So far this year I've beaten things like Rogue Warrior, Life of Black Tiger, Orc Slayer, Duke Nukem Forever, Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back and much more of equally nonexistant quality. The Quiet Man? It's worse than all of those.
I will go so far to even say that it is my least favorite game I've ever played. I can't call it the worst game of all time as there are many games that are so broken that its impossible to even beat them. However I genuinely wish this was one of those because the 2.99 I spent on this would of had more use in the fucking blender. From story to gameplay to anything else you can think of that makes up a game The Quiet Man completely and utterly fails at.
So to start, the main concept of the game is that since the main character is deaf the vast majority of the game barring the first and last cutscene is nearly completely silent. Only via a second playthrough do you get the option of experiencing the audio, but more on that in a bit. I do think this is actually a really interesting concept but the abysmal execution makes the entire thing fall apart. Firstly there is no subtitles. This is understandable to a degree as you'd naturally assume the whole point of this "mechanic" is that you don't get to hear or understand anything the main character can't. But it doesn't actually work like that. There's maybe one or two instances in the game where anyone uses sign language. The main character very clearly is at the least able to read lips or something of the sort as in every single cutscene he is capable of having conversations and understanding everything being said to him. So why no subtitles? Why does the game open with a message explicitly emphasizing that there are no subtitles. The whole point of the game just completely falls apart because of this. What's worse is that these cutscenes are pointlessly long slog-fests. The game is thankfully only a couple of hours long but so much of it is just spent in these torturously long completely silent scenes of people just fucking talking. Not to mention extended completely silent scenes of a woman singing and playing piano. There are zero interesting visuals to accompany it either, and the framing and composition for the FMVs makes CW shows look like they were filmed by Roger Deakins in comparison. This is all to say that it is fucking boring as god damn motherfucking shit. This would be a great way to get your kids to go to sleep but honestly letting anyone play or watch this is probably highly unethical. And guess what? Knowing the dialogue and story actually makes this even worse. Im convinced that the whole no subtitles thing to make this as unnecessarily cryptic as possible is entirely to mask the fact that the actual story is fuckass. The new game plus audio thing wasnt even in the original game! It had to be patched in because people were rightfully complaining about how miserable this game is. If I'm being completely honest I did not and will not be fully playing this game again to experience the full story. From what i've heard and seen it is so terrible on a base factor (and so easily to tell so from what you're able to piece together of it in your first playthrough) and I highly doubt any new information could possibly save this game. There is some twists near the end and it takes a weird supernatural turn that's just... like I can't even begin to explain it man its just so stupid. In summary the cutscenes are too long, the story is terrible, and the dialogue only makes it worse. But hey, that's only one half of the game. Surely the actual gameplay is better?
The gameplay of The Quiet Man is arguably a dozen times worse than the stupid ass story. It is janky, unpolished and barebones to a laughable degree. There is basically zero explanation to anything, all you have to go off is a really awful menu that just shows symbols instead of just telling you what the buttons do so you're mostly left to button mashing your way through the whole game. And honestly thats really all you need to do for the most part. It's so poorly put together that you can just spam attack through nearly the entire thing. The enemies are the same couple ones with very minimal variance throughout most of the game. They clip through the environments and don't have transition animations so they often just teleport all over the place. The reused characters is so funny too especially when some are in the FMV cutscenes so its especially noticeable. Also not to insinuate anything but besides like some of the bosses, literally every enemy in this is a minority... so on top of everything else that's maybe not the best look. Despite how stupidly easy it is to just button mash through all of the encounters the game can be randomly hard at times. A big chunk of this is definitely because of how the controls aren't explained at all and you're expected to do certain actions for some enemies but more than this the camera is total garbage and there are multiple instances of cutscenes being flashed on screen during the combat making it hard to even see what's happening. Just as easily as you can stunlock enemies they can stunlock you and your character is very frail. Also like previously mentioned the characters just teleport around between animations so its just a huge clusterfuck of game vomit. Also they have the audacity to have a trophy for beating the game without getting hit, which is really funny.
Yeah, thats kinda all I have to say about this game. There's some other random shit like how bland it looks, like how the death loading screens being your mom/love interest looking at you lovingly. She has nice eyes and a good smile so thats basically the only part of the game I enjoyed more than I enjoy stubbing my toe. Also yeah, the same actress is used for both the main characters mom in flashbacks and as the main characters love interest. I'm not gonna comment further on it, I'm just as confused as you are. There's more I could complain about, endlessly even. But I'm tired of talking about this game lmao. In summary, this game is terrible and It's my least favorite game I've ever completed. It also gets the honor of being the very first game I ever give a 0/100 to, so congrats!
Thanks for reading y'all. Sorry this is only my third review three months in. Typing is just hard lol. I'm working on a Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe and Assassin's Creed Ezio Collection review at the moment so hopefully it won't be too long before you see me again. Take care, don't play this game.
