theres really no flavor to this

everything thats good in this was done better in the last games. everything thats new is whats bad and bland.

the game is way too easy and theres no difficulty settings.
i hate how they try to make the game super accessible but then force everyone to play the same way. its like making a long winding ramp into a building for ppl in wheelchairs but not making direct steps up that would make it faster for ppl that can walk forcing everyone on the same path.
list of things that shouldve been an easy mode feature:
- menu popups when standing still,
- rewind time,
- oatchi being overpowered,
- oatchi in general lol it preaches dandori then has oatchi which is the opposite of multitasking wanting you to keep pikmin close all the time and not multitask,
- too many map icons that tell you everything you have to do making exploration not fun and just a checklist,
- multiple base locations makes it easy to not multitask and stick to one area,
- overly helpful tech gadgets skill tree,
- cant pick more than 3 pikmin at a time making it harder to multitask,
- caves choose pikmin for you so theres no strategizing,
- caves are short and generally easy,
- bosses are short & easy,
- no overworld enemy respawns because its so easy to not lose too many pikmin,
- ice pikmin are overpowered,
- night missions are short and easy,
- glow pikmin are overpowered,
- theres no backtracking with new pikmin so everything can be finished 100% before the next level so then why arent all the pikmin introduced in level 1?
- you can travel to any cave sublevel so the grind for 100 purples is easy now.

there way too much mandatory dialogue i dont care to hear, you have to talk to ugly looking rescued npc’s once for lore nonsense and then a second time for gameplay rewards its so tedious. their dialogue shouldve been optional letters in a menu that you can read later or preferably for me not at all lol

its annoying having to talk to commanding crew members why am i not the captain. yall are clowns let me lead this stupid mission.

too many npc’s making the game feel crowded when the appeal of the older games were more about being stranded and isolated trying to survive in a dangerous, pretty, familiar, & mysterious planet. you should be collecting treasure for people not the actual people. i hate that you cant go inside the ship. the rescue command post shouldve been a space station you visit with shops/treasure museum/enemy zoo. the command post area is boring looking and again its tedious and not fun to talk to the people there.

its lame that olimar & louie come back but not the pikmin 3 characters. why is there just knock off diet versions of them? lame.

the pacing is a drag because of dialogue and tediously long easy levels. the tutorial is soooooooo long.

is this a reboot? it feels like a reboot. why were all the games rereleased on the switch if this is a reboot? im glad theyre all available now on switch but the plot of this game doesnt align with them. why is there a number 4 in the title if its a reboot? i dont need dense plot and lore for pikmin but i dont want the past games to be rebooted for no apparent reason and make me think about the story when theyre all cute sequels that can be easily explained. its dumb because it could be such a simple fix to change it to be another sequel and simply say what happened in the last 3 games in 3 short paragraphs. the last games had simple plots that i liked and accepted that didnt contradict each other and built off each other.
its not difficult to do this. the bar is so low.
the plot here is the exact same flavor of nonsense as tears of the kingdom. idec to explain it because it wouldnt make any sense. again the plots in 1-3 were simple and made sense and was the proper amount of cute & funny set up to get you to play it. the plot in 4 couldve been fine but it’s obsessed with mysteries like totk was:
“wheres olimar? "whats the disease? "whats wrong with oatchi?
me: who fucking cares!?!
rescue castaways? ok cool thats all i need. but theres like weird other unnecessary shit happening and i still have no idea why or what happened at the end lmao and again
i dont even like the rescue castaways thing anyways! dumb.

the house level is weird and inspires pointless lore questions about the planet and its implied apocalypse and makes me question things i didnt before like why theres tiny gates and obstacles. i hate that it makes me question who’s keeping this house clean. there couldve been cleaning inspired enemies in the house.
its bad when my roommate who only occasionally casually glanced at me playing this saw the house and got confused by the art design. like the aesthetics of pikmin levels are simple and make sense. the house is just weird.
i guess pikmin 2 did this with the caves too. but repeating dumb things doesnt make it okay now.

the new characters are ugly. i hate shepherd. and theres not enough customization with hair/face for different bodies for the player character

the character customization is fine but i hate that the rest of the game is so tied to you being in a story that didnt need to be there.

the menu & logo designs are flat, bland, and boring. this series is so unique for having wacky unconventional menu designs and this one is just so flavorless.

the music is bland & recycled

oatchi is ugly. if i saw that thing irl id squish it immediately. its meant to be a dog but i reject that. no it is not a dog. its an ugly rat thing that needs to be destroyed.
he has a skill tree thing for powerups and i hate it. fuck off
oatchi doesnt charge unless you button mash because he constantly runs away from you its annoying.
even if oatchi is in your party you have to walk up to him to jump on it’s frustrating especially in battles where youre expected to jump on and off of him.
pikmin cant jump off oatchi and charge they have to all be taken off together first its tedious.

the controls are clunky: the tablet menu should be A instead of B because B should be the close button. you can customize the d pad but not the Y button wheel which is dumb its like halfway button mapping but not completely.

the forced auto lock aiming without an ability to toggle between targets is dumb. that shouldve been a setting.

the game has a forced pikmin throwing limit to only the minimum requirement to carry an object but that makes it hard to lift an object with more pikmin than necessary because it ignores your button presses before you can throw more pikmin at an object but by that point the pikmin have started moving the object out of your throwing spot leaving extra pikmin standing around and now you have to chase the object to make sure extra pikmin help carry it faster. as usual that should’ve been a setting i could turn off.

if i hear the word dandori one more time istg.......
dandori missions not available on the main menu you have to go through story mode to play them.
dandori has a split screen single player with too much dialogue and images and shit on screen i never can figure out whats going on or where any of my pikmin are at. it looks like some ugly league of legends bullshit nonsense i hate it.

the co-op sucks. its like the player 2 star bit collecting in mario galaxy its lame af. shouldve been an option but not the only one.
its dumb theres no full co-op like pikmin 3 even tho it makes more sense in this game with the character customization. in 3 its weird when the characters multiply so it can work. but in this you could have both players make unique looking characters to play as in split screen. if they could do it in 3 while still having a story and non customizable characters there no excuse not to do it here.

npc’s are just trophy givers for completionist challenges that dont matter

pikmin dont come to you after dropping off treasure even if theyre close by which they did in old games.

the submerged castle remake is more just lazy than interesting or nostalgic or fun.

the night missions couldve had stuff you only do at night to affect things you can do in the day time. couldve had more stealth missions.
also the music during night missions is so loud and annoying i always muted it.

olimars remake mission reuses ship parts instead of having all the parts? its lazy

Blue pikmin arent as exclusive for water tasks since oatchi can carry everyone with.
Wing pikmin are worthless and not utilized for taking shortcuts over obstacles like they were designed for in 3.
White pikmin were for digging but now everyone can dig making that unique ability gone.
Purple pikmin are kinda replaced by oatchi and rock/ice.
Rock pikmin are replaced by ice pikmin.

i like that theres more maps i guess.

i hate that theres a mid game credits. dont reward morons who have that low of attention spans. those people are free to quit whenever they want but dont treat them like they accomplished something when the first half is forced to be super easy. fuck off.

the second half gets way too challenging way too fast theres no gradual incline of difficulty. i liked the challenge because i had gotten bored up until then but it will turn off a lot of people im sure in a stupid way and thats not their fault.

the purple/white onions are a side mission when they should be explained earlier.

there were several challenges in this where i was incredibly angry because i wasnt beating it. and not because it was a fun challenge but because it was an unfair stupidly designed challenge and i almost threw my joycons at the tv wii remote style i was so fucking pissed. i think it was a dandori challenge or something idk but i hated it. it made me almost want to rate the game 1 star.

in pikmin2 your whole squad could get juice flowers. here theres only some that can get any

showing the amount of pikmin lost is kinda pointless when you have the rewind feature made for perfecting that.

the game also has red gloom like totk that has no way to stop it, nothings immune to it, and your pikmin die immediately from touching it. pikmin 1 has this for 1 enemy but that was not a good idea and was rightfully abandoned for 2&3? it was the first game so its allowed to have some fumbles its fine nothings perfect but every sequels job is to notice mistakes and say ‘lets fix that’. i fucking hate when i want to criticize a sequel for something and some clown is like ‘it was in the original so youre being hypocritical!’ no fucker im not but thanks for reminding me of old flaws. it was maybe excusable then but its especially not excusable now. shut up!

