You know how people complain about Kid Icarus: Uprising or The World Ends With You inflicting hand pain? Drill Dozer is that game for me. Claw gripping the GBA just sucks, even on the original wide model, and it taints the whole experience to the point where I just can't enjoy it on its home system. Any game where ibuprofen is a required component is a no-go.

"Play it on the GameBoy Player!", I hear you say, and I have! That solves the hand pain but then you're left with the game, which isn't all that great. It's slow, clunky, and constantly sounds like a dental drill. It has great music, but in the climactic moments you'll barely be able to hear it because, you know, drill. The charm of the game is in the visual spectacle and the constant rumble but man, you can do so much better on the GBA. Wario Land 4 is right there.

I gotta play something good soon or I'm gonna lose my marbles.

Nobody is invalidated, but nobody is right.

You don't need me to explain why MGS2 is a banger so I won't waste your time. In terms of actual hands-on gameplay it's a bit lacking, but you're here for Kojima and this is peak Kojima.

What struck me this time around is how its focus on "context" is somehow, unfortunately, more relevant now than ever. I don't know if this is the result of pure coincidence or supernatural prescience, I just know it hits. Death Stranding's themes surprised a lot of people but its narrative framework was here over a decade before.

It's also genuinely hilarious throughout. Inspired decision for a game with such complex ideas to also give you a button so Raiden can (internally) talk shit mid-conversation whenever you want. Kojima is king.

I think this game has a weird learning curve and it has some odd spikes of difficulty here and there, but it grows on me with each playthrough. I love the one sequence nature of it, and it has some pretty tight level design. I like Zwei more in most regards but the challenge of this one is what really sets it apart for me. I wish I felt more for the music, like flight is such an incredible song, the best in video games, but every other song is a bit forgettable to me. I think my favorite level is the tunnel sequence, it's so intense and the boss in that is killer. It's definitely worth learning and beating

podcast fodder. it occurred to me over the course of playing that for four-player couch co-op like this, the mindlessness is a boon. you're supposed to be catching up with your friends and fucking around, not actually invested in the game.

it pulls surprisingly heavily from the original gauntlet with little variation: destroy generators that endlessly spawn, open chests and gates with keys, use potions as AoEs, destroy walls, open other walls. the only other mechanical changes is some light meter management, where you can activate one of three different special abilities depending on the level of the gauge or siphon some off to use a dash-twirl kinda action. other than weaving those in, you'll just be mashing the shoot/attack button, and with the advent of a 3D world and shifting perspective for the game, they've slathered auto-aim all over your toolkit, so there's almost no engagement other than being there to press the button... and if you're close enough to an enemy you'll auto-attack anyway, so who cares.

the main intrigue instead are the variety of environments and stages, each with their own hazards and puzzles to solve. you might rend an arena asunder by pressing a switch, skewing the two halves apart and exposing new corridors in the process. there's moments where you'll rearrange a set of catwalks by pressing a series of switches (although you never have access to more than one at once) to raise and lower them to match your character's height. in some (many) instances, you must painstakingly root out a breakable wall and enter it to press a switch and open a different wall somewhere else. indeed, most of the game consists of finding switches to press to access a new area; it is not uncommon for there to be chains of three to seven switches that lead to each other in the span of a single room. is what the switches activate occasionally cool, giving you a new path through the often intricate area designs? sure. but expect the whole game to follow virtually the exact same loop throughout: mash attack, press switch.

there's occasional gesturing to more of diablo-like system, the style which would quickly eat this series' lunch by the sixth gen, though it often doesn't land given the game's arcade-focused nature. other than adding a leveling and stats system to the original gauntlet experience, there's also this odd loot/power-up component, some of which is random but others of which are actually specific, often obscure unlockables within particular levels. of course, seeing as there's no permanence regarding items beyond keys/potions, these end up being temporary powerups; the thrill of grinding out skorne 1 so that you can get a piece of his armor set feels quaint when faced with the reality that said item will disappear 90 seconds into the next stage you play. as an aside: per the original game you're intended to replenish your health or revive yourself with extra credits, but seeing as this console version does not have that system, dying will kick you back out to the hub with whatever health you had going in. that might seem fine, but if you actually want to replenish to full health, expect to spend a lot of time grinding the first level for the 400-500 in health pickups that are guaranteed. for my final boss run, where I needed my level 60 max of 7000 health after spending most of the game maintaining about 2000, this was quite a chore.