Nancymeter - 0/100
Time Played - too damn much
Trophy Completion - who cares
Game Completion #1 of March
Game Completion #51 of 2023
I will go so far to even say that it is my least favorite game I've ever played. I can't call it the worst game of all time as there are many games that are so broken that its impossible to even beat them. However I genuinely wish this was one of those because the 2.99 I spent on this would of had more use in the fucking blender. From story to gameplay to anything else you can think of that makes up a game The Quiet Man completely and utterly fails at.
So to start, the main concept of the game is that since the main character is deaf the vast majority of the game barring the first and last cutscene is nearly completely silent. Only via a second playthrough do you get the option of experiencing the audio, but more on that in a bit. I do think this is actually a really interesting concept but the abysmal execution makes the entire thing fall apart. Firstly there is no subtitles. This is understandable to a degree as you'd naturally assume the whole point of this "mechanic" is that you don't get to hear or understand anything the main character can't. But it doesn't actually work like that. There's maybe one or two instances in the game where anyone uses sign language. The main character very clearly is at the least able to read lips or something of the sort as in every single cutscene he is capable of having conversations and understanding everything being said to him. So why no subtitles? Why does the game open with a message explicitly emphasizing that there are no subtitles. The whole point of the game just completely falls apart because of this. What's worse is that these cutscenes are pointlessly long slog-fests. The game is thankfully only a couple of hours long but so much of it is just spent in these torturously long completely silent scenes of people just fucking talking. Not to mention extended completely silent scenes of a woman singing and playing piano. There are zero interesting visuals to accompany it either, and the framing and composition for the FMVs makes CW shows look like they were filmed by Roger Deakins in comparison. This is all to say that it is fucking boring as god damn motherfucking shit. This would be a great way to get your kids to go to sleep but honestly letting anyone play or watch this is probably highly unethical. And guess what? Knowing the dialogue and story actually makes this even worse. Im convinced that the whole no subtitles thing to make this as unnecessarily cryptic as possible is entirely to mask the fact that the actual story is fuckass. The new game plus audio thing wasnt even in the original game! It had to be patched in because people were rightfully complaining about how miserable this game is. If I'm being completely honest I did not and will not be fully playing this game again to experience the full story. From what i've heard and seen it is so terrible on a base factor (and so easily to tell so from what you're able to piece together of it in your first playthrough) and I highly doubt any new information could possibly save this game. There is some twists near the end and it takes a weird supernatural turn that's just... like I can't even begin to explain it man its just so stupid. In summary the cutscenes are too long, the story is terrible, and the dialogue only makes it worse. But hey, that's only one half of the game. Surely the actual gameplay is better?
The gameplay of The Quiet Man is arguably a dozen times worse than the stupid ass story. It is janky, unpolished and barebones to a laughable degree. There is basically zero explanation to anything, all you have to go off is a really awful menu that just shows symbols instead of just telling you what the buttons do so you're mostly left to button mashing your way through the whole game. And honestly thats really all you need to do for the most part. It's so poorly put together that you can just spam attack through nearly the entire thing. The enemies are the same couple ones with very minimal variance throughout most of the game. They clip through the environments and don't have transition animations so they often just teleport all over the place. The reused characters is so funny too especially when some are in the FMV cutscenes so its especially noticeable. Also not to insinuate anything but besides like some of the bosses, literally every enemy in this is a minority... so on top of everything else that's maybe not the best look. Despite how stupidly easy it is to just button mash through all of the encounters the game can be randomly hard at times. A big chunk of this is definitely because of how the controls aren't explained at all and you're expected to do certain actions for some enemies but more than this the camera is total garbage and there are multiple instances of cutscenes being flashed on screen during the combat making it hard to even see what's happening. Just as easily as you can stunlock enemies they can stunlock you and your character is very frail. Also like previously mentioned the characters just teleport around between animations so its just a huge clusterfuck of game vomit. Also they have the audacity to have a trophy for beating the game without getting hit, which is really funny.
Yeah, thats kinda all I have to say about this game. There's some other random shit like how bland it looks, like how the death loading screens being your mom/love interest looking at you lovingly. She has nice eyes and a good smile so thats basically the only part of the game I enjoyed more than I enjoy stubbing my toe. Also yeah, the same actress is used for both the main characters mom in flashbacks and as the main characters love interest. I'm not gonna comment further on it, I'm just as confused as you are. There's more I could complain about, endlessly even. But I'm tired of talking about this game lmao. In summary, this game is terrible and It's my least favorite game I've ever completed. It also gets the honor of being the very first game I ever give a 0/100 to, so congrats!
Thanks for reading y'all. Sorry this is only my third review three months in. Typing is just hard lol. I'm working on a Kirby's Return to Dream Land Deluxe and Assassin's Creed Ezio Collection review at the moment so hopefully it won't be too long before you see me again. Take care, don't play this game.
Nancymeter - 0/100
Time Played - too damn much
Trophy Completion - who cares
Game Completion #1 of March
Game Completion #51 of 2023
2 Comments
thanks :p
danieladultman
1 year ago