow got worse in this one. His entire story is just him shambling along as he's written to be too stupid to put 1 and 2 together for literally any problem he's faced. He doesn't even join you because he wants to; he's just doesn't want to "let his ancestors down". It's stupid. I could talk about how they could have made his story about him choosing to give everyone the rock roast stuff against his better judgement because he desperately wants to feel important, but this post is already too long.
Mineru was also there.
The past sages also don't exist. You can't convince me they exist, because you could remove them from the plot entirely and nothing would change. They say the (almost) exact same thing in when they talk to each respective present sage, and we still don't know ANY of their names or anything about them at all. They exist soley to spout exposition and have zero reason to exist.
I also think Gannondorf is extremely 1 dimensional since we are never told the reasoning behind any of his actions, but this post is long enough already.
So, yeah. This game's story is a disaster. But in spite of that, I still liked this game enough to give it 3.5/5 stars. I know that sounds really strange considering how I just wrote a essay telling you how awful the story is, but the main story only takes up about 10% of the overall game (which is another reason why it sucks, but still). The other 90% was genuinely really fun. The world at large felt much more alive and your actions in it make tangible changes in ways that feel relatively meaningful. There still is plenty of stuff to explore, despite 2/5 of the map being copied from the first game. And again, the general gameplay is really thought out. The Zoanite contraptions are fun to mess with, combat is still solid, and the weapon system is MUCH better in this game thanks the fusing mechanic.
But I just wish that last 10% was actually good, as it's supposed to be the most important.

The Kinect controls were so bad I couldn't even play the game