filmbrando
133 reviews liked by filmbrando
i try to be an empathetic person, especially in regards to art. it is of extreme priority to me that i embody someone who can pinpoint the beautiful in all things; no matter the circumstances under which they were conceived, or the questionable intentions they may have embedded. i even hold a particular fondness for the universally-regarded-as-dog-cock movie this game is based on.
with that being said:
it takes a awful lot for me to call a game “unplayable”. if ever something truly felt like that to me, it likely would have my intrigue (or at least my sympathy) just by nature of being so impotent.
this cuts so much deeper than being unplayable. it is a genuinely nauseating experience. a game under no anesthetic; alive and functional to the most barebones extent, spread wide open by two gloved hands as if inviting you to peer inside in devastation. a trampled graveyard for careers in the arts, commodified into a 4D ride experience at—you guessed it—universal studios.
with that being said:
it takes a awful lot for me to call a game “unplayable”. if ever something truly felt like that to me, it likely would have my intrigue (or at least my sympathy) just by nature of being so impotent.
this cuts so much deeper than being unplayable. it is a genuinely nauseating experience. a game under no anesthetic; alive and functional to the most barebones extent, spread wide open by two gloved hands as if inviting you to peer inside in devastation. a trampled graveyard for careers in the arts, commodified into a 4D ride experience at—you guessed it—universal studios.
Faithfully adapted and meticulously crafted moments of pure awesomeness, the classic that put bozo ‘’shooters’’ to utter shame for eternity is 1 to 1 perfectly replicated onto the gameboy. A continuous loop of the glorious theme song playing constantly forever? what more can you ask for? Shut the fuck up grandma, im playing HALO: COMBAT DEVOLVED
One of my favorite classic PS1 games is Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue, which has stellar controls and seemingly infinite (and beyond) replayability. This? This is not that. This is, in fact, the very opposite, as Buzz slips and slides all over lazy maps with no story or reason to give a shit. You are a sad, strange little game.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
1992
Used to force my mam to play so I could be tails and just float through each level
Happy Wheels
2010
It's such a "we're not old enough to drink yet" game
Pros:
Animation is top-notch
Variety of gameplay mechanics
Variety of missions
Character and level design
Voice acting is highly expressive
Cons:
Writing/story
Worst double jump
Range of camera
Lack of accessibility options
Worst health system
2001 was a hugely competitive year for gaming. The Gamecube and OG Xbox released with their big launch hits and PS2 dropped some of their most influential games to date. Super Smash Bros Melee, Halo: Combat Evolved, Grand Theft Auto 3, Metal Gear Solid 2, Max Payne, Pikmin, etc. Just a bananas release year. And Jak and Daxter was the first big 3D platformer of the new-gen by the Crash Bandicoot developer Naughty Dog who went on to be fuckin' legends. I gotta say, I'm surprised that this holds up as well as it does. There are plenty of entertaining mechanics here. Launch pads, vehicles, animal companions, power ups, decent platforming. Only decent because the double-jump sucks ass. It works when it feels like it and only if you haven't descended an INCH yet. Ugh. And the camera is utter balls half the time too, which can make or break a platformer. Sometimes the range is 360°, other times 90° and you can't even see the precise jump you have to make next. You have zero control over the Y-axis and the x-axis is permanently inverted with no alternative option. HATE that. I wish I had gotten to dive into it 20 years ago when it felt like fresh air amongst the 90 million Mario 64 clones because it just doesn't feel as original now as it was when it came out and that's not its fault. The world and denizens are well-crafted and they're all voiced in a way that's highly emotive. The only thing is EVERYTHING is voiced and they don't offer a subtitle option. And all the cutscenes are unskippable. I found myself bored to death with the constant conversational interruptions. And, despite being forced to watch, I really did not know and could not be bothered to care what the story was until the last hour. It was just an arbitrary excuse to get you into the variety of biomes on offer and that's fine with me. Just not memorable. What is memorable is the animation. The characters move in a way thats highly impressive. I've poured a lot of hours into other games from this year specifically and this game puts them to shame. GTA III's running and punching looks goofy af comparatively and this one's facial expressions just crush EVERYTHING. Especially Halo 1's muppet-mouth-ass characters. 😂. Last complaint: the health recovery is stupid af. You take three hits, then you die. Fine, okay. But to recover one chunk, you have to pick up like, FIFTY orbs. Might as well just die because the checkpoints are friendly enough. I'd bet money it's not in Jak 2.