i dont hate this game but the approach here just seemed to be “lets not improve anything in this series and flatten any unique quirks and good gameplay” lol i put it on par with the first game i guess like its playable and fun still but i dont love it.
it needs work whereas pikmin 1 can get away with its faults because its the original game and it was improved in its sequels but 4 is a sequel so why is there more issues now? like tears of the kingdom everything it does right is to the credit of its predecessors and almost everything that’s original is what makes it bad
✌🏻

i love noodle ssso much🐍 he’s ssso cute ☺️ i need a plush of him immediately. the 8 bit version of him is cute too. i love messing with his funny facesss lol im glad they made him cartoony and not too realistic looking its more fun :)
and i love that he’s a vegetarian even though he's a dangerous venomous snake lmao

i have just two words for people who find this game too difficult:
• git
• gud
lol idk i think i have a sssnake brain because this game just came sssso naturally to me lol it gave me what i never knew i needed from platforming. its weird it hadnt been made decades ago…
i love how nonlinear the gameplay is. theres no one way to finish a level and theres no one way to navigate all the obstacles.
i kept thinking the game was getting easier but it was just because i kept doing the difficult side challenges first lol
i slipped on ice and ripped up my knuckle making holding a controller a pain along with cat scratches on my other finger and i still had a great time lmao
it’s hilarious watching negative review videos of this game and people are whining about something being hard or whatever and i can literally see in my head the controller and the buttons this person is not pressing to get through something and its always because theyre not interested in learning how to play. theyre not patiently or carefully slithering around the very helpful poles given to them because they want to run and jump and not slither.
the gameplay is great yall just suck at it lol like sorry i enjoy learning a fun new type of gameplay and i dont just play dumb indistinguishable murder simulators or mediocre pokemon sequels or whatever. if youre not into platformers then okay thats fair. but like idk how anyone who enjoys platformers would not enjoy this if they give it a chance and embrace it for what it is? whatever. their loss lol

my only major issue (and tbh its sort of just a minor issue) with the game was the scenery. i love the jungle temple setting but its got just a little too much detail with the plants & decorative temple shit that the camera gets stuck on or it has plants and stones that cover the camera. and swimming underwater is hard to see with all the seaweed and stone blocks everywhere.
also doodle the hummingbird was annoying af always flying in front of the camera i just wanted to violently swat it away. using doodle for help is sorta of like bumpers in bowling. like most often i could do the whole levels without doodle and i just used it out of laziness at times wanting to climb up faster because it was offered lol but like as a last second savior i didnt really need it because this game just came very naturally to me. but i wish it was a dragonfly (even if thats kind of copying sparx the dragonfly from spyro lol) but like i just wanted something smaller and less intrusive on the camera. its even worse when you switch to the 8 bit cosmetic skins and its just a big block in front of the screen -_-
there was a moment where i got a collectable only because i cheated and climbed up a decorative statue that i shouldnt have been able to climb on . if the setting was designed with a little less decorations it wouldnt have been a problem. theres nothing wrong with a little editing guys. the primary appeal here is the gameplay you dont need to do so much to sell it with the art design...
also the decorative floating islands you cant get to needed a different design to better show that theyre not meant to be accessible. they have skull warning signs on them but its not enough because i dont always see them and sometimes end up wasting a minute trying to figure out how to get to a decorative island thats not supposed to be accessible so it makes it confusing where ive been and where i need to go. and theres tops of structures with nothing on them and im like ? why is this here? idk some of it may be a place they put the fruit in arcade mode? i didnt play that too much really tho so i wouldnt know. like its fine tho thats just nitpick it didnt ruin the game.

the checkpoint system was a tiny issue when i forgot what stuff id collected and id think id gotten something then turns out i died during that life lol some of my post game 100% completion task to finish it was just re-collecting stuff id already gotten but forgot to recollect after dying. but it wasnt like bad and only happened a few times. i guess it just should have always saved the collectables whenever youre fully on a flat grass area and leave the checkpoint respawn stones only for a place to go after you die. thats just another little nitpick tho its nothing that frustrating really lol and it only matters if youre a weirdo completionist like me. if youve done all the challenges you care to do and dont care to 100% the game it doesnt matter.
the game works best if you go through all the levels first just focusing on the keystones then do the bubble and coin collectables in the post game for more challenges.

the intro is kinda weird having noodle already on these floating islands? its an odd start like do they live there? lol
like it doesnt matter really. its not a flaw and im not asking for a story to this game (cringe) because thats not the appeal here. but a little cutscene of noodle and doodle arriving at a portal that teleports them up to the floating islands wouldve made more sense to me. but i guess since noodle is a vegetarian he doesnt need to hunt animals if he lives on the floating islands lol whatever.

the 4 elements theme to the 4 worlds is cute. the names of the gods of each world are funny :p
i wish theyd utilized the elements more for each world because its sorta just art design and doesnt affect the gameplay very much.

i like that theres no villians or dumb boss fights or conflicts of any kind. its just lighthearted platforming fun :) it makes the challenges more relaxed. theres no dumb timers or anything to stress you out.

the soundtrack was done by the guy that did the donkey kong country soundtracks so of course thats a plus. i love the water world music. its so groovy and chill :P

the last level had several glitches where id die while sitting idle on grass ? or the hummingbird would throw me off a cliff instead of transporting me to another platform? it fixed itself when i reloaded the level but still it was odd…

i like that the game gives you the sssssuper ssssspecial sssssnake vision post game to find missing collectables easier so you never have to look up anything online. i hate when a game requires or inspires outside help to complete it. a game should always make it clear what you have to do within the game itself. it should always be a self contained experience.

the arcade mode and time trial modes are kinda boring to me. i never understood the appeal of speed running? whatever. happy for ppl who enjoy that but idgaf.

i waited 2 years to buy this on sale and ended up only paying $1.50 for it because of the sale and an added discount from buying other eshop games lmao but i wouldve gladly bought it full price.

so yea this was definitely one of my top favorite gamesss :)
as cynthia harrell would say in beginning of the theme song to metal gear solid 3 sssnake eater:
"what a thrill..."
🐍
✌🏻

metal gear solid 2 ruined all other ps2 games.
my brain considers it a ps3 game because its so much better than every other ps2 game out there. so this game feels like it couldve been so much better now that ive seen the systems capabilities.

this game is janky & chaotic af but its funny & fun (usually) so whateverrrrr

ive gotten so many nightmares from this game of driving uncontrollably recklessly running people over lmao
the violence is absolutely deranged insane sick and twisted lmao but its fine because its a cartoon joke game.

i want a remaster of this AND ALSO have it include the original version of the game along with it because i want all art to be preserved (especially games which arent properly preserved enough)
but i dont think itll ever happen sadly :/

the camera gets stuck on nothing way too much

the coins from bees and crates should automatically go to you or not be spread out so much. Sometimes they clip behind walls and you lose coins by not seeing them its annoying.

the car/clothing selection should be a vertical list showing a large amount of car names with the preview picture, not just one name & preview at a time. its hard to find the car you want when you get so many of them and theyre sorted alphabetically but i could only remember them based on which level they were obtained in order so they felt too mixed up when you get them all.

i dont understand why apu of all characters is a playable one?
its weird playing a non-simpson then going back to bart and homer.
i wish lisa or marge replaced apu instead since homer & bart get used twice but not the ladies. Lame.

the multiplayer sucks. nobody wants top down racing wtf no??? fuck off.

i wish the different characters had different abilities and gameplay styles. why doesnt bart get a skateboard? it makes sense for homer & bart to be doing a grand theft auto chaos but why is lisa stealing cars & kicking people? i wish her & marge had gameplay that fits their characters better. i mean that wouldnt fit the game’s title & its just a racing/platforming game (and i love it) but still its weird and out of character for them.

the maps are fun to drive around but after the first 3 levels its kinda ran its course and just starts repeating the levels but with a higher difficulty and different time of day or the halloween theme but the collectables get repeated exactly the same and theres not really any new gameplay or even twists on the formula its just faster versions of races youve done before so thats lame.
i can forgive the staff because of time constraints in the production or whatever happened to cause this but still its repetitive to play as it goes on.

the halloween level is cool and exciting at first but also annoyingly small after the gimmick wears off.

it got really annoying towards the end having to grind for coins by breaking stuff or doing a bunch of races to unlock cars and stuff. its bad padding.

its nice that theres a mission skip option because some of these missions are ridiculous but thats also annoying because then it skips plot stuff (even tho the plot doesnt matter lol) but after Apu’s level i had to start using the games cheat codes to get through the game because it suddenly grinded to a halt and i wasnt making any progress. im happy the cheats were in the game but also theres fun ones that couldve been implemented in as gameplay gimmicks. the resources are there so like why wasnt there a level where homers drunk and you have to race with a ‘drunk vision camera’? lmao or something silly where you use the horn to make the car jump? instead the game just repeats the same types of missions and it gets stale. this didnt need to be a difficult game it only needed to be a funny & fun game.

this game shouldve been cel shaded like ‘the simpsons game’ was.

i just want a sequel to this or just a better non racing only themed open world simpsons game with a bigger map & no loading times & more gameplay variety etc.
🤘🏻

has some neat puzzles, has some insufferable puzzles, and has some impossible puzzles for my colorblind eyeballs. i couldn’t have played a good chunk of this without help from friends/internet but luckily its mostly nonlinear with lots of optional puzzles.

the island is very pretty i want to live there.

but the live action secret ending and the audio recordings are pretentious trying to elevate this into something artistic when it didnt need to be art. it doesnt mean anything artistic so it just needed to be puzzles on a pretty island. the end. shut up.

.

idc to even figure out what that title even means because i know it doesnt actually mean anything. its probably just that dumb "open to interpretation" bullshit.
this game is stupid, lazy, and worthless as art.
the puzzles are fine but theyre irrelevant to the games lazy shallow themes because they dont interact with each other in a way that matters.

it acts all mysterious with its environment and its attempts at world building masquerading as if it has a story to tell but it obviously doesnt. its just a random bunch of biomes and eras of human technology and historical periods that dont actually mean anything. its just a mystery box vibe game. its not deep or interesting in the way it thinks it is.
the audio diaries are insufferably pretentious. that shouldve been a thing you open in the menu to read or listen to. not an autoplay thing you cant shut up. actually just remove that completely its a lazy way to insert themes and ideas into the game. ideas that again have fuck all to do with the actual gameplay of the game. and theyre all quotes by other people! this isnt respectable or interesting art! its just a collage of other peoples quotes! stfu!!!!

i wish i could spoil the ending to this game for everyone planning to play it because i hate it that much. i dont think the game should have the right to waste peoples time like that. people should be warned of the pseudo-intellectual bullshit this game is gonna throw at them when its over. i had a suspicious feeling of fear about this game that it was gonna have a stupid ending. it was the same feeling i had towards the endings of Lost and Twin Peaks thinking "uh oh... this aint going anywhere but its gonna act like its more important than it is" so i looked up the ending ahead of time and i dont regret it because i was fuking right! the final ending is just a “it was just a simulation/dream” ending😒😒😒 its so fucking lazy!!! the way its filmed is so cheap & tacky. the whole thing is just a cop out. its so elementary. this is what bad artists do when they give up and cant think of an ending because their ideas were shallower than they wanted them to be.
“sighhh it’s so dumb.”😑
people should get real art or a normal game. not a shallow game pretending to be art and failing.

a game not being art is not an insult. its okay if the only art in the game is just the art design and having a visual style.
like you dont need to insert dumb philosophy monologues to be considered smart and artistic. its fine.. its okay for a game to be just a bunch of puzzles on a pretty island you dont need to impress ppl with anything else its fine. something being just simple and entertaining still has value i promise!!!!
like im not against games being more deep but like do it right and focus on that. again dont just throw it in lazily to act like its somehow now an intellectual art piece.
this is a game made by lazy talentless people pretending to be artists without putting in the work needed to be actual art to trick dumb people into thinking theyre smart for playing it.
none of this means anything.
you made a bunch of tricky clever puzzles and thats great! but beyond that you didnt actually DO anything artistic or interesting thematically and you didnt need to.
shut up.

i was expecting more puzzle variety not just drawing lines on panel boards the whole time but whatever its fine. theres a lot they did with that simple idea. its mostly works.

some of the lines you draw are gimmicky but its fine.

the timed puzzles are annoyinh

having to redo the previously solved puzzle after failing one is annoying.

i dont hate first person games but there should be an option to play in 3rd person.

im colorblind so some of these puzzles i couldnt even see or they gave me weird optical illusions that hurt my eyes. so some of the puzzles were impossible for me to complete without collaboration from friends. which compels me to 1 star this game for not having the option to change these things in the settings. why would you not fucking include a colorblind mode? most colorblind people are men. most gamers are men. its stupid. same applies to the sound puzzles i couldnt hear what i was supposed to hear so it was impossible for me to complete those puzzles without the help of friends.
im not dumb this game is just unfair sometimes. you dont have to do all the color puzzles to beat the game but still: go fuck yourself jonathan blow.

a tip/hint guide wouldve been nice to have when things get too confusing. i hate when games make me want to look things up. i wouldnt have gotten through this game without the help of friends. its cool for a game to be hard but i want to get through a game if i started it and i want it to be a self contained experience and this game wouldn’t have given me that. its ok to have difficulty settings you can change while playing. not doing that is inherently exclusionary. people bought your game they should be able to experience All of it on some level.
jonathan blow is not a good person.

the island is sorta confusing and i couldnt really form a visual map of it in my head because its so nonlinear. the map given on the boat is nice but i wish it was available at anytime. traveling on the boat is also clumsy and tedious af

i wish the game would log which puzzles youve finished in a menu so youd know which you havent done and also to know which are optional.
theres several puzzles that just open a door to a puzzle area already completed making it pointless. the open world aspect kinda messes with any progression the game already has but tries to avoid by being nonlinear.

sometimes the puzzles are just about positioning yourself correcting on the ground and looking at the right angle which can be stupidly difficult to get right. it doesnt give you a feeling of accomplishment its just annoying and arbitrary.

the open world approach is sort of nice at times because you can explore other areas if something is hard.
but its a somewhat linear game trying to be open world but it doesnt work as well as it could. sometimes its unclear if youve learned the necessary puzzle mechanics or not so you dont know if youre just stupid or if the game is just allowing you to attempt a puzzle you have no knowledge of how to solve.
sometimes youll do a very hard set of puzzles then later do a very easy set of puzzles realizing you shouldve done them in a reverse order. but the game just doesnt guide you towards its areas in a linear enough way. give me like 4 areas of equal difficulty to deal with in whatever order i want then open it up to harder ones after, not everything all at the same time.

at least its beautiful looking i guess.
✌🏻

when its good its just an expensive glorified breath of the wild DLC masked as a sequel.
when its bad its a misguided, nonsensical, bloated, linear, uglier, & dumber breath of the wild lol
everything it does right is mostly to the credit of its predecessor and almost everything that’s an original concept is what makes it bad because it made the mistake of forcing itself to be a dlc/sequel to botw instead of a new game.
it sucks how people are praising this game so much trying to replace botw and to make it irrelevant :/
it also sucks that there wont be a truly brand new zelda game for an even longer time now :/
a misguided & mediocre zelda/botw game is still an engaging entertaining game product tho so whatever im glad it exists on some level. i still had some fun just not as much fun as with botw. i loved getting to skydive in my favorite game so thats nice :)
still way too expensive. glad i didnt pay full price... yeesh.
and you still cant even pet the dogs! BOOOOOO
✌🏻


Positives
- the old exploration of the botw map still is sometimes fun despite redundancy and some worse replications
- lots of quality of life fixes in menus etc
- skydiving & shooting up from the towers is incredibly thrilling
- the sky islands are beautiful
- zelda turning into a dragon is a cool visual and very bittersweet.
- its fun revisiting this world. helping ppl and seeing the changes. i loved destroying the great plateau entrence rocks to drain the water; ive always wanted to do that lol
- More enemies & combat
- More sidequests
- Caves & wells are fun to explore despite no reward
- its nice not having to buy amiibo or other dlc's to get everything in the game
- Horse god upgrades horses
- Combat shrines are better
- The sage temples are cool looking
- i had some minor fun with the ultrahand building gimmick
- the cookbook is appreciated


Gameplay issues
- its just a DLC. it repeats the gameplay of botw way too much but does it worse. using the same map and gameplay loops comes off as cheap. you unlock parts of the map, collect powerups from shrines, find koroks, and defeat 4 (now 5) dungeons and confront the boss. couldnt yall have come up with something else?

but now its all much more linear & plot driven which is frustrating since thats what breath of the wild was going against in favor of pure exploration no filler. this mix of open world and linearity doesnt mesh very well; you cant have it both ways. the game strongly implores you to go places and it gets annoyed at you for exploring on your own and not doing its endless tutorials and linear plotline. You should leave tutorial island fully ready to wander the open world as you see fit, not have to follow up on the first few main quests to get your paraglider and the ability to activate towers. purah tells you the exact order to do the 4 temples. Im always finishing side quests etc but skipping the beginning of quest lines before theyre given to me because i naturally want to explore but the game isnt fast enough to keep up with me because it wants to be linear and tell you what to do so i end up skipping stuff.

- the new zonai powerups are weird and fun sometimes but theyre sort of more just impressive as technical feats in game design than they are useful or fun as gameplay gimmicks.
- the ultrahand stuff i was mostly indifferent to. but it is sloppy game design.
its weird having horses and ultrahand vehicles.
the game is so linear it never felt like i had to strategize or be creative because all the parts i needed where usually given in close proximity so it was more a tedious grind to put the parts together that the game wants me to do. it felt like a concept that shouldve been developed for a different game/map. like a fully new zelda game not this dlc scam game.
youre never rewarded enough for being creative and makes it cost more to be creative. its always easier to just do the thing it wants with the parts provided or just make a '2 fans + 1 steering stick hover bike' like everyone else did.
- i hate how often ultrahand creations despawn if you go in a shrine or save the game which can leave you stranded in places forcing you to warp elsewhere to start all over jusdt to grind back to where you were.
- autobuild exists but its at a great cost if you build something creative and again its just easier to build a cheap hover bike
- auto build doesn't automatically take the required devices out of your inventory
- fuse is kinda dumb. they shouldve just had new weapons/arrows. it doesnt fix the weapons breaking/hoarding problem. but it does make it more incentivizing to fight enemies for more fuse parts
the fuse menu for arrows is way too long and repetitive. You have to fuse every arrow. it doesnt compel me to experiment when i can just use the same 4 fuses
- recall is mildly useful
- i barely used ascend? and when i did it was in areas predetermined by the game to be used so why not just have a ladder or a ramp? i never felt like i was being creative with it. whenever i wanted to be creative it wouldnt let me use it.
- the great sky island is way too long and linear and is nowhere near as good as the great plateau was.
- sky islands are sparce, lackluster, linear, and repetitive. idk why they were advertised so much when you spend more time in the depths
- The game is dumbed down in unnecessary ways that werent present in botw. it tells you to do stuff too directly rather than guiding or suggesting. forced X’s on my map to find clothes instead of menu hints.
- its kinda cheap that you just end up hunting down and collecting mostly all the same armor sets rather than getting all new ones. its almost like this is a dlc scam and not a real sequel! crazy right?! yea its good you dont have to buy amiibo to get the old clothes but having new clothes and still without amiibo wouldve been better

-the new enemies are appreciated but it still feels repetitive despite them doubling the amount
- when the game is challenging its such a steep jump and the combat is a nightmare to the point that it feels unfair. especially in the ganon fight. people complained about botw's final boss being too easy but the expection was for it to be accomplishable and reasonably fair.
- the zonite crystalized charge battery well thing is a confusing grind. First you collect Zonaite, then you take that Zonaite to specific locations in the Depths to be converted into Charges. Then you take those Charges to a different type of facility that i forget the name of because theres too many steps, and theyre located only in two places (neither of which are in the Depths) to convert the Charges into Wells. by the time you get one its barely an upgrade and takes forever to get it fully done.
- sages powers are annoying to use and they do too much of the work for you.

- the depths is less impressive the more you explore since its just a large inverse of the overworld and its too empty compared to the rest of the game and it has no goal or motivation to be explored really. there shouldve been more collectables underground like idk ? dark koroks idk something?
- i wish the caves connected to the depths. its weird theyre not.
- The depths would be an exhausting endless grind without a good hover bike. its stupid how the vehicles in the depths have a distance limit and disappear and you keep having to create new vehicles at the little ultrahand parts depots its so tedious and unfun.
- why is the depths so much more extensive than the advertised sky islands? you spend more time in the dark than in the sky its stupid. the gimmick of darkness in the depths is spooky but like cheap game design. its like padding.

- Temple dungeons are basic and easy just like botw was. theyre not what people wanted theyre just divine beasts with different themes. They theming and treks to them are fun. The shrines had most of the dungeon content like last time but these dungeons dont provide enough for how hyped up they are. people wanted a puzzle box with complex layouts keys and minibosses. not large simple spread out stand alone puzzles you can cheese around by climbing or using ultrahand/ascend abilities etc. Theyre more like mini dungeons for how simple and basic they are functionally.

- zelda couldve been a co-op player in single and 2 player. she could be controllable from the past as a replacement for the underworld. and function like the sages
- The sages interupt your gameplay and follow you around but you cant clip through them so they get in the way. They should follow directly behind you so to utilize them you just turn 180 then press A

- gacha vending machine instead of a store with prices and select inventories is dumb
- the gloom is kind of a stupid punishment especially in the fight against ganon.
- a horse stable isn’t immediately available
- the game gives you tips after youve done them yourself
- map in the menu wheel? why is there 2 map buttons
- theres not as much environmental direction and the botw terrain leads you nowhere sometimes
- the way zonai items disappear is confusing
- the weather should be viewable on the map when in pro mode
- no horse saddle to warp it from anywhere

- the lurelin village rebuilding was cute but it shouldve been a more common gameplay aspect. rebuilding castle town and getting rid of yiga clan shit
- the pirates being monsters was kinda disappointing
- no wolf link amiibo
- the star fragments fall right next to you and the dragons fly so close to you. The game has flying vehicles but you dont need them to get to a dragon. Its more dumbed down botw
- shrine endings take forever
- The pony points thing is stupid
- Why is there wheels and car parts if we already have horses?
- Koroks to escort arent always provided a vehicle or parts to travel to the location so its easier to abandon it and find other ones. Unlike botw where the koroks could always be done there unless you had no arrows
- You still cant put a full armor set on at once. That or the menu shouldnt be be 5 slots per row, it should be 3 per row. it makes messy with sets on multiple rows making it time consuming to put them all on.



