chris
29 reviews liked by chris
Final Fantasy XVI
2023
This game wishes it was as good as Stranger of Paradise
Gitaroo Man
2001
I don't get it.
Gitaroo Man is okay. Those are the strongest feelings I can muster towards it.
I'm left grasping at what people actually like so much about this for it to have the reputation that it does. I've heard a lot about the story, and the gameplay, and the music, and I'm wondering what it is here that connected with others and didn't with me. It's as if we've all played different games. What I've seen isn't worth much celebration, but that hasn't stopped the party from raging on without me involved. I'm lost. What is it about Gitaroo Man that I've missed?
The gameplay is finicky. Timing windows feel just a little out of sync no matter how much I fiddle with the delay. The Dualshock 2 analog stick was not designed for the precise movements that the game implies you're meant to be doing. Every whammy bar sequence where the line wobbles actually fails if you try to wobble along with it; you just keep holding the stick down through the middle of the the line, and the game automatically compensates and wiggles it for you. The Charge/Attack/Final sequences are an interesting touch, but all they are in effect is the ability to prematurely end a song if you play it well enough. It's still an engaging and difficult enough loop to justify playing through all ten stages, but it's not something that impressed me.
I feel as though any piece of Japanese media with a child character in it will immediately have a legion of fans who give it acclaim as "a story about growing up", even if that doesn't apply in the slightest. I don't mean to vaguepost about any reviewers here — Lord knows I probably am anyway, but I've very purposefully avoided reading anyone else's words on Backloggd about this — but everything I've seen elsewhere online is full of people who can't stop insisting that it's about maturity, or the joy of being a child, or whatever. I don't see it. A loser kid gets powers and goes on an adventure where he comes back a little cooler. You couldn't have a more basic Saturday morning framework if you tried, and this one is as simplistic and boring as a wall painted beige. Gitaroo Man gets unduly hailed as one of the most moving stories in video games solely for the reason that there are two good songs planted right at the end of it.
The soundtrack is...fine, mostly? The Legendary Theme fucking rocks, as does Resurrection, but there are some pulls on here that are just mediocre. Twisted Reality, Born to be Bone, and VOID are the especially goofy-sounding songs. Flyin' to Your Heart has the double dishonor of being the worst track here and being the longest by three entire minutes. If we're being honest, the last two songs in the game are good enough to justify the existence of the entire soundtrack, but they're pulling a lot of weight.
And that's it. There isn't anything left to talk about, and there isn't anything here that I've loved. I don't know. I get the distinct feeling of being stupid. Of missing out. But I really just don't see what everyone else sees in Gitaroo Man. I'm disappointed, but it's probably my own fault. Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations. Everyone else got a pleasant surprise, and I created an unattainable standard in the wake of its reception.
I wish I'd gotten the same experience as everyone who loved this.
Gitaroo Man is okay. Those are the strongest feelings I can muster towards it.
I'm left grasping at what people actually like so much about this for it to have the reputation that it does. I've heard a lot about the story, and the gameplay, and the music, and I'm wondering what it is here that connected with others and didn't with me. It's as if we've all played different games. What I've seen isn't worth much celebration, but that hasn't stopped the party from raging on without me involved. I'm lost. What is it about Gitaroo Man that I've missed?
The gameplay is finicky. Timing windows feel just a little out of sync no matter how much I fiddle with the delay. The Dualshock 2 analog stick was not designed for the precise movements that the game implies you're meant to be doing. Every whammy bar sequence where the line wobbles actually fails if you try to wobble along with it; you just keep holding the stick down through the middle of the the line, and the game automatically compensates and wiggles it for you. The Charge/Attack/Final sequences are an interesting touch, but all they are in effect is the ability to prematurely end a song if you play it well enough. It's still an engaging and difficult enough loop to justify playing through all ten stages, but it's not something that impressed me.
I feel as though any piece of Japanese media with a child character in it will immediately have a legion of fans who give it acclaim as "a story about growing up", even if that doesn't apply in the slightest. I don't mean to vaguepost about any reviewers here — Lord knows I probably am anyway, but I've very purposefully avoided reading anyone else's words on Backloggd about this — but everything I've seen elsewhere online is full of people who can't stop insisting that it's about maturity, or the joy of being a child, or whatever. I don't see it. A loser kid gets powers and goes on an adventure where he comes back a little cooler. You couldn't have a more basic Saturday morning framework if you tried, and this one is as simplistic and boring as a wall painted beige. Gitaroo Man gets unduly hailed as one of the most moving stories in video games solely for the reason that there are two good songs planted right at the end of it.
