One of the bloodiest fighting games of the '90s, BloodStorm introduces a post-apocalyptic grimdark story where leaders of multiple provinces fight to the death to rule Earth.
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this would probably be fun if it was 1995 and not 2023
better than any mortal kombat tho.
Gallons and gallons of blood is thrown around the screen as Liefeld-esque roid monkeys batter each other to the sounds of the shittiest midi guitars you'll ever hear. What I told you is basically the entire gist of BloodStorm. Born from the creatively bankrupt minds of the makers of Golden Tee machines comes a game that The Simpsons probably made fun of in that episode where Bart shoplifted Bonestorm.
Buy me BloodStorm or go to hell. Honestly I'd rather go to hell than get my imaginary child a cabinet of this game. It's an exceptionally embarrassing game to look at for me, because it represents a lot of the stereotypical western tropes of the 90s, except pretty much all of it is shit and aped off other games. This is basically what happens when you take Mortal Kombat and Doom and slammed them into each other at light speed for use on DOS, but put it on an arcade cabinet and forget to actually polish it up or properly potty train it.
I'll defend Mortal Kombat anytime despite how terribly it's mechanics have held up, but I won't sit here and pretend that it's existence didn't completely brainfuck every western fighting game developer for the longest time. BloodStorm is pretty much the epitome of that picture where the Gundam shoots a thing over the guy's head, except it's Scorpion shooting his spear over the Incredible Technologies developers as they go "wow blood!" No characters to latch onto, because they're all ugly looking stereotypes. No memorable music, because it all sounds like electronic vomit. A hopeless attempt to go "hey guys! we're better than Mortal Kombat!". It's just sad.
There are far worse games than BloodStorm, but I can't help but despise the crap out of it for how much of a poser it is as a hardcore fighting game. Hidden in the game are "trash talk" codes, you enter these to display text like "I WILL KNOCK YOU BACK INTO YOUR MOTHER" or "WHAT A PUSSWAD". However I reiterate that this game is a complete poser, because all instances of it trying to say "FUCK YOU" are censored with made up words like "FLONQ YOU" or "GRONK YOU". This game can't even go the whole way with it's vulgarity. Pathetic.
Getting overdosed on shit like this game back then was probably why I latched onto Sailor Moon and Pokemon as much as I did. Admittingly I do get nostalgic for certain things from the 90s like Batman Animated or the X-Men, but sometimes something comes along to remind me that the 90s also kinda sucked sometimes. Thank you BloodStorm, thank you for keeping me from getting too nostalgic for this era.
Dumb game.
Buy me BloodStorm or go to hell. Honestly I'd rather go to hell than get my imaginary child a cabinet of this game. It's an exceptionally embarrassing game to look at for me, because it represents a lot of the stereotypical western tropes of the 90s, except pretty much all of it is shit and aped off other games. This is basically what happens when you take Mortal Kombat and Doom and slammed them into each other at light speed for use on DOS, but put it on an arcade cabinet and forget to actually polish it up or properly potty train it.
I'll defend Mortal Kombat anytime despite how terribly it's mechanics have held up, but I won't sit here and pretend that it's existence didn't completely brainfuck every western fighting game developer for the longest time. BloodStorm is pretty much the epitome of that picture where the Gundam shoots a thing over the guy's head, except it's Scorpion shooting his spear over the Incredible Technologies developers as they go "wow blood!" No characters to latch onto, because they're all ugly looking stereotypes. No memorable music, because it all sounds like electronic vomit. A hopeless attempt to go "hey guys! we're better than Mortal Kombat!". It's just sad.
There are far worse games than BloodStorm, but I can't help but despise the crap out of it for how much of a poser it is as a hardcore fighting game. Hidden in the game are "trash talk" codes, you enter these to display text like "I WILL KNOCK YOU BACK INTO YOUR MOTHER" or "WHAT A PUSSWAD". However I reiterate that this game is a complete poser, because all instances of it trying to say "FUCK YOU" are censored with made up words like "FLONQ YOU" or "GRONK YOU". This game can't even go the whole way with it's vulgarity. Pathetic.
Getting overdosed on shit like this game back then was probably why I latched onto Sailor Moon and Pokemon as much as I did. Admittingly I do get nostalgic for certain things from the 90s like Batman Animated or the X-Men, but sometimes something comes along to remind me that the 90s also kinda sucked sometimes. Thank you BloodStorm, thank you for keeping me from getting too nostalgic for this era.
Dumb game.
If 2 female characters are fighting, the announcer says "cat fight" instead of "engage".