Bio
Steven T. Wright: freelance devil, intrepid meme reporter, and writer of much soporific prose. You can find my work at GameSpot, Input, Rolling Stone, Polygon, and many others, though it's probably easiest just to check my Twitter.
Ratings:
1 - Outstandingly abysmal in every way
2 - Notably awful
3 - Quite bad, but forgettably so
4 - Run-of-the-mill, though not incompetent
5 - Occasionally diverting; walk, don't run
6 - Flawed, but worth a look to the right audience
7 - Fine enough to recommend, though perhaps with reservations
8 - A thoroughly enjoyable experience
9 - Superb, often the best game of the year
10 - A complete aesthetic experience
Steven T. Wright: freelance devil, intrepid meme reporter, and writer of much soporific prose. You can find my work at GameSpot, Input, Rolling Stone, Polygon, and many others, though it's probably easiest just to check my Twitter.
Ratings:
1 - Outstandingly abysmal in every way
2 - Notably awful
3 - Quite bad, but forgettably so
4 - Run-of-the-mill, though not incompetent
5 - Occasionally diverting; walk, don't run
6 - Flawed, but worth a look to the right audience
7 - Fine enough to recommend, though perhaps with reservations
8 - A thoroughly enjoyable experience
9 - Superb, often the best game of the year
10 - A complete aesthetic experience
Badges
Well Written
Gained 10+ likes on a single review
Adored
Gained 300+ total review likes
3 Years of Service
Being part of the Backloggd community for 3 years
Donor
Liked 50+ reviews / lists
Popular
Gained 15+ followers
Loved
Gained 100+ total review likes
N00b
Played 100+ games
Noticed
Gained 3+ followers
Liked
Gained 10+ total review likes
Favorite Games
226
Total Games Played
000
Played in 2024
037
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This is a joke game, which means that it's quite bad. However, I actually laughed at it a couple of times, which makes it leagues better than most joke games. Also, it's $0.50, so no harm, no foul.
Fairly decent platformer that makes no attempt to hide the fact that it's a halfway point between old DKC and new DKC. (Kaze is literally Dixie Kong's moveset with Klonoa ears.) It's a pretty well-made game, but it's quite short and a bit too easy until the halfway point. The $20 asking price is a bit steep for what it is, but if you can get it on sale, you can do a heck of a lot worse.
Zero Mission was my first Metroid ever - besides my fumbling attempts to understand Super Metroid as a kid, which are best left unremarked-upon - so I'll always have a soft spot for it. That said, I truly do think that it's one of the best Metroidvanias out there, and it manages to avoid a lot of the annoying pitfalls that other games in its genre exhibit.
More than anything, Zero Mission is punchy and to the point: it doesn't waste your time with red herrings, barren open areas, or needless difficulty spikes. The Chozo statues that mark your map are a subtle addition to the series's usual blueprint, but they're actually one of the best design decisions in the game. They give newbies some much-needed direction - especially once the game opens up - but experienced players can forgo the hint and sequence-break as much as they desire.
Zero Mission isn't shy about borrowing its basic design directly from Super Metroid - even handing you some familiar power-ups right as the game ends - but as a whole, I would say that it works better as the archetypical Metroid experience even more than the classic that birthed it. Super Metroid is an all-time great game, but it has a lot of sharp corners that you can get caught on, especially if you aren't versed in the somewhat idiosyncratic approach of the series.
There's nothing like the "noob bridge" or the mandatory shinespark tunnel in Zero Mission, and while those make sense in context, that decision is probably for the best. The smoother controls and more functional map help a lot, too. As with all the Metroid games, I was pleasantly surprised at how difficult some of the final puzzles were during my 100% run, but none of them felt unfair.
Like fellow genre standout Aria of Sorrow, Zero Mission's triumph is mostly in the small details rather than any individual facet of its design. This is just a damn good game through and through.
That said, the final sequence is legitimately one of the best surprises in video games, and an extremely creative way to reference one of the most memorable Easter eggs of its era. I'm always a big fan of games that manage to turn the tables on the player's agency in a way that doesn't feel contrived or unfair, and taking Samus's suit away is one of the best examples. And when you finally get it back, the surge of power you get from running around the ship and screw attacking all those annoying space pirates is just a superb moment.
Overall, as an introduction to one of the most consistent series in video games, Zero Mission delivers on every level. For me, I think it's probably the most successful remake of its kind, up there with RE2. It's one of the best games you can beat in a single sitting, so if you can spare a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, this is one you definitely shouldn't miss.
More than anything, Zero Mission is punchy and to the point: it doesn't waste your time with red herrings, barren open areas, or needless difficulty spikes. The Chozo statues that mark your map are a subtle addition to the series's usual blueprint, but they're actually one of the best design decisions in the game. They give newbies some much-needed direction - especially once the game opens up - but experienced players can forgo the hint and sequence-break as much as they desire.
Zero Mission isn't shy about borrowing its basic design directly from Super Metroid - even handing you some familiar power-ups right as the game ends - but as a whole, I would say that it works better as the archetypical Metroid experience even more than the classic that birthed it. Super Metroid is an all-time great game, but it has a lot of sharp corners that you can get caught on, especially if you aren't versed in the somewhat idiosyncratic approach of the series.
There's nothing like the "noob bridge" or the mandatory shinespark tunnel in Zero Mission, and while those make sense in context, that decision is probably for the best. The smoother controls and more functional map help a lot, too. As with all the Metroid games, I was pleasantly surprised at how difficult some of the final puzzles were during my 100% run, but none of them felt unfair.
Like fellow genre standout Aria of Sorrow, Zero Mission's triumph is mostly in the small details rather than any individual facet of its design. This is just a damn good game through and through.
That said, the final sequence is legitimately one of the best surprises in video games, and an extremely creative way to reference one of the most memorable Easter eggs of its era. I'm always a big fan of games that manage to turn the tables on the player's agency in a way that doesn't feel contrived or unfair, and taking Samus's suit away is one of the best examples. And when you finally get it back, the surge of power you get from running around the ship and screw attacking all those annoying space pirates is just a superb moment.
Overall, as an introduction to one of the most consistent series in video games, Zero Mission delivers on every level. For me, I think it's probably the most successful remake of its kind, up there with RE2. It's one of the best games you can beat in a single sitting, so if you can spare a few hours on a Sunday afternoon, this is one you definitely shouldn't miss.