profound air sucking DOOOOOOOOOOG!! That's my dog, except it's not the same breed, and huuh it's not my dog BUT he gets away with chicaneries as easily. So, the massive dad takes his kids to Belize, I think that's the story I can't read japanese (trial & error to find the language settings goes hard) and mom is in an highly comative state. That's a recipe for disaster. Here come dat boi, literal mud sponge marking his territory in the filthiest of ways. Press Reload button to reload and press Fire button to fire that's the gameplay loop, which actually is great foreshadowing of the minigun hat- what?? Psalm 37:13 - But the lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.

Little thing gets pampered with collectibles every 5 seconds, I know he's cute but that is a bit excessive. Dogs have that TikTok attention span tho and he can't get outside so he needs to be rewarded for doing tricks, which is more of a prank gone wrong in this case, which moreso went as planned, anyways there are a few environmental puzzles mostly for the sake of it, this game is very short it clocks in below an hour but in dog years its like 7 hours, I don't know why I said that when I was talking about the puzzles, they're pretty fun and obvious, that's about it.

Okay I don't know how high Pomeranians can jump, clearly this one is weighed down by all the mud so I cut him some slack, but he can barely go above a chair. I don't think I've seen a dog jump straight onto a table so that's probably for the best, my own dog cant even climb chairs but he does jump on beds. Closing parenthesis it's cool to see what the new employees could do as a quick project, it really feels like a game made by japanese devs, not so sure abt the Namco identity, unless the 300 pomerillions in damage property are a subtle reference to Blue Protocol. Bravo!

Damn I be on heat- I mean, on fire in that mech, look at me roll up to the crib fully decked out, no survivors left. That's the most basic roguelike to ever roguelike with a morsel of artstyle, there may as well be a full bearded bear or the cuntiest hoe under that suit but that be left in the imagination. I approve of this mission consisting in invading ships and cleaning deck, although the main objective really be neutralizing the brain of the ship (literal brain), in and out as they say. Furthermore we can only sweep the enemies because the ships don't seem to have floors while ours do. It's not high maintenance to have a ground to walk on in space, is there?

And so wake me up inside, bcuz I sleep. It's not really the best game out there, it does its job but it's minimum wage. There are a few weapons of Mass Destruction and a few enemies of la muerte pero no tenemos mucho stuff to differentiate each run. There's Fog of War maps? And varying ways to not have the player go straight to the finish line, including a brain that teleports (insert skull emoji). We are not cutting corners, just dashing in hallways.

Btw idk about doin it solo, but playing with someone reveals just how cluttered the screen gets, at which point I don't even see what's happening, this is the real Fog of War. All that just to be cut loose by a basketballer sized toad. Can't I just book a voyage across this exceptionally empty galaxy? Would you grant me the honor of seeing a character worth a damn? Didn't think so.

I have become a marketable ball plushie ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅHH yea he looks so soft and squishable so it was bound to happen, still it only took one spin-off the set the record straight. Kirby has done a lot of things after this, but for the first venture it is some pinball! You know it's pinball it's in the yucking name. Playing Kirby is like smoking in the non-smoking area so it's not your average pinball. Frame 1 and you're already firing Kirby in a cannon into one of the three levels there are. Now there's a left, center and right one so if this was Life Is Strange your choice would impact your political EXP bar I just made up, hmm yea the crux of the matter is that these levels have their own gimmicks to them and you get to fight Kracko, Poppy and Wispy (in-game typo, I know bro is so mad).

What happens is, you have to use your pinball skills to reach the highest floors where the boss is, honestly I'd just take the elevator but Kirby is not as weak-willed as me and I need to accept that. Kirby has no life (so me), which means bosses just restort to cucking the flippers until I relent, which I don't. Because if I did, I'd have to see this mf fall all the way down and I can't have that especially because the transition between screens is disorienting and I'd lose sight of who I am, where I am, why I am. If I do make it to the basement, scare unfolds like any good horror game: the springboard mechanic. It's like the bonus minigame in most Kirbys where you press A at the right time, but eventually Kirby's Pinball Land puts you in an unwinnable scenario. They still let you try tho but it's been an honor gents.

Among these bosses, the easiest might unironically be Dedede. No I haven't mentioned him but come on, he can't not be the final boss. He basically lets you hit whaaat 😳 I mean he has a phase where he locks into you like you have HP and he dont (its the opposite) which gives me flashbacks of me doing that as a kid in certain games tryna brute force everythang. After I've beaten him I can continue playing for a higher score, no I don't think I will. The bosses are familiar and so are their patterns, although you're gonna die at first when you don't know they're going for the damn flippers. Kracko and Poppy have chosen the path of cowardice and tag team on you with Kracko Jr. and... another Poppy Sr. The latter was the hardest to fold and dominate all over... It was kinda goofy to make Kirby warp between the two borders of the screen, he'll get airsick but it makes the fights easier I think just they take longer because you have the stop the pink bullet you're controlling.

I don't think I have grasped every gimmick to get warp stars, but I won the game and the winner writes history so I will choose to ignore them. Hitting a cloud to make it rain so a giant Kirby puts out an umbrella so it can propulse you to new heights, like at this point just ask Kirby Sr. there are no lore reasons for him telling you to suck it up and do it yourself. Furthermore... Kirby can't suck in this game! Is Kirby Sr. on sum crack? Why is there another Kirby in the first place. My noggin goin places rn.