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Psychonauts 2
Psychonauts 2
The World Ends with You
The World Ends with You
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix
Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VII

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Final Fantasy VII Rebirth
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Mar 14

Elden Ring
Elden Ring

Feb 08

Doom Eternal
Doom Eternal

Feb 05

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC
The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC

Feb 03

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky
The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky

Jan 05

Recently Reviewed See More

(This review has no spoilers beyond referencing events that were in the original Final Fantasy VII to begin with, and the names of some minigames.)
Anyone can see the reviews I've written in 2024 so far. Everyone can see how often this game came up in them, as a goalpost on the horizon. The original Final Fantasy VII is displayed loud and proud in my five favorite games on my profile. I spent $391 total on the collector's edition with the enormous Sephiroth statue, and when the shipment got delayed I paid full $70 for a digital copy so I wouldn't have to wait around. Final Fantasy VII Rebirth has meant everything to me for months upon months.

And I still couldn't have anticipated how much it means to me now.

It should be said first: I was not expecting to make a spoiler-free review. I was expecting the ending to fundamentally alter my brain chemistry and make me question my own reality the way Remake did, leaving me with endless things to talk about. But other than different variations of "oh I really loved that detail," I... shockingly have nothing to say. It came and went, and I see the direction we're headed for part 3. That much, I also could not have anticipated.

...it's almost daunting, figuring out where to start with this game. Probably the best place would be my "Materia and music" critiques from my short review of Remake. Happy to report, the devs were on the same page as me. The music is as drop-dead gorgeous as ever, though my personal "fan remix" gripe remains. And yet I must say again: that was the best decision they could have made. Sure, I may only really go back to listen to the original J-E-N-O-V-A, but would I like to live in a world where the boat fight against Jenova Emergent just used the same Quickening song from Remake? To not have that absolutely HORRIFYING new version? No. Never. The Materia system, though...
Hohohohohoho, baby. It is with greatest pleasure that I scream from the hills that the Materia system has finally returned to its original flourishing depth, through little else than volume increases. With the two key inclusions of three party formation shortcuts (which, by the way, Cloud's no longer locked in after you complete the main scenario- just in case someone who played the game didn't notice what the game DOESN'T TELL YOU FOR SOME REASON) and every character "participating" in most battles fixes arguably the largest incompatibility present in the original VII's design: the clash between the party and their Materia. With no real point slotting Materia on anyone other than your three active members, it became a matter of optimizing the three Materia loadouts you were to have in battle and swapping out the characters using said Materia as your whims decreed. And while I liked that- it made swapping party compositions to get different characters in cutscenes more often a viable tactic- everyone's at a moment's notice in Rebirth.
Meaning everyone gets AP all together.
Suddenly, tactics spring to mind. Perhaps build three unique teams with loadouts that complement each other well? Or perhaps build a catch-all team and let the others carry everything that's not maxed out in order to grind? Do you want to buy another Revive Materia to make a second viable party with Raise in case you ever want to swap around characters in the middle of a dungeon or Hard mode trek, or are you going to pinch those pennies and rely on only one? Maxing out the Materia doesn't give you a level-one spare anymore, so it's a real choice to make. Every last option is real, present, WACKY as all hell (thank you holy Lifestream for giving me back my strange and scrunkly enemy skills I love Plasma Discharge so much), viable, and varied.

(...I call absolute bull and believe that Phoenix's Rebirth Flame should revive all downed party members, INCLUDING the summoner whose death triggered the move's activation, but little use wallowing over petty grievances.)