this sega dreamcast version seems like a hodge-podge of each of the other versions of this game. compared to the playstation and n64 versions, which have a different set of levels and a proper inventory system, the dreamcast version serves as a more direct port of the original's levels and item system. oddly enough, it does have the additional endgame levels and skorne refight from the original home ports. it also carries in certain mechanical changes from the game's incremental sequel dark legacy, such as all of the new character classes and a functionally useless block ability; what the fuck is the point of a block in a mostly ranged game where having attack advantage is always a priority to avoid getting flanked and overwhelmed? probably the most bizarre aspect of the dreamcast version is that it runs like dogshit even with only a single player, and it retains the somewhat hideous look of the original game. not sure why the dc wasn't able to handle a relatively low-poly game built for a 3DFX banshee gpu, but I'm going to assume fault on the part of the developers.

still, a podcast game with some cool level visuals has its own appeal. was unfortunately left curious about dark legacy and the later gameplay revisions in seven sorrows. an arcade-style dungeon crawler does appeal to me in a base way, and I appreciate that this was an early attempt at creating an arcade game with a proper progression system (including rudimentary usernames and passwords!). should probably bring some friends along for the ride if I ever get a wild hair to try again.

Crypt of the NecroDancer could be described as one of the most, if not the most difficult (well known) roguelike to get into. That’s not really a subjective statement either; the steam achievements suggest that less than 5% of players have completed what could be considered a “full” (All Zones Mode) run with any character. Whether this is due to the rhythm element, the initial difficulty wall that players inevitably face when they start, or some other reason, what awaits the players who eventually click with the game is undoubtedly an almost unlimited world of mechanical fun and challenge.

Believe me this struggle is not something I’m unfamiliar with myself. I first played this game in 2017, only to struggle with Zone 2 for a while before calling it quits. Despite how much I admired the game, it wasn’t clicking yet, and I wouldn’t give it another shot until early 2023 when a friend of mine was achieving big things in it.

As mentioned earlier, NecroDancer (ND) is hard. Initially, at the least. It will take even a great game player a non trivial amount of time to complete Zone 1 due to the nature of its gameplay. Movement is restricted to the laws of the world, the tune of the tomb… the rave of the grave… the…mix of the….styx… the… script of the crypt? YOU MOVE WITH THE MUSIC RIGHT?! And so do the enemies! If you don’t know what they’re gonna do then I gotta be honest with you buddy, you won’t stand a chance getting past the… the beat of the fleet… of monsters. Pattern recognition is the name of the game here. If the item pool isn’t favouring you, then you’ll need to lock in and make up the difference yourself… or just try again until you get a build that’s really broken. Except not really? OP runs in ND are VERY losable compared to other roguelikes ESPECIALLY depending on which character you are playing. One wrong move at any time can be your unexpected downfall, and trust me you’ll feel the true depth of shame when you lose a run like this.

But it’s made fair and well. ND would not be nearly as successful as it is if there wasn’t plenty of thought and testing put into how smooth it plays. Yes you have to make your inputs on time, but sufficient leeway is given to not make it a complete nightmare. If something catches you off guard you’re given just enough time to think it through and feel like a wiz of a magician after pulling it off. The heartbeat in your peripheral vision helps you notice when you might be losing the rhythm a bit and the red outlines of the beats that i often fail to see due to colourblindness will let you know when the song is almost over. These are just some examples of well thought out features that I feel are a little underappreciated, but go a long way in making sure all of the challenge that the game feeds you is fun and interesting challenge.

How have I come this far without talking about such a fundamental piece of the puzzle? In ND, the soundtrack represents something much more than just the music you listen to; it governs your playstyle and the pace at which you think and analyse. Whether it’s to your taste or not, you gotta admit Danny Baranowsky did a cracking job composing some super catchy tunes that you can’t get too tired of and fit all the individual zones and bosses so very well. I’m no musician but composing these while also being restricted to certain BPMs (and be of sufficient length) to match the intended difficulty must not have been easy. As I like to say however, limitations breed creativity, and that’s undoubtedly what happened here. Personally I love the whole thing, cheers Danny. And if you don’t, then luckily there’s like what, 6 alternate soundtracks to choose from?? Some of those soundtracks done by well known musicians like FamilyJules and Jake Kaufman, even a Danganronpa themed soundtrack (idfk why), if you don’t like any of those either then I’m going to assume you’re just out to cause problems. EVEN THEN, there is an option to insert your own music! It’s a piece of cake just throw your mp3 file in and it’ll calculate the tempo for you and change the gameplay accordingly!
What else? Oh yes, the names of all the tracks are musical puns based on where the track plays, I don’t know how they did that but it’s awesome, my favourite has to be the name for the lobby music, “Rhythmortis”, hehehhehe get it???