Lore/Story issues
- at best it just inspires me to create fanfiction out of the story which is not a good sign.
- too much dialogue
- The linear story is incompatible with botw's inherent nonlinearity and it ruins the game trying to fuse the two together. its such a mess.
- The story is pointless nonsense.
the more you think about botw the more it reveals what makes it good. the more you think about totk the dumber it becomes and makes less sense.
Botw had themes of freedom and loneliness expressed in its gameplay with the flashback cutscenes acting as a prelude/prologue story to the experience of those themes in the gameplay but it wasnt trying to tell an actual story. it was an adventure game. that doesnt mean its a lesser experience its just a different approach.
totk tries to make a story within the gameplay which would be fine but it goes nowhere and none of it works as a story. the game wants to be about community and being social again and this had lots of good potential but its mostly nonsensical and worse it fucks with the gameplay too much for me to respect it existence.
death stranding does a much better job at telling that kind of story.
Zelda gets the flashback cutscenes now showing her time in the past but it means nothing and supports nothing in the present other than a plot twist with her being a dragon. at best who cares and at worst its another dumb example of the titular female character never being given enough agency. they always force her to sacrifice herself and im sick of it!
botw's cutscenes were perfectly designed for its nonlinear gameplay because you know hyrule falls before you watch them so its just little lore bits but its optional and can be watched out of order. but in totk you sorta have to find the cutscenes otherwise everything makes even less sense. but for no reason other than to force the story on you. and worse youll be watching the plot out of order. theres no good reason we're not told about zelda being a dragon from the begining other than for a gimmicky twist later. its DUMB!!!!!!
it fucks up the non linear gameplay because link weirdly doesnt tell ppl he knows where zelda is after he's seen her cutscenes. he doesnt have a voice actor but he does talk he's just quiet mostly unless he has something important to say theres no reason he shouldnt say something to these people its so badly designed!
the tear pools shouldnt let you view the cutscenes until youve got them all. then change the npc dialogue
Its all a shallow gimmick that acts more important than it is.
- nothing about the zonai makes any sense.
theyre also UGLY fucking furries and i HATE it!! theyre so god damn creepy!!!!
- The ending is all cinematic and has striking epic visuals but its pointless and makes no sense. The upheaval and zelda’s sacrifice and return to human form are given no explanation and mean nothing. Theres no true growth loss or change. so why was there a story added when its just a nothing nonsense plot. again botw avoided this by not wasting your time with a pointless lore plot making it all optional flashbacks.
- The premise makes no sense. theres not enough continuity with botw. Where did the sky islands come from? Botw at least explains the divine beasts and shiekah tech’s existence. but now the shiekah stuff is mostly gone without any real explanation? where is links shiekah slate & motorcycle? its weird theres sheikah lookout towers but nearly everything else is gone?
it wouldve been cool if the sheikah stuff was now the lost unexplained ruins while the zonai gets to be the focus. but now its almost all gone. its lame.
and where did links clothes go?
- its never explained what happened to the zonai or anything. everything in the game is related to them but theres no explanation of them so its hard to care about anything happening here. its all so hollow.
- it makes no sense where all this zonai stuff came from or why it replaced sheikah stuff completely? this is a direct same map sequel why is it trying to be stand alone.
- and im not fooled by this retcon of the zonai stuff. none of this was actually planned out they just created a new art design and then slapped on the zonai name to appease and bait the insufferable theory youtuber morons. its a cheap scam im not into that shit. its just silly how the zonai stuff from botw looks nothing like the sky island aesthetics
- voice acting is awful as usual
- post temple cutscenes are insufferably repetitive
- no kass
- Nobody seems to remember link from botw
- link has no memory loss but he needs reminding of stuff. the dialogue shouldve been more about giving you the option to choose links replies based on if youve played botw or not “i know that” or “i forget what that means”
- it shouldve taken place in the past hyrule to explain shrines and sky islands and ignore continuity with botw (avoiding the issue of characters forgetting who you are etc)
- the islands shouldve had more biome diversity, pine trees and desert islands cactuses palms etc
- Hatenos mushrooms look stupid and not in a funny way its just dumb.
- koltin is dumb and annoying i miss kilton
- no guardians as friendly allies or anything at all theyre just gone completely
- Fused weapons look stupidly large and they clip through too much
- lookout landing ruined that pretty fountain area. it shouldve been in castle town.
- secret stone shouldve been called sacred stone
- where did yunobo's shield ability go?
- Why is there lower gravity in the sky? its no higher than a plane would travel?
- cant build house anywhere
- The menus for objects are nonsensically organized. Why is the map on the wheel why is the purah pad stuff in the key items. Why are there treasure maps and auto build schematics in the key items when theyve been used. Shiekah Slate and Inventory should be one menu. Sheikah slate should contain your collected items.
- its cute to get all the old clothes back but its disappointing when youre not getting as much new outfits. why was armor gone? shouldve had a cutscene where enemies raid links house. or armor shouldve carried over from botw with the horses.
- The moblin horns look ugly
- The ring ruins are ugly, always stay in place, and i dont get the point of them being there. I wish you could send them back into the sky
- The sky island ruins across the fields are ugly and stay where they are littering the fields
- No link to the past pink hair
- Jumping/diving in water should kill you
- Launching blocks should kill you
- Theres still no climbing grips to explain how link climbs everything
- the new zonai architecture is inconsistant with what was in faron so why wasnt it a new culture

its fine.
sort of a sloppy attempt to merge 3d world with odysseys nonlinearity. but sorta adds nothing to the franchise beyond the jokey bowser gimmick.
the gameplay is nothing groundbreaking.

the bowser gimmick becomes a mess the longer it goes on.
sometimes you cant collect a new cat coin because the amount of options dwindles and bowser makes it impossible to finish a level.
and bowser wont fall asleep even if youre not moving.

after the post game bowser should turn back into a weak godzilla bowser until you collect 100 cat coins and then his hair turns white and you trigger the 2nd final boss fight.
but because he stays in his final boss form it gets the game stuck in a loop where you cant do anything because
you have no motivation to fight his long final boss again & sit through the end credits scenes.

after defeating bowser once you should get the yellow hair cat suit before collecting 100 cat coins; instead of getting it after when you have no reason to play anymore.

overall its fun enough.
and it got me to love bowser jr who i used to always hate so thats cool. he's just a punk lil twerp lol love him
✌🏻

bigger is not always better

big level areas make the game too barren to have to walk around in.

collectables are in bundles making large levels pointless (like the mayan level) and easy to get lost in (like the mine & dino levels) but it was done because of hardware limitations so whatever i guess.

terrydactyland is a confusing circle.

has a bad default flipped y axis that makes camera controls annoying and you cant customize all 3 variations of the camera so i have to change it every time i went from doing swimming or shooting.

the targeting aim circle always snaps back to the center of screen when you stop moving it. the inflatable bear boss was insufferable because of this. it shouldve been an option to keep it on or let it be still and stay where you leave it.

the fps levels suck and should not exist in a platformer game like this. fuck off

canary mary is frustrating at first but once you learn she’s on a rubber band tied to you its super easy to beat her. she still needs to rot in hell tho. fuck that dumb bird.

mumbo should be a powerup you aquire not a playable character. or maybe it shouldve been an option.

the giant fish boss is frustrating when camera faces the black wall and you cant see shit.

the transport platforms are too small and take a sec to jump into them correctly. its odd especially in a game obsessed with making everything else huge.

inaccessible jiggies shouldve been greyed out before you get the moves necessary to get them. the game is one big interconnected world which is cool but i sometimes didnt know if i could get a jiggy and was being dumb or if i had to wait for a powerup or something later.

the sick dino transportation mission is confusing.
its slightly too difficult figuring out how to get into grunty industries.
other times you do things connecting the levels is done by accident. so its either too difficult to figure out or not a purposeful action you get to think about and do.

the jiggy tips should be located in the totals menu.

theres too much tedious convoluted steps of transforming characters and backtracking to do simple thing

jinjo village, jiggy temple, hen egg, bee, humba, mumbo should be in same area for convenience not spread across the isle.

too many steps to activate cheats: cheato temple should be in wooded area and cheato should be inside the temple not in gruntys lair. or else it should all be in gruntys lair instead.

the backpack menu, jingos & objects should be on same screen as level totals.

bottles dying & the characters playing soccer with gruntys head is kinda grim for a kids game but bottles lives and grunty is evil so its not a huge deal but its also dumb unnecessary edginess.

humba wumba is probably racist.

i wish you could’ve played as tootie who is absent in this for whatever reason?

banjo has lower voice and doesnt say ‘guh huh’ anymore :/

still one of my favorite games of all time though! a fun wacky adventure and a worthy sequel.


levels ranked:
1 grunty industries (its ugly but i probably like it because it feels like a zelda dungeon)
2 jolly roger bay (has the cool underwater reveal)
3 hailfire peaks (fun dichotomy)

4 witchy world (great concept but needed more rides/decorations, but navigating it is better than most levels)
5 mayan temple (its fun and serviceable)

6 terrydactyland (great theming but confusing level design)
7 cloud cuckooland (confusing level design and its concept isnt as weird as it couldve been)
8 glitter gultch (the sparkling gem walls is a cool effect but kind of a meh level, i dont hate it but its the least exciting)

the game is servicable. its mario. theyre always at least servicable.
nothing all that fresh. and thats fine i still had fun with it all as usual.

but its overrated. i should probably just ignore the annoying public consensus.. but too bad im engaging with it!
this just isnt the groundbreaking/return to form that people are acting like it is.
yall clowns are still whining about the new super mario bros series being generic or whatever (calm down) but can we all just collectively get fucking real here? this game is just another one of those games but with some new branding and flashier animations and a talking flower to distract you from the fact that it plays basically the damn same. i liked the ‘new’ series but lbr this easily couldve been just ‘new super mario bros switch’.
if the aesthetics was all anyone hated about new super mario bros then… theyre stupid. the ‘new’ series wasnt that interesting as games but this game isnt that much better.
im not thinking anyone needs to hate this game or like the 'new' series or anything. i enjoyed this and had lot of fun but i just find it silly seeing people act like this normal ass mario game is some groundbreaking return to form when in reality not much has fundamentally changed in a major way. (and thats fine with me for now)

like ideally id love for the gameplay of a 2d mario to be designed like the game celeste but... oh well.

the new art style is fine didnt care for it much at first but its grown on me.
the character animations are so fun and charming. mario is more adorable and cute than ever lol
the arab desert world is cool.

love that you can turn off the flowers voice.
but what if i said i kept the flowers voice on?! what then?! when you mute him in the setting he’s like ‘was it something i said?’ and i was like ok thats funny lol you know you’re gonna be seen as annoying so i can accept you now. but theyre actually not even annoying to me and made me laugh a lot. oops! it turns out it was everyone else telling me to hate them who was annoying all along actually! these stupid flowers just reminded me that its truly not that fukin serious all the time lol cant we all just have some silly harmless fun? i will. enjoy being miserable or whatever tho. cant relate.


sighhhh alright im not crazy here. mario didnt used to be this easy. in the old games (that everyone says this is returning to) you had to actually practice more and get good to progress and i liked that because i loved being able to come back to them when i got older and better at games. it felt so cool to beat games after while rather than how it is now where youre just being handed everything all at once and then you never play the game again. thats lame.
i dont hate a game for wanting to be more accessible but this game almost crosses a line of forcing everyone to play on easy mode.

i think the first levels focused too much on being a walkthrough comedy theatre rather than an actual platformer game.
the wonder gimmicks often arent very difficult theyre just flashy and silly.

the difficulty star ratings for levels makes it more obvious how easy the game is lol

its weird to me that the main game is easy but then they add badges and easy characters on top of that… are people really that bad at playing mario??? whatever. its fine.

i just wish i wasnt so often forced to play on easy with so much stuff to make the game just a borderline walking simulator.

its nice that badges are optional as a form of a difficulty option thats appreciated but it’s annoying how it asks you to pick one before every level or manually reject the offer so its hard to resist the help when its offered. every. single. time.

but it is nice the game doesnt drag you back to the map screen when you die and keeps letting you try the level again.

its annoying when you set the badges manually because when you change them you forget you dont have a certain badge you previously had and it messes things up based on your expected powers.
powerups change your character’s appearance but the badges are invisible (one of them literally🙄) so you never can see which one you have equipped unless youre using it.

overall the badges shouldve just been permanent powerups or just normal question block powerups. 2d mario doesnt need to be this customizable as the encouraged default. only as an easy mode option.

maybe different characters couldve gotten access to different action badges as powerups?
1. mario parachute cap
2. luigi floating high jump
3. peach spin jump
4. daisy grappling vine
5. yellow toad wall climb jump
6. blue toad crouch jump
7. toadette dolphin kick
8. yoshis timed high jump
9. nabbit fast dash

boost badges should be another easy mode option.

and the expert badges shouldve just been wonder seed gimmicks.


the elephant powerup is fine but so was the flying squirrel fuck off i dont wanna hear anyone praise the elephant but bash the squirrel suit. shut the fuck up.

the drill is fine but like wasnt that a powerup in mario galaxy 2? whatever

the 3 collectable star coins in every level are now changed to purple flower coins to trick people into thinking this wasnt just ‘new super mario bros switch’ but i aint no dummy! lol
theyre too easy now because you can just run at them and die immediately and theyll be saved as if you collected them as long as you later beat the level in that play session. before you had a challenge of actually having to get them all with only the checkpoint being the save point. that shouldve been another difficulty setting.

removal of points and a timer is nice. that was always unnecessary clutter the games had out of tradition so im glad theyre willing to remove them and i never even noticed 99% of the time lmao

not running into others in multiplayer is great. this isnt smash bros. i hated the 'new' series for forcing me to unintentionally screw over ppl im playing with. idk maybe it couldve been a setting.

its dumb that everyone has to use the same badge in multiplayer

as usual idgaf about online shit and i never turned it on. its too temporary of gimmick because they’ll eventually shut down servers for it like they always do. not a fan of that kind of thing in games.

i wish this game used mario odyssey's 'coins as lives' system.

the game doesnt repeat its gimmicks too much which is appreciated.

the wonder seeds are funny but not always too challenging of gameplay most of the time. sometimes it doesnt feel like much actually changed with the gameplay to warrant the level looking different and it couldve just been a normal part of the level without any cutscene calling to your attention that its a wonder seed effect.

why is there a manual save button when the game autosaves anyways?

i hate that theres a limit of 999 purple coins because you need more than that to buy everything so you end up grinding for purples more than you should. shouldve gone up to 9999

the houses at the beginning of each world is a waste of time when its just dialogue with no challenge but youre still rewarded with a collectable so why is the collectable there? i didnt even do anything to get it?!?!

the search party houses are too difficult and nonsensical. stop making invisible blocks a thing. its dumb.

the invisible levels is really stupid gameplay.


i wish the worlds had more secret routes like super mario world. the game has multi exit flagpoles but they dont often lead anywhere they just give you another collectable.
its also lame how some paths are unlocked by literally doing that same thing twice like walking in and out of a building.

it pretends to be nonlinear about halfway through the game but it still railroads you an encourages you to play in order by numbering the worlds and making you go out of your way to skip past levels.

i wish shining falls & fungi mines had a boss fight.
not having the koopa kids is disappointing.
its weird not having petey piranha in this given the games flower/plant theme.
not having kamek as a boss fight was disappointing since he does magic which wouldve been cool mixed with the wonder seed stuff.
the bowser jr fights were pretty repetitive. they shouldve had jr in the airships (the conveyor belt endings of those were too easy they needed a boss fight after) and then the koopas could be in the palaces with petey piranha & kamek as mini castle bosses. or bring back the bosses from nsmb ds.
or! just make new bosses and scrap bowser jr and the kooplings! this isnt the mushroom kingdom so it shouldve had a new antagonist.

the push for easy gameplay makes the star road levels too difficult because there wasnt enough of a gradual build in difficulty.


aesthetic nitpicks:
this shouldve been called 'super mario wonder' without the 'bros.' part since theres only two known brothers that the bros title was originally referring to out of all these 12 characters lmao

i wish mario, luigi, peach, toads, daisy, & toadette had an easy mode option for their characters. like if you have an easy mode for kids its frustrating if they cant play as a main character and would be forced to be a weird dinosaur or an ugly rabbit thing. thats lame.
same for the reverse. i wish the yoshis and nabbit had a normal play option like the others.

i dont care for yoshi as a playable character. i much prefer him as a powerup tool.

why is light blue yoshi not called just blue yoshi. pointless detail.
normal yoshi should get color options like he does in mario kart 8 & smash bros.
rosalina, wario, and waluigi shouldve replaced the extra colored yoshis spots.

i dont care for nabbit. not maliciously i dont hate him but i dont need him to exist in this franchise either. i forget he’s a thing for whatever reason that he is.

the flagpoles shouldve been something new or just bring back the (under-utilized/underrated) ribbon gates from super mario world

i wish the poplins and talking flowers were themed different for each world.

the worlds are still themed like normal basically just the order has been rearranged a bit. the only newish world is the shining falls.
idc about this complaint tho im here for platforming gameplay but its stupid to act like this game is all that fresh. its just more detailed.

bowsers final world was kinda bland & forgettable. im sorry but nothing will top mario 3d worlds twist carnival world or odysseys japanese bowser castle.
props for trying tho i guess here instead of just going back to a lava world for bowser.
idk i expected another boss fight or something so when the game ended i was like oh thats it? ok whatever.

i hope this gets a dlc with a challenge mode like from mario bros u or a new world or levels or something.

again its a fine game. nothing fresh to me but it gets the job done. its accessible and inoffensive. and i appreciate the slightly different art design.
i still love it because as always nothing tastes quite as sweet as super mario :)
✌🏻

not having mushroom city, double dash bowsers castle, or double dash star road sucks but ill be forever bitter they never added wario colosseum to this game. it feels so perfect for this one. when i first saw the zero gravity gimmick i thought ‘oh this would be perfect for wario colosseum!” but they just… never used it. i got excited for the dlc adding new courses and then was disappointed yet again that it was never included in favor of dumb ugly mobile game courses nobody asked for.
fuck off

i hate the tour courses in the dlc. it should be mario locations not real life city locations. i dont care about going to boring ass vancouver canada ??? fuck off. the dlc is too oversaturated with them too.
i hate how the old courses that returned in the dlc are lazy looking on the switch using the cheap tour aesthetic.

they shouldve focused on bringing over tour racer characters & outfits and not adding any of the new courses. just make new courses for the dlc in their place. the fun of returning courses is that theyre from previous generation games people liked not a game thats still making content that nobody in their right mind really cares about.

i hate the splatoon, zelda, and animal crossing characters being added in this.
im fine with the courses being themed after other series but i only want mario characters for the racers
i wish (my favorite character) thwomp was a racer :/
and the old guy from luigis mansion
and captain toad
and bring back rob the robot!

