glee
5 reviews liked by glee
Vampire Survivors
2021
not morally egregious per se but rather a depressing culmination of a decade's worth of design trickery and (d)evolving cultural/social tastes and otherwise exists as insipid twitchcore autoplaying bullshit that should come with a contractual agreement binding its devotees to never speak prejudicially about mobile games or musou ever again lest they face legally enforced financial restitution. just play nex machina man. or watch NFL. been a fun season for that. fuck the review man let's talk sports in the comments
Pentiment
2022
โโ๐ช ๐ฃ๐ฏ๐ฌ๐ช ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฌ๐ด๐ซ ๐ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ก โญ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ก๐ค๐ข. โ๐ฑ'๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ก. โญ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ๐๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ก๐ค๐ข ๐ฆ๐ฐ ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ก๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ๐ด ๐๐ซ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ซ 2001 ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ฅ๐๐ก ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ก๐ข๐ซ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ญ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฉ๐๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฃ โ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฅ โญ๐๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ถ๐ด๐ฅ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข ๐ด๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฉ๐ก ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ก๐ข ๐ฌ๐ฃ โ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ก.
โ ๐ก๐ฆ๐ก๐ซโ๐ฑ ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ญ๐ฏ๐๐ถ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ค๐ฅ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ช๐ข๐ฐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ถ ๐ด๐๐ฐ๐ซโ๐ฑ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ช๐๐ฉ ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฉ โ ๐ด๐๐ฐ 14. ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ โ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฉ๐ข ๐ฐ๐๐ถ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฐ, โ ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ฏ๐๐ถ ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ค ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ก. โ ๐ก๐ฆ๐ก๐ซ'๐ฑ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐จ๐ข ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฑ๐ฌ ๐ช๐๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ โ ๐ด๐๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ, ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ โ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ซ๐จ โโ๐ก ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐จ๐ข ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด. ๐๐ถ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ช ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐๐ฑ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ฌ๐ฌ. ๐๐๐ถ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค โ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ ๐ข ๐๐ข ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฌ๐ฒโ ๐๐ซ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ก๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฉ๐ข ๐ด๐๐ฐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ฃ๐๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ข ๐ญ๐๐ฏ๐ฑ ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฑ๐ฌ ๐ช๐๐ฐ๐ฐ.
๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฟ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ดโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐บ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ยฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐โ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ญ๐พ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช๐ท๐๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท๐ญ๐ช๐ฝ๐ธ๐ป๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ธ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ข๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต๐ผ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐น๐พ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฝ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ท ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ธ๐๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต ๐๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ด. ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐พ๐ท๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฌ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ.
๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ช๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ, ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ต๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ช๐พ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ท๐ฌ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐๐ฅ. ๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ. ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐ญโ๐ผ ๐น๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ต๐ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฌ๐ป๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ป๐ฒ๐ถ๐ธ๐ท๐. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฌ๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐.
๐๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐พ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ถ๐ช๐ท ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ป๐ช๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ๐ฒ๐ผ๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ป๐ธ๐ผ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ถ๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. ๐ ๐ช๐ต๐๐ช๐๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ-๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ. ๐๐ท ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ช๐ต ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ช๐ญ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ช ๐ณ๐ธ๐ซ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฐ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต'๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฟ๐ช๐ต๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ข ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ฃ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ. ๐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ช๐ต-๐ช๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ถ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต.
๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ธ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
โ ๐ก๐ฆ๐ก๐ซโ๐ฑ ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ญ๐ฏ๐๐ถ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ฆ๐ค๐ฅ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ช๐ข๐ฐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ถ ๐ด๐๐ฐ๐ซโ๐ฑ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ช๐๐ฉ ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฉ โ ๐ด๐๐ฐ 14. ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ โ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฉ๐ข ๐ฐ๐๐ถ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ฉ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฐ, โ ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ญ๐ฏ๐๐ถ ๐๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ซ๐ค ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ข๐ช ๐ฆ๐ซ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ก. โ ๐ก๐ฆ๐ก๐ซ'๐ฑ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐จ๐ข ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฑ๐ฌ ๐ช๐๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฅ๐ข๐ซ โ ๐ด๐๐ฐ ๐ถ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ซ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ, ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ โ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ซ๐จ โโ๐ก ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐จ๐ข ๐ฆ๐ฑ ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ด. ๐๐ถ ๐ช๐ฒ๐ช ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฐ ๐ฑ๐ฅ๐๐ฑ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ฑ๐ฌ๐ฌ. ๐๐๐ถ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค โ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ ๐ข ๐๐ข ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฌ๐ฒโ ๐๐ซ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฅ๐๐ซ๐ก๐ฐ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฉ๐ข ๐ด๐๐ฐ ๐ช๐ถ ๐ฃ๐๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ข ๐ญ๐๐ฏ๐ฑ ๐ฌ๐ฃ ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ค ๐ฑ๐ฌ ๐ช๐๐ฐ๐ฐ.
๐ฟ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด๐ ๐ฝ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฟ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ดโ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐บ๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐๐๐๐. ๐ด ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ยฃ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฐ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐โ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ท๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ช๐ท๐ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ญ๐พ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ช๐ท๐๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท๐ญ๐ช๐ฝ๐ธ๐ป๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ท๐ธ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ข๐ฌ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต๐ผ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐น๐พ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฝ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ผ๐ฝ๐ป๐พ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. ๐๐ท ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต๐ผ ๐ฒ๐ท ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ป๐ท ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ต๐ต ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ, ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐ธ๐๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต ๐๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ช๐ป๐ด. ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ถ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐พ๐ท๐ฝ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ป๐ฌ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ญ๐ช๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท๐ต๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ท๐ญ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ป๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ.
๐ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ธ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ต๐ญ ๐พ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ช๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ต๐ญ, ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ช๐ป๐ญ๐ต๐ฎ๐ผ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ช๐พ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ช๐ต๐ต๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ช๐ท๐ฌ๐ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ท๐ฝ๐ป๐ช๐ฌ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐๐ฅ. ๐๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐พ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฝ ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ. ๐๐๐๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐ญโ๐ผ ๐น๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐น๐ฎ๐ธ๐น๐ต๐ฎ ๐๐ฑ๐ธ ๐ญ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ผ๐น๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ต๐ ๐ผ๐ช๐ฌ๐ป๐ช๐ถ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฝ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ช๐ฝ๐ป๐ฒ๐ถ๐ธ๐ท๐. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ต ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ผ๐ต๐ฎ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ป๐ธ๐ถ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฌ๐ต๐ช๐ผ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ท๐ด ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ธ๐ท ๐ซ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฎ๐.
๐๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ธ๐ญ ๐๐ฎ๐ต๐พ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐พ๐ถ๐ช๐ท ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ฎ, ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ธ๐น๐น๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป ๐น๐ป๐ช๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ถ๐ช๐ญ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ญ๐ฒ๐ผ๐น๐ธ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ป๐ธ๐ผ๐ผ ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ท ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ธ๐ถ๐ถ๐พ๐ท๐ฒ๐ธ๐ท. ๐ ๐ช๐ต๐๐ช๐๐ผ ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ผ ๐ธ๐ฏ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ฎ-๐ฏ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ฎ. ๐๐ท ๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ท๐ช๐ต ๐๐ฎ๐ช๐ป ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ ๐ช๐ญ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฝ ๐ช ๐ณ๐ธ๐ซ ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ช๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ ๐ ๐๐ช๐ผ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฐ๐ช๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐ผ๐ฌ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ธ๐ต'๐ผ ๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ผ ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ฟ๐ช๐ต๐พ๐ฎ๐ผ.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ช๐ด๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ข ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ฃ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ช๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ. ๐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ ๐๐ค๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ข๐ต๐ฃ๐ณ๐ช๐ฅ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ญ๐บ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ช๐ต-๐ช๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ถ๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต.
๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ธ๐ท, ๐ธ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ข ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ข ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
Vampire Survivors
2021
I have 50 hours in Vampire Survivors. I treat it like time machine. I use it to travel 30 minutes forward in time and feel nothing afterwards.
Thatcher's Techbase
2021
March 4th, 2020: I start a new job as software developer at a bank.ย
โจ
March 6th, 2020: Boris Johnson, leader of the Conservative Party of Great Britain, reassures the British public that the rise in SARS-CoV-2 cases is "nothing to be concerned about".