Hand in hand with the soundtrack comes everything that completes the style of ND. Unique and creative enemy designs, especially bosses (a freakin chess board dude), good variety in zone theming, a retro feeling art style with some charming cutscenes, iconic sound effects and voice lines, clever items. It’s all just fun and cool, and that’s all that needs to be said.

So you made it, you beat all of the zones with Cadence, probably learned most of the enemies patterns and witnessed her journey. Congrats! It wasn’t easy. As a reward you take a look at steam and realise you've got maybe 5% of the achievements... Right. So, I've barely done anything? Pretty much… Beyond this there are plenty of characters with their own individual gimmicks that will make you rethink how you play the game completely. Some easier than Cadence, but a lot of them harder…horribly harder. This is where the real game begins, rise to the challenge, you got this.

If all of this wasn't enough of a glazing session for how much enjoyment ND has brought me, let me praise the dev team more. ND released in 2015 and still receives updates to this day. It really is Brace Yourself Games’ baby... Bug fixes, balance changes and quality of life updates are always coming in. Two MAJOR content DLCs were released in 2017 and 2022 respectively. And just a couple weeks ago Hatsune Miku jumped into the game with a cool moveset and unique soundtrack. What the fuck?? This community is spoiled!

My friend and I would say there's phases to ND brainrot. At one end you have NecroBabies: players who have yet to beat all of the zones with Cadence, going up to NecroDead: players who have beat all zones mode with most of the characters, and NecroUndead: players who unlock and play Coda (the hardest character (you're a lunatic)). My 200 hours of playtime makes me very NecroDead and NecroUndead feels right around the corner.

Thank you NecroDancer, you really are one of a kind.

Is this what people are talking about when they've become too used to the refined controls and design of modern games and then go back to the prior versions of them? Cause I just got done with Odyssey and holey moley I do not like this. Just like everyone else, I don't like the camera, which often flat-out refuses to let you adjust to an easier angle for yourself, and also (a common trait among all the gamecube games it appears) makes it so pushing the analog left turns the camera right and vice versa without an option to invert. I don't like how everything, from jumping, aiming the nozzle, chasing after goopy Mario and then spraying him, accidentally sliding on goop or slopes that don't look like slopes, leaping high enough to get a nearby ledge, is a struggle. The Petey Pirhana fight in midair in the first world was not difficult per se, but was rather such a chore, so much work when Odyssey's boss fights were snappy and fun. I knew what I had to do but it took so long between Petey's behaviors and the way Mario controls, and I can't imagine how I would have gotten through it if Dolphin didn't have save states (also it figures too, because I recognize Petey in Mario Kart 8 and he's a fuckin asshole in that game too).

But you wanna know what I really don't like about this game? The voice acting. What's it doing here? Mario is still just Charles Martinet hoots and whoops, so what was enhanced by everyone else delivering real voice work to a "why Mario needs to jump on shit this time" story? Take a look at this. First you fight a token baddie and meet your latest sidekick/game mechanic, then you get sent to jail and the Delfino floofers put Mario on trial and make a long compelling case proving him guilty of the crime of polluting the city and sentence him to island arrest till the pollution is finally cleaned up, then in jail FLUDD explains that you were indeed found guilty of polluting the city, and goes into detail that without the precious shine tokens the good floofer people of Delfino can't possibly ever holy shit I don't fucking care. It's a Mario 3D platformer, not Inherit the Wind, wrap it up! And to make matters worse, goopy Mario tries to kidnap peach, spilling the distinct black goopy muck everywhere all the while, and Mario chases him around town, in full view of the floofers. It's now obvious to them that Mario didn't cause the pollution! So what are we doing here?! Look, games don't have to have compelling stories, sometimes there just has to be something there to make the gameplay happen. But if you're going to bother with a more developed story, it's on your ass to do it right!

Compare that to the setup for Odyssey: "Ah, goddamn, looks like bowser kidnapped peach, and also my hat sister! To go get him, we have to collect moons to power my ship and follow him around the world! Got it? Okay, let's go!" Five seconds flat. Now let's go have some fun, collecting souvenirs and outfits, and possessing enemies, and utilizing the very best moveset a Mario game has ever had, wahoo! Meanwhile, there's no fun to be had with your stiff, cold, milquetoast companion here. Man, I hate FLUDD. FLUDD is like if your dopey classmate in fifth grade who reminded the teacher they didn't assign homework yet was programmed into a water-spray robot you can't ever leave. Truly, Mario is in jail, serving a sentence, if he has to complete his adventure with this dweeb.

