So… Fall Guys is basically a free game now, I guess. (Well, I’m currently writing this the same day it went free-to-play, so I should probably clarify that in case someone out there decides to read this anytime in the future) It’s been such an extremely long time since I’ve last played. I went and checked real quick and it was essentially back all the way in 2020, or the ending quarter of 2020 to be more specific. Since I’m practically half a year away from having not played Fall Guys for two whole years, I began to think about my time with it as a whole. Well, this whole shift to the free-to-play model has caused me to put my long gone experiences with it into retrospect, really. Multiple seasons of new exclusive stuff had came and went and I never paid attention to any of it. I never went back to try to earn cosmetics, play in new events, try and get whatever achievements that I didn’t get since then, I never had the idea or even the drive to try any of that at all. Clearly something about it put me off to the point where I ditched it and never looked back. I doubt I’ll ever be keen on playing it again anytime in the future, so I just wanted to say something about it just to get whatever it is that bothered me off of my chest.
I didn’t even really notice my issues with the game back when I started playing it, strangely enough. It was just a simple thing to me for some time back then. I started playing around the whole time it took off in popularity. Most people probably remember that era, right? The turbulent tale of when Fall Guys had a brief moment in the spotlight is likely one of the most notable events in gaming during the very perilous first year of the Covid-19 pandemic. Being one of the handful of games that sort of united us in a brief spree of joy during the upsetting year of 2020. The sort of competition it had with Among Us around that time was rather cute in a way with both of their quirky stylizations and quick rises to fame. However, knowing the intense memetic influence Among Us has to this day should give you a good idea of who won out in that. It’s still a tad strange to think on how Among Us is essentially the game that had indirectly taken Fall Guys’ fame from it but it sort of makes sense considering each game fundamentally. One of the main complaints about Fall Guys was that it had very little to it for very long stretches of time. Among Us never really had this as a major complaint though, even with it also having a quaint amount to its name as well, likely due to Among Us working in a much more erratic way. Extensively playing Fall Guys would be much more likely to give you fatigue on the game in comparison, and it seems like I definitely found that out when I was playing back then. My main influence for playing Fall Guys in the first place was to play with a couple of my friends, and since I really didn’t wanna miss out on being with them, I ended up buying the game at full price. It was an impulse decision that I still rather regret to this day, as it never really paid off as we never played together that often with how quickly we fell out of it. Granted, I played it for quite a lot more than they did but my decision to do so wasn’t entirely out of attachment to the game, and more than likely caused me to grow bitter with it in the end.
But first, in regards to the model shift—no, the whole Epic Games Store exclusivity thing that happened with it along with the new free-to-play model is not where all of my issues come from. Sure, it is something that I take issue with in general as I think it’s an extremely aggressive and unnecessary marketing strategy, but I guess it doesn’t even affect me in particular since I still own it on Steam. (Well I need an Epic Games account to even play the damn thing now for some reason but eh I said earlier that I’m not interested in picking it up again so I guess it still doesn’t affect me lol) My issues with Fall Guys as a whole stem more from fundamental parts about the game. Like, it’s mechanics and gameplay and all that. I think I’d rather go on about that a bit later since I’m more on the topic of the whole free-to-play aspect and how it affected Fall Guys because… honestly? I find the changes kind of dire, in a sense? This is more of me going on about the new changes so pardon me if I get something wrong about these here. For the first thing I’m wondering about, did they just… remove the crowns currency as a whole? Apparently every crown you had before the model shifting was converted into kudos, the main currency, which are more difficult to obtain now, even. The crowns just seem to just be apart of crown ranks now, from what I read. In the place of crowns is a new currency obtainable by paying real money or through progression in the season pass. It might be a me thing but I personally find it really lame that they removed an integral currency of the game that made your victories and progression worthwhile with all of the rare collectable cosmetics that you can obtain with them. Now all of the rare and legendary tier cosmetics have been locked behind this new mostly-paid currency which I just find really lame from a progression standpoint, but it also gives me a sick feeling thinking about a whole paid currency type of thing as a whole.
