frogphoria
13 Reviews liked by frogphoria
F-Zero 99
2023
Why does this exist? Who thought an F-Zero battle royale game would work? The courses, virtually unchanged from the SNES game, don’t even come close to accommodating the volume of racers at any given stretch. F-Zero’s focus on precision is marred by surrounding chaos. Beyond a cheap, cynical ploy to bait nostalgia in uncritical fans, this game serves no purpose and makes no sense on any level. Maybe would have been great if this was Mario Kart instead? Whatever
Yoshi Goes to Tesco
2022
A harrowing story of life under capitalism, commenting on many topics such as Marx's theory of commodity fetishism and how the system benefits from members of the working class turning against each other
Bowser's Fury
2021
This is Mario's Majora's Mask. Re-use of existing engine and assets to make something new, check. Experimental gameplay centered around a ticking clock, check. Cathartic boss fight where you become giant, check. And with all these Sunshine callbacks set to an actually free-form progression system, it's like if Sunshine was good, let alone a closer follow-up to 64!
Yoshi Goes to Tesco
2022
Damn girl you british? that sucks :(( i hope they find a cure soon ! :((
If this game really did copy mortal kombat, then maybe mortal kombat would be good
Urban Champion
1984
If Nintendo can rerelease Urban Champion on as many different formats as they have despite it being absolute garbage, you can tell your crush how you feel about her.
1080° Snowboarding
1998
1080 Snowboarding is one of those games whose modern appeal can be difficult to contextualize; at the time a game-changer and universally praised, now outdated and lacking in character. While largely influential at its time, this game doesn't have anything significant to offer to new players in the current day apart from its enjoyable soundtrack and unique environmental aspects.
Released in 1998, the snowboarding game genre was just beginning to pick up steam, but the sport still lacked the popularity it does today, especially in the west. One of the most appreciable things about 1080 is that it ditched the "arcade racer" vibe that a lot of early snowboarding-and, indeed, most extreme sports games in general-were going for, and focused more on attempting to make a more "realistic" snowboarding game. Now, being 1998, the results were bound to age poorly, however, it's those realistic aspects that are the most interesting aspects of the game to this day. The various levels of snow and ice affect the way you ride down the track, and courses end up feeling more dynamic as a result.
Sadly, the rest of the game doesn't hold up as well. It's an incredibly brief game, and even with multiplayer content, there isn't much room for replayability in this game if you have something else to play. This would not be an issue, except that (with exception to what was mentioned above), 1080 doesn't have any distinguishing factor that would make it replayable, so it's short both in length and in ideas. The game is also relatively unforgiving, and you might find yourself crashing while turning or performing tricks, when it doesn't feel like you should have; the physics engine in general is quite wonky. The controls have aged poorly as well, and aren't intuitive, so there's a lot of trial and error that can go into playing this game before you figure out what the game wants you to do. Graphically, while the pinnacle of realism at the time, the game has also aged poorly, and has fallen behind other N64 games as time has gone on.
1080 Snowboarding was an important game to the snowboarding genre, and its influence upon later releases is noticeable, but it's a game that feels like all it has to offer is that it used to be important. For the snowboarding super fan, this game is interesting enough to be worth checking out, but for everyone else, there are far more rewarding games to play.
Pizza Tower
2023
I've been watching the progress of Pizza Tower for a long time now even before the demo came out and it's so fulfilling when a person takes heavy inspiration from a game series I like and adds new ideas to it.
pizza tower is one of those special games that has so much love and time put into it and it comes out as a mechanically beautiful game with such a smooth sense of control and gameplay flow. It takes Wario Land's ideas and adds so much more to it that makes it dense and wonderful to play with the movement, combat, and tech you can do to rack up more combos to get an S rank or even a P rank (the most gratifying thing to pull off in this game). With an addition to a variety of levels in terms of mechanics, design, and aesthetic you will never be bored playing a single level in this game. It brims with so much confidence on what it wants to be with its unhinged, comical self and creates on of the best games of 2023.
I fucking LOVE this game man.
Yakuza: Dead Souls
2011
I FUCKING LOVE YAKUZA DEAD SOULS
Moo Mesa is a Konami-developed, Sunset Riders-esque, multi-player shooter based on an obscure '90s cartoon. No surprise it's pretty charming, but it never reaches the gameplay heights of its main inspiration (much less the genius Mystic Warriors).