There is a moment at the end of the games much talked about first musical section (Initiation 4 - We Sing) where we see Alan turn back towards the massively self indulgent song and dance literally all about him and smile to himself, implying that, despite being a literal nightmare, there is a part of Alan that genuinely enjoys the self centered torment of The Dark Place.

I have thought about this one tiny note of Ilka Villi's performance more than I have like 90 percent of AAA video game narratives combined.