โจ
March 9th, 2020:ย Due to the rapid rise in SARS-CoV-2 ("coronavirus") cases in Asia and the European continent, financial markets go into free-fall. Billions of pounds of value are wiped away from companies around the world, in an event later dubbed as "The First Black Friday of 2020". My second-ever meeting at my new bank job is interrupted by financial traders screaming at each other and their phones in the corridor outside the conference room. Boris Johnson once again reassures the people of Britain that coronavirus will not be a problem in the UK.
โจ
March 10th, 2020: In the interests of personal and public safety, a number of software teams at my workplace decide to implement a joint 2-week work from home policy. An immediate evacuation of personnel, laptops and coffee mugs begins.ย
โจ
March 16th, 2020: A ban on non-essential travel comes into effect in the United Kingdom and citizens are advised to stay at home to curb the spread of coronavirus. The UK government claims that coronavirus "will be beaten in 12 weeks".
โจ
March 20th, 2020: Highly-anticipated video games Animal Crossing and DOOM: Eternal release around the world. Gamers who pre-ordered DOOM Eternal also receive a remastered port of DOOM 64, a 1997ย first-person shooterย game developed and published byย Midway Gamesย for theย Nintendo 64. This port of DOOM 64 also goes on general sale at the same time.ย
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March 23rd, 2020: My grandfather dies from complications related to the contraction of severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2ย (SARSโCoVโ2).
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March 26th, 2020: Due to UK government health policy that strongly encourages hospitals to release elderly patients who test positive for coronavirus into the care of residential care homes, my 60 year old mother is forced to give up her role as an events co-ordinator and take up full-time nursing duties.
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April 1st, 2020: Six people are allowed to attend my grandfather's burial, which is carried out by the local council's hazardous waste department. There is no funeral ceremony.ย
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April 3rd, 2020: Looking for something cheap to distract me, I purchase DOOM 64 for ยฃ1.50 on the Nintendo Switch, mistakenly believing it to be a Nintendo 64 port of the original DOOM (1993).ย
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April 6th, 2020: While playing map 16 of DOOM 64 - "Burnt Offerings" - I begin to realise that DOOM 64 (and DOOM in general) is something quite special.
April 30th, 2020: Boris Johnson assures the public that the UK is now "past the peak" of the coronavirus pandemic.โจ
May 2nd, 2020: Gradually beginning to enjoy the newfound freedoms of home-working, I download GZDoom and begin playing through "DOOM", "DOOM II" and their expansions whenever my code is compiling or I'm stuck waiting for a reply to an email.
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May 9th, 2020: I celebrate my 30th birthday. Between other housebound festivities, I play a wee bit of DOOM IIโs MAP04: The Focus to celebrate. Itโs my favourite DOOM map.
June 15th, 2020: My flatmate and I host a Streets of Rage 4 charity stream on Twitch, and attempt to clear the game's Arcade Mode on Mania difficulty in one sitting. After five attempts, we manage to make it two thirds of the way through the game before throwing in the towel. The stream raises ยฃ600 for Glasgow asylum seeker funds and social housing charities.
July 23rd, 2020: Noticing my increasingly-obsessional interest in the DOOM series, my flatmate buys me a copy of Masters of DOOM, a book that tells an oral history of John Carmack and John Romero's creation of the original 1993 game and its sequel.ย
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July 31st, 2020: A BAFTA award for investigative journalism is awarded to the BBC for a 2019 television interview with Prince Andrew, son of Queen Elizabeth II, regarding his association with Jeffrey Epstein and alleged involvement in child sex trafficking.
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August 2nd, 2020: I order a replica of John Romero's infamous "COOL GUYS AT THE BEACH" vest in anticipation of my upcoming summer holiday.
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August 11th, 2020: John Romero favs a picture of me wearing my "COOL GUYS AT THE BEACH" vest.
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August 21st, 2020: Twitter user @spewlieandrews makes a tweet about how he'd spend his eternity in Hell searching for Margaret Thatcher so that he could kill her again. I laugh at it and retweet it.
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September 13th, 2020: Tim Rogers releases ACTION BUTTON REVIEWS DOOM, an exhaustive 3-and-a-half hour review of DOOM (1993). During his review, Tim suggests that no one can honestly claim to be a true fan of DOOM until they have tried designing their own map for the game.ย
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September 22nd, 2020: Some "minor" lockdown restrictions are re-introduced across the United Kingdom in response to a rapid rise in coronavirus infections and ICU admisssions.ย The government stops offering restaurant patrons its financial incentive programme for eating out.
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September 24th, 2020: My girlfriend, a few weeks into her first year as a trainee doctor, is re-assigned to a new infectious diseases unit created in response to a severe rise in coronavirus cases across the city of Glasgow.
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September 26th, 2020: I receive a stern warning from my employer's infosec administrator for attempting to install WINE and Ultimate Doom Builder on my workplace laptop. I promise not to do it again and remain grateful that he didn't see the GZDoom launcher on my desktop while inspecting the laptop.
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September 27th, 2020: After successfully reformatting my old 2007 Lenovo laptop and installing Windows 10 on it, I begin the process of making a DOOM map.ย
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September 29th, 2020: After a few evenings spent learning how to make working doors and windows, I create a file called MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad and decide to make a standard DOOM (1993) techbase to test if I understand what the DOOM experts on YouTube have taught me so far.
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September 30th, 2020: To make the learning process funny (which is very important to me), I decide to use @spewlieandrewsโs August 21st, 2020 tweet about fighting through Hell to find Thatcher as a model for MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad. Making a techbase map about Margaret Thatcher naturally leads to MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad becoming THATCHERS-TECHBASE.wad later that day.ย
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October 8th, 2020: While in a pub on Islay, my girlfriend and I find out that the Scottish Government is restricting hospitality opening times to 6am-6pm indoors. The sale of alcohol will not be permitted at any time. News of this announcement causes the entire pub to descend into Tennent's-fuelled chaos. After securing my final pint, I go back to drawing DOOM map layouts on my phone.ย ย
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October 21st, 2020: Construction begins on THATCHERโS BATTLE COLISEUM, one of the gameโs main boss arenas. At this point in development, I still donโt know what a Margaret Thatcher-based boss battle in the idTech1 engine would look like.
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October 27th, 2020: Struggling with mapperโs block, I decide to recreate the main lobby of Peachโs Castle from Super Mario 64 in DOOM. With a bit of texture-bashing, this later becomes one of the gameโs main lobbies. The iconic castle corridor where Peachโs portrait morphs into Bowserโs - one of my most precious gaming memories ever - is easily repurposed into a Thatcher joke.
October 31st, 2020: Submitting to widespread pressure from the media, general public and his own government officials, Boris Johnson finally announces a second coronavirus lockdown in order to prevent "a medical and moral disaster".โจ
November 1st, 2020: I finish playing through Going Down - perhaps the greatest DOOM wad of all time - and am reassured to discover that DOOM is a fantastic vehicle for comedy.
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November 4th, 2020: My flatmate buys me a copy of Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus,ย ย a 1995 book about DOOM mapping. The book comes with a CD-ROM that has a few hundred wads on it, but after 26 years on a bookshelf, the glue has fused the CDโs envelope shut andย ย I canโt get it open.ย
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November 5th, 2020: While reading Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus, I come across a chapter that describes โThe Best DOOM WADs Everโ. Among mods dedicated to The Simpsons and Beavis & Butthead, I find an entry for a wad called Return to Phobos. The author of Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus describes the wadโs E1M4 replacement as โone of the all-time great DOOM mapsโ. Iโve never heard of it.
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November 6th, 2020: Still curious about Return to Phobos and unable to get the glue off my CD-ROM, I spend some time searching the internet for the wad file. After downloading and playing two other DOOM wads called Return to Phobos that arenโt the particular 1995 Return to Phobos wad that I was looking for, I eventually locate the all-time great E1M4 replacement. Itโs a giant factory with a balcony at the rear that lets you look out at a stunning 128x128 industrial skybox. I like it. Some of the doors donโt work and the textures are out of alignment, but I like it.ย
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November 7th, 2020: E1M4 of Return to Phobos is resurrected and thoroughly repurposed as a mining facility for THATCHERโS TECHBASE. While retexturing a big slime pit, I find out Joe Biden has been elected president of the United States. I return to retexturing my slime pit.
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December 14th, 2020: I submit a fake article to my friendโs zine in the style of a 90s video games magazine article. To fill the page out, I stick some wigs on cyberdemon, imp and pinkie sprites to make them look like infamous politicians. The image of a cyberdemon rocking Thatcherโs iconic blow-dry job really makes me laugh.