But enough of my gripes with the new free-to-play model shenanigans, that’s not where my distaste towards Fall Guys stems from anyways. I really want to talk about how the game plays as a whole and why it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve called it this several times before in more secluded chatting areas but I think referring to it as some sort of “struggling simulator” is the best way to get across what I mean about it all. I get it’s supposed to try to emulate a wacky game show type of feel but extending your idea to the games own physics was a questionable extent to take the dedication, to say the least. Sure it may be entertaining to watch some streamer fool around in attempts to come out on top and subsequently have their bean man eat shit to some sort of obstacle but being on the receiving end of these struggles is a completely different story. The obscenely sluggish movement combined with any sort of impact with something sending you into a completely helpless ragdoll stun-mode makes episodes a complete chore to sit through, not to mention all of the waiting in between episodes and even individual rounds. But all of this doesn’t sound so bad if you’re just playing it regularly and not expecting the best kind of results each time, right? That’s kind of a thing with battle royale-type games, they’re very spontaneous with how results come out, aren’t they? However, there was one thing in Fall Guys that I wanted to get that completely went against a casual sort of mindset, and upset me to the point of eventually realizing all of this that I disliked here in the first place.
You see, I’ve always been some sort of a nut for achievements and the like. I’ve always enjoyed being a completionist because I liked doing everything a game had to offer, you know. Achievements always gave me a sort of baseline definition for 100% completion for each game that had them. Most of what the developers have to offer and want you to do has an achievement system in place for certain platforms to signify progression status, along with all of the optional stuff like sidequests or extra challenges. I particularly enjoy extra challenges that games want to test me for, but there was one here that went so completely against how the game worked that I just had some sort of revelation about what’s so wrong with it fundamentally and why it’s so draining to play to an extensive degree—Infallible.
The goal of the Infallible achievement is simple on paper yet absolutely absurd on execution; win five episodes in a row. If you’ve ever played Fall Guys before, you should get a good idea of how awful this is. Combined with the many sorts of physics frustrations, the randomness of outcomes with this type of game are increased to an absurd degree. The frequency of the kinds of situations you can encounter that are completely out of your control is absolutely insulting. Team games as a whole are a good example due to a necessity for others to properly cooperate. Hunt games are another example due to the ping of other players not being considered and having very notable luck for objective spawns. But the prime example of a fundamental part of the game that is completely out of your control is one of the main mechanics of your limiting moveset: the grab. If someone takes ahold of you with the grab, you’re completely latched to them and have all of your movement options severely crippled. You can get out of it, but when you do you’re sent flying off in the direction the other player grabbed you from and are put into that same irritating ragdoll stun for a brief period of time. It may not be a long effect, but it can be enough to set you back and even completely screw you over in active situations, and literally any player can do it to one another on a whim. The grab move as a whole is the prime precedent for how huge the issue of player interference is in Fall Guys and how the Infallible achievement completely goes against what the game is trying to be. Sure, there have been easier methods of toughing this achievement out that were implemented later on like getting a squad together to increase your chances of winning episodes, or particularly cheesable episode types like Sweet Thieves, but the utterly dire experience put onto me while attempting it back in seasons 1 and 2 completely killed any and all desire to keep playing as a whole. I’m not underestimating when I say that the Infallible achievement in particular made me find out about everything wrong with Fall Guys.
It’s just disappointing the more that I think about it, really. The concept of a battle royale based on triumphing in an assortment of Mario Party-like minigames was such a cool take on the genre. Everything about it’s concept in general even, the game show like style with the round elimination format and the brilliantly adrenaline rushing original final round theme, there just wasn’t anything else quite like it. I wanted to make special note of the original final round theme—Final Fall—because it’s still honestly one of the most brilliant tracks I’ve ever heard in a game, it’s composed in such a special way that combines the silly nature of Fall Guys with the climactic finality of the ending rounds that gives the feeling of having triumphed over countless others and are just inches away from victory in a heart-pounding rush against the other players you’re pitted up against. None of the other final round themes I’ve heard can even possibly compare, honestly. I really just wish this game was more fundamentally rigid, but I guess that would kind of ruin what Fall Guys is as a whole? Well, Infallible already did just that anyways, so… what's really the point then?
Also I held back on talking about the dumb social media management because I honestly couldn’t even care at all regardless of how “cringeworthy” people say it is, but I just wanted to say one thing about it in particular and that is that WHY DID THEY NAME THE SEASON TWO SWINGY THINGY THICC BONKUS WHEN MINCE MEATUS WAS RIGHT THERE. IT WAS IN THE POLL AND EVERYTHING! IT WOULD’VE FIT THE THING PERFECTLY WITH THE DUMB NAMING SCHEME THEY WERE GOING WITH THEN, EVEN. IT FIT THE MEDIEVAL THEME THAT SEASON HAD AND IT WAS, LIKE, COVERED IN SPIKES. MINCE MEATUS WAS THE PERFECT NAME I TELL YOU, BUT NO. THICC MOTHERFUCKING BONKUS.