I was alternatively annoyed and having a blast with this one. Completing the variety of objectives and acquiring all the collectables was genuinely great, aside from one or two annoying bike runs. The last boss was fun, but I've honestly forgotten if there was a single other boss in the game. Which is a shame. Anyway, I don't know if I can recommend playing this on PS2, but I'm pretty sure there are more modern releases with (hopefully) updated and refined gameplay which I'm sure would be a bit more pleasant.
Animation is top-notch
Variety of gameplay mechanics
Variety of missions
Character and level design
Voice acting is highly expressive
Cons:
Writing/story
Worst double jump
Range of camera
Lack of accessibility options
Worst health system
2001 was a hugely competitive year for gaming. The Gamecube and OG Xbox released with their big launch hits and PS2 dropped some of their most influential games to date. Super Smash Bros Melee, Halo: Combat Evolved, Grand Theft Auto 3, Metal Gear Solid 2, Max Payne, Pikmin, etc. Just a bananas release year. And Jak and Daxter was the first big 3D platformer of the new-gen by the Crash Bandicoot developer Naughty Dog who went on to be fuckin' legends. I gotta say, I'm surprised that this holds up as well as it does. There are plenty of entertaining mechanics here. Launch pads, vehicles, animal companions, power ups, decent platforming. Only decent because the double-jump sucks ass. It works when it feels like it and only if you haven't descended an INCH yet. Ugh. And the camera is utter balls half the time too, which can make or break a platformer. Sometimes the range is 360°, other times 90° and you can't even see the precise jump you have to make next. You have zero control over the Y-axis and the x-axis is permanently inverted with no alternative option. HATE that. I wish I had gotten to dive into it 20 years ago when it felt like fresh air amongst the 90 million Mario 64 clones because it just doesn't feel as original now as it was when it came out and that's not its fault. The world and denizens are well-crafted and they're all voiced in a way that's highly emotive. The only thing is EVERYTHING is voiced and they don't offer a subtitle option. And all the cutscenes are unskippable. I found myself bored to death with the constant conversational interruptions. And, despite being forced to watch, I really did not know and could not be bothered to care what the story was until the last hour. It was just an arbitrary excuse to get you into the variety of biomes on offer and that's fine with me. Just not memorable. What is memorable is the animation. The characters move in a way thats highly impressive. I've poured a lot of hours into other games from this year specifically and this game puts them to shame. GTA III's running and punching looks goofy af comparatively and this one's facial expressions just crush EVERYTHING. Especially Halo 1's muppet-mouth-ass characters. 😂. Last complaint: the health recovery is stupid af. You take three hits, then you die. Fine, okay. But to recover one chunk, you have to pick up like, FIFTY orbs. Might as well just die because the checkpoints are friendly enough. I'd bet money it's not in Jak 2.
I was alternatively annoyed and having a blast with this one. Completing the variety of objectives and acquiring all the collectables was genuinely great, aside from one or two annoying bike runs. The last boss was fun, but I've honestly forgotten if there was a single other boss in the game. Which is a shame. Anyway, I don't know if I can recommend playing this on PS2, but I'm pretty sure there are more modern releases with (hopefully) updated and refined gameplay which I'm sure would be a bit more pleasant.
Baldur's Gate 3
2020
Was very disappointed when I found out it was a city and not just a giant gate
QWOP
2008
More like Stop
I dunno man - all that for 30 minutes of new content is a little insane
This was the second game I ever played and I regret it tremendously
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