December 19th, 2020: Due to a rapid rise in coronavirus infections and critical demand on healthcare services, the British and Scottish governments announce a ban on household mixing over the Christmas period. "Tier four" lockdown restrictions now apply indefinitely.
December 25th, 2020: I have an instant curry with my brother and girlfriend before they head off to work on emergency infectious diseases wards at the local hospital because people are being ventilated in corridors and are having to sleep on beds placed in storage rooms. I watch Home Alone 2 then do a bit of work on THATCHER'S TECHBASE.
January 1st, 2021: Waking up to an empty house again, I decide to spend my first hours of the first day of 2021 fucking about with THATCHER'S TECHBASE again. I am severely hung over and vomit into the bin next to my computer within minutes of trying to play the big lobby fight. Maybe tomorrow.
January 22nd, 2021: With the majority of the map's layout, scripting and enemy placement done, I decide to take a short sabbatical from map-making to do some research on the Margaret Thatcher premiership period, which lasted from 1979 - 1990. I watch a number of documentaries, fiction films andYouTube videos that are related, directly or indirectly, to the Thatcher government and its influence on British society in the 1980s. Examples include Pride, The Fully Monty, Brassed Off, The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Herย Lover and Pink Floyd's The Wall.
February 17th, 2021: After spending a lot of time reading very snobby, snooty and sanctimonious guides on how to do pixel art for DOOM, I begin adding my points of reference to the game as in-game textures and sprites. I find the pipeline of identifying images, tailoring them to the specifications of the DOOM engine and adding my own artistic flourishes to be one of the most satisfying parts of the THATCHER'S TECHBASE design process so far.
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March 16th, 2021: Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth II, is photographed leaving hospital following a heart transplant at age 99. His incredibly sullen features and sickly demeanour prompt a number of internet memes and satirical artworks that I enjoy very much.
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March 19th, 2021: While watching a decino video about the inner workings of the DOOM engine, I learn that Commander Keen objects (as seen in DOOM IIโs MAP32) have a special property that causes them to open doors tagged โ666โ on a map when they are shot at.ย
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March 21st, 2021: While doing a biweekly watch of my favourite One Piece scenes, I realise that the Commander Keen object in DOOM could be repurposed to resemble a shootable flag. I animate a burning Union Jack sprite and replace the Keen frames with it.
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March 24th, 2021: New guidance mandates that all government buildings in the United Kingdom will fly the Union flag at all times.ย
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April 4th, 2021: Buckingham Palace announces that Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth II, has died at the age of 99.ย
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April 6th, 2021: After a number of unsuccessful attempts to convincingly put a Thatcher wig on a Cyberdemon, I decide to ask someone with actual talent to do it for me and commission a pixel artist from Brazil. When he asks me to do a sketch explaining what the hell Iโm talking about, I realise it would also be pretty funny to give her a ripped jacket and handbag.ย https://ibb.co/HpLpkFP
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April 7th, 2021: After a nervous 24 hour wait spent wondering if I am certifiably insane, I receive an enthusiastic reply from the artist, who agrees to create the necessary sprites for a Cyberdemon sprite replacement. The enemy has now been creatively dubbed โCyberThatcherโ.
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April 10th, 2021: CyberThatcherโs handbag is dropped due to logistical issues.
April 12th, 2021: Non-essential retail reopens in England and Wales.
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April 17th, 2021: The CyberThatcher sprite sheet is completed and inserted into the game.
April 20th, 2021: I get a haircut for the first time in over a year.
April 26th, 2021: A leaked recording from inside 10 Downing Street reveals that in the autumn of 2020, Boris Johnson said that he would rather "let bodies pile high in their thousands" than take the country into another coronavirus lockdown. Once again, I feel regret that I don't have the time or resources available to put a Boris Johnson wig on that pinkie sprite.
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May 12th, 2021: After four months spent playing my wad while listening to a MIDI version of LMAOโs Party Rock Anthem on repeat, I decide that the main map of THATCHERโS TECHBASE probably deserves a more fitting soundtrack. I contact my friend Barry Topping with a tongue-in-cheek job offer, suggesting he compose a โman on a missionโ-styled metal track in the vein of the original DOOM games. As an avowed metalhead, he graciously accepts the offer of a lifetime.ย
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May 13th, 2021: Barry sends me โthatcher1.mp3โ, an awesome minute-long sample of the song heโs written. Much to Barryโs dismay, I inform him that the map takes between 40 minutes and an hour to beat in its present state. I have inadvertently tasked him with the horrendous job of coming up with a tune that someone would be happy to listen to upwards of 60 times in a row.
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May 16th, 2021: Barry sends me โthatcher2.mp3โ, an incredible six-minute long sample of the song heโs written. Much to my delight, the song isย now 6 minutes long and could comfortably be listened to on repeat upwards of 120 times in a row. In honour of our new-found creative partnership and a long-standing ironic catchphrase related to the failures of the 2014 Scottish Referendum on Independence, the track is dubbed "L2VN" - "Love 2 Vote No".
June 16th, 2021: After seeing more of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, Barry very kindly offers to compose more music for the game.
June 18th, 2021: Barry produces the opening theme of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, to be used with the main menu.
June 21st, 2021: All coronavirus restrictions are lifted across the United Kingdom.
June 25th, 2021: I build a quick test area in THATCHER'S TECHBASE in order to work on some new Doomcute objects. While bashing together a few chairs, cigarettes and cans of Tennent's Lager, I realise that the test area is actually pretty fun to hang out in and decide to keep it in.
โจJune 26th, 2021: After a few hours spent quickly map-bashing some assets from iconic 90s DOOM wad STAR WARS DOOM 2, I turn my quick test area into a UAC headquarters building and move everything out into a new MAP01 slot in the wad. This map becomes The Beginning of THATCHER'S TECHBASE.
June 28th, 2021: THATCHERโS TECHBASE is awarded an E3 best of THIS 2021 Award by MechaGamezilla.
July 8th, 2021: I share a pre-release build of THATCHER'S TECHBASE with some DOOM wad enthusiasts.
July 9th, 2021: A DOOM player and wadding/modding enthusiast with 25 years of experience laments that I didn't share THATCHER'S TECHBASE sooner - not because it's amazing, but because it's gotten wildly out of hand and he thinks it needs to get under control. He shares some very harsh but fair advice with me.
July 10th, 2021: I cut a number of sections from THATCHER'S TECHBASE in the interests of not making players go mad with confusion/stress/boredom. Approximately 2,500 sectors are deleted in one hour. With far less map to maintain, I feel much better about the project.
July 11th, 2021: An amateur DOOM player struggles to realise that a wall in front of them at the start of MAP02 is a door. I start to feel much worse about the project and wonder if anyone will be able to understand me. I begin to fear that if THATCHER'S TECHBASE was a ยฃ60 game you could buy in a shop, people would be looking for their receipts in the first ten minutes.
July 22nd, 2021: While watching footage of The Beginning, Barry notices similarities between the wad's Express Elevator to Hell and the opening of Paradise Killer. WHITEHELL, MAP01's track, is extended to include one of his signature funky interludes.
August 4th, 2021: In the middle of a rare Scottish heatwave, I play through some of Flower, Sun and Rain's most infamously obtuse and player-adversarial chapters and begin to understand the value in placing priority on my own game world over the game world that a player might expect.
August 20th, 2021: I play through the infamous toilet maze puzzle in Grasshopper Manufactureโs The 25th Ward: The Silver Case. After months of feeling guilty about forcing potential THATCHERโS TECHBASE players through harshly indistinct mazes, I suddenly feel much better about myself and the game and begin to see the humour in making gamers suffer.
August 23rd, 2021: Realising that I could probably spend months (if not years) refining the map to no end, I decide to do the one thing I never wanted to do since the moment the project began - I set myself an arbitrary deadline of September 24th, 2021 for the release of THATCHER'S TECHBASE and decide to get the wad into a playable state by that date.
August 25th, 2021: Realising that the content of THATCHER'S TECHBASE makes it an unlikely candidate for inclusion in the idgames wad archive, I make a website to host the wad instead. Inspired by my prior success raising money for charity with Streets of Rage 4, I include a donations link for organisations suggested by Hope Not Hate, a group set up in the wake of Margaret Thatcher's death to encourage people to support communities affected by the decisions of her government.
August 28th, 2021: Hoping I can find a way for the game to played by more people than just by immediate friends and appreciator's of Barry "Epoch" Topping's music, I enlist my friend Richie Morgan to make a tongue-in-cheek trailer for the game to help get the word out.
September 1st, 2021: The trailer for THATCHER'S TECHBASE is completed, but I feel like it's missing something - namely, the voice of Margaret Thatcher herself. I approach a guy on Twitter who is really good at imitating Duke Nukem and Dr. Kleiner from Half-Life and ask him if he knows anyone who could do a good Thatcher impersonation.
September 2nd, 2021: Gianni, the Duke in question, responds quickly and recommends Laila Berzins - the voice of Demeter in Hades and a bunch of anime boys in Sword Art Online. Despite my reservations about how much a professional voice actor would cost, Gianni strongly recommends that I ask her anyway. In the space of an hour, Laila sends me six voice lines and waives the majority of her fee upon learning that it's a free game about killing Margaret Thatcher that intends to raise money for charity.
September 13th, 2021: I get a cat.
September 14th, 2021: After being condemned by the UK's chief medical officer for spreading coronavirus misinformation, Nicki Minaj releases a Twitter voice note that claims she was an Oxford classmate of the late British prime minister Margaret Thatcher.
September 15th, 2021: The THATCHERโS TECHBASE trailer launches. In its first day on Twitter, it somehow gets 3000 retweets and 8000 favourites. A lot of gaming websites turn the tweet thread about the trailer into low-effort content for their blogs. People with small brains send me a fair few messages with insinuations of sacrilege, treason and other acts of digital terrorism. I am generally shitting myself.
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September 16th, 2021: Articles about THATCHERโS TECHBASE are published in The Independent and NME. A pal from 15 years ago phones me up to tell me how excited he is to play the game. John Romero retweets a Rock Paper Shotgun article about the game and declares that he's going to play the wad. I am now really shitting myself.
September 19th, 2021: Gillian Anderson wins an Emmy Award for her portrayal of the late British prime minister Margaret Thatcher. After the awards show, Anderson is asked if she consulted the Iron Lady about the role. She claims she has not spoken to Margaret Thatcher recently.
September 20th, 2021: UK bottling plants and farm suppliers report that there is only enough C02 supply to last the nation "one or two more weeks" - this prompts mass panic buying of Coca-Cola, Irn Bru and other carbonated drinks. The price of Irn Bru immediately rises by ยฃ1.50, and multipacks are auctioned on eBay.
September 23rd, 2021: Shortages of diesel and petrol are reported across the United Kingdom, prompting a wave of panic buying nation-wide. Ambulances at the hospital my girlfriend works at are forced to suspend service, as local petrol stations have been selling their emergency reserve supplies to desperate bidders.
September 24th, 2021: About an hour before I am due to publish THATCHER'S TECHBASE on the web, my daily post arrives. A firm of lawyers representing Tennent's Lager order me to remove any copyrighted branding and images related to Tennent's Lager from THATCHER'S TECHBASE - in exchange, Tennent's Lager will make charitable donations to the organisations suggested by 3D: Doom Daddy Digital's website. I comply, replacing the T cans with legally-distinct F cans with only 30 minutes to spare.
At 12pm BST, THATCHER'S TECHBASE is released to the public.
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Still with me? Great. Thank you.
So - that's how I got here. As you can see above, THATCHER'S TECHBASE is a piss-take the just kept gaining more and more piss-taking momentum until it reached a critical mass of taken piss. A silly distraction in a hopeless situation that was ultimately powered by the twin engines of my love of a good joke and my hatred for the Conservative and Unionist Party of the United Kingdom, birthed to a Global Britain that is imploding ever-inward.
When I first opened Ultimate Doom Builder on September 27th, 2020, I never intended for my finished product to become something that would have me taking interviews from magazines and newspapers. I never imagined that folk from Brazil and Argentina would message me about how much they loved the design of The Icon of Thatcher. I couldn't possibly conceive of Scotland's most beloved lager company giving their money to social justice causes so that they didn't have to be associated with my work. I just wanted to have a good time making a game and let others have a good time playing a game. Fortunately, I think I still managed to achieve that too.
A week out from release, it does feel like THATCHER'S TECHBASE was yet another victim of the classic video game hype pathology that we've all known about since the first time Nintendo Official Magazine promised us Dinosaur Planet was going to revolutionise the games industry as we knew it forever. When the trailer dropped, people were proclaiming it Game of the Year, Game of the Decade, Game of the Century - and in a way, it kinda hurt to see people pin their Thatcher-bashing hopes on something that only I seemed to know was an amateur production. I knew people were probably joking, but I also knew people were probably going to be let down by THATCHER'S TECHBASE - and there was no realistic means of telling them that without sounding like a moron or a fraud.
After a chaotic launch day filled with technical hitches and streamers angrily messaging me with disapproval over the game's more "extreme" content, I've shied away from reading too much opinion on the wad. Some people get it; some people really don't. While Barry, Richie and my other friends did their best to elevate THATCHER'S TECHBASE into something spectacular, it is still ultimately a quick and dirty little amateur DOOM wad with some Margaret Thatcher paint coating its non-orthogonal walls. Is that sort of thing really worth writing about in a newspaper? Is that sort of thing really worth streaming to your audience of thousands? Is that sort of thing really worth five stars on Backloggd? Or even four stars? Debatable! But it's my work, and I'm proud of it. If I don't give it five stars, how could I expect anyone else to? THATCHER'S TECHBASE is what it is, and aside from a few more minor tweaks and improvements I plan to make in the near future, I guess people will just have to deal with that. (Lemme tell ya - I never imagined someone would DM me to complain that the Thatcher's Grave section wasn't "optimised for co-op play" lmao)
In many ways, I'm relieved that my criticisms of THATCHER'S TECHBASE are other people's criticisms of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, too. I haven't yet been blindsided by any huge oversights in design or presentation, which was a perpetual worry while creating the wad. Aside from occasional DOOM-building tutorials and design guides, I tried to make as much of THATCHER'S TECHBASE as I could by myself - pretentious or not, I wanted it to be my work, my ideas, my thoughts, my feelings, untainted by outsiders as much as possible - something inside me just told me that this had to be my vision of Hell. Arguably a very naive decision, but I was worried that opening the game up to too much of the internet's collective-constructive consciousness early on in the process would derail me from the goals that were formed in my mind from day one. I wanted THATCHER'S TECHBASE to be fun to play and nice to look at, but ultimately the project was a therapeutic outlet for me in an era where everything outside of DOOM's space brought so much pain and anger... Something about Margaret Thatcher and DOOM just felt like such a natural fit in every single way. The overlap in time period, the rage, the pain, the suffering, the helplessness, the despair, the manic, desperate energy of it all - at no point in the process did I doubt that Thatcher deserved to be the subject of her own DOOM wad. It's more that the technical process of creating said wad was a huge hurdle for a first-time wadder to clear.
Obviously, my introverted development process backfired in many ways - as we read in the July 9th, 2021 entry of the THATCHER'S TECHBASE: OFFICIAL TIMELINE, I found out way too late in the development process that I'd made something over-complex and under-designed, a map drawn on a pub napkin that was crushing itself under technical and practical weights that I didn't even know existed for a long time because I was only talking to myself about it. I let my mind run wild while my body was stuck in the same physical space for months on end, and it didn't always lead to great things. Would people enjoy THATCHER'S TECHBASE more if it was shorter, more direct? If the puzzles weren't so fucking esoteric? If I'd leaned the dial of difficulty closer to the original DOOM than The Plutonia Experiment? Probably! The wad's Hurt Me Plenty difficulty was designed to be enjoyed by people who've played their fair share of classic DOOM, but I don't think I ever considered that a) the wad would find a fanbase beyond hardcore gamers or b) that most DOOM source ports automatically drop their cursor on that pseudo-Hard difficulty at load time. I've seen more than one streamer ram their head against the first two sections of THATCHER'S TECHBASE and then throw in the towel when they really didn't need to - I'm Too Young To Die and Not Too Rough difficulty are probably the right difficulty levels for most people - but given the technical limitations of the original DOOM, it's nigh-on impossible to communicate that to people that not all hope is lost; that they can still make it to the juicy CyberThatcher MK1/MK2 content if they just dial back difficulty a little. But by the same token - shouldn't a game about otherthrowing Margaret Thatcher and the systems of decaying power she represents be difficult? Like, really fucking difficult? Did you really think you could waltz into a British Hell and sort things out in an afternoon? C'mon now. The longer THATCHER'S TECHBASE exists in the ether, the less of an issue the challenges of the game should become, hopefully. I've yet to hear about anyone beating it on AUSTERITY difficulty, though, and in a weird, perverse way, that kinda makes me happy. It's not remotely fair!
One thing that has been validating about the game, in a weird way, is that the two "puzzles" I put the most time into - the "Three Thatchers" lobby and the desecration of Union Jack flag - are the two things that have provoked the most remarks, questions and frustrations. While I'm not going to wash my hands of any criticisms those parts of the game have provoked, they really were meant to tease and terrorise you until you arrived at the same conclusions I did while making the wad - that images of Margaret Thatcher and the United Kingdom have to be destroyed with a double-barrelled shotgun if you want to break free and move forward.
When you make a point of intentionally creating something in a vacuum, there can be an overbearing sense of dread regarding everyone else who's standing inside the airlock - will this silly little puzzle make sense to them? Is this fight too hard if you don't know where the health packs are? Is this bit of artwork going too far into a realm that should stay inside me? Will people be annoyed by this? All of this? That was probably the scariest thing about making something like THATCHER'S TECHBASE. Every time I approached an outsider about a sprite, a sound effect or a voice line, I expected nothing but disgust, despair or abject laughter. Maybe even a referral to a psychiatric unit. But not once did I receive anything but the greatest of care from others. Every request was met with kindness - much more kind than it deserved. People seemed more than willing to help me. And that felt fucking great.
I made THATCHER'S TECHBASE more or less by myself in a physical and mental isolation, but THATCHER'S TECHBASE wouldn't exist without everyone else. Everyone who suffered directly as a consequence of Margret Thatcher's decisions as a politician, everyone who stood up and was counted by her, everyone who tried to take count of her in kind; everyone who worked on the original DOOM games, everyone who contributed to DOOM's legacy in some way, everyone who played DOOM at some point in their life; everyone who said that the wad was a good idea, everyone who gave me a stupid idea to throw into the game, everyone who wrote a song for it, everyone who recorded a voice line for it, everyone who drew a picture of a Cyberdemon in a pearl necklace; every single person helped create this stupid little DOOM wad in their own way - and I'm really glad that they did. Because it wouldn't be anything without them.
This game is dedicated to everyone Margaret Thatcher and everyone who hated Margaret Thatcher.
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March 6th, 2020: Boris Johnson, leader of the Conservative Party of Great Britain, reassures the British public that the rise in SARS-CoV-2 cases is "nothing to be concerned about".
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March 9th, 2020:ย Due to the rapid rise in SARS-CoV-2 ("coronavirus") cases in Asia and the European continent, financial markets go into free-fall. Billions of pounds of value are wiped away from companies around the world, in an event later dubbed as "The First Black Friday of 2020". My second-ever meeting at my new bank job is interrupted by financial traders screaming at each other and their phones in the corridor outside the conference room. Boris Johnson once again reassures the people of Britain that coronavirus will not be a problem in the UK.
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March 10th, 2020: In the interests of personal and public safety, a number of software teams at my workplace decide to implement a joint 2-week work from home policy. An immediate evacuation of personnel, laptops and coffee mugs begins.ย
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March 16th, 2020: A ban on non-essential travel comes into effect in the United Kingdom and citizens are advised to stay at home to curb the spread of coronavirus. The UK government claims that coronavirus "will be beaten in 12 weeks".
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March 20th, 2020: Highly-anticipated video games Animal Crossing and DOOM: Eternal release around the world. Gamers who pre-ordered DOOM Eternal also receive a remastered port of DOOM 64, a 1997ย first-person shooterย game developed and published byย Midway Gamesย for theย Nintendo 64. This port of DOOM 64 also goes on general sale at the same time.ย
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March 23rd, 2020: My grandfather dies from complications related to the contraction of severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2ย (SARSโCoVโ2).
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March 26th, 2020: Due to UK government health policy that strongly encourages hospitals to release elderly patients who test positive for coronavirus into the care of residential care homes, my 60 year old mother is forced to give up her role as an events co-ordinator and take up full-time nursing duties.
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April 1st, 2020: Six people are allowed to attend my grandfather's burial, which is carried out by the local council's hazardous waste department. There is no funeral ceremony.ย
โจ
April 3rd, 2020: Looking for something cheap to distract me, I purchase DOOM 64 for ยฃ1.50 on the Nintendo Switch, mistakenly believing it to be a Nintendo 64 port of the original DOOM (1993).ย
โจ
April 6th, 2020: While playing map 16 of DOOM 64 - "Burnt Offerings" - I begin to realise that DOOM 64 (and DOOM in general) is something quite special.
April 30th, 2020: Boris Johnson assures the public that the UK is now "past the peak" of the coronavirus pandemic.โจ
May 2nd, 2020: Gradually beginning to enjoy the newfound freedoms of home-working, I download GZDoom and begin playing through "DOOM", "DOOM II" and their expansions whenever my code is compiling or I'm stuck waiting for a reply to an email.
โจ
May 9th, 2020: I celebrate my 30th birthday. Between other housebound festivities, I play a wee bit of DOOM IIโs MAP04: The Focus to celebrate. Itโs my favourite DOOM map.
June 15th, 2020: My flatmate and I host a Streets of Rage 4 charity stream on Twitch, and attempt to clear the game's Arcade Mode on Mania difficulty in one sitting. After five attempts, we manage to make it two thirds of the way through the game before throwing in the towel. The stream raises ยฃ600 for Glasgow asylum seeker funds and social housing charities.
July 23rd, 2020: Noticing my increasingly-obsessional interest in the DOOM series, my flatmate buys me a copy of Masters of DOOM, a book that tells an oral history of John Carmack and John Romero's creation of the original 1993 game and its sequel.ย
โจ
July 31st, 2020: A BAFTA award for investigative journalism is awarded to the BBC for a 2019 television interview with Prince Andrew, son of Queen Elizabeth II, regarding his association with Jeffrey Epstein and alleged involvement in child sex trafficking.
โจ
August 2nd, 2020: I order a replica of John Romero's infamous "COOL GUYS AT THE BEACH" vest in anticipation of my upcoming summer holiday.
โจ
August 11th, 2020: John Romero favs a picture of me wearing my "COOL GUYS AT THE BEACH" vest.
โจ
August 21st, 2020: Twitter user @spewlieandrews makes a tweet about how he'd spend his eternity in Hell searching for Margaret Thatcher so that he could kill her again. I laugh at it and retweet it.
โจ
September 13th, 2020: Tim Rogers releases ACTION BUTTON REVIEWS DOOM, an exhaustive 3-and-a-half hour review of DOOM (1993). During his review, Tim suggests that no one can honestly claim to be a true fan of DOOM until they have tried designing their own map for the game.ย
โจ
September 22nd, 2020: Some "minor" lockdown restrictions are re-introduced across the United Kingdom in response to a rapid rise in coronavirus infections and ICU admisssions.ย The government stops offering restaurant patrons its financial incentive programme for eating out.
โจ
September 24th, 2020: My girlfriend, a few weeks into her first year as a trainee doctor, is re-assigned to a new infectious diseases unit created in response to a severe rise in coronavirus cases across the city of Glasgow.
โจ
September 26th, 2020: I receive a stern warning from my employer's infosec administrator for attempting to install WINE and Ultimate Doom Builder on my workplace laptop. I promise not to do it again and remain grateful that he didn't see the GZDoom launcher on my desktop while inspecting the laptop.
โจ
September 27th, 2020: After successfully reformatting my old 2007 Lenovo laptop and installing Windows 10 on it, I begin the process of making a DOOM map.ย
โจ
September 29th, 2020: After a few evenings spent learning how to make working doors and windows, I create a file called MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad and decide to make a standard DOOM (1993) techbase to test if I understand what the DOOM experts on YouTube have taught me so far.
โจ
September 30th, 2020: To make the learning process funny (which is very important to me), I decide to use @spewlieandrewsโs August 21st, 2020 tweet about fighting through Hell to find Thatcher as a model for MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad. Making a techbase map about Margaret Thatcher naturally leads to MY-COOL-MAP-01.wad becoming THATCHERS-TECHBASE.wad later that day.ย
โจ
October 8th, 2020: While in a pub on Islay, my girlfriend and I find out that the Scottish Government is restricting hospitality opening times to 6am-6pm indoors. The sale of alcohol will not be permitted at any time. News of this announcement causes the entire pub to descend into Tennent's-fuelled chaos. After securing my final pint, I go back to drawing DOOM map layouts on my phone.ย ย
โจ
October 21st, 2020: Construction begins on THATCHERโS BATTLE COLISEUM, one of the gameโs main boss arenas. At this point in development, I still donโt know what a Margaret Thatcher-based boss battle in the idTech1 engine would look like.