I don’t know why I’m still annoyed about the results of a dumb meme poll for an obstacle name to this day. I need to go rest, probably.
I didn’t even really notice my issues with the game back when I started playing it, strangely enough. It was just a simple thing to me for some time back then. I started playing around the whole time it took off in popularity. Most people probably remember that era, right? The turbulent tale of when Fall Guys had a brief moment in the spotlight is likely one of the most notable events in gaming during the very perilous first year of the Covid-19 pandemic. Being one of the handful of games that sort of united us in a brief spree of joy during the upsetting year of 2020. The sort of competition it had with Among Us around that time was rather cute in a way with both of their quirky stylizations and quick rises to fame. However, knowing the intense memetic influence Among Us has to this day should give you a good idea of who won out in that. It’s still a tad strange to think on how Among Us is essentially the game that had indirectly taken Fall Guys’ fame from it but it sort of makes sense considering each game fundamentally. One of the main complaints about Fall Guys was that it had very little to it for very long stretches of time. Among Us never really had this as a major complaint though, even with it also having a quaint amount to its name as well, likely due to Among Us working in a much more erratic way. Extensively playing Fall Guys would be much more likely to give you fatigue on the game in comparison, and it seems like I definitely found that out when I was playing back then. My main influence for playing Fall Guys in the first place was to play with a couple of my friends, and since I really didn’t wanna miss out on being with them, I ended up buying the game at full price. It was an impulse decision that I still rather regret to this day, as it never really paid off as we never played together that often with how quickly we fell out of it. Granted, I played it for quite a lot more than they did but my decision to do so wasn’t entirely out of attachment to the game, and more than likely caused me to grow bitter with it in the end.
But first, in regards to the model shift—no, the whole Epic Games Store exclusivity thing that happened with it along with the new free-to-play model is not where all of my issues come from. Sure, it is something that I take issue with in general as I think it’s an extremely aggressive and unnecessary marketing strategy, but I guess it doesn’t even affect me in particular since I still own it on Steam. (Well I need an Epic Games account to even play the damn thing now for some reason but eh I said earlier that I’m not interested in picking it up again so I guess it still doesn’t affect me lol) My issues with Fall Guys as a whole stem more from fundamental parts about the game. Like, it’s mechanics and gameplay and all that. I think I’d rather go on about that a bit later since I’m more on the topic of the whole free-to-play aspect and how it affected Fall Guys because… honestly? I find the changes kind of dire, in a sense? This is more of me going on about the new changes so pardon me if I get something wrong about these here. For the first thing I’m wondering about, did they just… remove the crowns currency as a whole? Apparently every crown you had before the model shifting was converted into kudos, the main currency, which are more difficult to obtain now, even. The crowns just seem to just be apart of crown ranks now, from what I read. In the place of crowns is a new currency obtainable by paying real money or through progression in the season pass. It might be a me thing but I personally find it really lame that they removed an integral currency of the game that made your victories and progression worthwhile with all of the rare collectable cosmetics that you can obtain with them. Now all of the rare and legendary tier cosmetics have been locked behind this new mostly-paid currency which I just find really lame from a progression standpoint, but it also gives me a sick feeling thinking about a whole paid currency type of thing as a whole.
But enough of my gripes with the new free-to-play model shenanigans, that’s not where my distaste towards Fall Guys stems from anyways. I really want to talk about how the game plays as a whole and why it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve called it this several times before in more secluded chatting areas but I think referring to it as some sort of “struggling simulator” is the best way to get across what I mean about it all. I get it’s supposed to try to emulate a wacky game show type of feel but extending your idea to the games own physics was a questionable extent to take the dedication, to say the least. Sure it may be entertaining to watch some streamer fool around in attempts to come out on top and subsequently have their bean man eat shit to some sort of obstacle but being on the receiving end of these struggles is a completely different story. The obscenely sluggish movement combined with any sort of impact with something sending you into a completely helpless ragdoll stun-mode makes episodes a complete chore to sit through, not to mention all of the waiting in between episodes and even individual rounds. But all of this doesn’t sound so bad if you’re just playing it regularly and not expecting the best kind of results each time, right? That’s kind of a thing with battle royale-type games, they’re very spontaneous with how results come out, aren’t they? However, there was one thing in Fall Guys that I wanted to get that completely went against a casual sort of mindset, and upset me to the point of eventually realizing all of this that I disliked here in the first place.