The soundtrack is...fine, mostly? The Legendary Theme fucking rocks, as does Resurrection, but there are some pulls on here that are just mediocre. Twisted Reality, Born to be Bone, and VOID are the especially goofy-sounding songs. Flyin' to Your Heart has the double dishonor of being the worst track here and being the longest by three entire minutes. If we're being honest, the last two songs in the game are good enough to justify the existence of the entire soundtrack, but they're pulling a lot of weight.
And that's it. There isn't anything left to talk about, and there isn't anything here that I've loved. I don't know. I get the distinct feeling of being stupid. Of missing out. But I really just don't see what everyone else sees in Gitaroo Man. I'm disappointed, but it's probably my own fault. Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations. Everyone else got a pleasant surprise, and I created an unattainable standard in the wake of its reception.
I wish I'd gotten the same experience as everyone who loved this.
Hi-Fi Rush
2023
I cannot break the gameplay in fun ways like a badly made sonic game or a very exploitable game; it doesnt give me the challenge of a 3D Ninja Gaiden for example, where level and enemy design are different puzzles of situations you have to solve with the tools at your disposal, just press the jump button to go to a platform, press the assist button to activate a platform, press the hook button to go somewhere, filler, classic 7th gen games filler; it doesnt have a freedom of gameplay ramifications like a Sunset Overdrive or InFamous where i choose what to upgrade, what missions i do or what weapons and scenery i use to tackle fights. and nor it has the slightless DMC or whatever depth in the combat system, no cancels, every attack has massive areas, enemy and playable character alike, also the beat system makes timmings much more simplistic and removes complex button presses.
I have died in this game mainly because i didnt have the patience to dodge hoping I would hit faster to be done with fights sooner.
For the non gameplay part: characters, storytelling and all that, while very well executed, i cannot see the sightless hint of originality, i have already seen this story, this protagonist, these different characters, every new personallty just tells me how proud they are to be cliche, and every potential plothole or whatever is solved by classic "haha this game is goofy remember?" almost 4th wall type of shit.
Nevertheless, im rooting for more game to come out like this, experiences that grab your money once and never ask you again, thank you
I have died in this game mainly because i didnt have the patience to dodge hoping I would hit faster to be done with fights sooner.
For the non gameplay part: characters, storytelling and all that, while very well executed, i cannot see the sightless hint of originality, i have already seen this story, this protagonist, these different characters, every new personallty just tells me how proud they are to be cliche, and every potential plothole or whatever is solved by classic "haha this game is goofy remember?" almost 4th wall type of shit.
Nevertheless, im rooting for more game to come out like this, experiences that grab your money once and never ask you again, thank you
Air
2001
My first playthrough of this legendary Key novel since about a decade ago, and I'm happy to say that AIR still remains a beautiful, memorable experience that I'm very happy to have spent a few weeks coming back to. If Kanon was the game in which Maeda et al found their ground after departing from Tactics, AIR is the game which ensured that Key would remain a titanic presence within the visual novel sphere for years to come.
Fittingly, I suppose the word that might best define AIR is "breezy". Despite many titles that it would go on to influence tearing deep into melodrama and bombastic moments - some incredible, some misguided - AIR is remarkably quiet and distant for the entirety of its run. The dreamy, faraway summer haze that permeates AIR allows each story, each moment, to blend borders of days and times to create a very amorphous, congenial tone. Although they ultimately play lesser roles in the story as a whole, the stories of Minagi and Kano are enjoyable to simply exist in - and though certainly not quite as memorable or composed as the main scenario, their routes certainly contribute to the game's larger thematic structure and pathos.
