Janky to control (on the Wii at least, I haven’t played the Switch version), every bit as patronizingly handholdy as you’ve heard. Dungeons are samey and predictable, it has some of the worst boss encounters in the series, several of them get recycled a couple times, the stamina system is pointless and annoying and honestly, I don’t really like the story that much. The characters are charming, but the plot feels like it’s going in circles. When I think Zelda, I think adventure, I think exploration. This feels so guided and linear and monotonous. I can pretty confidently call it my least favourite of the modern Zeldas.

That all said, I love the art style. And Golden King Robot George Washington. And I wish bomb bowling would come back.