This review contains spoilers

i absolutely adore the original game to pieces and i vividly remember watching that September 2019 nintendo direct and jumping off the couch screaming when i saw motherfucking Francis York Morgan show up. it was like a dream come true, one of my favourite wacky video games somehow getting a sequel.

unfortunately, it was a genuinely straining experience to play. the story here just does not hit. the first game is largely a Twin Peaks S1/2 ripoff but it has a ton of charm and ends up being its own thing by the time the credits roll that left a lasting impression on me. Greenvale felt well realized, it felt fun to explore and had a breadth of characters that were exciting and memorable. There are so few characters in DP2 and most of them are stock asset models (INCLUDING THE MAFIA CITY GUY.) in terms of the few actual characters in this one, Patti steals the show. She's great, every time her and York talk is amazing and is far and away the best material in this game. there are hardly any other memorable characters, and some of them are memorable for not good reasons. like the horribly written trans character who is also an incest for some fucking reason (can someone please stop letting Swery write trans characters please), Patti's dad who is cool until he's evil at the very end for a very poorly defined reason, magical voodoo man plot device, and the wacky lol hotel clerk. the eccentricity of DP2 often feels forced, hollow - likely because there is nothing else of substance here. There aren't many people in the town and said town does not feel nearly as alive and fun as Greenvale did, which is fucked considering the difference between the towns on the outside. also helps that DP1 didn't run at consistent sub-10 FPS and look ungodly ugly - it's become part of the weird narrative surrounding DP1 that it was always ugly and performed badly but that's not really true. it was basically a PS2 game on 360, but it ran decently and looked good for what it was and when it was. DP2 looks like a asset flip phone game that'd be named Gand Thief Automobile. just like those kinds of asinine games for sewer people to enjoy, DP2 for some reason ads in stuff like crafting mechanics! the shooting sections of DP1 are arguably its lowest point, but the action bits here are just pathetic. copy-pasted hallways with no real set-pieces or cool enemies or interesting scenarios or just anything, really. there is NOTHING going on in them and i'm deeply sad to say that's representative of the entire game. i loved Deadly Premonition but i wish this game never came out. it was nice seeing York again, the future bits and Patti are fun, but it wasn't worth it. also seriously why the fuck does he keep trying to write trans characters?

Reviewed on Feb 11, 2021


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