Ultimately, though, Jun Maeda and Yūichi Suzumoto are the star penmen here - and the conclusive triad of Misuzu's route, the Summer arc, and the Air arc are the core of this work's thesis. AIR, ultimately, is about tackling our preconceptions of "futility" and the impossible, about how we process our own individuality and the hedgehog's dilemma, and about the liquidous construct of family. Minagi's route in particular sets up the pins for Maeda to strike through with the minimalist profundity that would define Clannad only four years later, and Suzumoto offers a very essential parable of the extent of love, sacrifice, and perseverance in Summer that no doubt allowed him to create his later masterpiece, Planetarian. Shinji Orito's score is textbook Key mastery, as well - very stark instrumentation that packs a punch when it's necessary; dreamy, glittering, gentle, and bittersweet. Again, AIR is breezy, and I can't say that much actually happens during this intangible, distant summer - but it's the mere existence of its cast and their drive to simply "be" that creates the emotional and personal statements that will keep you thinking about it, even when it's gone.
A distant memory, something you can hold close and just barely recall finer details. You might not remember the faces. You might not recall which days held what adventures. You might not even remember what you chose to say to her while you had the chance. Despite all that, it's a story that stuck with me for a decade, stuck hard enough to call me back to go through its motions, laugh, cry, think, and feel the things I did as a teenager - like it was the first time, even though I'd been here before. The story remains the same, no matter how much you change. Remember that girl and her story, even when you've grown apart, no matter how many years it's been since you last opened the cover and read. She is waiting, like she always has, in the air.
Fittingly, I suppose the word that might best define AIR is "breezy". Despite many titles that it would go on to influence tearing deep into melodrama and bombastic moments - some incredible, some misguided - AIR is remarkably quiet and distant for the entirety of its run. The dreamy, faraway summer haze that permeates AIR allows each story, each moment, to blend borders of days and times to create a very amorphous, congenial tone. Although they ultimately play lesser roles in the story as a whole, the stories of Minagi and Kano are enjoyable to simply exist in - and though certainly not quite as memorable or composed as the main scenario, their routes certainly contribute to the game's larger thematic structure and pathos.
Ultimately, though, Jun Maeda and Yūichi Suzumoto are the star penmen here - and the conclusive triad of Misuzu's route, the Summer arc, and the Air arc are the core of this work's thesis. AIR, ultimately, is about tackling our preconceptions of "futility" and the impossible, about how we process our own individuality and the hedgehog's dilemma, and about the liquidous construct of family. Minagi's route in particular sets up the pins for Maeda to strike through with the minimalist profundity that would define Clannad only four years later, and Suzumoto offers a very essential parable of the extent of love, sacrifice, and perseverance in Summer that no doubt allowed him to create his later masterpiece, Planetarian. Shinji Orito's score is textbook Key mastery, as well - very stark instrumentation that packs a punch when it's necessary; dreamy, glittering, gentle, and bittersweet. Again, AIR is breezy, and I can't say that much actually happens during this intangible, distant summer - but it's the mere existence of its cast and their drive to simply "be" that creates the emotional and personal statements that will keep you thinking about it, even when it's gone.
A distant memory, something you can hold close and just barely recall finer details. You might not remember the faces. You might not recall which days held what adventures. You might not even remember what you chose to say to her while you had the chance. Despite all that, it's a story that stuck with me for a decade, stuck hard enough to call me back to go through its motions, laugh, cry, think, and feel the things I did as a teenager - like it was the first time, even though I'd been here before. The story remains the same, no matter how much you change. Remember that girl and her story, even when you've grown apart, no matter how many years it's been since you last opened the cover and read. She is waiting, like she always has, in the air.
Edit: Just wrapped up my second play-through of this game, and fuck, do I love it even more than the first time. Remains my favorite ARPG of all time. Literally just throw a mini-map on here and a mute option for Jed and it's a perfect game.
It's still pretty surreal, sitting down to write this piece, to be able to say it, but Stranger of Paradise is easily the most ballsy and unique entry the Final Fantasy series has seen since the XIII trilogy, and stands pretty easily as my favorite entry of the post-VIII games. It's like the ambitious, earnest, and thrill-seeking Final Fantasy never left us. After decades of what I feel has been a progression of back-stepping, reductive, and trepidatious entries, Stranger of Paradise bursts in, guns blazing and Limp Bizkit blasting, and demands your attention, your frustration, and your heart.
