a bad story, badly told, experienced through the re-animated corpse of a video game that no longer exists. 2.0 doesn't have the dramatic and mythological death of 1.0, but as you run through silent zones all alone talking to absolutely no one, playing with skill trees balanced for an endgame four expansions away, you realise it is equally dead and gone.

mmos are social moments as much as they are video games, and the moment of time that was a realm reborn has long gone. to play it now is to simultaneously understand how a game that was heralded as the greatest redemption story in history is now seen as an albatross around ff14's neck. the half measures put in place to 'solve' this only highlight the problem more than solve it, as now it's quicker to get through, but the rhythm of the zones is absolutely killed as side quests are less than useless, the sense of space is obliterated, and the ratio of time spent watching awful cutscenes as opposed to playing the video game slides drastically in the wrong direction.

that said, the video game? is good! the world is beautiful and delightful to explore, the simplified rotations are still enjoyable and the faster levelling means you aren't taking too long between getting new skills. the lack of cross-class skills is a huge shame however and does feel like a piece of the game's soul is ripped out, the core identity of a job system streamlined away in the (probably justified) cause of endgame social convenience. but there is a joy to exploring eorzea and running dungeons that all the streamlining in the world can't kill.

the same cannot be said for the story, which is a car crash of multiple decisions made due to the reality of this game's nightmare development, that nonetheless conspire to ruin my life. cutscenes are stock animations and textboxes, so everything takes ten times too long and i can't button through fast enough. but the dialog itself has been localised by satan, so you have to slow down to read the most overwrought purple prose without tripping over it. the story is meant to be a tragic tale of struggle after a world ending calamity, but they're reusing all the assets from the last game so bahamut's casualty list is reduced to one old guy and every unnamed town NPC's entire family. it simultaneously wants to be a serious political study of navigating deep rooted conflict between nations and people, but it's also a cartoon for five year olds where the solution to every problem is "believing in hope" and you're the most special boy ever who has solved every problem look the president is here to throw you a party.

it does not work lmao. there are a few bright spots. i enjoyed a few job quests, specifically marauder and bard. rogue had a great little ending where it turned into lupin the third. the villains in gaius' tokusatsu squadron, inexplicably, all get more character work than any of the heroes despite having about two scenes each. this leads to hilarious situations where the most sympathetic characters in the game pour their heart out and make their tragic case while your guy doesn't react and silently murders them in the name of peace, because he is an mmo protagonist.

but aside from that i truly was dreading every cutscene. simply i am here to ride around on cloud's motorbike and do some damn tab targeting. and on that front it still delivers. there's even a few standout dungeons like aurum vale that has actual mechanics in the environment or the final bombastic praetorium assault. genuinely delightful moments, windows into oh right i fucking love final fantasy when the music is going off and there's an airship and also organization xiii is there for some reason.

so it is what it is. three stars. it's a video game. however mad and/or bored i got i was compelled to keep playing, because it is fun to hit a boss with DOTs. it is fun to pull like twenty guys into AOE range and feel immortal. please lower the teleport costs by the time i get to 7.0

Obviously I did not play it but I watched the cutscenes and wanted it marked. They are not very good cutscenes. Such is my dedication to my FF quest.

The funniest thing is that while the early scenes aren’t great, I do enjoy the tone, the path companion, the echo etc. Acceptably pleasant stuff. And you can tell the exact moment they all get sent home to play World of Warcraft by Yoshi-P because suddenly out of nowhere it’s all ancient civilisation super weapons, completely generic bad guy who wants to kill everyone for no reason, and every NPC is sucking you off for being the coolest greatest guy to ever live. Immediately like ah, i see you guys did some opposition research lmao.

motomu toriyama should have been allowed to put yoshi-p in the device when he said that ff16 had the first gay couple in final fantasy history

the thing is i hate the story but not for the reason that anyone else does so i am simply stuck between a rock and a hard place. the union x scene is cool tho bro

The level design is a big step back, flowmotion doesn't work well, the spirit management is an awful progression system, nothing happens for the first 18 hours. Stephen A Smith voice BUT!

the last three or so? Dude they slam. Had a great time. The take that this is the game where KH goes off the rails and up its own ass is really weird considering I think the story here is smart and fairly restrained? Obviously there's wild shit in certain scenes but it's mostly a lot of piece moving and heavy lifting in order to set up III as something with comprehensible and understandable stakes?

Anyway. Can't help but keep enjoying Kingdom Hearts. Gonna play III later this month and end this journey at last.

HEY HEY YOU YOU I DONT LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
NO WAY NO WAY I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE
HEY HEY YOU YOU I COULD BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
DANANA DANANA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA