2238 Reviews liked by Nightblade


Playing on an emulator really fucked up my perception of how Pokemon is supposed to be played because while playing Pokerogue with quick animations, cursor memory to repeat moves, and holding X to skip dialogues, I still find myself pressing Tab on instinct.

YO THE BEATS ARE STRONG
YO THE BEATS ARE STRONG
BUT THE NIGHT IS LONG

Homestar Ruiner - 6/10
Strong Badia The Free - 7.5/10
Baddest of the Bands - 7.5/10
Dangeresque 3 - 10/10
8-Bit is Enough - 8.5/10

When I played this for the first time in middle school i thought it was the bees knees, but it's got a lot of filler coming back to it - the rapid-fire razor-sharp comedy of homestar is hard to stretch out to 5 games at 4-hour length each. The snippets of good content is definitely worth the trip though

Best part of the experience was getting to Dangeresque 3 in a call with Vi, it's always a treat seeing ppl react to strong bad stuff for the first time

Look im done with reviewing on this website so treat this as a warning this is the probably the worst designed puzzle game i've ever played.

Fact: 90% of kings who gamble on civilian lives give up before they hit big

dog i hate it here so much. i'm minding my own business, poisoning random passerbys with my Pimpy Son Opp, when this guy with a fuck-off arm walks up and starts doing Rising Tackles on my boys. He kicked one of them in the nuts and a crowd cheered. we're in the middle of the desert. I hit him with a club and then he started crying and we all felt really bad. Where's Jagi man. this shit blows, I want to go home.

It's like if Banjo-Tooie's level structure was actually good and sane. Does the thing that game does where a level is like one big puzzle with multiple smaller ones to solve within it, but its not designed maliciously. Appreciate the way it really doesn't play like what has been standardized as the "good 3d platformer moveset", but still feels really good to nail. Has fall damage because its not cowardly. In general it feels like what Rare was going for with its harder platformer moments like Rusty Bucket Bay or all of Conker's Bad Fur Day but just not nearly as mean, but mean enough to be satisfying to beat. I think a lot of 3D platformer people have turned on Rare's n64 platformers for several reasons, but games like this show that there's still plenty of right lessons to take from those games besides "have a joke about balls" or "have more collectibles than God"

Wild Woody was the first videogame to ever win a Hugo award.
Google "drugs" to learn more.

"WHATS UP GUYS?! TODAY WE WILL BE CONFRONTING HORRORS BEYOND OUR COMPREHENSION! BE SURE TO SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON-"
a mere 10 minutes later
"oh my god guys, luke was killed... can we please get 10,000 likes for luke?"

Kind of bullshit throughout the whole runtime but has lots of very interesting technical feats under its belt. The Pizza Planet level is especially interesting, and the first person level is much smoother than anything else of its ilk on the console. Could definitely stand to be more playable in the grand scheme of things, but it's at least endearing.

Hey what if I plagiarized a game and then made the game's description on Steam near identical to the one I'm copying and then made 5 donation dlc's that go up to 200 dollars and then made them go on Steam promo's to further incentivize impressionable people who mistake me for the original developer, I think that would be very funny.

Harrowing look into what its like to spend a day in Italy.

Normally if I enjoy a game I'd either try to have fun with my writing and do something corny like roleplaying as a character or go insanely heavy on the showmanship, but for the sake of this I'm actually going to be really vanilla and bore everyone to death.

Before I heel out, I'd like to let it be known that I was rooting for this game. When it was originally revealed in one of the Directs, I clapped, I hooted, and I hollered, for she deserves the universe and everything in it. She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment. I heard it get compared to Wario World, which made me bounce off walls like Spring Wario from the classic Game Boy games. I could imagine it now, Peach womanhandling every bad guy in sight and going on an exciting journey through every genre of artistic theater known by Mushroomy Kingdom history. Unfortunately, comparing Good-Feel to even one of Treasure's lesser developments is essentially like putting silly putty next to an unpolished diamond.

"Engagement" and "difficulty" are two separate things, and it really needs to be stressed that the latter means little in the grand stage of what makes a game do what a game does, which is engage the player and take their mind off life, with the "fun yeah woo" energy replacing all their other thought processes. Spyro the Dragon and Ninja Gaiden are on opposite ends of the spectrum and still manage to be a few of my favorites to ever do it. Just a few days ago, I played Bugs Bunny Lost in Time on stream in a Discord call with one of my friends as she did some programming, and that is a game "made for children" with very little punishment dealt out for mistakes. For how jank and lower budget it was, it was fun with decent puzzles, cool ship combat, car chase segments, and even pretty good boss fights! It's something I enjoyed when I was eight, and still do now as an adult.

Peach Showtime for all of it's poor performing extravagance doesn't even use a lot of the joycon's controls, and many segments are very linear and on-rails with one of the Detective Peach puzzles quite literally having the solution put up on the wall for you. Using a simple control scheme is never a bad thing in itself, I enjoy an Atari game now and then, but the fine art of utilizing that simple control scheme demands creativity that extends beyond auto-scrolling sections that make 100%'ing the game annoying. It would also ask for enemies to master the very tricky art of "moving the fuck around a little" to justify having the world's most lenient parry window. It's frustrating, because for every half-decent powergaming moment that involves throwing hitboxes around enemies that are less threatening than beginner mode Musou soldiers it's spliced between very uninteresting unskippable dialogue, uneventful non-combat plays, auto-scrolling/auto-running sections, and "puzzle" segments that are more trivial than microwave cooking. It makes me drowsy! I've played stuff like Toy Story Activity Center off the Collection Chamber and Number Munchers last year, and that stuff was pretty fun despite the target audience! Hell, I still come back to Wacky Worlds Creativity Studio on Sega Genesis just to screw around with the music maker! It stimulates my imagination, unlike Peach Showtime!

Give kids some respect, or even better give Peach some respect. A little bit of both I feel would go a long way.

....Also, I know I'm preaching to the choir on this subject, but why does the game run so goddamn bad? The loading screen and results screen run worse than a bunch of Atari Jaguar games I've played, was it a bad style choice? It would check out I guess, I may as well be playing a movie game.

A dull direct-to-VHS Disney movie game.

" To be or not to be, that is the serious question " - Sam, the Serious