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ZEELLO reviewed Pikmin
I'm flabbergasted at how fundamentally broken this IP is and how Nintendo keeps trying to make it work without addressing the root problems.

It's all maidwork. The amount of little plant folk that you can have following you around seems impressive at first until you hit the unit cap before you know it and suddenly it seems like this oppressively limited amount. There can be red pills lying around every freakin where and thats when it becomes apparent that those are essentially health pickups and that the unit cap is essentially a health bar. The game ceases to seem unique or interesting at that point. It's about trading health to achieve tasks and then replenishing said health, and taking note of the locations of unneeded red pills so you know where to find them later, like it's a 90s PC FPS.

By tasks of course I mean gathering collectibles and killing enemies. (Very original!) How do you gather collectibles? Throw the plant folk at them until the gauge is filled. You're simply filling gauges in Pikmin. It's a gauge filling simulator. You defeat enemies the same way. It's not really clear how the plant folk actually attack the enemies since they have no teeth or claws or any visible means to damage enemies much larger than them, but you're not really paying attention to that. You're just looking at the gauge that appears onscreen to show how many plant folk to put in the cup to make the big bad go bye bye. Filling gauges. So quirky. Pure Nintendo. Brilliant.

And the sundown timer. That reminds me of when it was time for bed and my dad would count to 10 slowly before he would shut the console off, and that's how much time we had to reach a save point. That's literally what playing Pikmin is.

When night falls in game you know you're done playing Pikmin because instead of being able to start the next day immediately you have to read the main character monologue for like twenty minutes. ("Make 'em reeeead!!" -Miyamoto, probably) I think the final screen in the game occurrs when you have a choice between two levels to land into, which is a fantastic way of introducing that generation to the concept of choice paralysis. Either way you use up one of your remaining days of oxygen or whatever you have left to finish the game in. So BETTER NOT SQUANDER IT, IDIOT. Better make sure to play each day 100% optimally, not just stumble through. Definitely don't start this level or that one if you're just playing for fun. But it's not as if you're playing games for fun?? I mean who does that.

22 hrs ago


ZEELLO played Pikmin

23 hrs ago


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