welcome to the wrong opinion zone

wishlist is overflow for my backlog, which i cap at 30 to counter decision paralysis.

a 6/10 is still good

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Favorite Games

Return of the Obra Dinn
Return of the Obra Dinn
Chicory: A Colorful Tale
Chicory: A Colorful Tale
Mother 3
Mother 3


Total Games Played


Played in 2024


Games Backloggd

Recently Played See More

Rugrats: Search for Reptar
Rugrats: Search for Reptar

Jul 13

Videocart-16: Dodge-It
Videocart-16: Dodge-It

Jul 09


Jul 07

Star Fox Adventures
Star Fox Adventures

Jul 06


Jul 06

Recently Reviewed See More

nightmarish. camera's nauseating, character models are fucked up, whole thing controls like shit, music is headache-inducing, every sequence feels like a fever dream.

i can't really bring myself to hate it, though. it's bad, it's very bad, but it captures such a bizarre and off-kilter energy by pure apathy/lack of funding/lack of understanding of 3d platformers that it does feel like kind of a weird and unique experience. and there are plenty of times where its failings actually do synergize with what they might actually be going for, which is super bizarre. yes, maybe it is actually some degree of intentional that the movement in this game is a bumbling mess of fighting with the wonky camera and a d-pad and bumping into walls, you know, since that's how babies move around in real life. maybe the constantly looping circus music and the grotesque models and the stream-of-consciousness storytelling actually does kinda synergize with a lot of the weirdly frequent "kids horror" adjacent level themes here like being trapped in a store overnight or being abducted by aliens. a very very weird amount of the flaws of this game can be reframed in this manner, which is strange and remarkable in its own right.

i mean, obviously most of this is unintentional, though. i've done a bit of trickery here in this framing--most of the game is meandering through thoroughly dull mazes and platforming so meek and toothless you'd think they were probably embarrassed about the camera being so bad. the biggest flag to this is the tutorial screens given before minigames--all of which consist of a bare wall of text in a difficult to read font in front of a bright background cycling through all the colors of the rainbow. these blocks of text often border on incomprehensible since they almost always refer to things you haven't seen yet in very clunky ways, sometimes verbose, often bewildering. some of the very wonderful quotes from these screens include things like "Collect the Reptar boxes and place them on the stairs in the Reptar room in order to climb up to the switch and turn on Reptar." and "Run away from Angelica and press (Triangle) to throw the bottle to the baby with the arrow above his or her head." and "Press (Triangle) to start the jump meter. Press (Triangle) a second time when it reaches the smaller left line. Press (Triangle) a third time when the meter moves back down to the smaller right line" (this last one is particularly egregious, because the actual minigame itself takes less than 3 seconds to complete once you see the minigame screen and understand what it's asking you to do). can you imagine being in the target demographic for this game (probably, like, 4-8 years old) and trying to parse what these things are saying?

basically what i'm saying is that when enough things are wrong with a game, it can become a rorschach that you can read anything you want into. it's compelling to try and retcon this game as "the worlds first fumblecore game". it's compelling to bring up future works like Shipwrecked 64 or Petscop that were likely inspired by the thoroughly weird energy of early 3d games like this. but actually sitting down and playing Rugrats: Search for Reptar nonetheless evokes a sense of malaise, the constant repetition of voice lines and music and environments and the overstimulation of it all never reeally coalescing into anything substantive. but, like, what were you expecting? it's a licensed rugrats ps1 game lol

Videocart-16: Dodge-It is probably one of the first dodge-em-up games ever, and it really illustrates just how hard it is to screw up the format. You're playing as a dot and you're trying to avoid other dots, and that's all. The only thing that changes is that the size of the playfield and the player/dodgeball dots get randomized every round, but it's not much.

And, uh, it's kinda good? I'm talking 1978 standards, obviously, but this is certainly way more fun to play than many of the 2600 games out at the time. Arcades were obviously still dominating, but I could easily imagine a kid in 1978 spending an hour playing this with friends trying to see who could get the highest score. Very very simple, but perfectly respectable for the time.

Admittedly only played about 20 minutes but look, it's a brick breaker, and not a very interesting one. I feel like I can score this one.

In all 3 discussions on the internet about the arcade game Ghox everyone seems to bring up Wizorb as a comparison. And, uh, have you seen Ghox?? Just because two brick breakers have a fantasy theme does not actually imply any similarities in how they play. Ghox's playfield feels closer to a shmup than it does to Wizorb, which is suuuper slow and plodding in comparison.

I imagine this slowing down in Wizorb is a concession to make it playable on a d-pad, but please don't design a ball and paddle game for a d-pad. Even though paddle controllers are very rare these days, we do have computer mice and touchscreens which do a pretty close job. There's just no reason to be playing a brick breaker with a d-pad, and designing one around it just makes it feel like a pretty slow waste of time (especially when you've seen how frantic these games can really get when you play with a controller built for it).

It's still, like, competent, and you can play with a mouse, but it's dead easy and all the levels look exactly the same. Just play Ghox or Anodia instead.