Please use this elevator. Hold up, push this slow ass cart to vacuum up all the mako before you can access it. Exit this cave. Hold up, move this slow ass cart that's blocking the exit. Reach this ledge. Hold up, the ladder is broken, so you'll have to push this slow ass cart all the way there to use as a platform. Hold up, the path is blocked, so have Barret shoot at this boulder for several seconds so that you can continue pushing your slow ass cart. Great job, now it's time run across an empty field to go activate your 6th Ubisoft tower.

Seeing the rise of western AVNs thanks to platforms like Steam hosting them piqued my curiosity as someone who has been into the Japanese eroge scene since the early '00s. I decided to give them a shot to see if any are worthwhile and quickly realized that there are a million of these "work in progress" one-man project Ren'Py games. You're gonna have to dig through dozens of trite Being a Dik clones before you find any treasure. Luckily, Eternum is one such treasure.

What initially drew me to check it out was the fact that it used models created in Honey Select 2, a game that I have spent countless hours modding and toying with myself. I knew nothing else about it other than that going in. Starting out, I nearly dropped it because it seemed like the same familiar setup. Moving to a new town, rooming with girls, starting your first day of school, etc. The only thing that kept me playing was the models. Once you start learning about the titular Eternum; an MMO that the characters in the game play, however, things start picking up very quickly.

The premise is similar to something like .hack, with the characters hunting for powerful one-of-a-kind relic weapons, engaging with hostile high-level players, and unraveling the corporate conspiracy behind the game itself. Being in a setting like this, where the changing of a game server can send you to an entirely different world or time period allows for an endless amount of creative and entertaining scenarios to play out, and it's taken full advantage of. This is balanced with maintaining your relationships with the characters both in the real world as well as the game. The characters here all have very distinct, memorable personalities that set them apart from one another and make for a great cast. As for the H-scenes, the animation sequences are well done and stack up favorably to other games I've played. If I have one gripe, it's the constant use of asterisk actions in the writing. It's not a huge deal, but it happens enough that it's worth mentioning, and there are better ways to convey information that aren't as annoying.

As of writing this, the game is on release version 0.5. Hopefully, the developer can keep up the pace and stick the landing, because I think they've got something here.

TL;DR: Fun ride. Luna best girl and Annie is cuter than anyone in your favorite moege. Disagree? 1v1 me on Ion.

Veers a bit too far into the modern AAA "cinematic experience" trend for my taste.

The gunplay here is poor and unsatisfying, which is unfortunate, as you'll be dumping plenty of magazines into all the slow-moving bullet sponges you encounter on your journey to the next "epic" setpiece moment. Likewise, the puzzles are also unsatisfying, as they are generally pretty basic and don't require much thought.

Storywise, it's unremarkable for the genre. It leans in on campiness to make up for the lackluster scenario, but this didn't work for me. I just found the protagonist's constant quips after big moments to be cringe-worthy more often than not. It ended up leaving me annoyed with the person I was playing as anytime he opened his mouth.

I've honestly never really been a fan of Resident Evil, and this didn't change that. But hey, at least I tried?