Through the entire experience, I felt like I'd been transported back to the days in which these types of experiences were the norm for major third parties like Square - parts of me even imagine this must've been what lesser titles like Dirge of Cerberus wanted to be. There is no irony to Stranger of Paradise; what you see is what you get, and it stakes its claim as a new step for action-RPGs loudly and pulls it off in stride. The gameplay is just ridiculously fun - swapping between classes, casting magic and going in for strings of melee combos is a blast to pull off in succession. The boss fights are almost all hype as fuck, with awesome delineations between phases to keep things fresh. Modern takes on Final Fantasy I classic bosses that feel fresh and new, while bringing back memories of my first runs through the original title, created memorable moment after moment. Speaking of, the dungeons are pretty breathtaking - and the choice to model each area lightly after a landmark from another Final Fantasy (Mount Gulg after VIII's Fire Cavern, Crystal Mirage after III's Crystal Tower) made this longtime fan stoked to see every new outing spring to life. A mini-map would've been nice for some of these areas, but it never got all too bad; no traditional dungeon crawling here.
Looting was never too overwhelming, save the few times my inventory filled when I really could've used boss drops, but to see Jack and the crew in whatever obnoxiously loud new outfits I obtained next was a joy after another - especially considered like 70% of the outfits in this game constantly clip through themselves. Oh, I love the jank in this game. It was always a laugh WITH the game, not quite at it, and playing the title as a couch hang-out with close friends only accentuated this.
Not to parrot the exact same sentiment as many others have about the plot, but I have to hand it to Stranger of Paradise for taking it from "tacky, goofy but entertaining anime plot" to "honestly powerful final act" as quickly as it did, and I'm left with a genuinely positive impression over all. Stranger of Paradise is a title confident in what it's doing and honest to God believes in itself - and I do, too. This is my favorite Final Fantasy in a long, long time. Since the XIII games, for sure. And yes, it did it its way.
It's still pretty surreal, sitting down to write this piece, to be able to say it, but Stranger of Paradise is easily the most ballsy and unique entry the Final Fantasy series has seen since the XIII trilogy, and stands pretty easily as my favorite entry of the post-VIII games. It's like the ambitious, earnest, and thrill-seeking Final Fantasy never left us. After decades of what I feel has been a progression of back-stepping, reductive, and trepidatious entries, Stranger of Paradise bursts in, guns blazing and Limp Bizkit blasting, and demands your attention, your frustration, and your heart.
Through the entire experience, I felt like I'd been transported back to the days in which these types of experiences were the norm for major third parties like Square - parts of me even imagine this must've been what lesser titles like Dirge of Cerberus wanted to be. There is no irony to Stranger of Paradise; what you see is what you get, and it stakes its claim as a new step for action-RPGs loudly and pulls it off in stride. The gameplay is just ridiculously fun - swapping between classes, casting magic and going in for strings of melee combos is a blast to pull off in succession. The boss fights are almost all hype as fuck, with awesome delineations between phases to keep things fresh. Modern takes on Final Fantasy I classic bosses that feel fresh and new, while bringing back memories of my first runs through the original title, created memorable moment after moment. Speaking of, the dungeons are pretty breathtaking - and the choice to model each area lightly after a landmark from another Final Fantasy (Mount Gulg after VIII's Fire Cavern, Crystal Mirage after III's Crystal Tower) made this longtime fan stoked to see every new outing spring to life. A mini-map would've been nice for some of these areas, but it never got all too bad; no traditional dungeon crawling here.
Looting was never too overwhelming, save the few times my inventory filled when I really could've used boss drops, but to see Jack and the crew in whatever obnoxiously loud new outfits I obtained next was a joy after another - especially considered like 70% of the outfits in this game constantly clip through themselves. Oh, I love the jank in this game. It was always a laugh WITH the game, not quite at it, and playing the title as a couch hang-out with close friends only accentuated this.
Not to parrot the exact same sentiment as many others have about the plot, but I have to hand it to Stranger of Paradise for taking it from "tacky, goofy but entertaining anime plot" to "honestly powerful final act" as quickly as it did, and I'm left with a genuinely positive impression over all. Stranger of Paradise is a title confident in what it's doing and honest to God believes in itself - and I do, too. This is my favorite Final Fantasy in a long, long time. Since the XIII games, for sure. And yes, it did it its way.
Heisei Pistol Show
2008
Wandering about dreams, or reality
the infamy of love’s double edged sword. exerted above and beneath a euphoric night sky filled with stars of incomprehensible emotion.