โจ
October 27th, 2020: Struggling with mapperโs block, I decide to recreate the main lobby of Peachโs Castle from Super Mario 64 in DOOM. With a bit of texture-bashing, this later becomes one of the gameโs main lobbies. The iconic castle corridor where Peachโs portrait morphs into Bowserโs - one of my most precious gaming memories ever - is easily repurposed into a Thatcher joke.
October 31st, 2020: Submitting to widespread pressure from the media, general public and his own government officials, Boris Johnson finally announces a second coronavirus lockdown in order to prevent "a medical and moral disaster".โจ
November 1st, 2020: I finish playing through Going Down - perhaps the greatest DOOM wad of all time - and am reassured to discover that DOOM is a fantastic vehicle for comedy.
โจ
November 4th, 2020: My flatmate buys me a copy of Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus,ย ย a 1995 book about DOOM mapping. The book comes with a CD-ROM that has a few hundred wads on it, but after 26 years on a bookshelf, the glue has fused the CDโs envelope shut andย ย I canโt get it open.ย
โจ
November 5th, 2020: While reading Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus, I come across a chapter that describes โThe Best DOOM WADs Everโ. Among mods dedicated to The Simpsons and Beavis & Butthead, I find an entry for a wad called Return to Phobos. The author of Tricks of the DOOM Programming Gurus describes the wadโs E1M4 replacement as โone of the all-time great DOOM mapsโ. Iโve never heard of it.
โจ
November 6th, 2020: Still curious about Return to Phobos and unable to get the glue off my CD-ROM, I spend some time searching the internet for the wad file. After downloading and playing two other DOOM wads called Return to Phobos that arenโt the particular 1995 Return to Phobos wad that I was looking for, I eventually locate the all-time great E1M4 replacement. Itโs a giant factory with a balcony at the rear that lets you look out at a stunning 128x128 industrial skybox. I like it. Some of the doors donโt work and the textures are out of alignment, but I like it.ย
โจ
November 7th, 2020: E1M4 of Return to Phobos is resurrected and thoroughly repurposed as a mining facility for THATCHERโS TECHBASE. While retexturing a big slime pit, I find out Joe Biden has been elected president of the United States. I return to retexturing my slime pit.
โจ
December 14th, 2020: I submit a fake article to my friendโs zine in the style of a 90s video games magazine article. To fill the page out, I stick some wigs on cyberdemon, imp and pinkie sprites to make them look like infamous politicians. The image of a cyberdemon rocking Thatcherโs iconic blow-dry job really makes me laugh.
December 19th, 2020: Due to a rapid rise in coronavirus infections and critical demand on healthcare services, the British and Scottish governments announce a ban on household mixing over the Christmas period. "Tier four" lockdown restrictions now apply indefinitely.
December 25th, 2020: I have an instant curry with my brother and girlfriend before they head off to work on emergency infectious diseases wards at the local hospital because people are being ventilated in corridors and are having to sleep on beds placed in storage rooms. I watch Home Alone 2 then do a bit of work on THATCHER'S TECHBASE.
January 1st, 2021: Waking up to an empty house again, I decide to spend my first hours of the first day of 2021 fucking about with THATCHER'S TECHBASE again. I am severely hung over and vomit into the bin next to my computer within minutes of trying to play the big lobby fight. Maybe tomorrow.
January 22nd, 2021: With the majority of the map's layout, scripting and enemy placement done, I decide to take a short sabbatical from map-making to do some research on the Margaret Thatcher premiership period, which lasted from 1979 - 1990. I watch a number of documentaries, fiction films andYouTube videos that are related, directly or indirectly, to the Thatcher government and its influence on British society in the 1980s. Examples include Pride, The Fully Monty, Brassed Off, The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Herย Lover and Pink Floyd's The Wall.
February 17th, 2021: After spending a lot of time reading very snobby, snooty and sanctimonious guides on how to do pixel art for DOOM, I begin adding my points of reference to the game as in-game textures and sprites. I find the pipeline of identifying images, tailoring them to the specifications of the DOOM engine and adding my own artistic flourishes to be one of the most satisfying parts of the THATCHER'S TECHBASE design process so far.
โจ
March 16th, 2021: Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth II, is photographed leaving hospital following a heart transplant at age 99. His incredibly sullen features and sickly demeanour prompt a number of internet memes and satirical artworks that I enjoy very much.
โจ
March 19th, 2021: While watching a decino video about the inner workings of the DOOM engine, I learn that Commander Keen objects (as seen in DOOM IIโs MAP32) have a special property that causes them to open doors tagged โ666โ on a map when they are shot at.ย
โจ
March 21st, 2021: While doing a biweekly watch of my favourite One Piece scenes, I realise that the Commander Keen object in DOOM could be repurposed to resemble a shootable flag. I animate a burning Union Jack sprite and replace the Keen frames with it.
โจ
March 24th, 2021: New guidance mandates that all government buildings in the United Kingdom will fly the Union flag at all times.ย
โจ
April 4th, 2021: Buckingham Palace announces that Prince Philip, husband of Queen Elizabeth II, has died at the age of 99.ย
โจ
April 6th, 2021: After a number of unsuccessful attempts to convincingly put a Thatcher wig on a Cyberdemon, I decide to ask someone with actual talent to do it for me and commission a pixel artist from Brazil. When he asks me to do a sketch explaining what the hell Iโm talking about, I realise it would also be pretty funny to give her a ripped jacket and handbag.ย https://ibb.co/HpLpkFP
โจ
April 7th, 2021: After a nervous 24 hour wait spent wondering if I am certifiably insane, I receive an enthusiastic reply from the artist, who agrees to create the necessary sprites for a Cyberdemon sprite replacement. The enemy has now been creatively dubbed โCyberThatcherโ.
โจ
April 10th, 2021: CyberThatcherโs handbag is dropped due to logistical issues.
April 12th, 2021: Non-essential retail reopens in England and Wales.
โจ
April 17th, 2021: The CyberThatcher sprite sheet is completed and inserted into the game.
April 20th, 2021: I get a haircut for the first time in over a year.
April 26th, 2021: A leaked recording from inside 10 Downing Street reveals that in the autumn of 2020, Boris Johnson said that he would rather "let bodies pile high in their thousands" than take the country into another coronavirus lockdown. Once again, I feel regret that I don't have the time or resources available to put a Boris Johnson wig on that pinkie sprite.
โจ
May 12th, 2021: After four months spent playing my wad while listening to a MIDI version of LMAOโs Party Rock Anthem on repeat, I decide that the main map of THATCHERโS TECHBASE probably deserves a more fitting soundtrack. I contact my friend Barry Topping with a tongue-in-cheek job offer, suggesting he compose a โman on a missionโ-styled metal track in the vein of the original DOOM games. As an avowed metalhead, he graciously accepts the offer of a lifetime.ย
โจ
May 13th, 2021: Barry sends me โthatcher1.mp3โ, an awesome minute-long sample of the song heโs written. Much to Barryโs dismay, I inform him that the map takes between 40 minutes and an hour to beat in its present state. I have inadvertently tasked him with the horrendous job of coming up with a tune that someone would be happy to listen to upwards of 60 times in a row.
โจ
May 16th, 2021: Barry sends me โthatcher2.mp3โ, an incredible six-minute long sample of the song heโs written. Much to my delight, the song isย now 6 minutes long and could comfortably be listened to on repeat upwards of 120 times in a row. In honour of our new-found creative partnership and a long-standing ironic catchphrase related to the failures of the 2014 Scottish Referendum on Independence, the track is dubbed "L2VN" - "Love 2 Vote No".
June 16th, 2021: After seeing more of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, Barry very kindly offers to compose more music for the game.
June 18th, 2021: Barry produces the opening theme of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, to be used with the main menu.
June 21st, 2021: All coronavirus restrictions are lifted across the United Kingdom.
June 25th, 2021: I build a quick test area in THATCHER'S TECHBASE in order to work on some new Doomcute objects. While bashing together a few chairs, cigarettes and cans of Tennent's Lager, I realise that the test area is actually pretty fun to hang out in and decide to keep it in.
