An adventurer named Dusty returns home with an enchanted Totem Pole. Due to an assortment of rare events, the spirits of the Totem have been freed and they have created a bizarre parallel universe that can devour the world. Lowman, the "head" of the Totem, needs some "muscle" as he calls it, to bring them back. He finds a pencil on the desk and makes it come to life. The pencil tells Lowman to call him Woody, WILLLLLLLLD Woody. Lowman explains what has happened with his Totem brothers and now Woody goes into the parallel universe, dimension by dimension, and rounds up Lowman's Totem brothers. In this game, you destroy your enemies by jumping on top of them and Woody can also wipe them out with his eraser. You can erase certain walls to get through them and you can also erase boxes that most of the time teleport if you press down. Other boxes contain items. You also can sketch things and they will come to life, but you can only do this twice because Woody shrinks very quickly from doing this. There are also power-ups that make you grow again.
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YOUR SUPPOSED TO LOAD THE SAVE FILE
I’ve known about this game for a minute and just avoided it because of the cover art. It didn't really look like my kind of game. What reminded me of this game's existence was seeing a tweet around a week ago that Wild Woody was added to an NSFW kart racing game. I had to do a double take, but it was actually real. I shouldn’t be surprised considering the name of the game, but, like, wow. I consider myself to be a fan of the Sega CD, so I did want to give this game a try.
The controls are some of the worst I’ve seen in the medium. When jumping, Woody stutters when rising and falling, so it ends up feeling like you’re rubber banding in an online game. Woody’s main form of attacking is jumping on enemies, which will play out an animation where he sinks into the enemy while erasing them from the level. There’s been times where I would try jumping on enemies upwards of 5 times in a row and it would still not register! He’s also got this sketch ability where you’ll have to press the pause button, flip through the sketch book to find the ability you want to use, and activate it, which plays out an animation. Admittedly, a cool idea, but badly integrated since you can only use 2 of these before having to get a powerup later in the level. For the most part, these are useless in the sense that they obstruct the flow of the game and are never good enough to where you’d even think of using them instead of just damage boosting through whatever enemy is in front of you. Abilities are mostly some awkward projectile or something that transforms you into something for more jump height and movement speed, all controlling as bad if not worse than your standard form. For example, there’s ones that turn you into a kangaroo and hobby horse.
This game is not good in the level design department either. Wild Woody has the design philosophies of Sonic CD with these large, incoherent mazes I’ve gotten lost in for some embarrassingly long times. Also cluttered with enemy placements that, at times, make taking damage feel unavoidable. It’s so bad you’re better off just damage boosting through everything since you’ll probably take more damage trying to avoid them. The enemies also really like throwing unfair projectiles, which you can’t even avoid at times. It’s evident this game was a rush job, and the stage design really makes that show. I get the vibe that they made the levels and didn’t even try playing through the game because a ton of stages have platforming segments that are way too awkward to perform consistently. In the Mount Olympus stage, there is a part where you literally have to take a leap of faith and hope you land on a small platform instead of falling below the area and having to climb back up again. I haven’t mentioned yet that Woody has an ability where he can erase areas of the map to find secrets and progress through the stage. That’s fine; at the start of the game, they highlight these areas to let you know you can erase them, but past level 1, they never mark them again. So, there are areas I’ve gotten trapped in where you just have to waste time guessing where the erasable floor or wall is. Funnily enough, they also increase the time to do so in later stages if it wasn’t already cryptic enough, because then you’ll have to wait longer to erase things with no prior indication.
First impressions of the music from stage 1 sound bad initially, but make more sense since Ron Thal who did the music, said that he made the soundtrack start off silly and progressively get more intense throughout. So even though the first song sounds like a prog rock cover of a nursery rhyme, it does start to pick up the pace with the later stages. My favorite songs are the space stage theme and this song that went unused due to a presumed programming bug. It's a bit goofy, but the high-tempo drums and the piano make for a pretty kickass boss theme, so it’s sad this song didn’t make it in.
How was this released?! Ristar literally came out earlier in the year, and this was supposed to be the swan-song for the Sega CD? How unfortunate… It’s a shame because I think this game had the potential to be pretty cool. I also think it's hilarious that the platforming mascot shit got so out of hand that they made one for a fucking pencil… At least the soundtrack is good.