LOVE IS FAKE
stars reach endlessly across the sea of night. though what they seek may only be fantasy.
LOVE IS RAINBOW
of the stars that twinkle, bright and dim, there is purity and harmony inside each and every one.
LOVE IS HERO
the curtain closes behind his feet. in his shadow, behind the curtain, footsteps lay permanently embedded into a meadow of sentiment. the stars remain entranced.
If there’s no bright future without him gone, then I’ll descend into hell with him by my side.
there is heartbreak among the stars. they are unable to ascertain their dream and reality.
A farce of my own selfishness
simply beautiful.
the infamy of love’s double edged sword. exerted above and beneath a euphoric night sky filled with stars of incomprehensible emotion.
LOVE IS FAKE
stars reach endlessly across the sea of night. though what they seek may only be fantasy.
LOVE IS RAINBOW
of the stars that twinkle, bright and dim, there is purity and harmony inside each and every one.
LOVE IS HERO
the curtain closes behind his feet. in his shadow, behind the curtain, footsteps lay permanently embedded into a meadow of sentiment. the stars remain entranced.
If there’s no bright future without him gone, then I’ll descend into hell with him by my side.
there is heartbreak among the stars. they are unable to ascertain their dream and reality.
A farce of my own selfishness
simply beautiful.
Yakuza 2
2006
the ending was the biggest piece of dogshit but then I saw Suda51 in the credits
With its cacophonous city street designs and bold vibrant greens and reds, Resident Evil 3: Nemesis is arguably the series' most plainly beautiful release. The claustrophobic, labyrinthine alleyways and avenues are clearly spawned from the minds of Japanese developers, and offer this American-set apocalypse a dream-like atmosphere to buoy the action elements and exciting horror fodder. Alongside the artistic vision, this scenario also habitually imbues the subtext with a sort of nationalist retort to pride; a significant American city on the eve of doomsday, a clocktower counting down the seconds till mass destruction, in the wake of a particularly capitalistic failure.
The zombies have never looked better up until this game, as they're reactive to combat and have a striking sense of physicality, as opposed to the target practice enemies which came before. Indeed, Nemesis pushes the PSX's technical capabilities to the edge, and each map, each room, each frame is a delight to the senses beside the delectable carnage.
The central gimmick here arrives in the form of the titular beast: an experiment in genetic warfare, created to destroy truth-seekers and cover up the inimitable Umbrella Corporation's vile, exploitative operations. Nemesis is prone to appear at any given moment, especially as the player progresses through the game, and depending on the difficulty setting can prove a formidable foe.
The recent Resident Evil 2 Remake's Mr. X doesn't hold a candle to this opponent, mainly due to level design working in favor of the rules governing Nemesis. Each door leads to a new area separated from the next, so being chased through a gauntlet of doorways and fixed cameras (not to mention puzzles) restrains perspective and limits adaptability. Mr. X can be vanquished and made a fool; Nemesis, aside from triggered cutscenes, is always an oppressive threat. It is a testament to the lasting power of old-school survival horror game design; if you're low on ammo, better get running.
A proper sequel, Nemesis builds on the core gameplay strengths of its predecessors without succumbing to fatigue. If Resident Evil 4 never happened, one might only guess as to the prospective future-present of tank controls and tactical combat, especially given how successfully RE3 builds layers over its series roots, like a thick coat of luscious, bloody paint. The story's conclusion is morbid and deceptively victorious, as Jill flies off into the sunset, leaving behind a ruptured piece of America left smoldering in flames, brought to ruin by its own hands. Citizens sacrificed for the sake of national security. There just polygons on a screen after all, right?
The zombies have never looked better up until this game, as they're reactive to combat and have a striking sense of physicality, as opposed to the target practice enemies which came before. Indeed, Nemesis pushes the PSX's technical capabilities to the edge, and each map, each room, each frame is a delight to the senses beside the delectable carnage.
The central gimmick here arrives in the form of the titular beast: an experiment in genetic warfare, created to destroy truth-seekers and cover up the inimitable Umbrella Corporation's vile, exploitative operations. Nemesis is prone to appear at any given moment, especially as the player progresses through the game, and depending on the difficulty setting can prove a formidable foe.