โจJune 26th, 2021: After a few hours spent quickly map-bashing some assets from iconic 90s DOOM wad STAR WARS DOOM 2, I turn my quick test area into a UAC headquarters building and move everything out into a new MAP01 slot in the wad. This map becomes The Beginning of THATCHER'S TECHBASE.
June 28th, 2021: THATCHERโS TECHBASE is awarded an E3 best of THIS 2021 Award by MechaGamezilla.
July 8th, 2021: I share a pre-release build of THATCHER'S TECHBASE with some DOOM wad enthusiasts.
July 9th, 2021: A DOOM player and wadding/modding enthusiast with 25 years of experience laments that I didn't share THATCHER'S TECHBASE sooner - not because it's amazing, but because it's gotten wildly out of hand and he thinks it needs to get under control. He shares some very harsh but fair advice with me.
July 10th, 2021: I cut a number of sections from THATCHER'S TECHBASE in the interests of not making players go mad with confusion/stress/boredom. Approximately 2,500 sectors are deleted in one hour. With far less map to maintain, I feel much better about the project.
July 11th, 2021: An amateur DOOM player struggles to realise that a wall in front of them at the start of MAP02 is a door. I start to feel much worse about the project and wonder if anyone will be able to understand me. I begin to fear that if THATCHER'S TECHBASE was a ยฃ60 game you could buy in a shop, people would be looking for their receipts in the first ten minutes.
July 22nd, 2021: While watching footage of The Beginning, Barry notices similarities between the wad's Express Elevator to Hell and the opening of Paradise Killer. WHITEHELL, MAP01's track, is extended to include one of his signature funky interludes.
August 4th, 2021: In the middle of a rare Scottish heatwave, I play through some of Flower, Sun and Rain's most infamously obtuse and player-adversarial chapters and begin to understand the value in placing priority on my own game world over the game world that a player might expect.
August 20th, 2021: I play through the infamous toilet maze puzzle in Grasshopper Manufactureโs The 25th Ward: The Silver Case. After months of feeling guilty about forcing potential THATCHERโS TECHBASE players through harshly indistinct mazes, I suddenly feel much better about myself and the game and begin to see the humour in making gamers suffer.
August 23rd, 2021: Realising that I could probably spend months (if not years) refining the map to no end, I decide to do the one thing I never wanted to do since the moment the project began - I set myself an arbitrary deadline of September 24th, 2021 for the release of THATCHER'S TECHBASE and decide to get the wad into a playable state by that date.
August 25th, 2021: Realising that the content of THATCHER'S TECHBASE makes it an unlikely candidate for inclusion in the idgames wad archive, I make a website to host the wad instead. Inspired by my prior success raising money for charity with Streets of Rage 4, I include a donations link for organisations suggested by Hope Not Hate, a group set up in the wake of Margaret Thatcher's death to encourage people to support communities affected by the decisions of her government.
August 28th, 2021: Hoping I can find a way for the game to played by more people than just by immediate friends and appreciator's of Barry "Epoch" Topping's music, I enlist my friend Richie Morgan to make a tongue-in-cheek trailer for the game to help get the word out.
September 1st, 2021: The trailer for THATCHER'S TECHBASE is completed, but I feel like it's missing something - namely, the voice of Margaret Thatcher herself. I approach a guy on Twitter who is really good at imitating Duke Nukem and Dr. Kleiner from Half-Life and ask him if he knows anyone who could do a good Thatcher impersonation.
September 2nd, 2021: Gianni, the Duke in question, responds quickly and recommends Laila Berzins - the voice of Demeter in Hades and a bunch of anime boys in Sword Art Online. Despite my reservations about how much a professional voice actor would cost, Gianni strongly recommends that I ask her anyway. In the space of an hour, Laila sends me six voice lines and waives the majority of her fee upon learning that it's a free game about killing Margaret Thatcher that intends to raise money for charity.
September 13th, 2021: I get a cat.
September 14th, 2021: After being condemned by the UK's chief medical officer for spreading coronavirus misinformation, Nicki Minaj releases a Twitter voice note that claims she was an Oxford classmate of the late British prime minister Margaret Thatcher.
September 15th, 2021: The THATCHERโS TECHBASE trailer launches. In its first day on Twitter, it somehow gets 3000 retweets and 8000 favourites. A lot of gaming websites turn the tweet thread about the trailer into low-effort content for their blogs. People with small brains send me a fair few messages with insinuations of sacrilege, treason and other acts of digital terrorism. I am generally shitting myself.
โจ
September 16th, 2021: Articles about THATCHERโS TECHBASE are published in The Independent and NME. A pal from 15 years ago phones me up to tell me how excited he is to play the game. John Romero retweets a Rock Paper Shotgun article about the game and declares that he's going to play the wad. I am now really shitting myself.
September 19th, 2021: Gillian Anderson wins an Emmy Award for her portrayal of the late British prime minister Margaret Thatcher. After the awards show, Anderson is asked if she consulted the Iron Lady about the role. She claims she has not spoken to Margaret Thatcher recently.
September 20th, 2021: UK bottling plants and farm suppliers report that there is only enough C02 supply to last the nation "one or two more weeks" - this prompts mass panic buying of Coca-Cola, Irn Bru and other carbonated drinks. The price of Irn Bru immediately rises by ยฃ1.50, and multipacks are auctioned on eBay.
September 23rd, 2021: Shortages of diesel and petrol are reported across the United Kingdom, prompting a wave of panic buying nation-wide. Ambulances at the hospital my girlfriend works at are forced to suspend service, as local petrol stations have been selling their emergency reserve supplies to desperate bidders.
September 24th, 2021: About an hour before I am due to publish THATCHER'S TECHBASE on the web, my daily post arrives. A firm of lawyers representing Tennent's Lager order me to remove any copyrighted branding and images related to Tennent's Lager from THATCHER'S TECHBASE - in exchange, Tennent's Lager will make charitable donations to the organisations suggested by 3D: Doom Daddy Digital's website. I comply, replacing the T cans with legally-distinct F cans with only 30 minutes to spare.
At 12pm BST, THATCHER'S TECHBASE is released to the public.
------------------------------------
Still with me? Great. Thank you.
So - that's how I got here. As you can see above, THATCHER'S TECHBASE is a piss-take the just kept gaining more and more piss-taking momentum until it reached a critical mass of taken piss. A silly distraction in a hopeless situation that was ultimately powered by the twin engines of my love of a good joke and my hatred for the Conservative and Unionist Party of the United Kingdom, birthed to a Global Britain that is imploding ever-inward.
When I first opened Ultimate Doom Builder on September 27th, 2020, I never intended for my finished product to become something that would have me taking interviews from magazines and newspapers. I never imagined that folk from Brazil and Argentina would message me about how much they loved the design of The Icon of Thatcher. I couldn't possibly conceive of Scotland's most beloved lager company giving their money to social justice causes so that they didn't have to be associated with my work. I just wanted to have a good time making a game and let others have a good time playing a game. Fortunately, I think I still managed to achieve that too.
A week out from release, it does feel like THATCHER'S TECHBASE was yet another victim of the classic video game hype pathology that we've all known about since the first time Nintendo Official Magazine promised us Dinosaur Planet was going to revolutionise the games industry as we knew it forever. When the trailer dropped, people were proclaiming it Game of the Year, Game of the Decade, Game of the Century - and in a way, it kinda hurt to see people pin their Thatcher-bashing hopes on something that only I seemed to know was an amateur production. I knew people were probably joking, but I also knew people were probably going to be let down by THATCHER'S TECHBASE - and there was no realistic means of telling them that without sounding like a moron or a fraud.