You see, I’ve always been some sort of a nut for achievements and the like. I’ve always enjoyed being a completionist because I liked doing everything a game had to offer, you know. Achievements always gave me a sort of baseline definition for 100% completion for each game that had them. Most of what the developers have to offer and want you to do has an achievement system in place for certain platforms to signify progression status, along with all of the optional stuff like sidequests or extra challenges. I particularly enjoy extra challenges that games want to test me for, but there was one here that went so completely against how the game worked that I just had some sort of revelation about what’s so wrong with it fundamentally and why it’s so draining to play to an extensive degree—Infallible.
The goal of the Infallible achievement is simple on paper yet absolutely absurd on execution; win five episodes in a row. If you’ve ever played Fall Guys before, you should get a good idea of how awful this is. Combined with the many sorts of physics frustrations, the randomness of outcomes with this type of game are increased to an absurd degree. The frequency of the kinds of situations you can encounter that are completely out of your control is absolutely insulting. Team games as a whole are a good example due to a necessity for others to properly cooperate. Hunt games are another example due to the ping of other players not being considered and having very notable luck for objective spawns. But the prime example of a fundamental part of the game that is completely out of your control is one of the main mechanics of your limiting moveset: the grab. If someone takes ahold of you with the grab, you’re completely latched to them and have all of your movement options severely crippled. You can get out of it, but when you do you’re sent flying off in the direction the other player grabbed you from and are put into that same irritating ragdoll stun for a brief period of time. It may not be a long effect, but it can be enough to set you back and even completely screw you over in active situations, and literally any player can do it to one another on a whim. The grab move as a whole is the prime precedent for how huge the issue of player interference is in Fall Guys and how the Infallible achievement completely goes against what the game is trying to be. Sure, there have been easier methods of toughing this achievement out that were implemented later on like getting a squad together to increase your chances of winning episodes, or particularly cheesable episode types like Sweet Thieves, but the utterly dire experience put onto me while attempting it back in seasons 1 and 2 completely killed any and all desire to keep playing as a whole. I’m not underestimating when I say that the Infallible achievement in particular made me find out about everything wrong with Fall Guys.
It’s just disappointing the more that I think about it, really. The concept of a battle royale based on triumphing in an assortment of Mario Party-like minigames was such a cool take on the genre. Everything about it’s concept in general even, the game show like style with the round elimination format and the brilliantly adrenaline rushing original final round theme, there just wasn’t anything else quite like it. I wanted to make special note of the original final round theme—Final Fall—because it’s still honestly one of the most brilliant tracks I’ve ever heard in a game, it’s composed in such a special way that combines the silly nature of Fall Guys with the climactic finality of the ending rounds that gives the feeling of having triumphed over countless others and are just inches away from victory in a heart-pounding rush against the other players you’re pitted up against. None of the other final round themes I’ve heard can even possibly compare, honestly. I really just wish this game was more fundamentally rigid, but I guess that would kind of ruin what Fall Guys is as a whole? Well, Infallible already did just that anyways, so… what's really the point then?
Also I held back on talking about the dumb social media management because I honestly couldn’t even care at all regardless of how “cringeworthy” people say it is, but I just wanted to say one thing about it in particular and that is that WHY DID THEY NAME THE SEASON TWO SWINGY THINGY THICC BONKUS WHEN MINCE MEATUS WAS RIGHT THERE. IT WAS IN THE POLL AND EVERYTHING! IT WOULD’VE FIT THE THING PERFECTLY WITH THE DUMB NAMING SCHEME THEY WERE GOING WITH THEN, EVEN. IT FIT THE MEDIEVAL THEME THAT SEASON HAD AND IT WAS, LIKE, COVERED IN SPIKES. MINCE MEATUS WAS THE PERFECT NAME I TELL YOU, BUT NO. THICC MOTHERFUCKING BONKUS.
I don’t know why I’m still annoyed about the results of a dumb meme poll for an obstacle name to this day. I need to go rest, probably.