i hate that cat peach, tanooki mario, metal mario, & pink gold peach are separated characters and not different versions of their normal slots the way yoshi, shyguy, & birdo get different colors to select from. (i hate the term skins for that it sounds gross)

i wish they had the original outfit colors for mario and luigi that they had in their original game

i wish theyd added a double dash 2 person on 1 kart option. it was a nice alternative for ppl like my sister who arent as good at games lol

but whatever this is still the best mario kart obviously. i love it for being so accessible for anyone to play while still having a challenge :)
✌🏻

got this in a cereal box for free lol it was short and bad. i love the movie tho.

i like that theres not anyways 1 way to do every puzzle.
it just needed an easy mode with some hints in a help menu that you can look at when needed. but as a setting that can only be turned on or off at the start of the game and makes you restart the entire thing if you want to change the setting. that way everyone who paid for it can play through it all with help when they need it and people who dont want help wont have to control any impulses of desiring help to ‘cheat’ on a puzzle.
✌🏻

overall its an alright remake it functions well enough. but its strengths are mostly just from the original ps1 games.
i just wish i could have easy access to the original ps1 games on my switch tho :/ i like art design in the low poly aesthetic more. the skyboxes were hazy and pretty and the grass felt like it was mowed... its more minimal and calming. oh well

Positives:
plays exactly like the original games. that was impressive.
you can play the original (superior) music
sparx can point to missing gems in the first 2 games now
gems sparkle more which makes them easier to collect
• spyro hopping around like a little rabbit/cat its adorable
• maps are available in all the games now
• beast makers homeworld and terrace village look better, i like the windmill added the the blowhard level (aka the funniest level name ever lol)
• they added back the missing/cut whirlwind in the midnight mountain homeworld
• you can wear sunglasses 😎 and also pride themed ones too :)
• the tiki guys from molten crater in spyro 3 have appropriate new zealand accents as they should lol
• you can spin and breath fire on the loading screens
• its nice the dragons all have unique looks/personalities

Negatives:
the art design is too detailed too often. it has a sort of tacky deviantart aesthetic that looks too much like cheap concept art brought to life without any fine tuning. its too blocky and plastic looking with lots of unevenness to structure decorations. it looks like the ugly legend of spyro trilogy games on the ps2 to me almost. they tried too hard to add as much stuff into the levels as possible in an attempt to wow you by the differences without realizing that minimalism isnt always a bad thing. i just hate how every cliff and field and building is just littered with details it gets obnoxious. as they say: “always take at least one item of clothing off before leaving the house...”
when theres so much details in the art design it makes the levels sometimes a sloppy distracting mess to try to navigate through despite the fact that i grew up playing these games
as a result the switch version has downgraded lame looking fire effects which sucks since... this is a game about a dragon lol ya know... the fire breathing fantasy creature? hello???
• sparx looks awful. he has limbs now and a big nose that separates his eyes it makes him look too doofy and stupid looking i fucking hate it
• theres no opening titles for individual games which makes playing them all kinda blend and blur together because they all look the same
• theres no guide books which loses a fun magical aesthetic the old games had. now its just a cold menu :/
the loading is sorta slow
• its weird they got rid of the animation of collected gems floating up around spyro while he's flying through a portal vortex

spyro 1 negatives:
all the chests are given keyholes and most can be charged/flamed so when you encounter chests that need a key its going to be confusing to new players why its not opening from a charge/flame attack. again less is more sometimes with art design
• the portal names are a little too high up to read easily
• the ramps in wizard peak arent checkered or lit up which is lame
• the balloonist is given a voice actor now and he sounds awful
• they changed the funny sarcastic delivery of spyros lines to be like a good boy instead of a snarky punk. lameeeeeeee
• the gnorc enemies shoot paint instead of bullets which is sorta lame. but also its not a totally bad decision. it only works because the level is also redone to be paint themed. whatever
• i sorta miss the simple dragon designs

spyro 2 negatives:
• elora looks like a recently transitioned transman who hasnt figured out how to brush their hair properly. she's just weird and ugly looking
• the central fountain in mystic marsh is very cheap and sad looking its lame

spyro 3 negatives:
the gem finder and fast travel warps are available from the start making 2 of the sparx levels pointless to play since the reward is now nothing. morons
• shiela now has human hair?? and clothes?? i fucking hate it so much!!!! (the heteros are at it again!)
• i dont care for all the added stones to the ledges in sunrise spring it looks clunky
• spooky swamp has ugly boring green water instead of purple water :/
• rynocs shoot plungers from crossbows instead of arrows.

the art design is beautiful and unforgettable. visually its probably the most creative and interesting video game ever? theres really nothing else quite like it. i mean the bar is low i guess for the medium but still lol i love the icelandic looking america and the fantasy supernatural stuff with the cool looking scifi tech/menus. its a fun combo of genres. all the main characters are so unique and cool. the music is great too.

i loved the gameplay more than i expected. i came for the aesthetics and stayed for the land traversal lol it all felt experimental & unique and fit with the unique art style. i just liked learning a new kind of gameplay it worked a lot for me. is hiking simulator an insult? sorry i don’t speak dumb moron i was having too much fun with it.
i enjoyed doing most of the orders. some are occasionally repetitive but every play session i learned something new or ran into a new challenge and i was always having fun with it.

its very cutscene/lore/dialogue/infodump heavy. i dont hate it but its got a ton of symbolism and thematic stuff you have to keep track of. it certainly makes the game feel epic and grand which i love. but the whole thing feels like its suffering from telling rather than showing.

the ending is sorta confusing. its super long with like several endings that goes on for a long time. its a weird feeling holding a controller and then setting it down because you realize youre gonna be watching the cutscene for a long while. its got a ton of dialogue that makes it hard for me to stay focused the whole time listening to them all talk. its got so many weird twists and things its hard to keep track of it all. moments that should feel emotional don’t because i dont know whats even happening until later on when things are revealed. but sometimes things are just not explained well at all. lol good luck trying to remember all this wacky symbolism storytelling in your head the first go around. like i was engaged and i dont hate it but its the type of storytelling that requires some homework to figure it all out and just inspires those tacky clickbait “ending explained” youtube videos and reddit threads. so thats lame.

like the basic stuff about being a dad works. i like that its a ‘dad game’ but unlike last of us & bioshock infinite the dad protagonist is actually a good person who saves the world and isnt a racist or a selfish mass murderer. it was a unique experience since i dont want kids and ill never have them. but never before in a dad game have i found my actions so heavily dictated by caring for the baby. i built & rode ziplines more to have fun with the baby hearing it laugh than to get places faster lol i was careful not fall down because i actually didnt want to hurt the kid. i got frustrated at one point with my task and in a normal game id kill my character jumping off a cliff or blowing myself up out of frustration to restart and before i was about to do that i heard a little baby noise and i i decided against it because i cared about the baby and wanted to peacefully restart instead instead of taking the kid with me jumping off a cliff lmao ive been getting over a depression so i related strongly with sams cold emotional state and how this kid was his main new reason for living. again i dont want kids so that element was a weird experience ill never actually have irl but it still made lot of sense and it was cool to have it in a story about the importance of connecting to other people.
so theres so many other moments like that but the point is that the gameplay felt so tied to the final parts of the story so it all makes sense that its about parenting.

but i wish the more complicated story stuff made some more sense and was explained and shown more clearly.
its also part 1 of a continuing story so maybe it could make more sense and be fleshed oiy with the sequel. i guess we’ll see. i like that there was still an attempt to make this game a stand alone experience and it is and it works as it needs to. but as ariel the little mermaid sings: i want moreeeeeeee

the tone and comedy is very odd at times but i didnt hate it.
i like that theres humor to the orders like the film directors king kong figurines lol
the bizarro humorous meta gaming references were... odd lmao not sure the point of all that?


most of my complaints come down to petty things. the game functions as it needs to. but i like nitpicking so here we go hehehehe

everytime i saw the horizon zero dawn holograms id delete them immediately. get that the shit OUTTA HERE!!! i dont care if they helped make this game or whatever im not playing their game. put a thank you in the credits and shut up. i just love the the art design of this game and hate the shit from that game. i hate seeing those giant ugly robot dinosaurs near structures its so dumb looking go away!!!!

the chiral artist girl was cringe and annoying. i hate couples like that. am i supposed to care about these dumb hetero clowns? i dont.

i wish there was a gay character. its cringe that all there was for that kind of diversity here was a weird subtle bashing of asexual people? whatever at least the directors cut fixed that.