After a chaotic launch day filled with technical hitches and streamers angrily messaging me with disapproval over the game's more "extreme" content, I've shied away from reading too much opinion on the wad. Some people get it; some people really don't. While Barry, Richie and my other friends did their best to elevate THATCHER'S TECHBASE into something spectacular, it is still ultimately a quick and dirty little amateur DOOM wad with some Margaret Thatcher paint coating its non-orthogonal walls. Is that sort of thing really worth writing about in a newspaper? Is that sort of thing really worth streaming to your audience of thousands? Is that sort of thing really worth five stars on Backloggd? Or even four stars? Debatable! But it's my work, and I'm proud of it. If I don't give it five stars, how could I expect anyone else to? THATCHER'S TECHBASE is what it is, and aside from a few more minor tweaks and improvements I plan to make in the near future, I guess people will just have to deal with that. (Lemme tell ya - I never imagined someone would DM me to complain that the Thatcher's Grave section wasn't "optimised for co-op play" lmao)
In many ways, I'm relieved that my criticisms of THATCHER'S TECHBASE are other people's criticisms of THATCHER'S TECHBASE, too. I haven't yet been blindsided by any huge oversights in design or presentation, which was a perpetual worry while creating the wad. Aside from occasional DOOM-building tutorials and design guides, I tried to make as much of THATCHER'S TECHBASE as I could by myself - pretentious or not, I wanted it to be my work, my ideas, my thoughts, my feelings, untainted by outsiders as much as possible - something inside me just told me that this had to be my vision of Hell. Arguably a very naive decision, but I was worried that opening the game up to too much of the internet's collective-constructive consciousness early on in the process would derail me from the goals that were formed in my mind from day one. I wanted THATCHER'S TECHBASE to be fun to play and nice to look at, but ultimately the project was a therapeutic outlet for me in an era where everything outside of DOOM's space brought so much pain and anger... Something about Margaret Thatcher and DOOM just felt like such a natural fit in every single way. The overlap in time period, the rage, the pain, the suffering, the helplessness, the despair, the manic, desperate energy of it all - at no point in the process did I doubt that Thatcher deserved to be the subject of her own DOOM wad. It's more that the technical process of creating said wad was a huge hurdle for a first-time wadder to clear.
Obviously, my introverted development process backfired in many ways - as we read in the July 9th, 2021 entry of the THATCHER'S TECHBASE: OFFICIAL TIMELINE, I found out way too late in the development process that I'd made something over-complex and under-designed, a map drawn on a pub napkin that was crushing itself under technical and practical weights that I didn't even know existed for a long time because I was only talking to myself about it. I let my mind run wild while my body was stuck in the same physical space for months on end, and it didn't always lead to great things. Would people enjoy THATCHER'S TECHBASE more if it was shorter, more direct? If the puzzles weren't so fucking esoteric? If I'd leaned the dial of difficulty closer to the original DOOM than The Plutonia Experiment? Probably! The wad's Hurt Me Plenty difficulty was designed to be enjoyed by people who've played their fair share of classic DOOM, but I don't think I ever considered that a) the wad would find a fanbase beyond hardcore gamers or b) that most DOOM source ports automatically drop their cursor on that pseudo-Hard difficulty at load time. I've seen more than one streamer ram their head against the first two sections of THATCHER'S TECHBASE and then throw in the towel when they really didn't need to - I'm Too Young To Die and Not Too Rough difficulty are probably the right difficulty levels for most people - but given the technical limitations of the original DOOM, it's nigh-on impossible to communicate that to people that not all hope is lost; that they can still make it to the juicy CyberThatcher MK1/MK2 content if they just dial back difficulty a little. But by the same token - shouldn't a game about otherthrowing Margaret Thatcher and the systems of decaying power she represents be difficult? Like, really fucking difficult? Did you really think you could waltz into a British Hell and sort things out in an afternoon? C'mon now. The longer THATCHER'S TECHBASE exists in the ether, the less of an issue the challenges of the game should become, hopefully. I've yet to hear about anyone beating it on AUSTERITY difficulty, though, and in a weird, perverse way, that kinda makes me happy. It's not remotely fair!
One thing that has been validating about the game, in a weird way, is that the two "puzzles" I put the most time into - the "Three Thatchers" lobby and the desecration of Union Jack flag - are the two things that have provoked the most remarks, questions and frustrations. While I'm not going to wash my hands of any criticisms those parts of the game have provoked, they really were meant to tease and terrorise you until you arrived at the same conclusions I did while making the wad - that images of Margaret Thatcher and the United Kingdom have to be destroyed with a double-barrelled shotgun if you want to break free and move forward.
When you make a point of intentionally creating something in a vacuum, there can be an overbearing sense of dread regarding everyone else who's standing inside the airlock - will this silly little puzzle make sense to them? Is this fight too hard if you don't know where the health packs are? Is this bit of artwork going too far into a realm that should stay inside me? Will people be annoyed by this? All of this? That was probably the scariest thing about making something like THATCHER'S TECHBASE. Every time I approached an outsider about a sprite, a sound effect or a voice line, I expected nothing but disgust, despair or abject laughter. Maybe even a referral to a psychiatric unit. But not once did I receive anything but the greatest of care from others. Every request was met with kindness - much more kind than it deserved. People seemed more than willing to help me. And that felt fucking great.
I made THATCHER'S TECHBASE more or less by myself in a physical and mental isolation, but THATCHER'S TECHBASE wouldn't exist without everyone else. Everyone who suffered directly as a consequence of Margret Thatcher's decisions as a politician, everyone who stood up and was counted by her, everyone who tried to take count of her in kind; everyone who worked on the original DOOM games, everyone who contributed to DOOM's legacy in some way, everyone who played DOOM at some point in their life; everyone who said that the wad was a good idea, everyone who gave me a stupid idea to throw into the game, everyone who wrote a song for it, everyone who recorded a voice line for it, everyone who drew a picture of a Cyberdemon in a pearl necklace; every single person helped create this stupid little DOOM wad in their own way - and I'm really glad that they did. Because it wouldn't be anything without them.
This game is dedicated to everyone Margaret Thatcher and everyone who hated Margaret Thatcher.
This scene perfectly sums up my feelings about this game:
https://youtu.be/WgLr6qlpec4
You can never go home, but I guess you can shop there. You can never actually go back to FF7, but it'll still give you an avenue in which to spend your money.
The good: There are a lot of great design choices here. Visually, it's a mostly stunning game that takes all the great visual concepts from the original and hews very closely to them. The weapon leveling system is also quite good, even though I never felt like I had enough of a window to make a mistake and need to respec my stuff.
When the game sticks to the plot and area details of the original game, it's a lot of fun. That's about all I can say about what is good here.
Much of this game is a waste of time. Side stories are pale copies of Yakuza side stories, where you go to a place and fight a thing for someone, but all the characters are so devoid of charm and the objects you get as a reward are generally pointless.
The detours are frustratingly thin, like the one time you go topside. I was really looking forward to that conceptually, but it was just a drab suburban town, where you don't even get to go in and meet people.
And then there's the final five hours of boss rushes and plot dump, and it did nothing for me. The music would swell and I'd feel nice, but then I'd have to grapple with the frustrating battle system that was trying to do ATB, but in real time, where I can get juggled and trapped and then killed, but I can't do the same to my opponent, where enemies can just drive further up the road and stay away from me while I slowly wait for my bar to fill up so I can use my one long distance attack.
The whole thing took me 42 hours. That's 5 times longer than the original Midgar section took me back in 1997 and 10 hours longer than the entire original game took me. And for what?
And you know what? In five years I'll spend $15 on the sequel and I'll spend another 42 hours on it and I'll be just as incensed (more so, likely, given how the ending here implied major shifts in the narrative), because I guess Square is the only company that can still do this to me, me a goddamned adult man.
https://youtu.be/WgLr6qlpec4
You can never go home, but I guess you can shop there. You can never actually go back to FF7, but it'll still give you an avenue in which to spend your money.
The good: There are a lot of great design choices here. Visually, it's a mostly stunning game that takes all the great visual concepts from the original and hews very closely to them. The weapon leveling system is also quite good, even though I never felt like I had enough of a window to make a mistake and need to respec my stuff.
When the game sticks to the plot and area details of the original game, it's a lot of fun. That's about all I can say about what is good here.
Much of this game is a waste of time. Side stories are pale copies of Yakuza side stories, where you go to a place and fight a thing for someone, but all the characters are so devoid of charm and the objects you get as a reward are generally pointless.
The detours are frustratingly thin, like the one time you go topside. I was really looking forward to that conceptually, but it was just a drab suburban town, where you don't even get to go in and meet people.
And then there's the final five hours of boss rushes and plot dump, and it did nothing for me. The music would swell and I'd feel nice, but then I'd have to grapple with the frustrating battle system that was trying to do ATB, but in real time, where I can get juggled and trapped and then killed, but I can't do the same to my opponent, where enemies can just drive further up the road and stay away from me while I slowly wait for my bar to fill up so I can use my one long distance attack.
The whole thing took me 42 hours. That's 5 times longer than the original Midgar section took me back in 1997 and 10 hours longer than the entire original game took me. And for what?
And you know what? In five years I'll spend $15 on the sequel and I'll spend another 42 hours on it and I'll be just as incensed (more so, likely, given how the ending here implied major shifts in the narrative), because I guess Square is the only company that can still do this to me, me a goddamned adult man.
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