lemonous
441 reviews liked by lemonous
Yakuza 3 Remastered
2018
yakuza 3 is kind of sad to me, a good game held back by glaring issues. mine is still one of the strongest foils to kiryu and still has the coolest boss intro and battle theme in the series and most scenes with him are incredible, and i really like the story in terms of kiryu and the orphanage and all of that, but the combat is pretty weak and the actual conspiracy that drives the plot is by far the weakest in the series and it's hard to reconcile with that when the behind the scenes scheming and what not that drives the plot is too uninteresting to do that very well. equally integral to and great for kiryu's story and progression as it is uninteresting and not really worth revisiting in my opinion
Yakuza 3 Remastered
2018
Love the Okinawa vibes. Kiryu running a beachfront orphanage is soul cleansing and good - it's the Yakuza storyline that mostly uninteresting and hard to follow
You spend a lot of time in this Okinawa game just running around Kamurocho again which, sure, new engine, PS3 Shiny, I get it. It is impressively detailed for the time. But yikes coming from Yakuza 0 - Kiwami 1&2 I just couldn't care about the city anymore.
You spend a lot of time in this Okinawa game just running around Kamurocho again which, sure, new engine, PS3 Shiny, I get it. It is impressively detailed for the time. But yikes coming from Yakuza 0 - Kiwami 1&2 I just couldn't care about the city anymore.
why do they call it secret stones when theyre right there
The day is April 1st, 2024. April Fools' Day! What are some silly pranks I can play on people on such a momentous occasion as this?
I've got a good one! I'll finally play the sequel to that game I hate, and see if it's actually any good.
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I've made it clear enough how much I hate Breath of the Wild, how much it quite literally pains me to play it. Obviously, I wouldn't be looking forward to Tears of the Kingdom either. Especially with just how much they tried to hype it up, like good lord this shit ended at least four Nintendo Directs. Despite all that, I decided to make a fool of myself today and give it a try, thanks to my brother being a BOTW fan in my stead, and purchasing this game back when it released. Be surprised when you hear this: I still don't like it.
I went into TOTK with no intentions of ever finishing it, and certainly no intentions of putting too much time into it. I gave it two hours, finished two shrines, and fucked around with whatever new mechanics they gave me. Shockingly though, I can at the very least admit that I didn't hate the new ideas. I enjoyed fusing items together a decent amount. It's definitely more Zelda than I felt with its prequel.
Unfortunately, there's still the entire rest of the game. The large, open world that has me running in circles for lord knows how long because I can't figure out a way to reach that spot I pinpointed on my map. The open world that I will be begrudgingly slogging through because my stamina doesn't allow me to speed up for any longer than three seconds. The very same open world that ends up giving me a headache if I spend too long in it. I didn't like it then, and I still don't like it now, fun new gimmicks or otherwise.
But hey, that's more than I could say for Breath of the Wild. Given that I had even the slightest amount of fun ever, I can still call it better than the first. It even took a little longer to give me a headache this time around. Maybe next time we can get an actual Zelda game.
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why did i do this?
I've got a good one! I'll finally play the sequel to that game I hate, and see if it's actually any good.
---
I've made it clear enough how much I hate Breath of the Wild, how much it quite literally pains me to play it. Obviously, I wouldn't be looking forward to Tears of the Kingdom either. Especially with just how much they tried to hype it up, like good lord this shit ended at least four Nintendo Directs. Despite all that, I decided to make a fool of myself today and give it a try, thanks to my brother being a BOTW fan in my stead, and purchasing this game back when it released. Be surprised when you hear this: I still don't like it.
I went into TOTK with no intentions of ever finishing it, and certainly no intentions of putting too much time into it. I gave it two hours, finished two shrines, and fucked around with whatever new mechanics they gave me. Shockingly though, I can at the very least admit that I didn't hate the new ideas. I enjoyed fusing items together a decent amount. It's definitely more Zelda than I felt with its prequel.
Unfortunately, there's still the entire rest of the game. The large, open world that has me running in circles for lord knows how long because I can't figure out a way to reach that spot I pinpointed on my map. The open world that I will be begrudgingly slogging through because my stamina doesn't allow me to speed up for any longer than three seconds. The very same open world that ends up giving me a headache if I spend too long in it. I didn't like it then, and I still don't like it now, fun new gimmicks or otherwise.
But hey, that's more than I could say for Breath of the Wild. Given that I had even the slightest amount of fun ever, I can still call it better than the first. It even took a little longer to give me a headache this time around. Maybe next time we can get an actual Zelda game.
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why did i do this?
more like Queen Peach i tell you hwat
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As stated in my last review on Super Princess Peach, I was very excited for Showtime. Like, way more excited than I ever thought I would be. Just off of the first couple trailers, I was enamored by the charm and promise that was being presented, what would essentially be a full game's worth of watching Peach undergo magical girl transformations and exploring different set pieces with her new abilities. I was in it for the style, and nothing else. As time went on (and as Nintendo kept spoiling all of the fucking costumes on their Twitter...), in an unusual turn of events, my excitement only grew. The demo drops, I play it, and I'm locked in, pre-order and all. I got what I came for, and I enjoyed every second of it.
almost every second of it.
Obviously, the costumes are all fantastic. It is such a breath of fresh air seeing such a major character for the series in all these different outfits, especially since Peach doesn't usually get to do much in the first place. Of course she has all of her spin-off designs, but Showtime does so much more with everything, experimenting with all sorts of aesthetics and colors, not one of them failing to impress. That really was all I was expecting for this game, so to move on to the actual gameplay...
It's fine enough? Peach doesn't get much of a moveset, the game only ever utilizes a total of three buttons, and I think they did fairly well with such limited controls. Not every gimmick is a winner (lord knows I never want to play another patissiere level again), but I thoroughly enjoyed what they came up with, the big stars being the detective, mermaid, and ice skater plays. (sorry, ice world bias.)
I have to admit, though, and it never really makes itself known upon first playthrough, but holy hell is this game slow. Again, it's never a problem as long as you can finish up everything you need to in one go, collecting all the Sparkle Stones and Ribbons, but, say you miss one of those collectibles, either by simply not exploring enough or failing a certain task; in order to go back and try for it again, you have to do everything from start to finish a second time. Your newly made progress won't be saved after exiting the stage like in the previous Peach game, so instead you'll have to repeat the whole stage, and by then, you'll notice that most of your time in each level will be spent completely motionless as some dialogue fades in and out of view. You aren't given the option to skip any of it, either. Text is placed on screen by itself, accompanied by animations that you have to wait for the end of before you are allowed to start moving again. As I said, not a big deal on the first playthrough, but it gets excruciating having to see it any more times than once.god forbid you spend 30 damn minutes on the second patissiere level like i did
I see where everyone else is coming from. Yes, Princess Peach: Showtime! can feel incredibly easy, handhold-y, linear, whatever else you might have heard. It is not complex in the slightest, but that's not what I was looking forward to. I was looking forward to the cute costumes and the fun worlds to look at, with the added bonus of some new personality for the princess herself. With such little expectations, of course I was going to have at least a little fun. Not the "game of the year" I was maybe (somewhat ironically) psyching myself up for, but I'd say it's considerably better than everyone else is giving it credit for. Again, though, that could just be my low standards, made even lower after recently finishing a much worse Peach oriented game.
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peach's next smash moveset could be killer if you think about it now holy shit
---
As stated in my last review on Super Princess Peach, I was very excited for Showtime. Like, way more excited than I ever thought I would be. Just off of the first couple trailers, I was enamored by the charm and promise that was being presented, what would essentially be a full game's worth of watching Peach undergo magical girl transformations and exploring different set pieces with her new abilities. I was in it for the style, and nothing else. As time went on (and as Nintendo kept spoiling all of the fucking costumes on their Twitter...), in an unusual turn of events, my excitement only grew. The demo drops, I play it, and I'm locked in, pre-order and all. I got what I came for, and I enjoyed every second of it.
almost every second of it.
Obviously, the costumes are all fantastic. It is such a breath of fresh air seeing such a major character for the series in all these different outfits, especially since Peach doesn't usually get to do much in the first place. Of course she has all of her spin-off designs, but Showtime does so much more with everything, experimenting with all sorts of aesthetics and colors, not one of them failing to impress. That really was all I was expecting for this game, so to move on to the actual gameplay...
It's fine enough? Peach doesn't get much of a moveset, the game only ever utilizes a total of three buttons, and I think they did fairly well with such limited controls. Not every gimmick is a winner (lord knows I never want to play another patissiere level again), but I thoroughly enjoyed what they came up with, the big stars being the detective, mermaid, and ice skater plays. (sorry, ice world bias.)
I have to admit, though, and it never really makes itself known upon first playthrough, but holy hell is this game slow. Again, it's never a problem as long as you can finish up everything you need to in one go, collecting all the Sparkle Stones and Ribbons, but, say you miss one of those collectibles, either by simply not exploring enough or failing a certain task; in order to go back and try for it again, you have to do everything from start to finish a second time. Your newly made progress won't be saved after exiting the stage like in the previous Peach game, so instead you'll have to repeat the whole stage, and by then, you'll notice that most of your time in each level will be spent completely motionless as some dialogue fades in and out of view. You aren't given the option to skip any of it, either. Text is placed on screen by itself, accompanied by animations that you have to wait for the end of before you are allowed to start moving again. As I said, not a big deal on the first playthrough, but it gets excruciating having to see it any more times than once.
I see where everyone else is coming from. Yes, Princess Peach: Showtime! can feel incredibly easy, handhold-y, linear, whatever else you might have heard. It is not complex in the slightest, but that's not what I was looking forward to. I was looking forward to the cute costumes and the fun worlds to look at, with the added bonus of some new personality for the princess herself. With such little expectations, of course I was going to have at least a little fun. Not the "game of the year" I was maybe (somewhat ironically) psyching myself up for, but I'd say it's considerably better than everyone else is giving it credit for. Again, though, that could just be my low standards, made even lower after recently finishing a much worse Peach oriented game.
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peach's next smash moveset could be killer if you think about it now holy shit
Super Princess Peach
2005
March 22nd, 2024, marks the release day of Princess Peach Showtime, a game that I have been looking forward to since its reveal, and even more so after playing the demo recently and being absolutely enamored by its sense of creativity and whimsy. I figured, hey, if I'm looking forward to this Peach game so much, I should give the first one a try as well! I sincerely doubt they'll be at all related to each other, but its fun to get the full Princess Peach experience regardless. Except this one wasn't very fun, actually.
Super Princess Peach is, 90% of the time, a mindless walk through a quick level grabbing whatever collectibles you need or may come across. The other 10% is a frustrating mess of a labyrinth where you will be wandering the area multiple times over in hopes of finding the weird little happenstance you need to pull of to find a Toad, or having a good old trial & error fest in a room that is exclusively pipes that only exist to drag you back to the beginning of the room. One of them takes you to the end of the level, have fun guessing.
The game doesn't do much to make these levels feel special, either. Peach's entire gimmick is her four emotions (stellar concept really), or three, given that one of them does nothing but heal Peach, in a game where dying is not only extremely difficult, but goes practically unpunished on the off chance it does happen.
The three emotions that actually are utilized are never for any more than a couple purposes. Being happy makes her spin windmills or blow away large clouds, maybe float at a snail's pace if you don't feel like platforming; being sad makes her run faster and grow plants; being angry makes her burn bridges and light torches, up until the end of the game where they just do that for you anyway. Very rarely will a new opportunity arise for one of Peach's abilities, but chances are you won't be seeing it again after a couple more levels.
Making it to the end of each world will reward you with a boss fight that follows a quick and easy touch screen minigame. Every boss in the game has one weakness that you will be told about just before fighting them, and they will hardly change anything up the whole time. Pick their favorite feeling and hit them five times with it, win game. Hell, you don't actually need to use any of the emotions for the final boss of the game except for one very brief instance of Rage just before the final hit.
The story is nothing I'm crazy for, either. I didn't care for Perry, and I guess Nintendo didn't either. Bowser and the gang find a Vibe Scepter (good one) that makes everyone very emotional, giving them similar abilities to Peach herself. This doesn't matter, SPP is more focused on giving you quick glimpses into the talking parasol's past at the end of each world, something something evil magic something something old man. It's your job to help reunite them. Or don't. You won't.
I was content on giving this game maybe a low 6/10 if it weren't for that final world. Genuinely appalling decisions made there.
Oh well, I don't have to play it anymore. Still looking forward to my Game of the Year tomorrow. Stay tuned for that one.
Super Princess Peach is, 90% of the time, a mindless walk through a quick level grabbing whatever collectibles you need or may come across. The other 10% is a frustrating mess of a labyrinth where you will be wandering the area multiple times over in hopes of finding the weird little happenstance you need to pull of to find a Toad, or having a good old trial & error fest in a room that is exclusively pipes that only exist to drag you back to the beginning of the room. One of them takes you to the end of the level, have fun guessing.
The game doesn't do much to make these levels feel special, either. Peach's entire gimmick is her four emotions (stellar concept really), or three, given that one of them does nothing but heal Peach, in a game where dying is not only extremely difficult, but goes practically unpunished on the off chance it does happen.
The three emotions that actually are utilized are never for any more than a couple purposes. Being happy makes her spin windmills or blow away large clouds, maybe float at a snail's pace if you don't feel like platforming; being sad makes her run faster and grow plants; being angry makes her burn bridges and light torches, up until the end of the game where they just do that for you anyway. Very rarely will a new opportunity arise for one of Peach's abilities, but chances are you won't be seeing it again after a couple more levels.
Making it to the end of each world will reward you with a boss fight that follows a quick and easy touch screen minigame. Every boss in the game has one weakness that you will be told about just before fighting them, and they will hardly change anything up the whole time. Pick their favorite feeling and hit them five times with it, win game. Hell, you don't actually need to use any of the emotions for the final boss of the game except for one very brief instance of Rage just before the final hit.
The story is nothing I'm crazy for, either. I didn't care for Perry, and I guess Nintendo didn't either. Bowser and the gang find a Vibe Scepter (good one) that makes everyone very emotional, giving them similar abilities to Peach herself. This doesn't matter, SPP is more focused on giving you quick glimpses into the talking parasol's past at the end of each world, something something evil magic something something old man. It's your job to help reunite them. Or don't. You won't.
I was content on giving this game maybe a low 6/10 if it weren't for that final world. Genuinely appalling decisions made there.
Oh well, I don't have to play it anymore. Still looking forward to my Game of the Year tomorrow. Stay tuned for that one.
Alan Wake II
2023
If you went back to 2010 and told me that I'd consider the sequel to Alan Wake one of the best gaming experiences of an era, I'd tell you you're nuts.
Completed 3 TIMES because my brother erased the save twice
OneShot
2016
The fact that I managed to play this game by avoiding any spoilers for 7 years is amazing, this is a must play for indie-gamers that got buried by the release of the indie game that must not be spoken of.
Lethal Company
2023
Bro this shit was so fun I can't wait to play with my friends again, as long as we stop hitting each other with shovels and stop signs.
