A huge childhood favorite, but the core loop doesn't have a ton that's worth actually engaging in and sailing westward makes me think about dying, it's such a slog. Baron Raymondo's a bitch and I fucked his mom.

this shit went fuckin hard on the daycare gamecube

David Jaffe tweeted something stupid so I was compelled to come here and give this the rating it deserves. A truly miserable experience made exclusively for misanthropes who hate everything, especially themselves

Fuck it man, sometimes you want something that makes you feel like a ten year old again

JOSH SAWYER'S FUCKING BACK BABEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY, VIDEO GAMES ARE SAVED

Tried to pick this up again, was reminded that its unresponsive combat is not enjoyable to put up with and that taking damage you have little say in sucks ass. Dropped it again before I even beat Ten Piedad. Maybe I'll come back to this at some point, but not now.

2018

Sisyphus is my bro and I'd die over and over and over and over and over again for him

I'll have to get back to this at some point to finally beat Hades himself for real

I think Blizzard's attempt to turn Overwatch into a Serious Game for Serious Gamers has really dulled the initial appeal and cultivated a fairly shitty playerbase, but I still find myself having fun

Maybe I feel this way because I just flat out refuse to touch ranked with a 50 foot pole? No idea, and I don't care enough to check.

2022

The initial high of figuring out the combat is awesome, but it eventually felt kinda overlong and tedious when I started to realize how easy it is to just brute force your way through it using repetitive combos and mashing on the dodge/parry button. Boss fights, in particular, get real trivial when you realize you can hold a button and jiggle the stick to turn into fucking Neo

The vibes are generally cool at least. That is, when the complete afterthought of the story isn't getting in the way. Awfully voice acted, too. Why even include it?

Makes me want to go back and try Absolver. Maybe the key factor to really feeling like you're mastering a martial art in a game is the human element?

A post-modern nightmare of repulsive and brutal hyper-masculinity, set in a world crumbling before the player's very eyes in a mess of dead pixels and digital artefacting. The final day of planet Video-Games; a foundation of bodies, bullets and blood, finally buckling under the weight of entropy. There's no resolution here, no hope, not even a clear motive at the end, just self-immolation and the unquenchable fucking death-drive.

Ultimately, a damn sight closer to high art than most games could even dream of

literally just giving this five stars because Theme of Solid Snake KICKS ASS

This review contains spoilers

Docking half a point for never actually getting to pilot the skyscraper sized mech

This was a really solid foundation and I wish Relic had gotten the opportunity to expand on it because, dude, most everything about this feels perfect. You really do be fucking up those Orks, huh?

Sometimes, art doesn't need to do more than brutalize you