TheShayminz
155 Reviews liked by TheShayminz
if your parents got you this instead of pokemon, then yes, they did divorce because of you, and no, they did not love you
Maybe videogames can't be art
The creative experience is knowing, at any time, you have the potential to put a YIIK into the world. Harrowing.
Mega Man 7
1995
this game was really fun the end boss was quite difficult but when I finally beat it, I had probably my biggest reaction to beating a mega man game so far. of course I enjoyed proto mans inclusion and hope to see him more cause he is so cool
Mega Man 8
1996
JUMP, JUMP, SLIDE, SLIDE, DIE, DIE
Mega Man 8
1996
"Hey, Bass! Why must I fight you?! We are not enemies!" - Megaman, speaking to the robot that was created for the sole purpose of defeating him
Megaman 8 is.. just okay, for the most part. I can definitely say there is a ton of charm in its art style and music. The spritework and animations are extremely fluid and so well done, and the toy-like art direction along with the more laid-back OST compared to its NES predecessors gives MM8 a really chill vibe that really sets it apart from its brothers.
..I wish all of that was done in a much better game, though. MM8 is filled with nothing level design that just makes it feel like you're going through the motions, sometimes interrupted by hit-or-miss gimmicks. It can get kinda fun in stages like Aqua Man and Search Man, but then other times I feel absolutely nothing going through these stages, unless MM8 flips a coin and decides instead of boredom it decides to make me suffer. I saw a glimpse of hell and it was called Wily Stage 1. I do like how the decision to split the game into two halves means the developers could take advantage of the Robot Master weapons you gained in the first half, though. Stages like Search Man makes neat use of it. Mini-bosses and regular bosses in this game also don't fare much better, with them being so easy to take down it's not even funny. You can absolutely wail on bosses like Frost Man and Sword Man and take them down in no time flat.
It's a shame, it really is. I desperately wanted to like this game as it caught my eye visually, but all I got was a game that just left me so, incredibly bored. Megaman 7's level design and boss roster feel so well done, that MM8 just feels like a total disappointment in comparison. Even moreso when I remember it came out the same year as Megaman X4.
Mega Man 8
1996
There is a special place in Hell for the genius who made the rocket sled portions of the game.
Mega Man 8
1996
Not really a game I found a whole lot of enjoyment in, it's pretty cool that it really goes and trying experimenting, so it's just a shame that basically every experiment SUCKS. I can't really hate it either at the same time though because another attempt at mildly shaking up the formula in a series that had struggled so strongly with that is something I do have a modicum of respect for, even if it really only takes things so far! The worst aspect of the game is easily the level design and how it feels as if it entirely mishandles any sense of aesthetic alongside that. The game seems to sacrifice cohesion for an attempt at bringing more variety into the fold, but almost all that present variety comes in the form of a variety of gimmicky distractions that ultimately do nothing but detract from the experience.
The worst example of this is the rocket sled in the Frost Man and Dr Wily stage that briefly transforms the game into a fast moving autoscroller that really highlight the somewhat less precise than ideal controls mixed in with just entirely distracting from the more tightly designed platforming sections and killing any sense of momentum the level had. The structure of the stages in general also tend to be pretty bad, following a pattern of introducing 2 or 3 unique stage gimmicks and then instead of ending once you get to complete this, then you usually have to go through a harder variant of those same 3 ideas that are almost always presented near-identically. This destroys any sense of actual progression within each level too, gives it a very artificial quality to it that gets rid of the sense of adventure and discovery that often otherwise comes with the games.
On their own, weird, gimmicky and half-baked ideas being scattered throughout the levels wouldn't be a big dealbreaker, but it's the fact that every single one of these extra ideas feel so obnoxious that really kills it. So little of the game feels outright difficult as much as just annoying, just a million little things that inconvenience you, whether it's parts of a level being a sprawling labyrinth, or the player being forced to blindly choose teleporters to move forward, it all leads to an experience that's not only uneven, but full of wide gulfs of some of the worst Mega Man gameplay out there. The big exception to this for me is Sword Man's stage, which has a neat little structure involving little challenge rooms based around certain subweapons that all get utilised in some pretty creative ways to really elevate the core element of the game revolving around stealing enemy abilities.
In general this is just something I do quite like about the game in general, the way the 2nd set of stages end up utilising the various abilities you gain in the first half extremely effectively to provide this additional layer of complexity to what you need to do. There are also other positive qualities to be seen too, such as the number of QOL improvements such as replenishing ammo on death making things far smoother overall, and the fact that the voice acting is horrible but in a way I find really entertaining. The boss fights for the most part also really do it for me, with almost all of them being very manageable but challenging fights that never feel truly unreasonable, with certain dynamics, such as Tengu Man having a weakness to a weapon that only hits things on the ground, providing an additional sense of nuance to the battle.
It's then even more of a shame that the weapons you pick up from the bosses are largely underwhelming thanks to the levels not really including too many instances of being able to utilise them to actually get much of an advantage beyond the moments that explicitly require you to use them, which takes away from some of the complexity from the stages when the weapon selection you have barely has any bearing on how you'll approach it all. I'm also just not a big fan of the aesthetic here, a ton of it feels a bit too clean and cartoony, each location disparate from everything else that's going on and lacking in terms of finer detail that really stands out. Probably doesn't help that there's practically NO enemy variety at all, with most of the levels even lacking a couple of the more unique, one-off ones that help play into the level themes further, instead just spamming the same 5 or 6 throughout the game and occasionally throwing in something extra that actually feels like it belongs in the stage.
There's just so much wrong with this game to me that I genuinely am unable to fully enjoy it, with stuff like the charming anime styled cutscenes and the cool robot master designs not being enough to fully get on board with it. I still think it's better than MM6 because at least this one goes for some more unique ideas, even if they do suck, and I did really enjoy certain aspects of this here and there. It's just not enough to put up with how badly thrown together a lot of the game ends up feeling as a whole, and it made me once again question why I'm even still playing these games when none of them have gotten above a 7/10.
Mega Man X
1993
Skipping one hundred years in the future is an act of cowardice done to prevent the real fans from getting what they want: Dr. Light x Dr. Wily yaoi
Diablo IV
2023
immerse urself in perfect stasis courtesy of the insatiable breast milk fiends at blizzard. u will always be two levels below the evilest demon in your area. u will respec and upgrade and +5% Crit Chance your third eye wide open ... the ideal video game budget is gigantic enough to eliminate poverty in a major metropolitan area. the ideal video game is a lifestyle choice, like equinox or erewhon. the ideal video game is a subscription to more of itself ... forever ... ! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON! I LOVE HOLDING THE X BUTTON!
edit: its august 7 and im still playing. i keep hitting X girl... they got me — they got me — Its too late ...