The recent Resident Evil 2 Remake's Mr. X doesn't hold a candle to this opponent, mainly due to level design working in favor of the rules governing Nemesis. Each door leads to a new area separated from the next, so being chased through a gauntlet of doorways and fixed cameras (not to mention puzzles) restrains perspective and limits adaptability. Mr. X can be vanquished and made a fool; Nemesis, aside from triggered cutscenes, is always an oppressive threat. It is a testament to the lasting power of old-school survival horror game design; if you're low on ammo, better get running.
A proper sequel, Nemesis builds on the core gameplay strengths of its predecessors without succumbing to fatigue. If Resident Evil 4 never happened, one might only guess as to the prospective future-present of tank controls and tactical combat, especially given how successfully RE3 builds layers over its series roots, like a thick coat of luscious, bloody paint. The story's conclusion is morbid and deceptively victorious, as Jill flies off into the sunset, leaving behind a ruptured piece of America left smoldering in flames, brought to ruin by its own hands. Citizens sacrificed for the sake of national security. There just polygons on a screen after all, right?
Yakuza
2005
10 years of modern gaming made you a fucking pussy if this is what you consider "dated"
Katamari Damacy
2004
randomly a katamari damacy ost came up while i was studying and listening to a Best VideoGame Music Ever ™ playlist and i havent been the same person ever since
now i always had an idea that katamari damacy was a game that everybody loved and adored for reasons that were outside of my conscience and since i had never watched any gameplay or shit like that i was like “people love this game ! ok next” and like saw the cover art and i thought it was probably gonna be a nostalgia filled childish videogame with okay ish mechanics and a silly story and id say i was half right
after listening to masterpiece roll me in i HAD to take a leap of faith head first into this game because that ost is completely insane im not even joking if you havent just listen to it its breath taking and the fact that it single handedly lured me into a game where you roll a fucking ball is so funny to me but im glad it did
sooooooooo whats katamari . i kind of got no clue but i realised that katamari damashi aka 塊魂 means clump spirit and its honestly the funniest shit ever and also the kanji look so similar thats probably another reason why they chose this wacky title
and you can even witness how FUCKING wacky this game is by the absolute insane opening this is the closest thing to a heavy drug trip i ever experienced im not joking
basically the story follow the little prince who got ordered by his father (fathers?) king of the cosmos to roll up some katamari > clumps to make some stars out of them because he destroyed the entire universe after a psychotic episode or something like acid LSD i guess trip since he also says he had fun so . yeah its up to the little prince (cutest character ever i want to smooch him hes soooooooooo + hes like half a feet tall so best little baby man lil lil baby man lil lil baby baby man) to get the galaxies back up there using the other main character THE KATAMARI a ball yeah its basically a ball so
apart from the weird as fuck premise something that completely took ME out was the character design that i was witnessing the king is a sight to behold completely and to this moment i still cant recover from that i dont understand how they came up with this Giga Chad ultra wide hammerhead shark non binary fellow i really want to see the behind the scenes of his design im not joking im reaching out to the art direction of this game because this is unreal
hes not the only hammerhead person here the little prince and the queen (non existent character basically) and all the cousins of the king have this weird genome something that causes them to have this incredibly weird shape but i love them theyre my babies and i will protect them from people trying to stomp on them
and also yeah theres people in this game and funnily enough one side story is about a square faced family trying to get in a space station or something i got no idea while the prince is in the meantime rolling around entire cities but ok its fun i like this game
so if i tell you this game has the most stupid story and also the most stupid gameplay ? yeah masterpiece . what you gotta do is push the katamari around which ok we settled it its a ball ok a sphere so you have a tutorial where you understand how this works its kinda weird at first but you will get the hang of it in no time im stupid and i managed to get the jist of the mechanics in like 3 levels so youre fine that being said . thats it thats the gameplay you roll this ball around and run over everything that you encounter and make the ball bigger to ingest even more stuff and/or explore new areas
this is possibly the most simple concept ever created but i can assure you its a drug theres something so rudimentary and primal about the need for a person to create a mass of junk and roll it around like youre in a dung beetle simulator im just idk this satisfies possibly every need of creativity i had in my life its just so stupid like my mind goes “hehe get things ball bigger hehe swoosh” the end some new level of zen entertainment meditation people have been real silent since this dropped
