Of course you have blue hair and pronouns.

Never played it but the porn is pretty good.

i want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and i'm not kidding

Me when a game is full of references:
just NAMING something ISN'T a JOKE !!!!! PICK up a PEN and start WRITING actual CONTENT !!!!! đŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€Ź

me when every single reference is about something i really like:
oh my god... 😊😊😊 they like that... 😊😊😊 i also like that 😊😊😊.... can't wait to see an interview later talking about some minor details I may have missed 😊😊😊... videogames are art this is so cool... 😊😊😊

Master.
I shit my pants.
I shit my pants really bad.
Stinky.
In the name of Harman...

So for my 1000th review, I chose what I consider to be the most important brazilian game of all time. The mere existence of Unsighted is a miracle in itself, being made by 2 latinas trans women with a short budget is nothing short of impressive, considering it’s quality not only in the gameplay but also in the sprite artwork, music, and so on. How did possibly the greatest achievement in brazilian game developing history become so unknown nationally? To properly answer this question, we first have to analyze the gaming scene in Brazil.

Despite being the 3rd largest country in number of active "gamers", Brazil has a surprisingly small game development scene due to a lot of harsh factors. Hardware and Software prices tend to be too high, the government gives very little incentive in developing technological careers, and both of these have only gotten worse in the last few years by the dystopian combination that is Bolsonaro, crypto bros and Covid-19 working together. Also worth mentioning, is that a lot of programmers and artists who are into game design, straight up just leave the country whenever possible, seeking better life conditions.

Currently the most noticeable games in the minds of the average brazilian gamer, are not the likes of Dandara, Chroma Squad, Momodora or Sludge Life, who even if they don’t make your cup of tea, had a lot of effort and love put into it. The most usual names you’ll hear are the cheap ones that were made to be bad, hoping that you either play them or buy them for your friends as a joke. Kandidatos, Ultra Miner Adventures, Zueirama, and the ever infamous Bad Rats, are probably the ones that get the most recognition.

The ironic praise and fetishization of trashy national media has always existed throughout the entire world, however, I think that the extent in which it happens in Brazil is absurd, especially considering it started off as a counter movement in direct response to the enforced nationalism by government endorsed media during the dictatorship years and the “Brazil: Love it or Leave it” mentality. For decades, our most watched movie genre were softcore porn movies called “pornochanchadas”, that benefited the state by suppressing other types of movies that didn't support the regime, in perhaps the weirdest panis et circenses case I can think of.

The good neighbor policy, enforced by the american government at the time, only directly affected Rio and SĂŁo Paulo as they were portrayed as the definitive tropical paradise for other first world nations to exploit. Culturally wise, the majority of the country was abandoned, which meant that the imposed nationalism had to come from within every single state, creating a sense of animosity from others, as they were perceived more as enemies than neighbors. Xenophobia became ingrained in our culture, which meant that the idea of being born in a specific state became more important than being born in Brazil itself. Mocking the idea of being brazilian while hyper valorizing your own cities had unfortunate lasting effects even after the dictatorship was dissolved.

Although the respect for other states has gotten better in the last 10 years, the disdain for the government has only ever increased as we’re facing our worst political decade yet, ranging from multiple extensive corruption scandals to a forced government takeover publicized as a democratic impeachment. However, what I think is the series of events that perfectly encapsulates our political scene, happened when our current president, Jair Bolsonaro, denied covid for 2 months after it was declared a worldwide pandemic, only to accept it’s mere existence months later by contracting it himself, only to deny it again weeks later as he was cured, claiming that his “past as an athlete wouldn’t let him die by a simple fever”.

More than 600.000 lives were lost due to covid, a number elevated by Bolsonaro’s actions and denialism. 3 ministers of health were fired during the height of the pandemic, because any measurement that went against his agenda that Covid was nothing special, resulted in them being dismissed. While most nations were trying to buy and distribute vaccines, he denied 11 deals until april 2021, with common names such as Pfizer, Covax, and even the vaccine being developed in the national territory by the Butantan institute, deemed as untrustworthy. He tried to push a chloroquine agenda, claiming it to be the true cure to covid, which to no one's surprise proved to be ineffective even before he made his announcements. Couple of months and many deaths later, Bolsonaro would end up, surprisingly, accepting a vaccine deal, which turned out later that he only actually accepted as there was embezzlement involved.

Amongst our presidential wrongdoings, the indie gaming scene flourished around the world, and although it didn’t thrive as much in Brazil, it had an impact nonetheless. Developing codes, creating digital art, publicizing media, have only gotten easier as time goes on, despite creating the unfortunate consequence that it’s more scattered around the net as ever, making so that the mere chance of a spotlight is to be considered a miracle for the average indie dev. In the last 2 years, the gaming scene was severely hit by Covid-19, however, that didn’t affect small studios a lot, especially when the amount of people working on them is as small as 2 in Unsighted’s case.

Still here after the overly simplified history lesson? Good, let’s actually talk about the game now.

The easy way to explain Unsighted to someone is that it’s a mix of Hyper Light Drifter fast paced combat alongside the limitations of a punishing stamina bar, with a metroid map progression. I’m NOT calling this game a metroidvania because it has nothing to do with the usual 2D combat, however if you think metroidvanias are more of a “feel” with progression based items with pseudo open world games, I won’t stop you. The constant back and forth of experimenting with your new upgrades is one of gaming’s greatest sensations when done right, now imagine doing that in a punishing time limit. Sounds stressful when you can’t progress in your own way? Good, that’s the main idea behind Unsighted.

After finishing the tutorial, you’ll notice that everytime you go to a new room, a small text appears in the middle of the screen telling you how much time you have left until you become an unsighted yourself, a walking android with no thought beyond primal instincts hard coded in their metallic soul. The game tries to calm you down by explaining that you can give yourself and your friends more time, with an item called Meteor Dust, which you can find by exploring, however you’ll quickly realize that giving 1 day’s worth of time is not very impactful when a day ingame happens in less than 40 minutes. You may also share them to increase your “friendship meter” to get unique rewards, which is the opposite of what anyone would do in that situation: Embracing a decaying materialism in a world that needs only solidarity.

By accepting the loot social aspect more than the emotional one, you can in theory, save more people than before, since you’ll be increasing your combat capabilities which results in you resolving the game’s conflict faster, which means you’ll be bringing salvation to even more individuals. This could also be my half assed coping mechanism that I ended up developing after letting 2 characters that were really special to the main character die, both meeting their fate because although I tried really, I ended up failing, but chose to move once again. As we all have to do sometimes.

Gear Village is one of the most comfortable hubs I have seen in gaming, facing fierce competition against Majula from Dark Souls 2 and Rosalina’s ship from Mario Galaxy. Not only it has a plethora of charming characters wandering around, but also it looks like a place I could live in, if I travel enough to the south. The androids are all visually distinct and offer different essential functions from one another, like upgrading your items, selling useful stuff, or giving you hints on where to go next.

Exploration is not obtuse in the slightest, since there’s a clear indicator in what you can and can’t do, and early on you don’t even have to get key items in a set order, so it becomes a question in how you want to approach the game. The best weapon, until the very last dungeon, and some gadgets that allow you to completely bypass some puzzles to get powerful items early on, can be obtained after the very 1st dungeon if you’ve been exploring. It’s only after a long while, that you’ll have to progress in the way the game wants you to, which is honestly pretty well executed, because it ends up coinciding, for the average player at least, to a certain “event” in the cathedral which I’ll explain later.

Fighting also feels amazing, mobility is key in this game and it feels wonderful running around. By allowing the players to never take damage by missing platforming sections, even if you have to “respawn” again, it encourages a riskier and more fun approach to both combat and puzzles. Parrying is both smooth and responsive, and also if you land it gracefully with precise timing, it restores your stamina bar fully, making it so that if you take the effort to master it, you’ll be rewarded by never having to back down from a fight. There’s also a colossal weapon arsenal to choose from, including swords, pistols, axes, shotguns, dual wielding weapons, flamethrowers, and even grappling hooks.

Well, I’m gonna get into spoilers now, so if that’s what you wanted to see from this review, have a good one, and make sure to give this game a shot, it’s worth it.

Eventually, while exploring, you’ll receive some notifications about some npc’s who have less than 24 hours remaining. The feeble, the fragile and the old ones fall victim first, however soon you’ll start to notice that the character that teaches you how to parry better and is known as the village’s chief, is also one of the first ones. And that’s when it clicked with me, that this curse comes for everyone, independent of who you are, what you’ve done, and even if you have a “past as an athlete”. While not directly being a covid metaphor, the way Unsighted handles the story, themes, and the mechanics around time being a currency, are inherently something that could only happen in our current political and social scene.

One important thing I purposefully didn’t mention until now, is that during the entire game you’ll be accompanied by a small pixie called Iris, who doesn’t exactly have much time in her hands. She greatly helps you, not only navigate and solve puzzles, but also by being your only source of actually “leveling up”. In this game, the only progression you’ll get, besides equipping discardable gears with single uses and buying expensive items to improve your healing at the cost of time, is increasing your chip slots, which might give you more health, defense, damage, stamina, etc. The fact that the only fixed progression you’ll get is tied to a npc low in time is astonishing, because it forces you to sacrifice precious time with her. Due to the nature of video games we usually don’t end up thinking much about our sidekicks, but Unsighted makes sure you know how much she’s sacrificing for you and asks you to at least keep it mutual. If you intentionally or not, let her go unsighted, your journey is not only going to be a lot lonelier, but also immensely harder, because you took her feelings, dreams, and maybe even existence, for granted.

A certain event happens when your character has less than 100 hours: she is contacted by an entity in the cathedral. There, you’ll meet a powerful person who talks like an old friend of yours that wants to “help you”, by giving you an accursed power: You can take hours away from your friends and give them to yourself. Although this might sound like a relief for some, the idea of killing your friends for your own benefit is nothing but sickening, and it doesn’t help that every single one of them was written in the story to be a good willed android, trying to survive while helping others. This is the only place in the game in which Iris won’t accompany you, as she feels a malevolent presence nearby, which means that you’re the judge, jury and executioner of yourself while in there.

You can by all means challenge her to an absurdly hard secret boss fight that will give you 10 dusts, however it not only takes a lot of effort, but also gives a reward that doesn’t benefit you as much. By working with the current dystopian system, you can guarantee yourself a safe future in this cruel world, as it’s easy to live at the cost of others, specially when your job is to be selective to who has the rights to live, however, even challenging them, won’t help as much unfortunately, as the entire fundamental aspect of being an unsighted won’t change by dethroning a single individual within a intrinsically corrupt order. There is a secret ending that requires you to beat the self proclaimed angel, however I won’t get into details because I’d have to explain a lot more elements in the story, but to summarize: You can’t vote your way into revolution, fight for what you believe in.

So now to properly answer the question: Why is Unsighted so special, even when not considering the gameplay? In an interview for Screenrant in October 2021, the devs Tiani Pixel and Fernanda Dias answered the following question “...Could you talk about what gaming was like when you were younger, and compare it to what's happening now?...” made by Leo Faierman.

“One big thing here in Brazil, and it kind of ties in with some of the discussion that has been going around lately, is with piracy. Because, for example, in the city that I lived throughout my childhood, you could never find an original game to buy. Like, it wasn't even an option. I'll be honest with you: I never saw an original PS2 game in my life, and it's common for all Brazilians. Like, I even doubt that those exist, because there was never an original game being sold here in Brazil. However, this came with a lot of positives. English is not our native language, so we received pirated games from all over the world, so there's a lot of Japanese games that are famous here that a lot of people in the US don't know, and kind of ended up being inspirations here for game designers in Brazil.”

Transforming and adapting cultures from around the world is how Brazil became Brazil. Independent if it were the natives, or the portuguese in the 15th century, or the spanish a couple years later, or the dutchman in the 16th century, or the germans and the italians in the following years, or the japanese in the 19th century, or the many other that I forgot to mention: We are in the end, a mixture of cultures from around the world, trying our best. The cultural difference between some states in Brazil is higher than the ones from entire european countries, and yet we’re all stuck in the same tropical paradise. In the end Brazil was molded by those who were molded by Brazil, therefore making something made in Brazil only possible if it was made in Brazil.

We had a lot of games in the past that captured the brazilian essence, like 171 or Tcheco in the Castle of Lucio, however those were projects made in mind to be enjoyed by mostly brazilians. We’ve also had games that tried their best to abandoned that convention, accepting their own existence as a product meant to be mostly enjoyed for those that aren’t from Brazil, but seen as the same foreign product for those that are, like Heavy Bullets or Spark. Unsighted is the first project that not only doesn’t follow that convention, but also actively tries to display such ethos for those that weren’t born here or the ones that do but fail to recognize it.

Unsighted is a game made by 2 trans women fighting not only to survive in one of the most transphobic countries there are, but also to make a project that will never get mainstream attention. Unsighted tells the story of those that struggle, for those that don’t care. Unsighted is the essence of a story forever doomed to be praised yet not seen by many. Unsighted to me, is the most important brazilian game of all time.

The first postmodern video game, and a marvel of creative achievement. Challenging, yet congenial gameplay and meticulous level designs, which compliment a gritty war story that isn't afraid to get totally meta. Hideo Kojima's magnum opus.

" Why do these guns have beautiful dick sucking lips " - Detchibe

Imagine you're at a buffet and then you eat what you want and you have a really great time and then someone walks in saying that they're gonna eat every single thing thats available there and then they have a terrible time at it because obviously not everything was meant for them on the buffet and then they say that the entire restaurant and their buffet system was poorly designed because of it and then they leave disappointed, wyd?

With exception of maybe 2 or 3 bosses I think I could stick a whole wiimote in my ass.

Trust me bro I watched 500 videos about it on Youtube, I can give it a score on Backloggd.com.

Can't wait for Scarlet/Violet to be released and see my youtube feed being flooded with " Why Sun/Moon are actually masterpieces: An objective retrospective " and " Was Sword/Shield THAT bad? (6 hour critical analysis) "

Final Fantasy X is The Room of video games.

Hands down the funniest, most honest and charming video game I have ever played, perpetuating its inseparable awkwardness in every corner, proudly displaying its clashing hits and misses everywhere while being always entertaining along the way. From some Quandale Dingle character designs, to the unfinished yet peculiar Blitzball, to the irredeemably frustrating dungeons, to the messy yet sometimes Lynchian cutscenes at every corner, it more than compensates the ride by surprisingly always finding a way to make me care about what’s happening. The amount of times in which I ended up laughing at a supposedly serious moment while still feeling invested in knowing what outcome it will take, is too much to even consider counting.

Absolutely no other title would make me waste almost 2 hours restarting a completely bullshit poorly explained optional RNG minigame just to see Wakka, a character I barely knew anything about at that point, holding a shitty Playmobil looking trophy and giving a short fiddly speech for 50 seconds. All because the way in which he told me, with the world’s straightest face, that he never actually won a single match in 10 fucking years, was simply hysterical.

When someone compared it to Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece, it became one of those weird sentences that sounds right, so you agree first, leaving you to ponder whether or not it actually makes sense a couple of minutes later. Most of the time, Final Fantasy X portrays expressions and sentiments in a way that nearly always feels off, at one point even accidentally recreating the iconic shop scene with O’aka in a scene that was supposed to be nothing but mundane. Not only that, but also odd stylistic choices (say thank you Nomura Based God), subliminal pre-rendered interiors of houses and shops, bizarre hyper fascination with the fictional ‘soccered-up’ water polo and some mixes of postmodern economical practices in a world that by all means shouldn’t need them. To properly talk about the loveable sincerity of it all, let’s talk about what FFX’s really famous for.

Tidus laugh scene, is an absurdly famous bit in the gaming community, because of how bonkers the voice acting is, in that one specific moment. Late 00’s gamer culture fabricated the notion that Final Fantasy X was filled with uncanny valley moments that failed to understand how human beings communicate and feel, which was the standard for the amateurish voice acting present in the previous early 3D generation, in particular the english translated ones from japanese titles. The loveable yet amateurish delivery from Resident Evil and the outlandishly cartoonish cutscenes from Sonic Adventures, live rent free in our nostalgia filled hearts, just like this one continuous string of Haha’s. What fails to be stated is that unlike the previously mentioned ones, this iconic moment is legitimately a great scene despite it all.

If you watched the segment fully without playing FFX(spoilers ahead btw), everything feels weird, even if the laugh was to be a normal one. The scene kicks off with Yuna trying to impress THE BOUNCER the protagonist by whistling for whatever reason, and once she realizes he’s sad, she replies with “Wanna scream?”. Without the proper knowledge that he tried to teach her how to whistle if she got in danger (to which she failed previously), and that he screamed out of frustration after his current time travel situation finally kicked in, their relationship even before the meme properly starts feels outlandish and perhaps even childishly written. After that, Yuna does a small info dump and tells him to laugh his problems off, to which he glamorously does, only for her to reply with “You probably shouldn’t laugh anymore.” and immediately joining in with the ridiculousness of it all. But why?

Having full context of her speech and the mortal fate of those who follow the pilgrimage, the way in which she states “I want my journey to be filled with laughter” and even the reason to which she tried to mimic his horrible pattern only to repeat the same words about protecting each other by whistling, just hits different. The rest of the party is probably aware of the situation, but all they can do is stare, fully knowing that despite being marked for certain death, Yuna still tries to demonstrate companionship for someone she just met. Whether she knew that Tidus had no idea of what’s in store for her is irrelevant, as they both seem to be having a great time in the journey together, and that’s what matters in the end, right? That being said, the unnecessary camera movement, lack of context for some sentences, and the alien sounds being emitted as laughs, really add up, perhaps connecting your neurons to remind you of a certain scene that also fails in the same ways.

Some people like to refer to artistic projects as being soul or souless, usually talking about the intent of the ones behind it trying to express themselves in their own artistic ways more than to just generate profit. When I referred to FFX earlier as being the most honest, I meant that a lot of elements that the game gets it wrong come from the fact that choices were made to prioritize the title having a unique identity throughout the years, to which they completely nailed it. Early titles for a console have to be different to cause an impact for the newer generation to come, both from the console and from their developers, after all, if it’s just more of the same, why even bother? This title was a lot of people’s first Jrpg back in the day, and the overall reception being overwhelmingly positive for its impressive attention to care set the standard for what the ones born into the 6th generation of games would enjoy in the genre for the foreseeable future.

When you combine every area that wasn’t as fully realized, it’s impossible to not look back with a smile, for just like an actual ride, the only important part is being an unforgettable experience. Glancing back at the laugh scene once again, aren’t you glad it is exactly how it is? No boring back and forth camera wise, no run of the mill voice acting, no usual clarity in dialogue, just two friends that just met having an awkward talk. Exactly how it is, exactly how it should be.

Intention over execution is sometimes all that a piece of art needs. It’s the reason movies like Southland Tales or albums like Metal Machine Music, despite receiving mixed and polarizing ratings by critics and fans alike, are still discussed to this day: They have a strong and memorable identity in their remarks. Most people would rather endure through a fun mess over something whose production is decent, but not even close when regarding uniqueness. Movies like House are such a delightful unexpected journey to see even with the dated effects because of its untamed artistically wild originality, while others like Morbius will need (at least) a pirated webcam movie rip, 8 friends or enemies on vc, and a hellspawn creature that keeps making jokes about reverse morbing for the entire fucking movie like oh my god it’s been 1 hour stop already you’re accidentaly spoiling the movie c’mon.

Final Fantasy X isn’t the best at anything it does when compared to others from the series (it’s not even my favorite final fantasy to discuss), but when you combine everything that it displays, it’s hard not to just immerse yourself fully in this world, embracing the well crafted pre dystopian religious world to its limits. I wish Final Fantasy X had a way to go back to previous areas, had a better realized blitzball system, had puzzles that were less annoying, had non cheesy/grindy ways to beat the final boss, a better Al Bhed dictionary system
 and the list could go on forever. But you know what I don’t wish was changed? The Second Life characters designs, the tight unilateral areas, the cutscenes that always look wet for some reason, the superfluous affection system, the wiggly dialogue angles
 and the list could also go on forever.

Appreciating the title nowadays may be harder as our goblin gamer brain has less and less attention span, but it’s an effort totally worth trying. The game plays out like a 1 hour and 30 min animation that cuts 80% of the adventure in a 3 minutes bonding scenes montage, but here we are treated to it in its full narrative, with plenty of foreshadows along the way. I’m glad to have devoted myself to participating in Yuna's pilgrimage, while also closing the game glad that it was all over for them in that way. The magic of X, is managing a yin and yang of competence while making sure you never feel bored, fully embracing the early 2000’s tropical bling that the period had to offer.

Thank you Playstation gamers for beta testing Bloodborne for us.

I'm going to pretend I beat this game because I'm fucking scared of those fishes.