This Fire Emblem clone got me thinking that if Sakurai ever got his hands on it we'd probably see Aragorn and the Mouth of Sauron in Smash 6

I know that everything associated with this movie is a meme, but this game is one of the few I've ever played in my life that made me feel legitimately nauseous

Maybe the worst art design I've ever seen for a 2D side scroller where beyond it being confusing as to what you can jump on or interact with, it's also just UNBELIEVABLY ugly

We failed you, Mike Myers, we really did

My friends forced me to play COD so now I’m forcing them to play this and all is finally right in the world again

Together, somehow, we will defeat mommy Lilith

Idk if this is a hot take or not but, outside of the DLC, this might be the most boring roster for an MK game

All of the silly goofy characters are Kameos, leaving a list of fighters that range from humans to humans with swords

BRING BACK WEIRDOS LIKE MOLOCH AND KOLLECTOR #bringbackweirdos

Was anyone going to warn me that outside of combat this is borderline a Marvel dating sim?

It’s got the weirdest roster this side of Rise of the Imperfects but this time you get to dress them up in a bathing suit of your choice and improve your friendship level with them by going on “dates” to various havens

I’m not making this up

There came a point after Kingdom Hearts II where Tetsuya Nomura realized that he could just have main characters grunt instead of writing dialogue for them

No joke there’s a scene where Tifa talks at Cloud for a full minute or so and every single response he gives is a grunt

The music is beyond phenomenal though, wow I love me some tunes from J-action-RPGs

An indisputably terrible and scummy game…and yet, it’s currently the only way that I can play my two favorite childhood games on the hardware I own

I feel like a turd giving this anything above a half star but I WILL be playing this nonstop for weeks, ugly ugly warts and all

2022

One of the opening fights feels like a direct homage to the famous hallway battle in Oldboy, which means I can finally experience what it’s like to be Dae-Su Oh without sleeping with a family member

Diss-On-Her made me realize that I need more quality Bioshock-lite games in my life

I switched to the first-person aiming mode and my girlfriend let out a shriek of pure, unbridled terror at the janky jpeg of Buzz Lightyear's winking "reflection"

She Jak on my Daxter til that Precursor is my Legacy

But for real, whoever designed the double jump in this game needs to be hung in a dank medieval dungeon by their thumbs

On one hand I hate rhythm minigames, on the other hand I love Kingdom Hearts

At least they’ve learned from that unplayable Huey, Dewey, and Louie ice cream minigame from BBS that locked me out of Ventus’ campaign for two years of my adult life

The Nemoidians in here talk like your average fantasy NPC instead of being racist caricatures so that’s a -1 for lore accuracy and a +1 for common sense

There was a moment early on where I got jump scared by a tutorial video because you basically get ambushed by them for the first fifteen minutes without any context for the world or story beforehand

Also, it's a great sign when you're less than two hours in and feel like you've seen everything the game has to offer

That split-in-half enemy that throws a cross at you and I have an unspoken beef, it's on sight anytime we get in the same room together

No respect whatsoever