Lol, and lol.

You know, I really gotta give props to David Cage, he really is an innovator. Like how do you manage to make a game about discrimination/segregation/slavery with an allegory for civil rights so flawed, so stupid, that it double backs and ends up becoming offensive. Really impressive. Even still, if I'd completely ignore that and take this game at face value, there are so many issues with this that you could break it apart piece by piece (the melodramatic writing; David's usual misery porn; a "plot twist" so unnecessary that it ruins a whole character arc; the plot holes, holy shit, the amount of plot holes). Also, can we stop and think that this line was written, if not by an English white dude, by a French white man? Lmao.

As difficult as it is to talk positively about this I do have to mention a huge improvement over past Quantic Dreams games, and that's the presentation. Which I think it's also the main reason for the positive feedback Detroit has compared to their previous. Everything from the graphics, to the music, acting (specially Connor and Hank), and even the cinematic feel, is considerably better. I guess this would be Quantic Dream's closest attempt at making a game that feels like a movie, and it's really close to achieving it. Kind of disappointing that players find that enough to be tricked and ignore everything else about it that's a flaw, though.

Anyway, I'm currently dead sick so spending any effort in talking about this is exhausting enough... David Cage's best game so far.

★½ – Unplayable ❌

Oh, look at that! AC Valhalla got a sequel this quickly? Weird name for it though, "Hogwarts Legacy".

Sorry for the meanness, but this is pretty much everything I despise about triple A games nowadays. A successful time waster, barren of any substance whatsoever. Hitting the usual Ubisoft clone faults:

-Awkward pacing all around
-Bland ass dialogue
-Mediocre gameplay
-Over the top UI
-Mind numbing collectathons
-Side quests = fetch quests
-Bloated open-world
-Plays like it should've come out in 2014
Etc, etc.

To be honest, I can completely understand if you enjoy it as a hardcore HP fan, but I personally found it very silly. And I'm probably being too harsh with my rating, but I don't have any patience left for these types of games anymore.

★½ – Unplayable ❌

(And oh yeah, Rowling is an awful piece of shit of a human. And no, that's not reflected in my rating. The game's just that bad as it is.)

Just like Lone Sails, it tries to "wow" you with its presentation, but it's not doing much for me personally. It does add some depth to its predecessor's minimal story though, making both games, in conjunction, work better as an emotionally resonant adventure, but I'm not sure if it's still enough to rate them any higher. Enjoyed both games still, I just wish more from them.

If you did enjoy Lone Sails, go right ahead and try this one, because it's pretty much more of the same while also not feeling as repetitive with the addition of variety to your traversal and mechanics.

Joel Schoch pleeease make more video game soundtracks.

★★½ – Average ✅

If The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of The Wild hadn't been such an impeccable reimagining of the series, if it had been just slightly less tight with its controls, if the atmosphere and melancholy were just a little less palpable, Outer Wilds would likely be my favorite game of all time. Honestly, there must exist a world in which that's the case. Maybe this one, sometimes, allows its fabric to stretch and give just enough to allow Outer Wilds its (absolutely earned) place atop that list.

Outer Wilds maybe changed my life. Outer Wilds is the moment Natalie Portman plays The Shins for Zach Braff, but without all of the modern cringe we have all silently but unanimously decided to level against Zach Braff. It's a puzzle box where the puzzle is the riddle of existence itself, and the answer is a resounding, beautiful, perfect hope that maybe what we do matters. Maybe the people we love have value to an uncaring universe, simply because we love them. Maybe our tiny, fleeting creations, if given the chance, actually do contain the worlds that we imagine them to hold. Maybe the right words, the right voice, the right moment, could save us all. Maybe life, uh, does find a way, and maybe, if we’re lucky, we can be a part of it, just for a moment. It's whatever House Of Leaves is about, but with hope as its essential ingredient instead of nihilism. This is a game that I want to share with everyone I have ever loved.

