--------------------------------------------------
DIFFICULTY LEVEL
30

RING PRESS
14026 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS
4462 times

FRONT PRESS
3840 times

OVERHEAD PRESS
3699 times

RING RAISE COMBO
3343 times

SQUAT
3150 times

KNEE LIFT
2409 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS & TWIST
2473 times

STANDING TWIST
2313 times

TREE POSE
1935 times

BACK PRESS
1733 times

SEATED RING RAISE
1616 times

KNEE-TO-CHEST
1546 times

OVERHEAD ARM SPIN
1489 times

LEG SCISSORS
1371 times

BOW PULL
1118 times

THIGH PRESS
1078 times

PLANK
1073 times

PUSH & PULL RUSH
987 times

OVERHEAD HIP SHAKE
968 times

RUSSIAN TWIST
945 times

LOW RING PRESS
928 times

LEG RAISE
914 times

PEDAL RUSH
844 times

REVOLVED CRESCENT LUNGE POSE
836 times

FLUTTER KICK
802 times

SIDE STEP
792 times

WARRIOR I POSE
764 times

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
740 times

WIDE SQUAT
733 times

ABDOMINAL TWIST PRESS RUSH
702 times

CHAIR POSE
608 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS SIDE BEND
584 times

TRICEP KICKBACK
543 times

HINGE POSE
514 times

RUSH LIFT
499 times

KNEE-LIFT COMBO
470 times

WARRIOR II POSE
469 times

OVERHEAD SQUAT
459 times

OVERHEAD HIP SHAKE RUSH
458 times

OVERHEAD KNEE LIFT RUSH
449 times

SWING CLIMBER
433 times

OVERHEAD BEND
421 times

OVERHEAD LUNGE TWIST
387 times

KNEE LIFT RUSH
387 times

PENDULUM BEND
335 times

SEATED FORWARD PRESS
313 times

UPPER BODY TWIST
266 times

OVERHEAD SIDE BEND
264 times

THIGH PRESS RUSH
251 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS & TWIST SQUATS
221 times

BOAT POSE
220 times

HIP LIFT
208 times

RING PULL
147 times

WARRIOR III POSE
140 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS & TWIST
125 times

SHOULDER PRESS
80 times

STRETCH & BEND RUSH
70 times

WIDE-SQUAT RUSH
58 times

STANDING FORWARD FOLD
32 times

FAN POSE
28 times

ABDOMINAL PRESS SQUATS
19 times

THIGH SQUEEZE
4 times

TREE POSE HOLD*
4 times

DASH
42,771 yards

JOGGING
26,457 yards

KNEES LIFTED
4352 yards

WALKING
3 yards

TOTAL DISTANCE TRAVELLED
65km

TOTAL TIME EXERCISING
43:38:21

perspective shot of the house

peter is sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop
Brian: "Hey Peter what are you doing"
Peter: "Oh hey Bri, I'm reviewing our video game on this neat website, it's so freakin' awesome"
Brian: "Sure, but don't you think writing about your own work would come off as a bit narcissistic"
Peter: "No way, internet celebrities do this all the time. Just like my distant cousin and soulslike v-tuber, Ashley Griffin"
cutaway to Ashley Griffin
Ashley Griffin: "Rap isn't real music"

perspective shot of the house

peter is again typing on his laptop, but is now laying stomach-down on the couch and swinging his legs back and forth while twirling his hair through his finger
stewie walks in
Stewie, chuckling: "Well well well, somebody must be making breakfast 'cause I see an egg cracking!"
long pause
the camera gets a close-up of Stewie
Stewie, looking at the camera with a straight face: "That was a gay joke."
another long pause
the doorbell rings
Peter, yelling towards kitchen: "Hey Meg, make yourself useful and get the door"
Meg: audibly makes this noise
Peter: "Shut up, Meg"
meg falls over and remains there for the duration of the scene
lois answers the front door
Lois: "Well, you must be Cyndi Lauper!"
Cyndi Lauper: "Hello, Lois. It is I, Cyndi Lauper, from 'that one music video your parents won't stop streaming to the tv while guests are over' "
peter walks on-screen
Peter: "What's goin' on""
Cyndi Lauper, hands on hips: "Peter, I'm here as a representative of the Lotta Paragraph Games Committee, and we've been receiving some very unhappy messages about your so-called 'review'. Many of our group chat members say it's in poor taste"
Peter: .
Lois, laughing nervously: "Ohhh, I'm sure it can't be that bad,"
Lois, now with a straight face: "Trust me, I know Peter and poor taste"
cutaway to peter sitting in a high chair wearing a bib. Lois is angrily feeding him peas on a spoon
Peter, crying: "I don't wanna! it doesn't even have any Styrofoam marshmallows shaped like my morning cartoons!"
Lois, fuming: "You'll eat it and like it!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Now, it's perfectly reasonable to be defensive about it, but that's the group consensus going around"
Cyndi Lauper, whispering to Peter: "I even hear them calling it pick-me behavior"
Peter, gasping: "What??? Pick-me behavior??? That's ridiculous! I haven't done anything of the sort! Well, not since high school, anyway"
cut to joe, cleveland, peter and quagmire, in high school, sitting at, each holding a glass of milk
Joe: "My glass is half-full"
Cleveland: "My glass is half-empty"
Peter, doing pensive emoji face: "My glass feels like everyone treats them like a ghost and wishes they would invite them to parties and give them free affection but it's ok it's not really bothered by it it's just venting :("
Quagmire: "My glass is still warm! Giggity giggity giggity giggity!!!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Well I'm sorry, but if you want to give a better impression to those people, you'll have to put up a new review expressing how you really feel"