I played 64 long after the fact, as a grown up, and thought at the time that, despite how important it is in games history, it was awkward to control most of the time, and I didn't like its design of "see this world? now go back into it and do six more chores." I'm glad that back in 2002 Nintendo saw my notes and decided to make it even worse.

Another refinement of the now well-established conventions of the series, this time adding much more accomplished art, better equipment sorting, and, blessedly, MUCH better quest design/tracking. For the first time with these games, I felt like I was on an epic, cohesive adventure rather than randomly wandering across a (cool!) map getting into (exciting!) trouble trying to remember/figure out what to do. Still not at the ceiling of what I feel like this series is capable of with some more menuing tweaks and a stronger narrative, but so far, every single one of these has been a notable improvement over the last and always more and more enjoyable. These games are pretty good! Old CRPGs fun!

Buckshot Roulette is a short and simple game of shotgun Russian Roulette between you and a… thing that calls itself “The Dealer”. The Dealer loads up the shotgun with a random number of shells and blanks, and you each take turns shooting the shotgun at either yourselves or your opponent. If you opt to shoot yourself, your opponent’s turn is skipped. You’re each hooked up to a defibrillator with a certain amount of charges that will bring you back to life if you get shot, but there is a limited number of times the defibrillator can be used. The game ends when either you or The Dealer run out of chances to use the defibrillator.

The game does spice things up a little bit by giving you items at the beginning of rounds that you can utilize to help yourself get an advantage. You can get a knife to saw off the end of the shotgun which causes it to do twice the amount of damage, a magnifying glass which lets you peek and see what round is currently loaded into the gun, handcuffs that prevent your opponent from taking a turn, a can of beer that lets you eject whatever round is currently loaded, and a pack of cigarettes that will restore a chance to use the defibrillator. However, The Dealer is also given these exact same items. This adds another layer of strategy to the game, where you’ll have to think when you want to use the items you’re given, while also considering the items The Dealer has and when they will use them as well.

The game has a pretty cool, yet measured concept. Despite how intriguing The Dealer and the setting are, there isn’t really a narrative to speak of. If you win, you get a results screen and a case full of money. That’s all. The game itself can be figured out pretty easily and beaten in about 30 minutes. The core gameplay, while decent, doesn’t make for something that’s especially replayable in my opinion. I love its low-poly artstyle, and I really dig the techno track that plays in the background. Its presentation in general is really strong and immersive, especially given the game’s setup.

There’s just not a whole lot to this game, which is its only real issue. I had managed expectations going into Buckshot Roulette. I didn’t think that it’d be anything mindblowing considering it’s on sale for $3 on Steam (actually, I guess it technically is mindblowing now that I think about it…). I expected a short, but decent time and that’s exactly what I got. It’s a fun little flavor of the month type of indie game that I do think is worth the $3. Just know ahead of time that you’re really not going to get a whole lot of mileage with it.

Let’s get the worst out of the way first. I can’t stand the character writing and performances in this game. I find a number of characters entirely off putting, some to the point where I would yell at my TV almost every time they spoke their condescension. It’s a small miracle I was able to push myself to play through the entire game.

While there’s a chance that some people may like the writing here, subjectivity and all, some problems relating to this are objectively bad. One example towards the end of the game has you being asked to copy a series of verbal instructions, and if you take more than a literal second to comply, the instruction will be impatiently repeated.

It’s not all bad though. The broad strokes of the story are interesting, and there is the occasional scene that is poignantly portrayed (most often without any dialogue).

The art is the main draw here anyway. Its claymation art style leads to some stunning scenes, but again I would put a caveat on this. Because you’re looking at recreations of physical objects, not the direct photos of the models themselves, something is lost in the physicality you’d normally get from this style. It kind of just looks like any other stylised video game.

Now I don’t think that’s a reason not to explore new creation methods for game assets, but when this game took 10+ years to develop, I’m just honestly not sure this was worth that time investment. I especially think this as you feel the game’s pace being padded out with a lot of slow backtracking.

I hate to sound so critical of something that’s clearly had so much care put into it, especially into the handmade art, but so much just didn’t connect with me. I’d recommend checking it out on Game Pass if you have it available so that you can see if you fare any better than I did with the writing.