Possibly the most fun I have playing as a character in a video game. Oh, what's that? The camera's bad? The music (especially towards the end) is repetitive? Tiny-Huge Island in general? Easy to overlook when you're chaining long jumps and careening around the various open stages with the sloppiest grace imaginable. I highly recommend going for 100%, THEN replaying to see how you can better utilize Mario's moveset to get the stars more efficiently. Trust me, your third eye'll open and you'll become like me: Doomed to replay this classic once a year forever more!

https://www.romhacking.net/translations/6181/ Just letting folks know there's a translation available now!! I'll update with my own thoughts when I get around to playing it.

Ever feel like a whole game is designed purely for you and your taste in gameplay, aesthetics and general vibe that you cannot even fathom giving it anything less than a perfect score? Like in spite of limited-even-for-the-time camera controls, slightly overambitious mechanics and repetitious objective design, there's so much appealing, hyper specific things of interest vying for your attention that you're consistently engaged from the get go, right up to the end screen? The sort of thing that you just know you'll be hyperfixated on for months, listening to the OST on loop, memorizing it's script down to the syllable and doodling all the characters for no other reason than for pure adoration for it all?

Well, I'm pretty sure that's Poinie's Poin for me right now. I'm losing my mind at just how at home I felt playing through this early 00's treasure trove of saturated colour, psychedelic pop/rock/IDM/acid fusion soundscapes and some truly off-kilter writing (with the VA to match)! Like, I keep trying to find some sort of flaw or catch or asterisk here that prevents me from recommending it to other 3D platformer/PS2 game/90's cartoon aficionados, but... no, it really is just that easy! Go play it somehow if this (or any of the other review here) intrigue you, it'll be 6 hours you won't forget!!

It's Coolio To The MAX!!!

This game...

This game conjured many thoughts during its 20 hour duration; often contradictory or in spite of personal preconceived notions, and almost all of a positive nature. It might be hard to believe for some, but this 25 year old relic of SEGA's past still radiates much of the same power that its longtime fans have echoed on forums and comment sections in the years since it's debut...

This game should have been cancelled, viewed only through grainy magazine screenshots, compressed quicktime videos and discussed only by the dedicated via half truths and badly translated articles. And yet it made it out of a hellish development cycle, never compromising it's vision but instead working with the unique tools available on the Saturn to make something truly special. Of note is its sense of scale, often eclipsing things seen on competing systems in concept and, most impressively, in practice. From the towering mutants, war machines and rival dragons that the player regularly grapples with, to the never-ending variety of arcane ruins explored throughout the wastelands, there's always something awe inspiring to discover throughout the game's 4 discs. While its seams and shortcuts are easily noted, they are just as easily appreciated for what was attempted moreso than if the effect were pulled off perfectly. When a 3D camera has an eye for composition this good and an overall art direction that precedes the game itself at this point, what does a short draw distance really matter in the grand scheme of things...?

This game's bold choice to shift genres from its predecessors should have alienated it from the entries that came before, casting it aside as 'the black sheep' of the series and stricken from canon. But, both in terms of gameplay and narrative, it's the perfect finale to the Saturn trilogy. In particular, the way it builds off of it's prequel Panzer Dragoon Zwei is nothing short of miraculous, enhancing that game's visual storytelling in a way that only adds to that game's overall experience (rather than demystifying it, as is all too common with sequels of this verbosity) and evolving its unique scoring system into something just as fitting for a role playing game, without losing the initial appeal. Even the first game gets some love, contextualizing most of it's iconic levels into free roam environments to explore and uncover! In an era of games focused too much on leaving their pasts behind, a game with this much respect for it's heritage and roots is one to respect...