The controls are some of the worst I’ve seen in the medium. When jumping, Woody stutters when rising and falling, so it ends up feeling like you’re rubber banding in an online game. Woody’s main form of attacking is jumping on enemies, which will play out an animation where he sinks into the enemy while erasing them from the level. There’s been times where I would try jumping on enemies upwards of 5 times in a row and it would still not register! He’s also got this sketch ability where you’ll have to press the pause button, flip through the sketch book to find the ability you want to use, and activate it, which plays out an animation. Admittedly, a cool idea, but badly integrated since you can only use 2 of these before having to get a powerup later in the level. For the most part, these are useless in the sense that they obstruct the flow of the game and are never good enough to where you’d even think of using them instead of just damage boosting through whatever enemy is in front of you. Abilities are mostly some awkward projectile or something that transforms you into something for more jump height and movement speed, all controlling as bad if not worse than your standard form. For example, there’s ones that turn you into a kangaroo and hobby horse.
This game is not good in the level design department either. Wild Woody has the design philosophies of Sonic CD with these large, incoherent mazes I’ve gotten lost in for some embarrassingly long times. Also cluttered with enemy placements that, at times, make taking damage feel unavoidable. It’s so bad you’re better off just damage boosting through everything since you’ll probably take more damage trying to avoid them. The enemies also really like throwing unfair projectiles, which you can’t even avoid at times. It’s evident this game was a rush job, and the stage design really makes that show. I get the vibe that they made the levels and didn’t even try playing through the game because a ton of stages have platforming segments that are way too awkward to perform consistently. In the Mount Olympus stage, there is a part where you literally have to take a leap of faith and hope you land on a small platform instead of falling below the area and having to climb back up again. I haven’t mentioned yet that Woody has an ability where he can erase areas of the map to find secrets and progress through the stage. That’s fine; at the start of the game, they highlight these areas to let you know you can erase them, but past level 1, they never mark them again. So, there are areas I’ve gotten trapped in where you just have to waste time guessing where the erasable floor or wall is. Funnily enough, they also increase the time to do so in later stages if it wasn’t already cryptic enough, because then you’ll have to wait longer to erase things with no prior indication.
First impressions of the music from stage 1 sound bad initially, but make more sense since Ron Thal who did the music, said that he made the soundtrack start off silly and progressively get more intense throughout. So even though the first song sounds like a prog rock cover of a nursery rhyme, it does start to pick up the pace with the later stages. My favorite songs are the space stage theme and this song that went unused due to a presumed programming bug. It's a bit goofy, but the high-tempo drums and the piano make for a pretty kickass boss theme, so it’s sad this song didn’t make it in.
How was this released?! Ristar literally came out earlier in the year, and this was supposed to be the swan-song for the Sega CD? How unfortunate… It’s a shame because I think this game had the potential to be pretty cool. I also think it's hilarious that the platforming mascot shit got so out of hand that they made one for a fucking pencil… At least the soundtrack is good.
While "Wild Woody" might seem like just another quirky platformer from the 90s, a deeper analysis reveals its subtle yet profound connections to the intricate realms of quantum mechanics and cosmology. Through its gameplay mechanics, narrative elements, and visual cues, "Wild Woody" serves as a microcosm for the macrocosmic mysteries that permeate our universe.
Firstly, let us delve into the quantum realm. At its core, quantum mechanics deals with the behavior of particles at the smallest scales, where traditional Newtonian physics break down. One of the fundamental principles of quantum mechanics is wave-particle duality, the idea that particles such as electrons can exhibit both wave-like and particle-like properties depending on how they are observed. In "Wild Woody," this duality is mirrored in the protagonist himself, who transforms from a stationary pencil into a dynamic, sentient being capable of traversing the game world.
Moreover, the concept of superposition, wherein particles can exist in multiple states simultaneously until observed, finds an intriguing parallel in the game's mechanics. As players navigate through the levels, they encounter various power-ups and transformations that alter Woody's form and abilities. These transformations can be seen as analogous to the different states of a quantum system, existing in a state of superposition until a specific action collapses the wave function and determines Woody's next form.
Furthermore, the uncertainty principle, famously formulated by Werner Heisenberg, posits that the more precisely we know the position of a particle, the less precisely we can know its momentum, and vice versa. This principle is echoed in the gameplay of "Wild Woody," where players must navigate precarious environments filled with obstacles and enemies. The inherent uncertainty of Woody's movements mirrors the uncertainty inherent in the quantum world, where the precise behavior of particles cannot be predicted with absolute certainty.
Moving beyond the quantum realm, "Wild Woody" also touches upon cosmological concepts that encompass the vastness of space and time. Cosmology seeks to understand the origin, evolution, and eventual fate of the universe, grappling with questions of cosmic inflation, dark matter, and the expansion of space itself. In the game, players traverse diverse landscapes that span different time periods and dimensions, from ancient Egypt to futuristic space stations. This cosmic journey parallels humanity's quest to explore the far reaches of the universe and unlock its deepest secrets.
