it's been such a long time since i've played a game that felt like homework. i really wanted to like this game, i don't enjoy being the person who now hates square and the games they make. but good christ is this one just such a misfire for me.

and that's fine i guess, because the reception for this has been mostly positive. i just hate the direction square's taking with its games. instead of giving us solid JRPGs, now they keep trying to shove down the action RPG/JRPG hybrid that just does not work for me. they're watering down both genres to make this messy combination that fails to embrace the highs of either genre while being stuck in a land of mediocrity. your party AI is just outright horrible; party members will only attack whenever they feel like it (read: once every 30 seconds). and jesus christ every boss encounter now has to be this big epic ordeal. every single boss is about 60% longer than it needs to be. i think what's worse is that you give such special significance to random bosses like the airbuster. the airbuster was a random throwaway mech, now it has a chapter's worth of buildup and hype despite still being a random throwaway mech. who requested this?

i'm very cynical about the narrative being told here. on the one hand, yes it's cool that they're developing and fleshing out characters like biggs, wedge, and jessie. on the other hand, to what fucken end? we all know that bwj have next to no impact on the main plot, and sure enough, that remains the same here. the remake introduces a bunch of superfluous characters that don't add anything to the plot instead of focusing on developing the ones that we already care about. i think worst of all is just the god damn padding that's rife throughout this game. so much time is dedicated to stretching out existing segments of VII to fit a 30-40 hour playthrough. remember the motorcycle minigame that no one liked? well now you have to play it twice, and each time you have to fight a boss. remember the don corneo plot detour that took like, 10-15 minutes to take care of? now you have to do a bunch of pointless arena battles and sidequests just to get it done.

like the general plot beats are all the same, they're just inflated with padding to stretch out the game's length. we know the story that's trying to be told here, why waste time fucking around? when people said "i wish we saw more of midgar", they didn't mean like this. the worst part is that we don't even SEE more of midgar. we still explore almost exclusively the same exact locations, just in HD graphics. why not use this remake to explore the other sectors of midgar that never get seen? or just like... give more plot beats to work with. this game gorges on nostalgia for original so hard that it loses focus on actually being fun to play. so much of this game just feels like an exercise in excess.

again, it's cool that people get value out of this game and enjoy it in ways i only wish i could, but this has really just killed any faith i had in square making a JRPG i would enjoy again.

Reviewed on Apr 27, 2020


1 Comment


7 months ago

Not to be pedantic but your wording in the beginning confuses me, specifically the "instead of giving us solid JRPGs, now they keep trying to shove down the action RPG/JRPG hybird" part. Do you mean that all JRPGs are turn-based or something along those lines. I don't understand why a JRPG can only be turn based and can't have action combat? (saying this as someone who likes both)