Subsonic steps bound off of idyllic tiles, a steadfast one-two sprint. Clasped tightly in his hand, divine intervention is executed by the thunderclap of .500 magnum, a heavenly send-off alternating between the gentle coaxing of automatic fire and the definitive blade of retribution. Closing in, denizens of hell launch bioluminescent bombardments, lethal brimstone sending you down a path 10,000 feet under. As if born to die, the demons are dispatched as quickly as they rise, beings materialized, analyzed, and pulverized within nanoseconds. Speed and focus become one, repetitions on idealized concepts pointing towards sublimity. Your holy arms holstered, your sanctified sword sheathed, you cast your sight upon diamond excellence, an eternity encapsulated in the blink of an eye. Now, beyond the safety of three-round bursts and lead ripostes, you see her.

Her heliotrope hues leave psychoactive cigarette burns; if true angels drive one to madness, her presence in Heaven is well established. Like sewing needles piercing taut eardrums, her voice spikes out, an aural trepanation. More lethal than chambered rounds and heavy ordinance, she implants in your brain the same innate fear that courses through you as you enter convention halls, the same fight-or-flight micropanic as the first step within a college’s Japanese Culture Club, for she is the eidolon of modern otakudom. When you breach the seal on Neon White’s world, what resides underneath isn’t the long-forgotten Y2K Japanimation mecca, but a puréed distillation of the wretched refuse of anime fandom, the Anitwitter and r/animemes congregation speaking in post-post-ironic references, where every man is either a razor-edged twink or a hulking himbo, and every woman either an e-girl yandere or a wannabe mommy-dom that covets humanized mediocrity. Buried under the pretense of being “by freaks, for freaks”, the reality of Neon White puts you in the nightmarish scenario of living through the dreams of the most typical of indie weeb softboys.

Such is the loop of Neon White: for every moment of precise platforming bliss, an hour of Young Thotticus making your amygdala fire on all cylinders, a century of watching history’s straightest couple verbally hate-fuck, an eon of remembering Tumblr-Sexy-Man-ified Junkrat saying “you were my Sasuke!”, an eternity of knowing that the core message of the game is that you have a moral imperative to forgive those who abused you in life, lest you literally go to Hell. Both sides of the equation, fraught and unstable, struggle to maintain a semblance of balance.

When Ben Esposito, Enemy of the People, claimed this project as a game “for freaks”, it masks the reality of what Neon White stands for. Decked in the style of the forums of yesteryear, Online Signature UI and Neocities buttons intact, with a heart beating to the 200bpm pulse of breakcore, the aestheticism of pre-Web 2.0 culture is broken by the asphyxiating smog of The Modern Anime Fan. Sincerity and passion die at the cross of venomous disingenuity, nailed down by ironic detachment and love in the key of “Waifu of the Month”. The work of Angel Matrix, the latest in rebrands of Esposito's predictable shtick, axes even the most optimistic of readings: Neon White is the new face of pretension, wearing the oh-so-relatable mask of an adored time for the sake of drawing attention, not out of love, nostalgia, or passion. Soullessness masquerading as soulful.

and someone please tell the writers that run-on sentences don’t read as like, relatable or quirky. It just looks bad. It’s like, your job to Make Text Read Good. come on.

Reviewed on Jun 25, 2022


35 Comments


1 year ago

Goddamn man you should rewrite the bible
good stuff

1 year ago

you say "tumblr sexymanified junkrat" as if junkrat isnt already primo tumblr sexyman material

1 year ago

You absolutely knocked this one out of the park, incredible stuff!!!!

1 year ago

Holy fucking based
absolutely brilliant

1 year ago

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1 year ago

Gotta be in 6th grade to not respect the Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom Server Kill Event smh.

Great review btw roxy.

1 year ago

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1 year ago

As the biggest Faceball 2000 fan on Backloggd, I think this review kicks ass and takes names.

1 year ago

while i dunno if i would throw ableist terms like "smoothbrain" around, I gotta say I am really confused at the pushback to the writing of this review? the prose is undoubtedly a bright shade of purple but that is by no means a bad thing. writing is an art, not a science, and it isn't about something as simple as just "please express your opinion on this computer game in as concise a manner as possible". the writing here is beautiful whilst also clearly expressing the author's intent. if you don't like it fair enough but to treat flowery language as in and of itself an issue speaks to a kind of self-defeating disinterest in critique as art in and of itself, and if you think that, what you even doing on this site lmao

1 year ago

One of the best reviews on this site.

1 year ago

...straight up didn't really think about the connotations of what i was saying, so i definitely take that back. being annoyed with someone isn't an excuse for ableism, and i apologize for that.

1 year ago

Good review, write how you want to write. Pretty sure Halo person is a troll anyway.

1 year ago

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1 year ago

Lmao

1 year ago

choke

1 year ago

Roxy this review (and the rest of your reviews) rule, the haters can die mad

1 year ago

i simply wish they would just say "mucho texto" and leave me alone

1 year ago

i am late to the party but commenting in support of my oomfie Roxy who is a talent and cool and I think you do a lot in general for the creative voice of the culture in my friend list here

1 year ago

Roxy we all love and support you!!!!! You're one of the reviewers I look up to a ton!!!

1 year ago

i like the way you write, but i have a question: what did esposito do to deserve being called an enemy of the people? i know absolutely nothing about him, but a friend of mine gifted me this game and i think it looks cool, but i am a bit anxious about the gift and how i may feel about the game given the harshness of some of the reviews here on backloggd. i'm not gonna be too bothered if the writing here is just superficially influenced by suda51 or whatever... is there some bigger context i'm missing? you tout sincerity and passion, and i'm with you there, though i think irreverence also has its place.

1 year ago

Using big, fancy words in order to make your review sound more sophisticated and smarter than it really is doesn't automatically make it good, and if you can't take the criticism then maybe writing reviews isn't for you.

1 year ago

@pearcandy if u take backloggd reviews seriously you need to re-evaluate your priorities. if you think a place is not for someone cause you think they write reviews wrong maybe u should consider logging off for good :)

1 year ago

I would trust the friend of yours rather than randos on backloggd

1 year ago

@zenoslime ben esposito's previous game, donut county, was originally absolutely filled with blatant and egregious examples of cultural appropriation derived from Hopi culture. this received some well-deserved criticism, and esposito did in fact file off the most egregious elements of this in the game, but also in the view of some used the story of him changing that stuff as part of a cynical puff-piece redemption story to market the game. he's also just a very divisive writer in general, and there is a growing contingent of people who are weary of his stuff.