Furthermore, the notion of entropy, the measure of disorder in a system, manifests in the game's mechanics as players navigate increasingly chaotic and challenging levels. Just as the universe tends towards greater entropy over time, so too does Woody's journey become increasingly fraught with obstacles and challenges as he progresses through the game. The struggle to maintain order amidst chaos mirrors humanity's own struggle to comprehend and navigate the complexities of the cosmos.
Additionally, the concept of the multiverse, wherein an infinite number of parallel universes exist alongside our own, finds expression in the game's branching paths and alternate endings. Players are presented with choices that shape Woody's destiny, leading to different outcomes and narrative branches. This branching structure mirrors the idea of multiple universes coexisting alongside our own, each with its own unique set of possibilities and outcomes.
In conclusion, "Wild Woody" transcends its status as a mere video game to become a canvas upon which the intricate tapestry of quantum mechanics and cosmology is woven. Through its gameplay mechanics, narrative elements, and visual aesthetics, the game invites players to ponder the profound mysteries of the universe while embarking on an epic journey through space and time. In this way, "Wild Woody" serves as a testament to the interconnectedness of all things, from the smallest subatomic particles to the vast expanse of the cosmos.
Firstly, let us delve into the quantum realm. At its core, quantum mechanics deals with the behavior of particles at the smallest scales, where traditional Newtonian physics break down. One of the fundamental principles of quantum mechanics is wave-particle duality, the idea that particles such as electrons can exhibit both wave-like and particle-like properties depending on how they are observed. In "Wild Woody," this duality is mirrored in the protagonist himself, who transforms from a stationary pencil into a dynamic, sentient being capable of traversing the game world.
Moreover, the concept of superposition, wherein particles can exist in multiple states simultaneously until observed, finds an intriguing parallel in the game's mechanics. As players navigate through the levels, they encounter various power-ups and transformations that alter Woody's form and abilities. These transformations can be seen as analogous to the different states of a quantum system, existing in a state of superposition until a specific action collapses the wave function and determines Woody's next form.
Furthermore, the uncertainty principle, famously formulated by Werner Heisenberg, posits that the more precisely we know the position of a particle, the less precisely we can know its momentum, and vice versa. This principle is echoed in the gameplay of "Wild Woody," where players must navigate precarious environments filled with obstacles and enemies. The inherent uncertainty of Woody's movements mirrors the uncertainty inherent in the quantum world, where the precise behavior of particles cannot be predicted with absolute certainty.
Moving beyond the quantum realm, "Wild Woody" also touches upon cosmological concepts that encompass the vastness of space and time. Cosmology seeks to understand the origin, evolution, and eventual fate of the universe, grappling with questions of cosmic inflation, dark matter, and the expansion of space itself. In the game, players traverse diverse landscapes that span different time periods and dimensions, from ancient Egypt to futuristic space stations. This cosmic journey parallels humanity's quest to explore the far reaches of the universe and unlock its deepest secrets.
Furthermore, the notion of entropy, the measure of disorder in a system, manifests in the game's mechanics as players navigate increasingly chaotic and challenging levels. Just as the universe tends towards greater entropy over time, so too does Woody's journey become increasingly fraught with obstacles and challenges as he progresses through the game. The struggle to maintain order amidst chaos mirrors humanity's own struggle to comprehend and navigate the complexities of the cosmos.
Additionally, the concept of the multiverse, wherein an infinite number of parallel universes exist alongside our own, finds expression in the game's branching paths and alternate endings. Players are presented with choices that shape Woody's destiny, leading to different outcomes and narrative branches. This branching structure mirrors the idea of multiple universes coexisting alongside our own, each with its own unique set of possibilities and outcomes.
In conclusion, "Wild Woody" transcends its status as a mere video game to become a canvas upon which the intricate tapestry of quantum mechanics and cosmology is woven. Through its gameplay mechanics, narrative elements, and visual aesthetics, the game invites players to ponder the profound mysteries of the universe while embarking on an epic journey through space and time. In this way, "Wild Woody" serves as a testament to the interconnectedness of all things, from the smallest subatomic particles to the vast expanse of the cosmos.
gets an extra point cuz the ost is like batshit dollar store hardcore primus/mr bungle i love it
the mount olympus and bonus round themes go unbelievably hard
the mount olympus and bonus round themes go unbelievably hard
One of the most awkward and horrible games I've ever played.
this is the most vile, putrid, horrifying, pathological, disturbing, illogical, lecherous and DISCRIMITORY game. if i could rate this in the negatives i would. FUCK this game, FUCK wild woody and FUCK sega this game is a disgrace to this earth and shouldnt have ever been made. NEVER, and i truly mean NEVER play this godawful game in your entire life there is NO saving grace, NO charm and NO purpose to this wretched game's existence.