so anyway this has also quite some complexity in the physics department or else it would be boring so thereslong object such as poles and arrows or shit like that that will unbalance the katamari and make it leap from time to time or when you collapse with something too big you will lose some stuff that was in the katamari in the collision and you can push the katamari up some steps if its big enough and thats it i think the end of the depth in the mechanics
so the levels follow some kind of progression and theres 2 types the "get to a certain diameter of the katamari" OR "get a certain number of objects" and thats basically it
diameter levels have some progression in scale youll begin being really small and suck up pins or coins and till the very end of the game youll be able to roll up cars people animals entire cities or entire masses of land so thats funny as hell
object levels center around the object of the constellation youre trying to recreate so thats pretty straight forward stuff sometimes the king require only one (1) object and these levels can last for and im not joking 10 seconds at best
at the end of the levels youll get a rating but nobody cares about that and some super fucking funny comments from the king i hate that bitch i swear hes so random
and thats basically it this could be the entire description of the game if only . IF ONLY there wasnt another thing that made me reach nirvana
the ost in this game is phenomenal its jaw dropping its absolutely unbelievable songs like roll me up and que sera sera or even UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WALKING ON A STAR but basically every single track in this game is an experience of its own and it has so many different genres like theres pop ???? electronic??? jazz ummmmmh ambient stuff and some piano bar and different talented artists its honestly absolutely incredible that a game like this has some of the most varied and perfect pieces of music in the videogame medium please just play it for the ost im begging you just do it for the incredible stuff that your ears are gonna listen to
so ugh
umh
i think im already done with considerations on this game damn that was fast but the fact that this is kind of a short review doesnt mean this game doesnt deserve praises its more about the fact that sometimes the most simple and straight forward stuff can be the most artistically evocative and im just leaving that here folks
this game makes me feel like a 7 year old again like this idea wouldve come out a childs mind
i watched a 1 hour documentary about this game thats how much i wanted to know about the thought process that gave birth to this odd ball + the fact that the objects ingame were modeled by students from some art school or something is so cool
the girl going “i feel it i feel the cosmos” might be the person with the most opened chakras ive ever encountered in my life i so aspire to be her her connection with her spiritual side is to be envied mooooooooo
still angry the king didnt visit italy are you italophobic
the fact that all the songs either say katamari somewhere or have some sort of pun on rolling stuff and balls its so fucking hilarious i cant believe this game is real
my only complaint would be that the levels might get kind of samey in the end and thats because it they reuse the same assets for every single level but thats fine i can close an eye for this one and its a thing that theyll fix in katamari 2 so ITS FINE ITS FINE ITS STILL GREAT
+ the sound design is fire nothing like hearing people scream in my ears animals cry and lands getting eradicated from earth
NOOOOOOOOOOO EMMA STAR
now i always had an idea that katamari damacy was a game that everybody loved and adored for reasons that were outside of my conscience and since i had never watched any gameplay or shit like that i was like “people love this game ! ok next” and like saw the cover art and i thought it was probably gonna be a nostalgia filled childish videogame with okay ish mechanics and a silly story and id say i was half right
after listening to masterpiece roll me in i HAD to take a leap of faith head first into this game because that ost is completely insane im not even joking if you havent just listen to it its breath taking and the fact that it single handedly lured me into a game where you roll a fucking ball is so funny to me but im glad it did
sooooooooo whats katamari . i kind of got no clue but i realised that katamari damashi aka 塊魂 means clump spirit and its honestly the funniest shit ever and also the kanji look so similar thats probably another reason why they chose this wacky title
and you can even witness how FUCKING wacky this game is by the absolute insane opening this is the closest thing to a heavy drug trip i ever experienced im not joking
basically the story follow the little prince who got ordered by his father (fathers?) king of the cosmos to roll up some katamari > clumps to make some stars out of them because he destroyed the entire universe after a psychotic episode or something like acid LSD i guess trip since he also says he had fun so . yeah its up to the little prince (cutest character ever i want to smooch him hes soooooooooo + hes like half a feet tall so best little baby man lil lil baby man lil lil baby baby man) to get the galaxies back up there using the other main character THE KATAMARI a ball yeah its basically a ball so
apart from the weird as fuck premise something that completely took ME out was the character design that i was witnessing the king is a sight to behold completely and to this moment i still cant recover from that i dont understand how they came up with this Giga Chad ultra wide hammerhead shark non binary fellow i really want to see the behind the scenes of his design im not joking im reaching out to the art direction of this game because this is unreal