This game, frankly, should have had an awful localization, given its status as a 90's RPG and being one of the very last Saturn games for the system. And though it deviates slightly from the original Japanese (by admission of the developers themselves), it's a shockingly coherent, emotional script that conveys exactly what is needed without notable cuts, errors or over-explanation. It helps, too, in what is either a rare display of respect for it's performances or a simple way to cut costs, the original Japanese voice acting is present and in full force here, greatly enhancing the 'otherworldly' tone of the game for a foreign audience and in general, giving every spoken line that much more gravitas. After all, a narrative that's equal parts enigmatic and exciting requires (ironically enough) just as much clarity and subtlety to work, especially as it begins to twist and turn in an eerily modern way...

This game, however, isn't completely perfect, as easy as it'd be to pretend otherwise. In another unusual shift away from SEGA's other titles, it's a remarkably unchallenging game to get through, making some of it's more climactic battles over sooner than expected and it's numerous, tantalizing combat options unfortunately moot in the process. And for as brusquely paced as this game is, there's a notable slump during the second disc that coincides with the game's admittedly awkward 'on foot' sections taking centre stage. It's fascinating from a world building standpoint, but less interesting overall than the flight exploration and combat sequences it's sandwiched between...

This game was ultimately destined to be an expensive, neglected oddity. A game with this much ambition, developed by a team more interested in creating a memorable artistic experience than a profitable crowd pleaser, on a game system that was internationally sabotaged from the very beginning was never going to be a franchise spawning blockbuster. But it, at the very least, deserves some form of recognition, attention, and a reputation greater than 'expensive, artsy failure'! SEGA should forever be ashamed of themselves for losing the original source code, and given how complex and nuanced the game is, it doesn't seem likely that they'll ever invest big in the full blown remaster/remake it'd require...

This game... There's still a lot to say about this game, and yet to say anything more would be to spoil it's surprises. Its genius gameplay consolidations, its surprising story telling, its astonishing artwork and especially its marvelous music should be well known and influential, old hat and well worn topics by many. It deserves to be played by everyone, from RPG veterans looking for an unconventional setting to immerse themselves in, to action fans who just want to see dragons make shit explode in spectacular fashion. And with recent advances in emulation software (as well as modifications to the aging original hardware), there really is no better time to visit a world that has been long forsaken, yet will live forever in myths and legends...

Ne-rai.

If Square-Enix had half a brain and a lick of sense, they'd stop trying to push whatever dangerously shitty tech bro pyramid scheme they got conned into thinking was a good idea and actually use some of that Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn: Shadowbringers: Skywalker Saga money to do SOMETHING with this forgotten gem. I'd be personally fine with a port (with all the usual M2/Emulator bells and whistles a la save states, widescreen modes, etc.), but I wouldn't be offended at the idea of a remake/remaster of some kind. Hell, a sequel -spiritual or otherwise- would be pretty cool too, perhaps with some of the original creatives behind the first on board? Because you just KNOW they've got ideas cooking for another game like this...

I open this bombastically because, frankly, this game does as well. You're protecting the president of of Bergen from a particularly nasty coup d'état that's unfolding underneath the long shadow of an abandoned space elevator, and it only gets more 80's era Sunrise Studios from there. More important than any plot, however, is that it's an absolute BANGER of an action game too, a real standout mecha game that stands toe to toe with the best of the genre (Zone of the Enders: The Second Runner) by sheer virtue of being virtually rock solid on every front!

Now, I'm probably gonna rustle some feathers by saying this, but Gun Hazard here's the rare Squaresoft game that's not only great to experience, but to actually control and play for the fun of it, thanks to co-developer Omiya Soft's previous experience in the field of 16 bit mecha games (Assault Suits Valken, specifically). It's hard to really compare it to anything else, but the way you throw yourself about, float around and explode shit from carefully considered distances has an almost Cave Story level of bliss to it when you level everything up, feeling remarkably tactile and weighty for a Super Famicom sidescroller and just a delight to work with in general!

Oh, uh right. Better stop gassing the game up now and get to the other reason I began with talks of ports, remakes and sequels, hey...