A really simple, but immensely fun and cozy experience with a subtle, beautiful meaning. I can't imagine any complaints about it apart from its simplicity. With such a short length, it manages to create a charming world that I really didn't want to leave. And I can honestly imagine booting up the game once in a while to fly or interact with other characters that I missed. Fantastic art style and interactive soundtrack, and simple but solid progression and traversal mechanics. Some nice and short wholesome fun. Great game to recommend to the little one in your family.

★★★★ – Excellent ✅

Finally, a game to show your christian mom that she wouldn't get mad at… Maybe. Incredible and surprisingly scary trilogy that improves with each chapter, each full of subtle details and striking rotoscoping animations. Really recommended if you enjoy early 80s retro games, and are a fan of The Exorcist (and specially Exorcist III). It follows John Ward, a priest looking to regain his faith after a botched exorcism results fatal, that comes back to finish the job he started.

Chapter I - 6/10
+Great retro look, which it's allegedly very faithful to (sorry, pun not intended)
+Animations look fantastic, this goes for each chapter
+Subtle foreshadowing
+Challenging, but fun main boss fight. One of my favorites in the trilogy.
+Gary loves you
-Not really as scary compared to later chapters
-Checkpoints are very, VERY annoying
-Story is pretty bare-bones
-The least linear of the chapters, felt pretty lost for most of it

Chapter II - 7/10
+A more interesting story
+Linear, but with varied locations
+Improves on the spooks
+Features one of my favorite sequences. I won't spoil it, but pandemonium regnat satani vitae
+Gary loves you
-Bosses are okay-ish, but nothing as good as the one from the first chapter
-Checkpoints are still pretty bad
-Ending might disappoint some people. I don't really mind it that much, though.

Chapter III - 8/10
+The scariest of the three, by FAR. I was on my tiptoes for the whole duration
+Has one of the best jumpscares I experienced in gaming, and it wasn't cheap at all
+Still linear, but with some sense of exploration of the first chapter
+Checkpoints are better… mostly
+Lots of secrets
+Much better soundtrack
+A certain segment of the Apartments is GENIUS (the one clearly inspired by Saw and Rec)
+Decent bosses. True Ending final boss is fantastic, though
-Secret boss in the Apartments suuuucks big time
-Some sections could've been a tad shorter
-Gary hates you

★★★½ – Great ✅

Can't push myself to finish this one. Like previous reviews before me said, the game looks pretty good, even for a source game, mostly because of the inspired art style, but the level design sucks all the fun out of it. It feels like trial and error over and over again, and the dated gunplay of the source engine doesn't feel that fun for me anymore. The telekinesis/pyrokinesis mechanics aren't that well implemented, either. It feels pointless or too awkward to use. Also, there's a problem with the game's sound not working. If you're having trouble with that, you can use GCFScape to fix it. Kinda annoying, though.

★½ – Unplayable ❌

I wasn't expecting much from this after playing the first one, but I think it's considerably better. Enjoyed it a lot more.

Pros:

-Performance is incredible. I have a 1060 3gb and fps was way more consistent than Marvel's Spider-Man.
-Swinging is even better. I actually never used the air tricks because of Miles own dynamic movements.
-Miles is way more charismatic and relatable than Peter.
-No more boring MJ/Miles stealth sections.
-Way less filler. I enjoyed the side stuff compared to the first.
-Soundtrack has a lot more personality, and it's more memorable.
-This could be a bad thing for some people, but I appreciate it's only 8 hours short. I wish the first one was this short.
-(((TRIGGER WARNING for Gamers - Politics))) No more copaganda, and way more inclusive, but not in a forced way. Deaf girl mission was pretty cool.
-There's less boss fights, but given the quality of previous bosses… I think that may be a good thing.
-This doesn't affect my rating, but the Into The Spider-Verse suit with the effects on looks amazing. Combined with Miles movements, it looks just like the movie.

Cons:

-Writing was horrible in the previous game, and in some ways this one's might be actually even worse, but at least not as unintentionally funny.
-Villains are pretty boring.
-Combat is still kinda mid. More of the same.
-This is not really a con because you can turn them off, but imagine still implementing QTEs in 2022.

Feels weird to say, but I think I'm excited for Marvel's Spider-Man 2 if they keep improving on this.

★★½ – Average ✅