hes not the only hammerhead person here the little prince and the queen (non existent character basically) and all the cousins of the king have this weird genome something that causes them to have this incredibly weird shape but i love them theyre my babies and i will protect them from people trying to stomp on them
and also yeah theres people in this game and funnily enough one side story is about a square faced family trying to get in a space station or something i got no idea while the prince is in the meantime rolling around entire cities but ok its fun i like this game
so if i tell you this game has the most stupid story and also the most stupid gameplay ? yeah masterpiece . what you gotta do is push the katamari around which ok we settled it its a ball ok a sphere so you have a tutorial where you understand how this works its kinda weird at first but you will get the hang of it in no time im stupid and i managed to get the jist of the mechanics in like 3 levels so youre fine that being said . thats it thats the gameplay you roll this ball around and run over everything that you encounter and make the ball bigger to ingest even more stuff and/or explore new areas
this is possibly the most simple concept ever created but i can assure you its a drug theres something so rudimentary and primal about the need for a person to create a mass of junk and roll it around like youre in a dung beetle simulator im just idk this satisfies possibly every need of creativity i had in my life its just so stupid like my mind goes “hehe get things ball bigger hehe swoosh” the end some new level of zen entertainment meditation people have been real silent since this dropped
so anyway this has also quite some complexity in the physics department or else it would be boring so thereslong object such as poles and arrows or shit like that that will unbalance the katamari and make it leap from time to time or when you collapse with something too big you will lose some stuff that was in the katamari in the collision and you can push the katamari up some steps if its big enough and thats it i think the end of the depth in the mechanics
so the levels follow some kind of progression and theres 2 types the "get to a certain diameter of the katamari" OR "get a certain number of objects" and thats basically it
diameter levels have some progression in scale youll begin being really small and suck up pins or coins and till the very end of the game youll be able to roll up cars people animals entire cities or entire masses of land so thats funny as hell
object levels center around the object of the constellation youre trying to recreate so thats pretty straight forward stuff sometimes the king require only one (1) object and these levels can last for and im not joking 10 seconds at best
at the end of the levels youll get a rating but nobody cares about that and some super fucking funny comments from the king i hate that bitch i swear hes so random
and thats basically it this could be the entire description of the game if only . IF ONLY there wasnt another thing that made me reach nirvana
the ost in this game is phenomenal its jaw dropping its absolutely unbelievable songs like roll me up and que sera sera or even UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WALKING ON A STAR but basically every single track in this game is an experience of its own and it has so many different genres like theres pop ???? electronic??? jazz ummmmmh ambient stuff and some piano bar and different talented artists its honestly absolutely incredible that a game like this has some of the most varied and perfect pieces of music in the videogame medium please just play it for the ost im begging you just do it for the incredible stuff that your ears are gonna listen to
so ugh
umh
i think im already done with considerations on this game damn that was fast but the fact that this is kind of a short review doesnt mean this game doesnt deserve praises its more about the fact that sometimes the most simple and straight forward stuff can be the most artistically evocative and im just leaving that here folks
this game makes me feel like a 7 year old again like this idea wouldve come out a childs mind
i watched a 1 hour documentary about this game thats how much i wanted to know about the thought process that gave birth to this odd ball + the fact that the objects ingame were modeled by students from some art school or something is so cool
the girl going “i feel it i feel the cosmos” might be the person with the most opened chakras ive ever encountered in my life i so aspire to be her her connection with her spiritual side is to be envied mooooooooo
still angry the king didnt visit italy are you italophobic
the fact that all the songs either say katamari somewhere or have some sort of pun on rolling stuff and balls its so fucking hilarious i cant believe this game is real
my only complaint would be that the levels might get kind of samey in the end and thats because it they reuse the same assets for every single level but thats fine i can close an eye for this one and its a thing that theyll fix in katamari 2 so ITS FINE ITS FINE ITS STILL GREAT
+ the sound design is fire nothing like hearing people scream in my ears animals cry and lands getting eradicated from earth
NOOOOOOOOOOO EMMA STAR