So many of the actual 'role playing' mechanics here, from leveling up both yourself and your weapons, resource management, teaming up and giving commands to CPU (or P2, with a code) controlled partners of various builds and types, something else I'm probably forgetting, etc. are a just a little too under-cooked to matter in the long run, but enough of a hassle to wonder if something could've been done to make all this fluff more engaging. And I feel, in my heart of hearts, that some sort of rerelease could be a good excuse to flesh some of these ideas out or, at the very least, offer a 'hard mode' where they matter in a truly meaningful way! Because the game's just a BIT too easy as is, like someone was worried that it'd be too difficult for the casual player/RPG fan to beat?

It's a shame, but only a slight one, because that means more people'll get to see a team of expert artists and musicians flex their skills on a system that, at the time of release, was well considered 'last gen'. Yes, it's 1996, and sprite art on the Super Famicom's never been better, with effects mimicking natural sunlight and burning embers being especially stunning against the war torn deserts, the rolling countrysides and the cityscapes reduced to rubble in realtime you play through, stage by stage. And look, when I say that Nobuo Uematsu, Yasunori Mitsuda, Junya Nakano and Masashi Hamauzu manage to produce a sci-fi score well worth listening to outside of the game, who amongst you's really gonna contest it? Yeah, didn't think so...

..But thinking about the game in general, I'm of two minds: It's a DAMN solid action game that more people should ABSOLUTELY play in SOME FORM OR ANOTHER, but it's also a game that's begging to be elaborated on, expanded upon, perhaps realized to it's fullest potential. Letting the imagination wander, it's easy to imagine a timeline where Squaresoft and Omiya Soft went whole hog, having this whole little subseries that stands proud with the likes of Ace Combat and Armored Core, balancing run-and-gun war crimes with a minimum wage that forces you to strictly budget every refuel, reload and weapon purchase... Ah, it'd probably be a top seller on the Dreamcast 2, for sure!

Alas, one can dream... And hope that Square-Enix gets a grip at some point.

Numbers Go Up: A Gothic Horror Tale.

Much more of a Cookie Clicker-style idle game than the screenshots imply, Vampire Survivors boils down the current state of the roguelite genre to it's bare, naked essentials, to such a degree that I'm surprised it even bothered to roll with the 'Castlevania asset pack' look It's got going right now. If your idea of fun is to slowly but surely watch bars fill up and tick boxes to make that process more automated, hours passing by without the stimulus of an ongoing narrative or varying presentation, boy, do I got the game for you! It didn't really do much for me, unfortunately, but I can see why it's gotten so popular as a 'chillout podcast unwind' sort of thing, it's extremely evocative of the flash based things we'd play during a class in the computer lab years ago...

A truly dangerous type of game, especially if you haven't got much time to spare for entertainment!

Haters really aught to take Spring Yard's advice and learn to COPE with the fact they cannot enjoy a classic like this B-)

...Nah but for real, thanks to the recent android decompilation, it's nice to finally beat this game after years of 'just not getting it' and quitting in the middle of the second zone. Having that small safety net of saved progress does a lot for playing a game of this vintage for the first time, and now that I know the lay of the land I'm interested in trying it out 'the original way' sometime.

Otherwise? Not much to say that hasn't already been said many times before. The big open stages with ramps and loops really fun; the ones between them tend not no be (Labyrinth Zone is by far the worst set of the lot); Graphics and Music are a timeless aesthetic; Sonic himself is very charming and cool. Well worth the hassle it is to set up!

What starts out as a humble JRPG lampoon quickly becomes an engrossing, utterly unique experience of it's own accord. It genuinely brings tears to my eyes, seeing a game I fell head over heels for as a teen not only hold up a decade on, but have the exact same power over those playing it's very recently English version for the first time.

It's a high recommendation from me, and one best experienced as blindly as possible. Just know to rest often, take your time, and Open the Door when the time comes...

It is what it is, which is an animated, interactive Where's Wally book with some breather minigames between pages. It's not often I felt like cracking one of those open and finding every little secret admittedly, but given how busy I've personally been lately, it's been the perfect thing to mentally wind down to! Very much recommended if you want to stare at a screen and click on things for a while, but much like the books it draws inspiration from, don't expect much to do after every folk has been unveiled? Can't imagine anyone expecting anything less, though...