The unique skill system from Remake was what I was most unsure of how it would be different- or if it would be at all. Giving everyone character-specific utility and moves is fun, certainly a concept with infinite growth and potential, but in which direction it would go was anyone's guess. Thankfully, not a single person guessed correct on how good it got- without replacing green and yellow Materia outright, which surprised me greatly. Individual spells still pack more of a punch than you remember, every time you use them. Trying to chip away at a boss's weak point with physical or even magic-oriented weapon skills might be a nightmare, until I remember to try Fira and it goes down in one hit. And yet their potency is never outclassed by the weapon skills' utility- no items and no easy MP recovery in Hard Mode, despite my reliance on weapon skills overall, is a key point of difficulty because weapon skills rarely match the raw output a good Thundaga can pack. Same with the new Folio-based elemental skills, their healthy utility is weakened by suboptimal potency. It's all choices and freedom- same as the original FFVII- and yet with more strategy and critical thought than ever. Somehow, they managed a system with both unlimited ways to do everything and anything you want and critical glaring weaknesses you have to carefully choose how to account for. HOW.

The weapon skills branch nicely into the character controls, and WHAT WAS IN BILL'S TRUCK?! Whatever got the party from Midgar to Kalm had some horrifying performance enhancers or something, because everyone (except for Barret) has gotten ABSOLUTELY BEEFY. Tifa's access to the synergy skill system grants her easy access to the air, fundamentally buffing her otherwise-unchanged-but-like-it-didn't-need-to-be physical single-target-annihilation playstyle; Barret gets a dedicated animation cancel for Charge to add just a pinch of spice to an otherwise safe-and-steady game plan (though given his role as simple ranged tank, I'd imagine that was the intent); Yuffie's new abilities and slightly reworked controls make it easier than ever to go into or out of the air and do exactly the kind of move you want, when you want; Cloud got ENORMOUSLY changed with default blade beams and the fundamental rework of aerial combat allowing him to get into the air even easier than Yuffie, along with his new abilities being ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING; and... okay I don't necessarily care for playing as Aerith, her default attacks are just too slow to build ATB for my patience levels, but not even a blind man could look away from her golden throne as the most buffed character since part 1. Radiant Ward being her best Ward across both games, Ward Shift being a fitting and fascinating tool to give such a non-confrontational character, adding Fleeting Familiar AND TEMPEST to her BASIC ATTACKS FOR EFFECTIVELY FREE, the slum drunk got her spotlight and it was a buff circle all along. But what of the new characters? What of Red XIII and Cait Sith?

I'm a Cait Sith main and I don't know how that happened. I'm scared, mom please pick me up game is making me love to play as funny Scottish cat.
To be actually detailed, Red XIII's entire game plan being around blocking and tanking attacks is incredibly fitting for his character ("I'm a big boy, not some child, watch me take this! See? I didn't feel it at all!"), and the amount of skills that make different use of his Vengeance is something that kept surprising me all the way to the end. Depleting the gauge for a strong attack, for a party-wide Haste cast, for an unexpectedly-strong PARTY HEAL, letting Red XIII get smacked in the snout is the best outcome for everyone and he became my tank-healer hybrid for most of the game. Cait Sith, by proxy, is... simply amazing in every way. I love him. I love his whimsical animations full of life, I love the way Mog looks (I'm still calling his steed Mog and not just "moogle" like the game wants YOU CANNOT MAKE ME) and animates, I love his adorable battle quotes, I love how they really did make him whack people with a megaphone while also giving him magic and projectile options by making him "sing" into it to make great mileage out of the concept, I love how random he can get with all-positive outcomes to make for the most chaotic experience I've ever had, I just love him. I don't know how you're going to die, God doesn't know how you're going to die, but the funny cat has got the die. So you're going to die.

