I knew it... I had the suspicion watching a review... and within ten minutes of playing... I realized... this is a god-forsaken canned gacha game that got turned into a standalone console release! Streamlined and free of microtransaction elements, but it has a repetitive gameplay loop with lots of flashy elements, but ultimately no game design ideas. The levels consist of 2-3 "floors", the first two being easy, and the last having enemies with ridiculous amounts of HP that can't be killed without the proper gear, in the same way every gacha game does things. Even if you "skill" your way out of not having the strong enough gear, there's a 5 minute timer. You just need to keep grinding levels until your gear gets strong enough. Everything drops like 10,000,000 materials and items. You have a super-smash-bros-esque moveset that hardly matters.

The game's floors have "encounters" which spawn 20-30 enemies in a cramped space in which it's impossible to dodge. The game theoretically has a combo meter, but it's guaranteed to be broken unless you can maintain a high enough DPS to kill monsters before they get an attack off. Dodging is impossible because every enemy explodes in gigantic, casino gem-shaped particle effects.

This is like casinos for zoomers, pachinko for the tik tok generation, a dense force of self-annihilation, the negation of everything good on our shared planet earth... wow... I'm going to go play a classic stage-based 2D action game instead.

Part of me was secretly hoping this game would be kind of simplistic like early Maple Story, but I was wrong! oops! The UI transitions in this game are also weirdly fast. I like a snappy transition but like picking a place name from a menu and then within 1/60th of a second appearing there is a little too fast somehow. It kind of makes the game feel flappy and paper-like, hollow, empty.

This game fucking sucks. I could have spent the $10 on bread...

Reviewed on May 05, 2022