I don't think it's fair to rate this, as I haven't played nearly enough to rank it amongst my completed list of games, but man... Nothing short of disappointed with Ghost of Tsushima. While I can lay the blame on the game itself for being so vapid to play and Sucker Punch for developing something so milquetoast after the InFamous titles, it's honestly all on me for fooling myself into thinking I'd enjoy an open world game for once. It can be nice to play a game like this every now and then to experience what's in vogue, but it's probably for the best that I dip out now and find something that I like playing wholeheartedly, rather than slog through a 30 hour epic solely because the same development house made games I liked 10+ years ago.

Yeah, sure. It's a fantastic 3D platformer and all, but the addition of an evasive maneuver (complete with bullet time) further cements Kirby as Nintendo's very own hack & slash action series, putting it toe-to-toe with the likes of Devil May Cry and Bayonetta. If they spent a little more time tweaking the ability controls to allow for at least a couple more moves (as well as adding a few more abilities too, like suplex and javelin) and allowing for quicker restarts on level challenges/boss battles, it'd be an indisputable classic of the genre, but as is there's very little that can reach the highest highs HAL Laboratory keeps managing to achieve aesthetically. Not much else to say but, uh, it's the best game to come out in 2022 so far!

Can an incredibly cathartic combat system paired up with the rawest, most unhinged art direction seen yet from Grasshopper Manufacture make up for... everything else about the game? Sure! but I'd be lying if I didn't slightly regret playing this over the numerous other sequels that came out in 2021, each (I imagine) having deeper connections with their forefathers and more thoughtful development of their mechanics and themes than this...

2018

This is probably gonna be one of those games I play every now and then, perhaps getting to the credits after about 2 years or so? Because trying to play it on a regular (weekly) basis was just a bit too repetitive and monotonous, I'm sorry to say. :/ It's genuinely got fun combat and gameplay, but it's let down by bland level design and a sense of variety that's drip fed a little too slowly for my liking.

See you in a couple years then, once I beaten the damn thing!

See, I usually love the WarioWare games with all my heart, but unfortunately this one missed the mark! :(

Building the titular microgames around multiple characters and their unique movesets sounds like a great idea, considering how large and varied the cast has gotten, but in practice? It felt less like a rapid fire smorgasbord of ideas and more like... a rapid fire series of sidescrolling platforming challenges? And, realizing that, it kinda drained a lot of the fun and surprise out of the experience as a whole, considering that so many of these challenges/characters felt identical mechanically. The novelty wore off well before the credits rolled, which is exactly the sort of thing you want to avoid in this sort of genre...

So much of this game felt similarly half hearted, as well. The surprisingly listless script really sucks the life out of the multiple, monotonous cutscenes during the game's dull story mode. A weird lack of variety in the minigame graphics, which feature a noticeable amount of reused assets between minigames (and not in a 'hidden lore/narrative' way, like in past entries). An online mode that honestly feels more like an obligation than anything with passion put into it? It's such a shame, considering how otherwise lively and charming the presentation as a whole is. the UI work is so quirky-yet-clear, and I can never get enough of the bizarre soundscape the series as a whole has created for itself!

...I just wish it were in a better game than this. It's hard to be spontaneous after nearly two decades of existence, and no doubt COVID-19 impacted it in some way, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't leave me feeling a little disappointed overall. Here's hoping they don't rush out a Rhythm Heaven in the same vein, ey...

It's more of the same speed focused 3D platforming from the first game (which is still very good, btw), but comes with a couple of more open ended bonus levels that wind up being a ton of fun in their own right. It's really fun seeing that (usually tedious) collect-a-thon style of play boiled down and trimmed to its barest essentials, with objectives taking no more than 30 seconds to clear and stages small enough to explore with little fuss! I might prefer it over the more linear approach of the main campaign, even if the checkpoint system isn't quite built for it... Maybe something to fix in a future endeavour?