But thankfully, the developers remembered how much of FFVII's appeal was derived from things that weren't combat. The Gold Saucer is back, the minigames are back, soooooooooo many minigames pepper this world and do so many strange and funny things that often loop back around to combat or just give you a damn fun time. Queen's Blood is obviously the biggest standout, finally giving the world of FFVII a card game like its PS1 brethren had, and I love QB far more than Triple Triad or Tetra Master. It's addicting, every NPC that plays it is memorable and silly in their own way, the story gets genuinely engaging and fleshes out this world, it gives us back Red XIII doing the Scooby-Doo bit, deck-building is fun, the challenges in Costa del Sol and the Saucer are fun, it's simply exemplary on all fronts. The Saucer's general selection is top-notch as well; turning the Chocobo races into Mario Kart is simultaneously the best decision anyone has ever made and the worst decision that could have been made for these poor racers, it didn't take much for me or any other veteran to smoke every last one of them like a fat blunt. I'm awful at 3D Brawler, but it's charming as hell; G-Bike is fun with stiffer controls like one of those motorcycle rigs at arcades and an unexpectedly phenomenal song behind it (like wwwwwwwwow it's good); and the Speed Square as a whole felt like I was walking into my deepest memories of Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin. The minigames elsewhere are fun too- time trials with Mr Dolphin, the revamped Fort Condor, Gears and Gambits, Glide de Chocobo, Mog House, Cactuar Crush, they all can get INCREDIBLY difficult but besting them is a fun like no other. Fun fact, I kept procrastinating writing this review this morning because I kept trying at Cactuar Crush stage 3's hard mode. Yes, I am going for 100%, and YES, I am fully aware God can't help me anymore.

But what makes all of these minigames work is the sense that they're filling out this world. And... well, that's the strongest part of the entire game. This world, this planet of Gaea, has never felt so real. The original game thrived off the idea of representations- like miniatures on a D&D graph paper dungeon, this is not meant to be literal because we lack the capacity to do it literally. The idea of a "literal" version, in that sense, of FFVII never seemed possible- and after putting over 100 hours into the game it still doesn't feel real. The whole world is laid out for real in its own map. No matter where you go, your quest tracker will give you an actual distance readout to your next destination that you can travel MANUALLY. WITH NO LOADING. And this speaks nothing of the incredible visuals and art direction, giving the whole planet a richness and presence of place that defined the original and redefines Rebirth. It was always a striking visual to see the city of Junon with that enormous cannon, one to stick in your brain forever, but now it's just... hitting. Again. Despite not actually being different necessarily. It's unbelievable. Exploring this world at the behest of Chadley (whom I WILL defend from the haters with my life, he and MAI are precious) to discover so many unique quests, monsters, lore shreds, and buried treasures was a delight that never had the chance to become repetitive before something new was thrown at me- let alone get old even if it did start repeating ideas. The buried transmuter chips in particular were a delight, the silly 70s cop show music always had me giggling. Choco P.I.'s on the case... Heh.

I... really don't know what else to say. There's probably thousands more things I could go on about, like how turning Avalanche effectively into the Straw Hat Pirates (this outside-the-law chaotic good whirlwind of hijinks and dysfunctional found family dynamics) was the best decision humans have ever made, or how every interaction between these wonderful characters had me on the verge of closing the game just so I could take a moment and gather my screaming emotions, or I could have just structured this review not like the disparate ravings of a madman... but I just don't care.

I could never care when Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is this. Damn. Good.

Hardly a real review, I have 28 hours into my first run of Elden Ring which I always planned on dropping when Final Fantasy VII Rebirth came out anyway... I swear, it was never a matter of anti-Elden Ring bias- only "Rebirth is going to eat my life and I welcome this rapture-esque fate whole-heartedly" bias. But since Godrick now grafts his ashes to the winds, and great Tarnished warrior Bizzle Epistole rides off to reach Raya Lucaria... eventually... I have a lot I need to say. A lot I want to say.

Because it is so beyond liberating to say I get FromSoftware now.

For years upon YEARS, I stayed away from Dark Souls for an endless list of reasons. Hard fantasy was never really my thing (I'm coming around slowly), why would I want to play a game that hates me, isn't it all just stupid rage bait, and on and on and on. But now that I've been forcefully brought before a FromSoft game with an open mind, I realize I was wrong about so much. Putting aside Elden Ring's open-world innovations to the formula (the ability to run away from something dangerous and come back stronger after doing other stuff, to be precise), as this first-impressions piece is more about broad genre strokes than a dedicated review, this is a formula that's dedicated to trial and error. You encounter, you examine, you die, you return in PB time to where you died, you overcome, you die again. And what makes this work is how... forgiving it is. Not of each mistake, GOD no you'll get ripped to shreds in five seconds for breathing the wrong way, but of the making of mistakes. The most you lose is currency, which is both easy enough to recover if you're paying attention and easy enough to re-accrue if you have the time and patience. For the most part, the game is an accommodating practice space. The game feels like it's actively telling me "it's okay. Take this at your own pace, no one's going anywhere. We know that swamp is evil, but once you have it down you have it down forever." I didn't expect Souls to feel so... cozy.