shot of the clam

peter, joe, and quagmire are sitting at their booth
Peter, looking at the camera, unimpressed: "Cleveland isn't here with us today so I'm going to say something racially insensitive. Seth will not comment about this for the next 20 years, then reply to a callout tweet about it with the 'clenched teeth oooooh' reaction gif"
Quagmire, looking at Peter: "So Peter, you're saying these guys are upset at your review"
Peter: "Yeah, they say it's not a real review and it's just me bragging about me having my own game"
Joe: "Well Beter, if I were you, I'd update it to include a lengthy manifesto about the idiosyncrasies between our show's cutaway format and the sequential structure of game
Quagmire: "Or you could be like me and name all the characters you wanna bang!"
Peter, excited: "Hey, that's a great idea!"
Joe: "Which idea, the uhh, my idea or the other one"
Peter, now straight-faced: "The other one"
Joe, looking downwards: .

sweeping shot of guadelahara

cut to stewie and brian eating granola and sitting on a rock
Stewie, chewing: "This is the B-plot where we try to make you forget we don't have any other gags about gamer culture"
Brian, also chewing: "I read yaoi during the cutaways"

Two more plot-threads occur over the next 15 minutes, entirely unrelated to the first.

i've never played a wario land game, but i saw my friends playing it and talking about it, so i gave it a shot. there are no regrets.
the controls took some getting used to, but good lord, i love how it feels. as many said, it feels like a 90s cartoon brought into a video game. it's unabashedly silly, too-- no over-the-top story, no Top 10 Moments That Will Make You Cry... there's hidden lore, but that's not really the focus of the game. the game wants you to go fast and have fun.

also, as an animator, i love the animations for this. they're so smooth, expressive, sometimes even snappy-- and i am so glad it's drawn the way it is

I was born post-Y2K so I'm not gonna pretend to act like I have any experience with what the internet was actually like at the time, but even as a spectator to that whole era I can still see this as maybe the best piece of art ever made about how much it means to be a part of a community you belong to. About knowing your roots and preserving your history, even in the face of societal adversity. About how capitalism can ruin art whenever it feels like it. It feels universal. It lures you in with goofy character writing and funny observations of days gone and then punches you hard in the gut with the force of how much those types of things mean to you.

they got me cryin over the heavyhanded christian theming at the end!!! goddammit passionate collective of talented artists who made this thing i hate u!!!!

A technical marvel of computer wizardry by Steve Wozniak. However, as I have seen it reiterated time and again, most recently in the (so far) excellent ATARI 50, I wish to stress that Steve Jobs had minimal (read: no) involvement with the development or design of Breakout.

I think it's an interesting enough tale that you should dive into it yourself, but here's the basic rundown:

Wozniak was working at Hewlett-Packard, and got a call from Jobs about the work he was doing at Atari. Jobs' job was to give Atari's games a final test for any tweaks necessary. Bushnell assigned Jobs the task of making a single-player Pong-like where the player would break bricks. Jobs was to receive a ~$750 bonus for every chip under fifty since Bushnell disliked how many chips Atari's games were using. Bushnell offered the job to Jobs because he had heard Jobs' friend Wozniak had made a Pong-clone using only 30 chips. Jobs only told Wozniak that there would be a $700 bonus for getting things under 50 chips, and $1,000 if they were under 40. Jobs told Wozniak they would split that $700/$1,000 fee. To meet the four day deadline, Wozniak worked four nights straight at Atari while performing his main job at Hewlett-Packard. Jobs would breadboard Wozniak's designs and wire the chips. Jobs and Wozniak ended up with mononucleosis. With a finalised design at fourty-four chips, Jobs paid Wozniak half the $700 he told Wozniak they would earn. The actual bonus earned was $5,000, and Wozniak wouldn't find out the truth until years later. In his own words:

"[...]we were kids, you know. He got paid one amount, and told me he got paid another. He wasn't honest with me, and I was hurt. But I didn't make a big deal about it or anything. Ethics always mattered to me, and I still don't really understand why he would've gotten paid one thing and told me he'd gotten paid another. [...] I never let stuff like what happened with Breakout bother me. Though you can disagree -- you can even split from a relationship -- you don't have to hold it against the other. You're just different. That's the best way to live life and be happy."

For further reading, I suggest Steve Wozniak's biography iWoz, this interview from the December 1984 edition of BYTE magazine, and this Q&A from Wozniak's website.

" I rolled a streak of 7 hits in my limit break with a Meteor Barret 9999 finisher"
Me: STFU Zell nobody cares. Annoying ass "chicken-wuss" SeeD member.

" I uhmmm rolled a single Cura in my Slot ability... "
Me: Thank you for this vital support my queen. All hail Selphie from Trabia Garden.