i wish keanu reeves was in this game instead of stupid cyberpunk2077 (and i wanted that even before i knew he was considered to play clifford lol) i dont want him to play clifford but idk i wish he played someone in this story. actually no put him in the sequel!!!

its kinda annoying to have the only black character be the most annoying intrusive character always bothering you with audio messages.

young sam looks weird and ugly (no offense to the child actor lmao) but he looks nothing like norman reedus. why didnt they make a young version of his face? just copy photos of him as a kid or just have his son do mocap for the flashbacks.

i hate the way ziplines are used with sam just hanging on with one hand? like how is his arm not getting ripped off from the weight of his cargo or breaking his wrist on the cufflink? it just looks weird and wrong in a bad way. i wish he wouldve been sitting in like a cute lil single seater chairlift that flies on the weird blue light beam instead lol you only really need to build them in the snowy mountains so a chairlift wouldve probably fit the aesthetic better.

i wish the preppers had more mocap animations. they feel like robots. its interesting that the holograms are used for bts and for preppers. idk maybe there was so thematic symbolism there to visually compare them lol

its weird theres no indigenous americans in the game… theres like a dreamcatcher used i guess but like i wish there was more to do with them and black people. the game is explicitly in america but doesnt really engage with those pretty core aspects of this country.

the film director had some dumb email about ipads or whatever. i hate that director irl he’s so pretentious. gtfo of this game.

there shouldve been a music player to use during orders. have it fade off when youre in mule territory or building structures but play songs when youre just walking.

i wish the emails & interviews were both text and audio diaries that could be read in the menu like they are or played while doing orders.
even tho the game is already bogged down with story/lore i also kinda wish the stuff in the interviews were used in the story more. it wouldve helped some of the story make more sense.


i feel like a lot of aspects of this game would annoy me if i hadnt played many games before.

the confusing menus are probably my only major issue with the gameplay. theres so much hidden things that arent clear or explained and you really have to look closely at the tiny text to see and discover everything you can do and how to do things.
building ppc’s is weird.
selecting standard vs premium orders is easy to miss on the menu.
quick menu selections have secondary pages that are easy to miss.
the map has side details that are easy to miss.
scrolling in tips/interviews goes to fast with the highlighted selection too far down on the list which makes it too easy to scroll over and miss the new ones you want to read.
the bridge link data is too hidden.

theres exclamation points on the map for prepper shelters indicating lost cargo orders for sam in the shared locker but this info is hard to figure out.
the map needed filters for muting online structures/signs or just showing only your structures/roads/prepper locations. but its all clustered together and makes it hard to decipher sometimes.
i hate that you cant delete signs on the map and have to do it manually in the game.
the hud font should turn blacker in snowy areas because sometimes i couldnt see it against the snow/sky.

i wish orders couldnt be repeated. theres already so many orders theres no reason to do old ones all over again. plus it makes no sense why someone would order the same thing again so quickly lol
the reasons for the ratings are nonsense. sometimes ill fall off a cliff and get an S rank othertimes ill take no damage or anything getting there on ziplines and still get an A or a B for no apparent reason ???
also the rating levels were not explained. i didnt realize there was an additional s rank (and trophies for getting them) only available in hard mode which was annoying after id played 130 hours on normal.
premium deliveries should be auto selected and if you meet the requirements you get the premium delivery bonus. if not it should just log it as a completed ‘standard order delivery’ rating.
though i feel like youre not really supposed to care much about all the order scoring because the evaluation screen glosses over this stuff pretty quickly…

the interactive online aspect is…. fine. like i guess its tied to the themes of the game but i didnt need these exact themes so whatever.
its nice because i rarely ever crafted ladders or ropes because they were always in the environment. but that also makes orders not as difficult or fun because often times someone has already placed all the ladders and things needed on the map making the order boring to complete.
it was annoying having random structures some dipshit player built in places that made no sense so i had to aggressively delete them off my map. the signs were basically useless to me and just ended up making the game look cluttered and littered.
it was annoying when online structures blocked my ziplines.
i dont like button mashing on likes. one like would suffice. which is automatically given if a structure is used

the map splitting into 3 parts is annoying. for edge knot city it doesnt matter because its just story orders but for the eastern region it shouldve had a bottle neck area where you can still walk through instead of seperating your equipment on 2 maps. the great plateu in zelda didnt do that so harshly. it has a cliff but you can still carry all your equipment up to it.

the odradek’s bt area animation is too slow/zoomed in. it should be a quick 2 second slow down like when collecting chiral crystals or cryptobiotes

if youre within a preppers scanner poles their terminal should detect any cargo in the area for deliveries including anything inside a truck. it’s annoying and silly looking the way i had to ram my vehicles into the prepper shelters all wonky just so the terminal picks up my packages because i didnt want to have to pick them all out of the truck and carry them inside. which is annoying when its a big order with lots of cargo or you have multiple ongoing orders with lots of different cargo with you to sort through.

getting into vehicles is a pain because you have to stand in front of the door. in la noire just standing around the vehicle got you in it if you press the button.
i wish i could control when the truck lifts up and down. half the time i got stuck i couldve fixed it if i couldve controlled that.
there was 2 times where i got stuck between a rock and my truck door but couldnt get out of the rock hole i was stuck in making me totally stuck and i had to reload an old save to continue playing.
the trucks have some weird physics/controls to them. like they never flip over on tight turns (which i suppose is nice to not have to deal with) but then its weird the way they spin on hills so oddly and nonsensically. i dont think i ever fully understood it and just relied on getting lucky trying to go up hills. sometimes the wheels would stop completely and other times theyd spin endlessly even when i wasnt pressing buttons or the wheels would randomly go full speed out of nowhere even tho i didnt press them to do that? its like theres a weird control delay i never understood.

didnt care too much for mule raids/interactions, i tried to do stealth but it felt pointlessly difficult and rarely ever worked for me and i always ended up resorting to bashing into them with my trucks. its weird that the mules dont go on the highways?

the oxygen mask was underutilized. i think there were only like 2 toxic gas places to use it?

the unger battles were annoying and took too long for me to beat because its a totally different gameplay (and one that i hate) and the difficulty spike felt too harsh. maybe its just a meta commentary on modern shooter games? whatever.

the directors cut shouldve been a dlc for post game extras available on ps4.


despite my nitpicks i still loved this game a lot.

i had fun doing orders and building ziplines and highways and driving cars around lol

the odradek is so cool to use and its also really cute. sorry to the baby but i cared more when the odradek got shot more than whenever bb was crying/dying. i just hate babies and im not gonna apologize for that lol

im colorblind so having names for the different car colors is nice. idk how common that is in modern games but i like it.

i always held my breath whenever sam did hehe

it was cute getting the santa hat on christmas day.

i love mr lockers menu and his theme music its so chill and moody. i wish i could set the ps4 home menu to that theme.
✌🏻

super cute & fun lil game <3
(even if lot of it is just recycled content from the oracle games & four swords lol)
i love elzo.
links hat hair is cute.
its funny how the cats wiggle before they swipe at minish link lol
i wanna live in a minish home.

lots of fun gameplay i dont really have many major complaints really which is nice. it can be tricky to figure some stuff out but its not too unfair really.

the shell collecting for the figurines is not critical but it is really stupid! luckily i played with the switch’s save restore points thingy to cheat the system otherwise that would be an insufferable grind and id have given up trying to find endless shells.

getting the mirror shield from biggoran is really dumb because its a post game thing so it doesnt matter at that point because theres nothing left to do and it takes forever to wait for it🙄
wait… biggoran... big… goran… 😑 not sure why it took me that long to realize that.

anyways loved this game. i shouldnt have overlooked it and delayed playing it for so long.
✌🏻

love the tropical island setting a lot. its what i always wanted and didnt get enough of from other mario games.

the gameplay is a little too hard. as a veteran of the series i had fun with it but its not a game id recommend as someones first 3d mario game.
the most common issue i have is because theres too much realistic physics that makes it too difficult.

the controls are not explained in game well enough. im not reading a damn manual.

i dont like how you have to switch between nozzle types. that should just be 2 buttons. 1 for the squirt and another for the other 3 nozzle types.

i hate how it sends you back to delfino plaza when you die. so tedious.
the lily pad level is stupid and evil.
the pachinko level wasnt that hard. maybe i got lucky idk. shouldve been easier tho.

the voice acting sucks. fludds voice is insufferable.
i hate that it has a dumb story with bowser jr & peach
and mario being arrested or whatever who cares. he should get to the island and just wanna help out the end because he's a nice lil guy.
✌🏻