And you do have it down forever. Pattern recognition is your everything, as you decide when to attack with what weapon to stagger out of this one specific move as opposed to the moves you can afford to guard counter which is also opposed to the moves you absolutely HAVE to dodge-
yeah there's a lot. But it slowly gets memorized, and soon you could do what once had you taking a walk to clear your head and refresh blindfolded. That feeds into the increasing speeds- if it takes you an hour to practice a small dungeon that's objectively five minutes of travel time long, you'll be able to blitz that five minutes on command to get to either a new Grace or the next challenge. The process may start over from there, but you've unequivocally got this now! Adding to that the brilliant shortcut design (yes I totally get the FromSoft shortcuts now) to make it somehow even smoother, and it's overall a mastery of encouraging design.

I'm so happy I finally get it. Hope you FromSoft aficionados have fun dunking your summer into Shadow of the Erdtree. Bizzle Epistole will for certain continue his journey through the Lands Between...


...eventually.

Having played the Rebirth demo, I wanted to properly express my mixed feelings on Remake in succinct fashion- if only to set the record straight before the main course arrives. I... like Final Fantasy VII Remake fine enough overall. No more, no less.

The writing of these characters, seeing my fourth-favorite game come to life the way it does here in such fleshed-out detail, is nothing short of perfect. That extends to the visuals, voice cast, combat design, side content and prevalence of interactivity and minigames as a whole. Everyone who fell so deeply in love with Remake, I agree with them; the spirit of Final Fantasy VII is here...
pretty much. And that's for both better and worse in my eyes.

What that means boils down to two major factors: Materia and music. (I swear the alliteration was a coincidence and not me fishing for problems in a dry well, please trust me on that). The music in Remake is extremely complicated for me to think about. My personal feeling is that the songs feel like fan remixes- in the best possible way I could mean, but still. They don't feel like the original Uematsu masterpieces, they feel like hyper-specialized versions of those original songs meant to fit more specific situations and tones. It's not just the Turks theme anymore, it's the loud and brash version you hear when it's time to throw down and a slow version for the cutscene where the group reflects in Shinra HQ. It's not just one boss theme anymore, each battle has its own unique arrangement of that original track to suit itself. And this isn't a bad approach- far from it, this is probably better than the best decision anyone could have made- but there's a reason the original game is so prominent on my Spotify, while Remake gets Hollow and just a handful of others.

As for the Materia, I hesitate to even call this Remake's fault, but it must be said. The original FFVII thrived as a gameplay experience off of its customizability. The ability to start from nothing but a basic attack command and grow to having eleven basic commands and submenus within submenus of gimmicks and summons and god-knows-how-many-more little options is the most intoxicating form of progression in RPG history, and an enormous part of why I love it so much. Remake provides the perfect template to create that feeling again in an action space, but... we're just in Midgar. They aren't giving us all that many options yet. Silly as it sounds, the game feels lesser because it's trying to be its own whole and yet doesn't get as crazy as the original. It's entirely personal, that much I understand, but I can't help but feel myself straining against the game and praying for sixteen more options to be in my menu where there just aren't yet. I can't count on them to come in this game at all. Remake is a template, not the full potential unleashed.

All the criticisms aside, the amount of unique Materia in the Rebirth demo alone alongside the piano and literally everything else about it prove that my pre-order of the Collector's Edition was a good choice and that my faith shall be rewarded as we WILL be delivered unto the Promised Land OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MY GOD I PHYSICALLY CANNOT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT