So, I have this local game store a few towns that I love going to. They are a great little store because they have visuals up on their walls for every console in existence, with the console itself and the box it was released in up there almost like a tiny museum. It's very nice to walk around and feel like I'm in a Video Game Store. The problem is, like most retro media stores, they price the old media they get turned/traded in at whatever the average price is up on eBay, or what have you. This means if you go in looking for a GameCube game or a DS game that is priced a little unfairly, you're not going to have any luck in person, either. What you're better off doing is hoping you find an old gem, something from your childhood that isn't priced at $100 for just the disc because it only really means something to you.

This was my first Game Boy Advance game. Along with two original, purple Game Boy Advances, my brother and I each got our first games. My brother got Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World (the same copy that I still have to this day), while I got this game. I was really into Battlebots as a real wee one (I was 3-5 years old during its original airing), and even though I would only rarely get to stay up long enough to watch it, I was obsessed. So, it was only fitting that my parents picked this out for me.

I have more memories of the TV show than I do of this game. I have maybe one flash of a childhood memory of playing this game around when I first got it, but I still remember it enough that when I walked into this local game store and saw that they not only had this game in stock, but had it complete-in-box. And, not only did they have it complete-in-box, but it was $14.99! A gem hidden amongst all of the $100 Pokémon and GameCube games. I brought it home, excited, honestly, to just hold one of those nice paper boxes that GBA games came in. Packaging that I missed going to KB Toys and seeing on the shelves behind the electronics section's counter...

Of course, however, the game sucks absolute balls and shaft. There's a career mode, where, as one could infer from the game's title, you build your own little robot. The thing is, this game doesn't exactly take from established racing and robot fighting genres in order to make customization intuitive and easy to understand, but is more like a proper Battlebots simulation. You have to make weight, and also make enough money to fix your robot, or just replace the parts, in a UI that is not easy on the eyes, or the brain. Its biggest crime, really, though, is you can't feel the hits, or the scrapes, or the shocks. The sound design plays like it just took from a factory stock of old sound effects that easily fit on a cartridge of a game with a third-party licensed IP budget, so it never feels like you smashing two cool ass fucking robots together! Which, now that I think of it, all of the different weapons are inconsequential because of this. Buzzsaws, hammers, pincers, the cast of Battlebots is so diverse but, in this game, you are just aiming a sprite at another sprite with tank controls. In face, it's a game of tank with bumper cars instead of tanks.

Also, why was every other fucking GBA game isometric 3D? What's up with that, huh?

This game, however, did spark some joy after abandoning the career mode for the VS. mode that has some all-star (robot) names that actually surfaced some subconscious memories, which was really nice. Unfortunately, it's another one of those Game Boy Advance games that I play once as a little goof and then let it sit in my collection forever. At the very least, it will sit in a box :)